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misconceptions about fab

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By *urvymama OP   Woman
over a year ago

Doncaster

When first joining fab many years ago on a previous profile. I expected an open minded community that would take sexual health extremely seriously.

In reality there are some people that are very closed minded to the the opinions of others that dont agree to their standards/opinions. Also some people very ill educated on the subject of sexual health with such statements as telling people they are "safe just by doing oral sex" or that "condoms stop STI's completely, which of course true, yes th risks are reduced but not impossible.

This was merely as curiosity I had from my own experiences, so was how different have other found fab in comparison to the reality of it an what they thought it would be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've been on a few swinger sites in the past and fab pretty much falls into line with the rest in terms of the mix of people, opinions and attitudes. All life is here: the good, the bad and the downright nuts.

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

Not sure whether this depends upon the sort of person you are. This is not a criticism as everyone is different. I tend to join social sites without preconceptions and accept the status quo. If it doesn't suit. ..I walk. I have a number of friends with opposite ideas and they want to reset a theme or culture to suit their own needs or wants. Each to their own I suppose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought it would be full of pervy old men. ....I wasn't wrong. ....But there are also lots of different types of people so it way exceeded my expectations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

That people think we will all think the same, have similar expectations and not be judgemental when deciding to exclude people

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I joined and took it as I found it.

I've been using the Internet to meet people for more than 15 years so there were no great surprises.

The people here are a cross-section of people from every day life, which is to be expected, and have the same range of _iews and beliefs as would be found in the general population.

It surprises me that anyone would expect "swingers" to all be similar to each other in any way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone on fab is different and there needs and the rules they play by and its just sorting out the ones that fit what your looking for here . Its high risk sex with strangers you cant get away from it. When you don't know people well you open yourself up to all sorts of things and not just STDs.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Back in the day it wasn't quite so... I think Fabs is the harshest community in terms of swinging sites, certainly on the forum... you generally need a thicker skin than in previous places. That said, there are a huge number of stupid questions asked here than I've ever encountered before and when you've been around a while, it gets more difficult not to be sarcastic in reply.

In the old days elsewhere we were encouraged to use the search button to see if a topic had been discussed before and whether the question had been answered previously so it stopped a load of the repetitive shite you see every day. Also the 'look at me' threads were discouraged and there was a definite air of discretion before verifications were introduced. It also made people try harder in terms of content of new topics which made for an interesting read and thought provoking replies. I miss those days.

Different times though is all. I think as the whole swinging thing has become less of a taboo subject, it's doors have opened to a wider audience. I suspect the more you populate somewhere, the more diverse the people and suddenly manners appear to be a thing of the past. Not always of course, but people are much less tolerant and in turn less patient and kind to the newbies. Behaviour of that sort then seems acceptable. I read stuff here sometimes and it's really clear that you would never hear the same conversations in real life but somehow we accept it from behind a keyboard. I'm pretty sure that in the many thousands of posts I've made in the last nine years, I've managed to get my point across without being offensive. I can pretty much live with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was surprised when really hot guys messaged me. Didn't expect that. It's been years since any guy has openly looked at me. Or maybe I never noticed before because I wasn't looking?

Dunno. But still surprised!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Back in the day it wasn't quite so... I think Fabs is the harshest community in terms of swinging sites, certainly on the forum... you generally need a thicker skin than in previous places. That said, there are a huge number of stupid questions asked here than I've ever encountered before and when you've been around a while, it gets more difficult not to be sarcastic in reply.

In the old days elsewhere we were encouraged to use the search button to see if a topic had been discussed before and whether the question had been answered previously so it stopped a load of the repetitive shite you see every day. Also the 'look at me' threads were discouraged and there was a definite air of discretion before verifications were introduced. It also made people try harder in terms of content of new topics which made for an interesting read and thought provoking replies. I miss those days.

Different times though is all. I think as the whole swinging thing has become less of a taboo subject, it's doors have opened to a wider audience. I suspect the more you populate somewhere, the more diverse the people and suddenly manners appear to be a thing of the past. Not always of course, but people are much less tolerant and in turn less patient and kind to the newbies. Behaviour of that sort then seems acceptable. I read stuff here sometimes and it's really clear that you would never hear the same conversations in real life but somehow we accept it from behind a keyboard. I'm pretty sure that in the many thousands of posts I've made in the last nine years, I've managed to get my point across without being offensive. I can pretty much live with that. "

fair points.... because i have been around probably just about as long as you have....

i am going to go "old man" now..... it just feels like in the past people use to do a bit more research as such, reading, and were more prepare and cope with dipping toes in the water so to speak..... and now it is people just jumping in with two feet blindly

in a way... older people in the swinging based forums can't win... because if a question is asked and no one answers... you get accused of not being friendly.... and if you say "well go and have a look at other people who asked and do a search because a lot of that advice will be useful..... you get accused of not being friendly....

actually the other thing i have noticed is that in my opinion, even though i still go to them, socials aren't nearly as enjoyable and all encompassing as they use to be.... I actually have theories on that in that part is now to the and regionalising of chatrooms..... so people dont meet people outside of their local area as they did..... and i think that is sad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was surprised when really hot guys messaged me. Didn't expect that. It's been years since any guy has openly looked at me. Or maybe I never noticed before because I wasn't looking?

Dunno. But still surprised!"

I'm not surprised your getting lots of attention from hot guys..have you looked at your profile..

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Yes indeed those were the days... I travelled the length of the country for a munch or a social and I've made so many great friends through this scene. I've been to weddings and funerals, weirdly a birth, christenings and all sorts of family gatherings as a result.

It very much became part of my life and whilst I didn't expect that, it's been a fabulous side effect. I just cleared out my tin of stolen badges and stuff I'd hoarded from venues over the years fairly recently. I guess we were in the lucky crowd who had those times, it's a very different playing field these days.

Wouldn't change those times for all the tea in China but I'm not sure I could recreate it now. There was a very definite sense of a community and whilst I'm sure there are the same crowds locally now, we were spread up and down the country. I'm glad I got to hang out then for sure!

Ah don't you just love memory lane?

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By *urvymama OP   Woman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Reading some of these post is making me nostalgic and i have no real basis for comparsion

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By *onguetastic1Man
over a year ago

Castleford

For me it's a community of like minded individuals.

For a lady friend whom I introduced to fab it was a nightmare. Immediately bombarded by weirdos with copy and paste messages ranging from the nervous hello to the down right disgusting.

I've noticed over the years that there are those with great personalities, there are those with great looks, then there are those that just think you get instant sex and leave when they don't.

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