FabSwingers.com forum: Random Idiocy

By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Ok, so to beat the Monday morning blues, just post any old crap on here. Thought provoking or not, your contribution is valuable to nobody but yourself.

Something for you to ponder over your cornflakes, would you sooner be attacked by a bear, or a bear with a gun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is the bear trained to use the gun? What kind of gun? Is the gun loaded? With what ammo? What kind of bear?

Soooo many questions!

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Well that bear should have been taught by it's parents to never play with guns!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well that bear should have been taught by it's parents to never play with guns! "

Perhaps It was an American bear and has a right to bear arms?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pooh bear or bungle? Don't think I'd like to be atacked by either of those on a cold Monday morning.

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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Well it's Yogi bear obviously, and he's packing a water pistol

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Well that bear should have been taught by it's parents to never play with guns!

Perhaps It was an American bear and has a right to bear arms? "

Well it's still a very very naughty bear,just because you can,doesn't mean you should!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well that bear should have been taught by it's parents to never play with guns!

Perhaps It was an American bear and has a right to bear arms?

Well it's still a very very naughty bear,just because you can,doesn't mean you should!"

How would it eat with no bear arms? Where would it keep it's bear paws?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well it's Yogi bear obviously, and he's packing a water pistol

Is that what he uses to jack tourists for their pick-a-nick baskets?

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Well that bear should have been taught by it's parents to never play with guns!

Perhaps It was an American bear and has a right to bear arms?

Well it's still a very very naughty bear,just because you can,doesn't mean you should!

How would it eat with no bear arms? Where would it keep it's bear paws?

You ask way to many questions you know!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well that bear should have been taught by it's parents to never play with guns!

Perhaps It was an American bear and has a right to bear arms?

Well it's still a very very naughty bear,just because you can,doesn't mean you should!

How would it eat with no bear arms? Where would it keep it's bear paws?

You ask way to many questions you know!"

I'm like a nosy kid

a meet with me is often likened to babysitting.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know a guy called bear, he was in the army. I think he knows how to use a gun

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Well that bear should have been taught by it's parents to never play with guns!

Perhaps It was an American bear and has a right to bear arms?

Well it's still a very very naughty bear,just because you can,doesn't mean you should!

How would it eat with no bear arms? Where would it keep it's bear paws?

You ask way to many questions you know!

I'm like a nosy kid

a meet with me is often likened to babysitting....."

Well they do say the only way to learn is to ask questions. What's the weather doing today,I haven't got my backside out of bed yet? Is that coffee in your cup?

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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Well it's Yogi bear obviously, and he's packing a water pistol

Is that what he uses to jack tourists for their pick-a-nick baskets?

Noooo silly billy, he uses an Acme Colt that Boo Boo bear nicked off Ranger Smith for that

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I'm hungry but can't decide what to have for breakfast.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well they do say the only way to learn is to ask questions. What's the weather doing today,I haven't got my backside out of bed yet? Is that coffee in your cup? "

Overcast - and it is coffee - how do you like your eggs?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trains are fucking misery stores, Cheer up people

Gurning Gimp

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I wish Tony Hart would stop dying on my facebook feed.

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By *afadaoMan
over a year ago

Staines

I saw a big, brown bear hold up a bank with a gun but it went terribly wrong - it was a Bungled robbery

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Well they do say the only way to learn is to ask questions. What's the weather doing today,I haven't got my backside out of bed yet? Is that coffee in your cup?

Overcast - and it is coffee - how do you like your eggs?"

Scrambled,served by a hunk in a pinny!

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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I'm hungry but can't decide what to have for breakfast. "

Kippers perhaps? I'm going into town in a bit, I'll fetch some

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well they do say the only way to learn is to ask questions. What's the weather doing today,I haven't got my backside out of bed yet? Is that coffee in your cup?

Overcast - and it is coffee - how do you like your eggs?

Scrambled,served by a hunk in a pinny!"

Don't have a pinny.... towel?

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Well they do say the only way to learn is to ask questions. What's the weather doing today,I haven't got my backside out of bed yet? Is that coffee in your cup?

Overcast - and it is coffee - how do you like your eggs?

Scrambled,served by a hunk in a pinny!

Don't have a pinny.... towel?"

What size towel? Big one not good,small one more than acceptable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well they do say the only way to learn is to ask questions. What's the weather doing today,I haven't got my backside out of bed yet? Is that coffee in your cup?

Overcast - and it is coffee - how do you like your eggs?

Scrambled,served by a hunk in a pinny!

Don't have a pinny.... towel?

What size towel? Big one not good,small one more than acceptable

Big enough to prevent any potential injury during the cooking of your eggs

Just big enough.....

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I'm hungry but can't decide what to have for breakfast.

Kippers perhaps? I'm going into town in a bit, I'll fetch some

Er ta but I've now eaten!

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Well they do say the only way to learn is to ask questions. What's the weather doing today,I haven't got my backside out of bed yet? Is that coffee in your cup?

Overcast - and it is coffee - how do you like your eggs?

Scrambled,served by a hunk in a pinny!

Don't have a pinny.... towel?

What size towel? Big one not good,small one more than acceptable

Big enough to prevent any potential injury during the cooking of your eggs

Just big enough....."

Good thinking,safety first. Scrambled eggs,toast,coffee,half teaspoon sugar,thankyou...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well they do say the only way to learn is to ask questions. What's the weather doing today,I haven't got my backside out of bed yet? Is that coffee in your cup?

Overcast - and it is coffee - how do you like your eggs?

Scrambled,served by a hunk in a pinny!

Don't have a pinny.... towel?

What size towel? Big one not good,small one more than acceptable

Big enough to prevent any potential injury during the cooking of your eggs

Just big enough.....

Good thinking,safety first. Scrambled eggs,toast,coffee,half teaspoon sugar,thankyou..."

Salted butter on the toast?

Coffee black or white?

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Why do all clouds look like Bruce Forsyth in profile? I'm fucking sick of it.

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

If you ever feel down, just imagine a T-Rex trying to have a wank

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you ever feel down, just imagine a T-Rex trying to have a wank

Guessing its big enough he can reach...

Making the bed afterwards though......

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Well they do say the only way to learn is to ask questions. What's the weather doing today,I haven't got my backside out of bed yet? Is that coffee in your cup?

Overcast - and it is coffee - how do you like your eggs?

Scrambled,served by a hunk in a pinny!

Don't have a pinny.... towel?

What size towel? Big one not good,small one more than acceptable

Big enough to prevent any potential injury during the cooking of your eggs

Just big enough.....

Good thinking,safety first. Scrambled eggs,toast,coffee,half teaspoon sugar,thankyou...

Salted butter on the toast?

Coffee black or white?"

I'm easy going on the butter,whatever is available. White coffee please,semi skimmed milk,but again I'm easy...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well they do say the only way to learn is to ask questions. What's the weather doing today,I haven't got my backside out of bed yet? Is that coffee in your cup?

Overcast - and it is coffee - how do you like your eggs?

Scrambled,served by a hunk in a pinny!

Don't have a pinny.... towel?

What size towel? Big one not good,small one more than acceptable

Big enough to prevent any potential injury during the cooking of your eggs

Just big enough.....

Good thinking,safety first. Scrambled eggs,toast,coffee,half teaspoon sugar,thankyou...

Salted butter on the toast?

Coffee black or white?

I'm easy going on the butter,whatever is available. White coffee please,semi skimmed milk,but again I'm easy..."

move up.....

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Well they do say the only way to learn is to ask questions. What's the weather doing today,I haven't got my backside out of bed yet? Is that coffee in your cup?

Overcast - and it is coffee - how do you like your eggs?

Scrambled,served by a hunk in a pinny!

Don't have a pinny.... towel?

What size towel? Big one not good,small one more than acceptable

Big enough to prevent any potential injury during the cooking of your eggs

Just big enough.....

Good thinking,safety first. Scrambled eggs,toast,coffee,half teaspoon sugar,thankyou...

Salted butter on the toast?

Coffee black or white?

I'm easy going on the butter,whatever is available. White coffee please,semi skimmed milk,but again I'm easy...

move up....."

I'm flipping up now,the service was taking way to long. I can always get back in though,it can be for my lunch instead

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By *onnyeasygoingMan
over a year ago

Somewhere on the M62 between 24 and 14

Ive always wondered that if a a pair of socks has 2 items... Why di you call it a pair of knickers when it is singular item???

Ponder.. ponder..

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Ive always wondered that if a a pair of socks has 2 items... Why di you call it a pair of knickers when it is singular item???

Ponder.. ponder.. "

because you have two cheeks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can anyone explain why I'm not hungry unless I eat then I'm starving? I think my metabolism is on backwards

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

"Ive always wondered that if a a pair of socks has 2 items... Why di you call it a pair of knickers when it is singular item???

Ponder.. ponder..

because you have two cheeks!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and whilst were on the subject of pants, why does Donald duck never wear trousers yet when he gets out of the shower he wraps a towel round his waist...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can anyone explain why I'm not hungry unless I eat then I'm starving? I think my metabolism is on backwards"

this is so me

as soon as one thing goes past my lips I just need more, more, more

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Oh and whilst were on the subject of pants, why does Donald duck never wear trousers yet when he gets out of the shower he wraps a towel round his waist..."

So we don't see his imaginary cock!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its pissing down , the fires gone out , she ain't turned up and this thing ain't gonna milk itself !

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By *lovisMan
over a year ago

Twickenham

Why as a 'valued customer' (their words not mine) can't BT offer me a broadband packages as cheaply and with all the benefits they offer new customers?

It's not making me feel 'valued '

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh and whilst were on the subject of pants, why does Donald duck never wear trousers yet when he gets out of the shower he wraps a towel round his waist...

So we don't see his imaginary cock!"

But he's happy to wave it around the rest of the time? In front of his nephews too?

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Oh and whilst were on the subject of pants, why does Donald duck never wear trousers yet when he gets out of the shower he wraps a towel round his waist...

So we don't see his imaginary cock!

But he's happy to wave it around the rest of the time? In front of his nephews too? "

Don't worry about that,his nephews can't see it,it's imaginary don't forget!

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

If it is a real bear with a gun, throw a jar of honey behind him, while he watches the jar, rush him get the gun and shoot a round into the air and scare the bear.

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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Why do all clouds look like Bruce Forsyth in profile? I'm fucking sick of it."

Bruce Forsyth is accountable for many of life's unexplained mysteries

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm hungry but can't decide what to have for breakfast. "

What did you have? I had Nutella on toast.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Why do all clouds look like Bruce Forsyth in profile? I'm fucking sick of it.

Bruce Forsyth is accountable for many of life's unexplained mysteries

Something I am slowly discovering old friend. *strokes chin*

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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I'm hungry but can't decide what to have for breakfast.

What did you have? I had Nutella on toast."

She didn't have the kippers that have been repeating on me throughout this afternoon

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