FabSwingers.com forum: cowered or not?

By *r Man. OP Man
over a year ago

London

I was in a small gathering of people and the conversation turned to swinging.

Every body in room vented their disgust upon how vile it was that people would share there respective partners with complete strangers.

That wasn't the problem for me of what they thought.

The problem for me was (as a very opinionated person) i was quite as a lamb.

Because i know if it was anything discriminatory about race os sex i would have put my pennys worth in.

Was i a coward?

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By *moothies.Couple
over a year ago

Woodthorpe

Sometimes it's wise to just listen and say nothing

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I don't think it was cowardly of you... it's your business how you live your life and no one else's... I think I would have said it's up to the individual without putting my private life up for public discussion.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I suspect that at least one or two of them didn't believe what they were saying.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

When I'm at work and someone is saying something homophobic I open my mouth and take the line what difference does it make to them who someone is finding happiness with.

With swinging, I think I'd just ask them what difference does it make to them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in a small gathering of people and the conversation turned to swinging.

Every body in room vented their disgust upon how vile it was that people would share there respective partners with complete strangers.

That wasn't the problem for me of what they thought.

The problem for me was (as a very opinionated person) i was quite as a lamb.

Because i know if it was anything discriminatory about race os sex i would have put my pennys worth in.

Was i a coward?"

Nah. You pick your battles don't you? Sounds like you wouldn't have changed their opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it's just a hobby, don't worry about it. I'm never going to tell a train spotter his hobby is boring. let it slide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone is entitled to an opinion so I'd say not. It's not their thing so their loss.

Think we live under stereotypical norms and deviation is seen as wrong. My _iew is we are here for a short period and being happy is important even if it's not the perceived norm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No harm in being discreet

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom

The uninformed usually make the most noise... If they tried it and liked it then their tune would change.

But coward? No a bit....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're entitled to their opinion. You didn't have to stick up for swinging, especially as it would have made them suspicious about why you were doing that, but i would have asked where they got their facts from and asked them to elaborate on why it was disgusting, you probably could have quashed a few myths for them.

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By *r Man. OP Man
over a year ago

London

"When I'm at work and someone is saying something homophobic I open my mouth and take the line what difference does it make to them who someone is finding happiness with.

With swinging, I think I'd just ask them what difference does it make to them?

lol with your 1st paragraph, yes that's all me, champion the rights of the individual.

So why didn't i champion the swinger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its better to keep quiet with people you have to work with and see everyday, unless you know them realy well.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

In discussions before about swinging I've always commented along the lines of it's just sex and if people enjoy it then good for them

I don't think deep and meaningful debate is worth it for swinging

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By *r Man. OP Man
over a year ago

London

"They're entitled to their opinion. You didn't have to stick up for swinging, especially as it would have made them suspicious about why you were doing that, but i would have asked where they got their facts from and asked them to elaborate on why it was disgusting, you probably could have quashed a few myths for them."

A few of my friends male and females know that I'm a swinger.

When someone has a _iew on a subject, yes you can discuss it with them. But it started off light-hearted conversation to basically there all the nasty and vile.

I just had a thought maybe i/some of us, are in that closet

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

It is not my mission to convert the non swinging people and therefore, I treat it like controversial topics discussions on fox hunting. I might add my _iews on swinging without necessarily saying that I am part of the life style but then again I might not. If a genuine discussion turns vile it generally says more about the people who allow it to turn vile rather than the topic itself so I would withdraw.

Cowardice? Not at all in my world! Just a preference to have conversations/ discussions/ debate with people who stick by the rules of discussions and do not become aggressive and personal.

OP, you have done nothing wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i often say to people slagging stuff off they know nothing about ''dont knock it until you try it'' (obviously not applicable to all subjects) - you will find they go yeah i guess and give you a look as if to say how do you know but they never ask - makes me smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people are narrow minded and some are open minded. Staying quiet means that you don't follow the flock and choose when to voice an opinion.

Some people cast an opinion in things they know nothing about!

Just be you and that's all you can be!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A few of my friends male and females know that I'm a swinger.

When someone has a _iew on a subject, yes you can discuss it with them. But it started off light-hearted conversation to basically there all the nasty and vile.

I just had a thought maybe i/some of us, are in that closet"

Don't worry about it too much. You might not have wanted them to class you as vile, or as it was new to you seeing swingers/swinging slagged off you just didn't know what to do.

I don't really care personally about anyones opinion of me, but i'm not a professional anything and don't have to. I often speak before i think, sometimes it's better not to.

I agree with the comments about it's only sex, and what's it got to do with anybody else. Unfortunately we live in a society where some things still aren't accepted, even if it's nobody elses business and their opinion isn't wanted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't let it bother you. They are hardly being discriminatory. It's only an opinion on someone's hobby. They are entitled to it. Now if they'd said lets go and bash some swingers then that would be different.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

some people within the swinging world think the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"some people within the swinging world think the same

Yes of course they do.

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By *r Man. OP Man
over a year ago

London

"It is not my mission to convert the non swinging people and therefore, I treat it like controversial topics discussions on fox hunting. I might add my _iews on swinging without necessarily saying that I am part of the life style but then again I might not. If a genuine discussion turns vile it generally says more about the people who allow it to turn vile rather than the topic itself so I would withdraw.

Cowardice? Not at all in my world! Just a preference to have conversations/ discussions/ debate with people who stick by the rules of discussions and do not become aggressive and personal.

OP, you have done nothing wrong

"
Thanks ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in a small gathering of people and the conversation turned to swinging.

Every body in room vented their disgust upon how vile it was that people would share there respective partners with complete strangers.

That wasn't the problem for me of what they thought.

The problem for me was (as a very opinionated person) i was quite as a lamb.

Because i know if it was anything discriminatory about race os sex i would have put my pennys worth in.

Was i a coward?"

It is disgusting.

They were right.

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By *r Man. OP Man
over a year ago

London

"I was in a small gathering of people and the conversation turned to swinging.

Every body in room vented their disgust upon how vile it was that people would share there respective partners with complete strangers.

That wasn't the problem for me of what they thought.

The problem for me was (as a very opinionated person) i was quite as a lamb.

Because i know if it was anything discriminatory about race os sex i would have put my pennys worth in.

Was i a coward?

It is disgusting.

They were right. "

Ok i just have to live with the fact that I'm a wicked evil sexual deviant ??

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By *r Man. OP Man
over a year ago

London

"A few of my friends male and females know that I'm a swinger.

When someone has a _iew on a subject, yes you can discuss it with them. But it started off light-hearted conversation to basically there all the nasty and vile.

I just had a thought maybe i/some of us, are in that closet

Don't worry about it too much. You might not have wanted them to class you as vile, or as it was new to you seeing swingers/swinging slagged off you just didn't know what to do.

I don't really care personally about anyones opinion of me, but i'm not a professional anything and don't have to. I often speak before i think, sometimes it's better not to.

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