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50 shades of grey..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Anyone here genuinely into bdsm? Do you think its good it's in the film and books and will give an insight to the lifestyle? Or will it just encourage people to pretend they are into it purely because Hollywood says it's cool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bit of both I am guessing

Will certainly raise the profile more than 9 1/2 weeks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree that it being in the public eye not a bad thing, however the books certainly did not portray the bdsm scene in any kind of realistic or healthy light.

I found them badly written and with very little what I would call real bdsm in them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They were written as soft Mummy porn by someone with no practical Experience..

Says it all really

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont know..B&Q are drafting in extra rope and masking tape just in case.

Her

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Anyone here genuinely into bdsm? Do you think its good it's in the film and books and will give an insight to the lifestyle? Or will it just encourage people to pretend they are into it purely because Hollywood says it's cool "

I think it has done one thing for sure...It has made it acceptable to talk about BDSM amongst non swingers and the generally less open people. Openness is a good thing in my book.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Dont know..B&Q are drafting in extra rope and masking tape just in case.

Her"

Along with more sheds and grey paint for the not so literate amongst us

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Anyone here genuinely into bdsm? Do you think its good it's in the film and books and will give an insight to the lifestyle? Or will it just encourage people to pretend they are into it purely because Hollywood says it's cool

I think it has done one thing for sure...It has made it acceptable to talk about BDSM amongst non swingers and the generally less open people. Openness is a good thing in my book. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dont know..B&Q are drafting in extra rope and masking tape just in case.

Her

Along with more sheds and grey paint for the not so literate amongst us "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone here genuinely into bdsm? Do you think its good it's in the film and books and will give an insight to the lifestyle? Or will it just encourage people to pretend they are into it purely because Hollywood says it's cool "

The books and film do not give an "insight to the lifestyle", what EL James calls BDSM is in fact RAPE and STALKING. The woman knows nothing at all about BDSM/Fet except for fiction read on fanfic pages.

Anyone who imitates these atrocities in real life is likely to either be a. arrested or b. seriously harmed, physically, mentally or emotionally.

The BDSM Community is up in arms about the books and has been since the first piece of poorly written trash hit the shelves. Many submissives have actually formed rallies, signed petitions to get the book removed from shelves and more.

As a D/s couple who have been in the BDSM/Fet Lifestyle and community for nearly 20 years each, we have found these books to be extremely harmful to the community, setting expectations of abuse, stalking and non consensual sex (aka RAPE) to people entering the community and lifestyle.

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By *iccardaTV/TS
over a year ago

Wallasey

if it gets people talking and being more open then its a good thing

and if it boosts employment in DIY stores all the better

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"if it gets people talking and being more open then its a good thing

and if it boosts employment in DIY stores all the better "
That s what I was trying to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in to BDSM

I'm hoping that the normalisation of kink in the mainstream media will bring us one step closer to not being persecuted for our sexual preferences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone here genuinely into bdsm? Do you think its good it's in the film and books and will give an insight to the lifestyle? Or will it just encourage people to pretend they are into it purely because Hollywood says it's cool

The books and film do not give an "insight to the lifestyle", what EL James calls BDSM is in fact RAPE and STALKING. The woman knows nothing at all about BDSM/Fet except for fiction read on fanfic pages.

Anyone who imitates these atrocities in real life is likely to either be a. arrested or b. seriously harmed, physically, mentally or emotionally.

The BDSM Community is up in arms about the books and has been since the first piece of poorly written trash hit the shelves. Many submissives have actually formed rallies, signed petitions to get the book removed from shelves and more.

As a D/s couple who have been in the BDSM/Fet Lifestyle and community for nearly 20 years each, we have found these books to be extremely harmful to the community, setting expectations of abuse, stalking and non consensual sex (aka RAPE) to people entering the community and lifestyle."

Not everyone in the BDSM community feels like you do. Please refrain from speaking for a very large and extraordinarily diverse group of people.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Anyone here genuinely into bdsm? Do you think its good it's in the film and books and will give an insight to the lifestyle? Or will it just encourage people to pretend they are into it purely because Hollywood says it's cool

The books and film do not give an "insight to the lifestyle", what EL James calls BDSM is in fact RAPE and STALKING. The woman knows nothing at all about BDSM/Fet except for fiction read on fanfic pages.

Anyone who imitates these atrocities in real life is likely to either be a. arrested or b. seriously harmed, physically, mentally or emotionally.

The BDSM Community is up in arms about the books and has been since the first piece of poorly written trash hit the shelves. Many submissives have actually formed rallies, signed petitions to get the book removed from shelves and more.

As a D/s couple who have been in the BDSM/Fet Lifestyle and community for nearly 20 years each, we have found these books to be extremely harmful to the community, setting expectations of abuse, stalking and non consensual sex (aka RAPE) to people entering the community and lifestyle."

If people cannot distinguish between rape and sexual experimentation, plus the difference between fact and fiction, perhaps they should be banned from reading full stop.

In my world this whole book has been made into something it isn't, by a lets get on the bandwagon brigade that's not even read the damned thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spend some time on the multitude of BDSM/Fet community websites, including the "big three" (FL, bcom, collarme) and you'll see I'm speaking for a large majority.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can anyone recommend any good books along the same lines?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Spend some time on the multitude of BDSM/Fet community websites, including the "big three" (FL, bcom, collarme) and you'll see I'm speaking for a large majority."

The one thing that puts me off BDSM is not this book but the attitude of some of the community.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stole this off a well known fetish site that I can not mention here

B&Q NOTE TO STAFF RE FIFTY SHADES

STAFF BRIEFING

PREPARATION FOR FIFTY SHADES OF GREY CUSTOMER QUERIES

OVERVIEW

Following the film release of Fifty Shades of Grey, B&Q employees may encounter increased customer product queries relating to rope, cable ties and masking or duck tape. Store Managers should anticipate the need for extra stock and store staff should read the following brief to prepare them to handle potentially sensitive customer questions.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

On Saturday 14th February 2015 popular erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey will be released as a film and is expected to do well in the Box Office. Written by E.L. James, the story follows the relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young, successful business man, Christian Grey, who introduces her to the world of bondage and dominant/submissive sexual role play.

Pre_iew footage depicts a notable scene from the book where Christian Grey visits a hardware store to purchase rope, cable ties and tape. Rather than bought for home improvement purposes, these products are intended to fulfil Mr Grey's unconventional sexual pursuits.

WHY DOES IT AFFECT US?

As the UK's leading DIY store, we stock many of the products featured in this notable scene and then used later in the film. When the book was released in 2012 DIY and hardware stores in the UK and US reported increased demand of certain products and queries from customers as they tried to recreate their own 'Fifty Shades' experiences. We need to be prepared for the same effect when the film is released this month.

B&Q'S POLICY

It is always B&Q's policy that products should only be used for their designed purposes. Nevertheless, all staff should read this briefing notice to prepare for potentially sensitive customer enquiries and managers need to be aware of the implications that the film may have on stock levels.

STAFF BRIEFING

All staff are encouraged to familiarise themselves with the content of Fifty Shades of Grey by reading the novel or watching the film upon its release. Copies of the book will be delivered to each store and can be lent to staff on a one week basis. Understanding the storyline and how some products that B&Q stock feature in the film will better prepare staff for incoming queries.

Queries may be unusual and sensitive in nature but staff are reminded of B&Q's commitment to assist customers in a polite, helpful and respectful manner. A level of discretion is also advised.

Store managers are requested to monitor stock levels of rope, cable ties, masking tape and duck tape to ensure that supplies do not run low. Fifty Shades of Grey is released in cinemas on Saturday 14th February 2015 and the busiest sales periods for these products are expected to run from Sunday 15th February to Sunday 1st March 2015 with a focus on weekend trading.

The date for the DVD and home entertainment release of Fifty Shades of Grey is yet to be confirmed but a second briefing may be issued closer to that time.

STAFF ARE ASKED TO KEEP THE CONTENTS OF THIS BRIEFING WITHIN THE COMPANY.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS RELATING TO THE CONTENTS OF THIS BRIEFING PLEASE SPEAK TO YOUR REGIONAL MANAGER

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If people cannot distinguish between rape and sexual experimentation, plus the difference between fact and fiction, perhaps they should be banned from reading full stop.

In my world this whole book has been made into something it isn't, by a lets get on the bandwagon brigade that's not even read the damned thing."

Sadly, we read all 3, the first out of curiosity as to why so many were upset by the portrayal of BDSM/Fet, the other 2 just to see if we could find anything remotely accurate, grammatically correct or that could be considered literature.

I agree, in an ideal world, people would know the difference. But the influx of "Doms" and "Dommes" appearing in the community that think non-consensual kink is acceptable and normal has been horrific. Not to mention countless submissives that have had horrendous experiences at the hands of these so called Dominants, and indeed submissives that expect this to be normal behavior thanks to these badly researched books.

Now by comparison, look at the Kushiel Series, Story of O, John Norman's Gor books, the Sleeping Beauty trilogy, hell anything written for Black lace publishing (who often add a disclaimer at the beginning of novels)... all of these books are written to show and example of BDSM/Fet.. but they clearly show it's fiction... the issue with the 50 Shades books is that they have been adopted as real world fiction... a "what if", not as a work of literary fiction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Spend some time on the multitude of BDSM/Fet community websites, including the "big three" (FL, bcom, collarme) and you'll see I'm speaking for a large majority."

I wouldn't say it's a large majority.

I'd suggest that it's a VERY vocal minority. Most people simply do not give a fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Sadly, we read all 3, the first out of curiosity as to why so many were upset by the portrayal of BDSM/Fet, the other 2 just to see if we could find anything remotely accurate, grammatically correct or that could be considered literature.

I agree, in an ideal world, people would know the difference. But the influx of "Doms" and "Dommes" appearing in the community that think non-consensual kink is acceptable and normal has been horrific. Not to mention countless submissives that have had horrendous experiences at the hands of these so called Dominants, and indeed submissives that expect this to be normal behavior thanks to these badly researched books.

"

1. Check your own written work before criticising that of others. Glass houses etc.

2. This hasn't actually happened out and about within the kink community. These 'rapists' have not seemed to have appear in clubs, despite many people online saying that they're the current terror of the month.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If people cannot distinguish between rape and sexual experimentation, plus the difference between fact and fiction, perhaps they should be banned from reading full stop.

In my world this whole book has been made into something it isn't, by a lets get on the bandwagon brigade that's not even read the damned thing.

Sadly, we read all 3, the first out of curiosity as to why so many were upset by the portrayal of BDSM/Fet, the other 2 just to see if we could find anything remotely accurate, grammatically correct or that could be considered literature.

I agree, in an ideal world, people would know the difference. But the influx of "Doms" and "Dommes" appearing in the community that think non-consensual kink is acceptable and normal has been horrific. Not to mention countless submissives that have had horrendous experiences at the hands of these so called Dominants, and indeed submissives that expect this to be normal behavior thanks to these badly researched books.

Now by comparison, look at the Kushiel Series, Story of O, John Norman's Gor books, the Sleeping Beauty trilogy, hell anything written for Black lace publishing (who often add a disclaimer at the beginning of novels)... all of these books are written to show and example of BDSM/Fet.. but they clearly show it's fiction... the issue with the 50 Shades books is that they have been adopted as real world fiction... a "what if", not as a work of literary fiction.

"

What is Real World Fiction ?.

Gimp

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"If people cannot distinguish between rape and sexual experimentation, plus the difference between fact and fiction, perhaps they should be banned from reading full stop.

In my world this whole book has been made into something it isn't, by a lets get on the bandwagon brigade that's not even read the damned thing.

Sadly, we read all 3, the first out of curiosity as to why so many were upset by the portrayal of BDSM/Fet, the other 2 just to see if we could find anything remotely accurate, grammatically correct or that could be considered literature.

I agree, in an ideal world, people would know the difference. But the influx of "Doms" and "Dommes" appearing in the community that think non-consensual kink is acceptable and normal has been horrific. Not to mention countless submissives that have had horrendous experiences at the hands of these so called Dominants, and indeed submissives that expect this to be normal behavior thanks to these badly researched books.

Now by comparison, look at the Kushiel Series, Story of O, John Norman's Gor books, the Sleeping Beauty trilogy, hell anything written for Black lace publishing (who often add a disclaimer at the beginning of novels)... all of these books are written to show and example of BDSM/Fet.. but they clearly show it's fiction... the issue with the 50 Shades books is that they have been adopted as real world fiction... a "what if", not as a work of literary fiction.

"

Sorry, you have lost me a little with this.

"why so many were upset"? the books sold millions and being made into a film. I suspect a few, who may have a vestige interest might be upset.

Which publishing house in their right mind would print a book that was grammatically incorrect. The problem with the grammar is that it is written in first position with a lot of internal thought, and sorry internal thought doesn't follow grammar rules, if it did, people wouldn't have a problem with it.

Because it doesn't follow the third person style of writing people are used to, it is automatically dismissed as rubbish.

Horrendous experience from so called Dom's, surely it is no worse then A&E on a Saturday night with people having inserted items, people will experiment.

My world is real, to me, and I haven't adopted it, so I would need proof.

Agreed there are lots of better books out there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no rape in 50 shades.

All sex is consensual and safe.

I can understand that some members of the BDSM community dislike the plot as it portrays the Dom as a highly damaged / traumatized / fucked up individual who is healed/ changed by a virginal vanilla "sub".

It is fiction but if the shoe fits...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is no rape in 50 shades.

All sex is consensual and safe.

I can understand that some members of the BDSM community dislike the plot as it portrays the Dom as a highly damaged / traumatized / fucked up individual who is healed/ changed by a virginal vanilla "sub".

It is fiction but if the shoe fits..."

Actually there is a rape scene.

But I don't believe that makes the book inherently bad or dangerous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Spend some time on the multitude of BDSM/Fet community websites, including the "big three" (FL, bcom, collarme) and you'll see I'm speaking for a large majority.

The one thing that puts me off BDSM is not this book but the attitude of some of the community. "

Some...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/02/15 17:53:42]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can anyone recommend any good books along the same lines? "

Shadowlands series by cherry Sinclair

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By *lovisMan
over a year ago

Twickenham

It's success was due partly due to the fact that Kindles were becoming more popular and so it could be read without embarrassing the reader.

My best memory of someone reading was a stunning, tall Belgian women reading it while she was standing naked in a swimming pool at a naturist resort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can anyone recommend any good books along the same lines?

Shadowlands series by cherry Sinclair"

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is no rape in 50 shades.

All sex is consensual and safe.

I can understand that some members of the BDSM community dislike the plot as it portrays the Dom as a highly damaged / traumatized / fucked up individual who is healed/ changed by a virginal vanilla "sub".

It is fiction but if the shoe fits...

Actually there is a rape scene.

But I don't believe that makes the book inherently bad or dangerous."

And where is the rape in the book?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't need a film to show me what to do as I have been in to bdsm for some time now but as with most areas of sex it suits some but not all.

I think its good that a mainstream film has been brave enough to go through with it but let's face it most people especially guys are going to see it for the soft porn element. It could open people's eyes to exploring an area they have never really thought of, but also with the way society is nowadays it's the criminality that follows which will always be a downside to these films

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is no rape in 50 shades.

All sex is consensual and safe.

I can understand that some members of the BDSM community dislike the plot as it portrays the Dom as a highly damaged / traumatized / fucked up individual who is healed/ changed by a virginal vanilla "sub".

It is fiction but if the shoe fits..."

in my limited experience some DoDoms/subs are damaged and that is what makes us have the need

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone here genuinely into bdsm? Do you think its good it's in the film and books and will give an insight to the lifestyle? Or will it just encourage people to pretend they are into it purely because Hollywood says it's cool

The books and film do not give an "insight to the lifestyle", what EL James calls BDSM is in fact RAPE and STALKING. The woman knows nothing at all about BDSM/Fet except for fiction read on fanfic pages.

Anyone who imitates these atrocities in real life is likely to either be a. arrested or b. seriously harmed, physically, mentally or emotionally.

The BDSM Community is up in arms about the books and has been since the first piece of poorly written trash hit the shelves. Many submissives have actually formed rallies, signed petitions to get the book removed from shelves and more.

As a D/s couple who have been in the BDSM/Fet Lifestyle and community for nearly 20 years each, we have found these books to be extremely harmful to the community, setting expectations of abuse, stalking and non consensual sex (aka RAPE) to people entering the community and lifestyle.

Not everyone in the BDSM community feels like you do. Please refrain from speaking for a very large and extraordinarily diverse group of people."

i agree with @wasp hunter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

And where is the rape in the book?"

Chapter 12 (after he has broken into her home because he thinks she's dumped him):

“No,” I protest, trying to kick him off.

He stops.

“If you struggle, I’ll tie your feet, too. If you make a noise, Anastasia, I will gag you. Keep quiet. Katherine is probably outside listening right now.”

Chapter 15:

Christian pushes Ana to have sex while she's d*unk, she's already scared that there will be a fight with him if she doesn't do what he says. Additionally, orgasm denial (and other BDSM practices) are generally not cool without negotiation.

Chapter 16:

When Ana is told that she has no option but to consent to TPE. Christian has already proved himself as a man who can kidnap AND break into homes. He then proceeds to beat her - which she hasn't consented to, and demean her - which she hasn't consented to. He later in Chapter 17 blames her for making him beat and rape her.

Chapter 20:

“We don’t have long. This will be quick, and it’s for me, not you. Do you understand? Don’t come or I will spank you,” he says through clenched teeth.

This one was because she said no to having sex with him.

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By *lttattoocoupleCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Read a re_iew today claiming it to build up and build up and really anti climax because the sex scene is vanilla as any movie scene.

But if you watch it and enjoy then don't see the problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

@wasp_hunter it is an interesting one.

Personally I love a good bodice ripper, but I know it is pap.

Same as 50 shades, if the book did not have a high profile no one would give a flying monkeys.

Could be argued just because 50 shades is so well known that it does contribute to rape culture just through the amount of people who read it alone?

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

It's breaking box office records so someone likes it.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I am sensing a lot of threads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bridget Jones with accessories

Another chick flick, think I'll stay in and wash my hair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is no rape in 50 shades.

All sex is consensual and safe.

I can understand that some members of the BDSM community dislike the plot as it portrays the Dom as a highly damaged / traumatized / fucked up individual who is healed/ changed by a virginal vanilla "sub".

It is fiction but if the shoe fits...

in my limited experience some DoDoms/subs are damaged and that is what makes us have the need "

Really?

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London


"I am sensing a lot of threads "

Yep!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think great if it opens up people's kink

People will maybe gravitate from fluffy plastic cuffs to munches,browsing Fet etc etc

Fet peeps are very accommodating of other peoples kinks so I'm sure newbies will be welcomed with open arms, crap book/film or not

X

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By *nne CallanWoman
over a year ago

Nothing to see here. Please move along.

Just seen the film. Very underimpressed. Plenty of soft porn but no substance. Good for the yummy mummies but kinksters take a good book to keep yourself interested

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