FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Real date vs Fab expectations

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Recently had a proper date with a guy, and at the end of the dinner he assumed we would be having sex... Cue lots of pissy and moaning texts from him as to why I didn't stay etc etc.

It got me thinking, if it was a fab meet, I would definitely have fucked him. But for some reason I didn't want to. Also, if it was a fab guy messaging me moaning, I would have told him to fuck off and blocked him... Instead I found my self apologising and stroking his ego...

Why is it so different?!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago

so near and yet so far....

My view would be that as both fab members, you both know what to expect?

Did he pay for dinner?

If he hadn't of been pissy and moans, would you of seen him again and maybe entertained him?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Recently had a proper date with a guy, and at the end of the dinner he assumed we would be having sex... Cue lots of pissy and moaning texts from him as to why I didn't stay etc etc.

It got me thinking, if it was a fab meet, I would definitely have fucked him. But for some reason I didn't want to. Also, if it was a fab guy messaging me moaning, I would have told him to fuck off and blocked him... Instead I found my self apologising and stroking his ego...

Why is it so different?! "

Do you want to see him again?

And maybe Fab makes it more necessary to delete n block because of the sheer numbers and it becomes habit a bit?

I get far more Fab requests now than when I was online dating years ago.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go on fuck him. You know you want to lol.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dating leads to commitment so you have to be sure it's right.

Fab is about light hearted NSA fun.

In my head anyway.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You both had different expectations of a 'date'.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

You don't actually say if you liked the fella on the date? Perhaps the attraction wasn't there?

If you did like him, its maybe about being sure that he likes you and wasn't just after a quick shag, and to ensure that he respects you.

I don't fuck on first dates, and extremely rarely on first fab meets... so don't really differentiate between the two - although I no longer bother dating as its not what I want just now.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dating leads to commitment so you have to be sure it's right.

Fab is about light hearted NSA fun.

In my head anyway."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a difference. Fab meet motivated by sex. Date meet motivated by relationship. It is simplistic but it's not a bad formula.

The boundaries of both are fluid and not drawn in blood but expectations should be managed accordingly.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

you shouldnt have apologised the man should have been grateful for which ever way you choose to do

once started the sending of texts id have probably sent back a reply of, a date dosnt mean you get sex at end of it unless your looking for a fwb and thats not on your profile

as goes for your moaning and bitching please dont contact me again

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The 2 are in no way related! In a fab meet you already have a pre conceived idea of what you want to do!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of my long term relationships have been with women I had sex with on the first date.

The idea of holding out to gain respect certainly never worked on me.

I measure respect in other ways.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dating leads to commitment so you have to be sure it's right.

Fab is about light hearted NSA fun.

In my head anyway."

yeah this is right I think

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do agree with you but you can't think about any kind of commitments after a first date....Do you?

She left because she liked him too much....and she was already thinking about possible commitments.....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/02/15 11:54:36]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There would be no difference for me actually. If i wanted to have sex with someone who wanted to have sex with me then it would happen. I think people think dating is holding back? Well the guy didn't but you did.

You apologised coz you did have sex? On here you decide straight away if you want sex or not and arrange that, but the date you only arranged dinner and didn't take that further even though you wanted to?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly! Plus how can you think about commitments with someone you are not sure if you're compatible with sexually?!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"you shouldnt have apologised the man should have been grateful for which ever way you choose to do

once started the sending of texts id have probably sent back a reply of, a date dosnt mean you get sex at end of it unless your looking for a fwb and thats not on your profile

as goes for your moaning and bitching please dont contact me again "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains


"Recently had a proper date with a guy, and at the end of the dinner he assumed we would be having sex... Cue lots of pissy and moaning texts from him as to why I didn't stay etc etc.

It got me thinking, if it was a fab meet, I would definitely have fucked him. But for some reason I didn't want to. Also, if it was a fab guy messaging me moaning, I would have told him to fuck off and blocked him... Instead I found my self apologising and stroking his ego...

Why is it so different?! "

Not that I go on dates but if I do I would be exactly the same! I would want dating to be about the build up and the excitement wondering whether it could be 2nd 3rd or 4th date before we got naked!

Fab we both/all know why we are there, so wouldn't be presumptuous to expect sex on a first meet!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" I do agree with you but you can't think about any kind of commitments after a first date....Do you?

She left because she liked him too much....and she was already thinking about possible commitments..... "

It didn't really occur to me he would want sex to be honest which is bizzare considering the other weekend I was involved in an orgy lol sometimes I think I live two lives lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Whether it's first vanilla dates or more often than not fab meets .... It's a social with me, might just be me... I have to feel some connection before I can get naked with someone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dating leads to commitment so you have to be sure it's right.

Fab is about light hearted NSA fun.

In my head anyway. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a fab social meet which could lead to fun is just that, a meet and greet and to see if anything is there to end up in bed

but a Vanilla date is more than the above, its a date to see if you want to date get to know them with a possible relationship in time

personally if i was going on a date (vanilla) i wouldn't jump into bed with them on 1st date

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

he made you think?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I'm the same I wouldn't sleep with a bloke on a first vanilla date. I was speaking to a guy that I met on a dating site about normal stuff and out of the blue he texts do I like to be tied up and my hair pulled. I sat there and thought WTF lol.

Dating is hard work at times you don't know what to do right or is it the wrong thing to do.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

A friend of mine has had loads of first date fucks with POF girls, he's never been the only one instagating it (whatever that word is)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"A friend of mine has had loads of first date fucks with POF girls, he's never been the only one instagating it (whatever that word is)"

I agree women can be worse than men

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"A friend of mine has had loads of first date fucks with POF girls, he's never been the only one instagating it (whatever that word is)

I agree women can be worse than men "

The poor sod often feels used

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

No difference for me I meet folk for a laugh if sex happens it happens

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"There is a difference. Fab meet motivated by sex. Date meet motivated by relationship. It is simplistic but it's not a bad formula.

The boundaries of both are fluid and not drawn in blood but expectations should be managed accordingly.

"

Yes, I agree there's a difference even though in my youth most of my relationships started by going to bed - because I never dated per se, I just started relationships with people I already knew and liked!

But OP I know exactly what you mean - it's about expectation. So many men on dating sites are trying to 'get sex' by deception because they never actually wanted a relationship in the first place, so 'not going there' s them out and makes sure you are not deceived.

If I want 'one off' sex it's damn well going to be my decision, not because I've been conned into it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A friend of mine has had loads of first date fucks with POF girls, he's never been the only one instagating it (whatever that word is)

I agree women can be worse than men

The poor sod often feels used "

Hahahaha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There is a difference. Fab meet motivated by sex. Date meet motivated by relationship. It is simplistic but it's not a bad formula.

The boundaries of both are fluid and not drawn in blood but expectations should be managed accordingly.

Yes, I agree there's a difference even though in my youth most of my relationships started by going to bed - because I never dated per se, I just started relationships with people I already knew and liked!

But OP I know exactly what you mean - it's about expectation. So many men on dating sites are trying to 'get sex' by deception because they never actually wanted a relationship in the first place, so 'not going there' s them out and makes sure you are not deceived.

If I want 'one off' sex it's damn well going to be my decision, not because I've been conned into it."

perfectly put.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top