Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to The Lounge |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Can someone explain this whole cuckolding thing to me? To me it seems like a dysfunction where one partner feels he cannot sexually satisfy the other, and so makes the idea of someone else doing it something from which their own sexual satisfaction is ultimately gained. From a female perspective, how can you enjoy the humiliation,ridicule, and emasculation of a loved one? I have been asked several times to participate in this type of fantasy, but am loathe to be involved in what appears to be another's emotional torment. Am I looking at this the wrong way??" In a word yes you are....someone else will explain I am sure, off to have a shower.  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Can someone explain this whole cuckolding thing to me? To me it seems like a dysfunction where one partner feels he cannot sexually satisfy the other, and so makes the idea of someone else doing it something from which their own sexual satisfaction is ultimately gained. From a female perspective, how can you enjoy the humiliation,ridicule, and emasculation of a loved one? I have been asked several times to participate in this type of fantasy, but am loathe to be involved in what appears to be another's emotional torment. Am I looking at this the wrong way??" 
Because cuckolds in swinging circles are a totally different animal to the cuckold of past times. The husband whose wife is unfaithful. They are self imposed cucks. Some people enjoy extreme pain and bondage. Some enjoy watersports, and more extreme toilet/body waste fun. I don't think it is true humiliation,but mock scenarios. Each to their own.  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I don't understand why someone gets their rocks off by being whipped, but I would never call it dysfunctional." I said it 'seems' dysfunctional, and I'm asking for a view from those who do partake. How else can we learn? I am a strong believer of freedom of choice, and have no qualms with others finding sexual fulfilment in whatever way they deem fit. However when I am asked to be involved in such things, I believe endeavouring to learn more, and form a reasoned opinion on the matter is essential. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I don't understand why someone gets their rocks off by being whipped, but I would never call it dysfunctional. I said it 'seems' dysfunctional, and I'm asking for a view from those who do partake. How else can we learn? I am a strong believer of freedom of choice, and have no qualms with others finding sexual fulfilment in whatever way they deem fit. However when I am asked to be involved in such things, I believe endeavouring to learn more, and form a reasoned opinion on the matter is essential. " Most people would think being on a swingers site is dysfunctional. Different strokes etc. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You could have done the research yourself on here. There are loads of historic threads. More interesting, though, is the 'tone' you adopt in the structure of the question. You don't 'understand' it and don't want to 'participate'. No need for the post then if your mind is made up. In what way would greater 'explanation' change it? Or, is the thread a way of expressing disapproval for choices you don't make but others do? Your age comes through in this one, sorry." Tone can be easily misconstrued through writing. I could have spent a few hours researching the psychology behind it sure, but I see far more value in a live discussion. I have no problem with people doing it if they so choose. I am merely being honest and expressing how I see the practice, and asking others to enlighten me if necessary. I seem to be getting attacked by the PC brigade though oh well. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Can someone explain this whole cuckolding thing to me? To me it seems like a dysfunction where one partner feels he cannot sexually satisfy the other, and so makes the idea of someone else doing it something from which their own sexual satisfaction is ultimately gained. From a female perspective, how can you enjoy the humiliation,ridicule, and emasculation of a loved one? I have been asked several times to participate in this type of fantasy, but am loathe to be involved in what appears to be another's emotional torment. Am I looking at this the wrong way??" Your profile states you will meet couples. If you pleasure another mans lady, you are in effect making him a cuckold. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You could have done the research yourself on here. There are loads of historic threads. More interesting, though, is the 'tone' you adopt in the structure of the question. You don't 'understand' it and don't want to 'participate'. No need for the post then if your mind is made up. In what way would greater 'explanation' change it? Or, is the thread a way of expressing disapproval for choices you don't make but others do? Your age comes through in this one, sorry. Tone can be easily misconstrued through writing. I could have spent a few hours researching the psychology behind it sure, but I see far more value in a live discussion. I have no problem with people doing it if they so choose. I am merely being honest and expressing how I see the practice, and asking others to enlighten me if necessary. I seem to be getting attacked by the PC brigade though oh well. " On the contrary, your 'tone' comes through perfectly. By saying it 'seems' dysfunctional to you pretty much means you think it is. Similarly, you're loathe to participate. Accept you don't get it and in any case don't want to indulge so why the need for a thread about it? Would a straight guy post on a gay thread that he didn't get it and wanted them to explain their sexual preferences? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Can someone explain this whole cuckolding thing to me? Your profile states you will meet couples. If you pleasure another mans lady, you are in effect making him a cuckold." I think a mutually pleasurable scenario where a third party is involved is totally different from cuckolding. Again I may well be mistaken. I am referring to adverts such as come fuck me while I insult my partner and they have to watch and not be involved. If my girlfriend wanted me to bring other girls round and fuck them in front of her while calling her an ugly fat slag, I wouldn't just do it. I would try and determine if there were underlying factors causing that behaviour. If not then sure I'd do it if she wanted. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Can someone explain this whole cuckolding thing to me? Your profile states you will meet couples. If you pleasure another mans lady, you are in effect making him a cuckold. I think a mutually pleasurable scenario where a third party is involved is totally different from cuckolding. Again I may well be mistaken. I am referring to adverts such as come fuck me while I insult my partner and they have to watch and not be involved. If my girlfriend wanted me to bring other girls round and fuck them in front of her while calling her an ugly fat slag, I wouldn't just do it. I would try and determine if there were underlying factors causing that behaviour. If not then sure I'd do it if she wanted." But the whole point is fulfilling someone's sexual preferences, fantasies and desires. If a guy enjoys his wife calling him a useless wimp, whilst being fucked by another guy, then what is the problem ? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" On the contrary, your 'tone' comes through perfectly. By saying it 'seems' dysfunctional to you pretty much means you think it is. Similarly, you're loathe to participate. Accept you don't get it and in any case don't want to indulge so why the need for a thread about it? Would a straight guy post on a gay thread that he didn't get it and wanted them to explain their sexual preferences? " I'm not sure why you keep putting tone in quotation marks? Tone is notoriously difficult to portray through text. I'm sorry if you have misconstrued mine (You could read that as sincere or sarcastic, up to you). The only reason I don't want to indulge currently is that from my current viewpoint it seems I would be taking advantage of another. However as previously stated I welcome enlightenment and discussion. Views change and evolve, but only through discussion. Not even sure what the gay thing has to do with anything. I have clearly got your back up and for that I am sorry, I don't want an argument. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" But the whole point is fulfilling someone's sexual preferences, fantasies and desires. If a guy enjoys his wife calling him a useless wimp, whilst being fucked by another guy, then what is the problem ?" There is no problem. I am trying to decide for myself if I am taking advantage of another's insecurities which have manifested themselves sexually (which is how it currently seems) or wether it is merely a fun kink. If it is indeed the former I am not judging anyone who partakes, but do not want to be implicit. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" On the contrary, your 'tone' comes through perfectly. By saying it 'seems' dysfunctional to you pretty much means you think it is. Similarly, you're loathe to participate. Accept you don't get it and in any case don't want to indulge so why the need for a thread about it? Would a straight guy post on a gay thread that he didn't get it and wanted them to explain their sexual preferences? I'm not sure why you keep putting tone in quotation marks? Tone is notoriously difficult to portray through text. I'm sorry if you have misconstrued mine (You could read that as sincere or sarcastic, up to you). The only reason I don't want to indulge currently is that from my current viewpoint it seems I would be taking advantage of another. However as previously stated I welcome enlightenment and discussion. Views change and evolve, but only through discussion. Not even sure what the gay thing has to do with anything. I have clearly got your back up and for that I am sorry, I don't want an argument. " OP, if you really are inviting debate, and you agree that the tone of your post may have been somewhat open to misunderstanding (words such as "loathe" do tend to be perceived as negative), do feel free to reword your question. I fear that a failure to do so may lead to further negativity in response. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have just pitched the whole thing very badly. Given your stance, as indicated by your choice of phrases, why would anyone want to waste their time trying to enlighten you when it's obvious where you're coming from? Furthermore, it does come across as a dig at those who like cuck play." Fair points. I apologise, I was hoping for a removed and objective discussion on the topic. However it is easy to see in the way I have phrased my question how it can evoke an emotional response. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" But the whole point is fulfilling someone's sexual preferences, fantasies and desires. If a guy enjoys his wife calling him a useless wimp, whilst being fucked by another guy, then what is the problem ? There is no problem. I am trying to decide for myself if I am taking advantage of another's insecurities which have manifested themselves sexually (which is how it currently seems) or wether it is merely a fun kink. If it is indeed the former I am not judging anyone who partakes, but do not want to be implicit. " It is not something that can be explained to any degree that will make you understand or accept. Its like trying to explain to a person that has never smoked, what is pleasurable about it. You can't ! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have just pitched the whole thing very badly. Given your stance, as indicated by your choice of phrases, why would anyone want to waste their time trying to enlighten you when it's obvious where you're coming from? Furthermore, it does come across as a dig at those who like cuck play. Fair points. I apologise, I was hoping for a removed and objective discussion on the topic. However it is easy to see in the way I have phrased my question how it can evoke an emotional response. " No probs | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" It is not something that can be explained to any degree that will make you understand or accept. Its like trying to explain to a person that has never smoked, what is pleasurable about it. You can't !" I am not questioning the pleasure derived from it, but just want opinions and incite into the morality of being the 'bull'. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Google the psychology of cuckolding. From a female perspective i feel like being given permission to fuck other people because it turns a guy on shows a high level of trust, even if the guy feels inadequate and has mentally turned sex into something that suits him and his wife better. Either way he loves his wife and wants her to be happy and is likely to get pleasure out of what he's doing. Submissives enjoy humiliation, it takes away some mental responsibilities from them and they enjoy that. " Points well made, but I guess what I am questioning is should I be re enforcing that state of mind in the guy. Should we not be seeking to provide remedy to that which is making him feel inadequate in the first place. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Google the psychology of cuckolding. From a female perspective i feel like being given permission to fuck other people because it turns a guy on shows a high level of trust, even if the guy feels inadequate and has mentally turned sex into something that suits him and his wife better. Either way he loves his wife and wants her to be happy and is likely to get pleasure out of what he's doing. Submissives enjoy humiliation, it takes away some mental responsibilities from them and they enjoy that. Points well made, but I guess what I am questioning is should I be re enforcing that state of mind in the guy. Should we not be seeking to provide remedy to that which is making him feel inadequate in the first place. " Up to you? If you won't enjoy debasing another person then i really feel it isn't for you. Basically the guy has turned something negative into a positive and enjoys it. It is mostly men who initiate cuckolding into a relationship anyway so it's not like it's forced onto them, they liked the idea of it. You just don't understand that some people get pleasure from being humiliated because you don't get pleasure from that, it's likely you get pleasure from compliments and positive reinforcement. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Google the psychology of cuckolding. From a female perspective i feel like being given permission to fuck other people because it turns a guy on shows a high level of trust, even if the guy feels inadequate and has mentally turned sex into something that suits him and his wife better. Either way he loves his wife and wants her to be happy and is likely to get pleasure out of what he's doing. Submissives enjoy humiliation, it takes away some mental responsibilities from them and they enjoy that. Points well made, but I guess what I am questioning is should I be re enforcing that state of mind in the guy. Should we not be seeking to provide remedy to that which is making him feel inadequate in the first place. " Why are you presuming the cuckold or his wife want to be 'cured'. It may be a sexual deviation but so what ? Its like suggesting a gay person needs help, or a cure. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Google the psychology of cuckolding. Why are you presuming the cuckold or his wife want to be 'cured'. It may be a sexual deviation but so what ? Its like suggesting a gay person needs help, or a cure." I'm not presuming anything. Totally different from a gay person. A gay person should be happy with who they are, and sexual preference is not something which can or needs to be 'cured'. However a mental state leading to feelings of inadequacy can be addressed, and may well lead to an overall better expression of sexuality (or maybe not, this is what I am inviting discussion over). | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Up to you? If you won't enjoy debasing another person then i really feel it isn't for you. Basically the guy has turned something negative into a positive and enjoys it. It is mostly men who initiate cuckolding into a relationship anyway so it's not like it's forced onto them, they liked the idea of it. You just don't understand that some people get pleasure from being humiliated because you don't get pleasure from that, it's likely you get pleasure from compliments and positive reinforcement." Interesting thoughts, I appreciate the insight. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Google the psychology of cuckolding. Why are you presuming the cuckold or his wife want to be 'cured'. It may be a sexual deviation but so what ? Its like suggesting a gay person needs help, or a cure. I'm not presuming anything. Totally different from a gay person. A gay person should be happy with who they are, and sexual preference is not something which can or needs to be 'cured'. However a mental state leading to feelings of inadequacy can be addressed, and may well lead to an overall better expression of sexuality (or maybe not, this is what I am inviting discussion over). " Whose to say most cucks aren't totally OK with their lifestyle choices ? Some people may think that a young single man on a swingers site, is not a healthy lifestyle choice, but I suspect you don't feel the need to be analysed ? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"OP. The saying is you cannot put an old head on young shoulders. In 25 years time you may think differently. For the time being stop trying to control the scenarios that you think people may or may not want. You have been lucky enough perhaps to have been cordially invited to share a husband and wifes bed perhaps. Stop trying to think what they may or may not want all the time. Suss the situation out and go with the flow. Wish I was 24 again knowing what I know now." Good advice. Due to my youthful naivety I'm just looking for a bit of help in sussing this particular situation out. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Up to you? If you won't enjoy debasing another person then i really feel it isn't for you. Basically the guy has turned something negative into a positive and enjoys it. It is mostly men who initiate cuckolding into a relationship anyway so it's not like it's forced onto them, they liked the idea of it. You just don't understand that some people get pleasure from being humiliated because you don't get pleasure from that, it's likely you get pleasure from compliments and positive reinforcement. Interesting thoughts, I appreciate the insight. " No problem, i had trouble understanding it myself when i first got asked, and did a lot of talking with the guy to try to understand. I still don't 'get' why people enjoy humiliation, because i don't enjoy it myself, but i do understand psychology. I do understand how the way people process their thoughts can work, and that sometimes people find a way of life that suits them. Like i already said submissives enjoy the mental relief that humiliation brings, it's doing something for them right there, they also enjoy other peoples pleasure and would do anything to make someone they love happy- nobody should ever abuse that. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Whose to say most cucks aren't totally OK with their lifestyle choices ? Some people may think that a young single man on a swingers site, is not a healthy lifestyle choice, but I suspect you don't feel the need to be analysed ?" On the contrary I welcome discussion around the subject! The trade of ideas and opinions is what life is all about. I am not questioning that cucks are ok with their lifestyle, but as stated before looking for discussion in order to make a decision as to whether in ok with being involved. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Sorry am tired and gonna go to sleep in a minute... Nobody should ever abuse someone elses kindness and loving, so yeah i can understand why you don't want to add to that and feel uncomfortable with the situation, but they're happy with the situation themselves and it works for them. I love sub guys, trust me they get back what they give." Hehe that beauty sleeps important. Thanks for your input anyway, genuinely helpful. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"OP, try explaining why you enjoy SM, spanking and anal. You just do, right? Some people do and some people see no attraction in those activities at all. My favourite colour is blue and I like chocolate bourbons." I'm not asking people why they enjoy it. I'm asking if it is likely that their enjoyment is caused by underlying issues with inferiority and self deprecation, which if addressed could enhance their overall sexual satisfaction. If that is indeed the case (and I am not claiming it necessarily is), then I feel it would be wrong to reinforce those feelings. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"OP, try explaining why you enjoy SM, spanking and anal. You just do, right? Some people do and some people see no attraction in those activities at all. My favourite colour is blue and I like chocolate bourbons." Oh my god. I can not believe you just said that.... you like chocolate bourbons!! lol | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Whose to say most cucks aren't totally OK with their lifestyle choices ? Some people may think that a young single man on a swingers site, is not a healthy lifestyle choice, but I suspect you don't feel the need to be analysed ? On the contrary I welcome discussion around the subject! The trade of ideas and opinions is what life is all about. I am not questioning that cucks are ok with their lifestyle, but as stated before looking for discussion in order to make a decision as to whether in ok with being involved. " good lad for asking i dnt think youve understood any better yet so right turn... A great deal of pleasure is gained (hopefully by all) from situations like cuckold. You have to try look at it as not inadeqaute or a pyshological problem but immense pleasure for the couple concerned. Your part in it is to be a actor the better you are the more fun can be had. Experience is key id suggest you take up any more offers and start to learn asap. You sound like a good lad learn by doing is best advice i can give youll only know if you can perform by taking to the stage  good luck | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I'm asking if it is likely that their enjoyment is caused by underlying issues with inferiority and self deprecation, " No, its not, its just enjoyable. No underlying issues, just enjoyment. Question answered. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" good lad for asking i dnt think youve understood any better yet so right turn... A great deal of pleasure is gained (hopefully by all) from situations like cuckold. You have to try look at it as not inadeqaute or a pyshological problem but immense pleasure for the couple concerned. Your part in it is to be a actor the better you are the more fun can be had. Experience is key id suggest you take up any more offers and start to learn asap. You sound like a good lad learn by doing is best advice i can give youll only know if you can perform by taking to the stage good luck"Thanks for the advice and the perspective. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I'm asking if it is likely that their enjoyment is caused by underlying issues with inferiority and self deprecation, No, its not, its just enjoyable. No underlying issues, just enjoyment. Question answered." Thank you for your opinion. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"OP, try explaining why you enjoy SM, spanking and anal. You just do, right? Some people do and some people see no attraction in those activities at all. My favourite colour is blue and I like chocolate bourbons. Oh my god. I can not believe you just said that.... you like chocolate bourbons!! lol "And custard creams. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Google the psychology of cuckolding. Why are you presuming the cuckold or his wife want to be 'cured'. It may be a sexual deviation but so what ? Its like suggesting a gay person needs help, or a cure. I'm not presuming anything. Totally different from a gay person. A gay person should be happy with who they are, and sexual preference is not something which can or needs to be 'cured'. However a mental state leading to feelings of inadequacy can be addressed, and may well lead to an overall better expression of sexuality (or maybe not, this is what I am inviting discussion over). " Aren't you making the presumabtion here that cuckolding isn't a sexual preference? There are many ways to be cuckolded, by that very point, it shows preferences? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"OP, try explaining why you enjoy SM, spanking and anal. You just do, right? Some people do and some people see no attraction in those activities at all. My favourite colour is blue and I like chocolate bourbons. Oh my god. I can not believe you just said that.... you like chocolate bourbons!! lol
And custard creams."Oh now you have gone too far!!! Lol | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Aren't you making the presumabtion here that cuckolding isn't a sexual preference? There are many ways to be cuckolded, by that very point, it shows preferences? " It most certainly is a sexual preference. However I am questioning wether or not there are underlying issues behind that particular preference, and wether or not the holder of that preference would be able to have more fulfilling sexual expression if those issues were addressed. I would say it was more of an assumption than a presumption as well  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" It is not something that can be explained to any degree that will make you understand or accept. Its like trying to explain to a person that has never smoked, what is pleasurable about it. You can't ! I am not questioning the pleasure derived from it, but just want opinions and incite into the morality of being the 'bull'. " Ok. I will answer from the perspective of an experienced bull as to my morality  in this situation.
All three people involced derive pleasure.
I, as the 'bull' (tbh not a word I like...but the correct terminology), derive pleasure from fucking the hot wife. She derives pleasure from the same and from humiliating her cuck (normally verbally or simply by the act). It does not, as shag seems to think, have to involve creampie.....unsafe sex is not normally on the agenda with people who may not have even met before!.
The cuck derives pleasure from being humiliated or restrained in some way. It is a win/win (sorry) situation.
The biggest thing...which I think you (OP) have misunderstood is that it is ALWAYS the couple who are in charge, set the ground rules and call the shots. Again a big error on the part of inexperienced/wannabe bulls is that they should be in charge....noooooo! So wrong!
Hope this clears things a little ? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Aren't you making the presumabtion here that cuckolding isn't a sexual preference? There are many ways to be cuckolded, by that very point, it shows preferences? It most certainly is a sexual preference. However I am questioning wether or not there are underlying issues behind that particular preference, and wether or not the holder of that preference would be able to have more fulfilling sexual expression if those issues were addressed. I would say it was more of an assumption than a presumption as well "Your question has already been answered there is NO underlying issues, it's just role play. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Aren't you making the presumabtion here that cuckolding isn't a sexual preference? There are many ways to be cuckolded, by that very point, it shows preferences? It most certainly is a sexual preference. However I am questioning wether or not there are underlying issues behind that particular preference, and wether or not the holder of that preference would be able to have more fulfilling sexual expression if those issues were addressed. I would say it was more of an assumption than a presumption as well "Of course there are issues some where along the way that have made this kink, just like any other kink or fetish Does that make it wrong? Are you suggesting that anyone with any type of fetish should address any or all issues that may have lead them to a sexual preference they enjoy?? Each and every one of us on this site has, by the societal rules that are current, stepped outside of what is considered 'normal sexual behaviour ' and just by being here would be cited as sexually perverse by mainstream society What issues do you need to address that have you on a swingers site? would you have more fulfilling sexual experiences if you addressed the underlying issues that have you on what by many is considered a dysfunctional, harmful website?  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Forum search cuckolding and you will find plenty of reading This is off a thread a while back that I posted ; By definition, a cuckold is the “husband of an adulteress.” The phenomenon itself is nothing new (see the works of Shakespeare or Chaucer). It might even be considered universal, since dozens of languages have a term that refers to it. Today’s cuckolding fetish, however, takes the deception and betrayal out of cheating—both partners are in on the secret. The act of cuckolding can often be filed under the female domination tab, There are three types of cuckolded men: the submissive, forced bisexual, and the voyeurs. “Submissives are into humiliation,” King says. “They fantasize about being degraded and humiliated by a beautiful woman. Second, you have guys who want to be pushed into exploring their darkest fantasies: forced bisexuality. They want to be pushed by their mistress into doing things they would never do, like worshipping another man. Then lastly, we have voyeurs, who just enjoy watching their lover get pleasured by another man. The above is taken from a recent article with DVD producer and director Glenn King there is no 'one' way of cuckolding , each couple will have there own version that is right for them Trying to annaylise it is like asking how long is a piece of string lol " So well said....its just more labels, what ever is consensual and makes you feel good at any given time is just fine. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Sorry am tired and gonna go to sleep in a minute... Nobody should ever abuse someone elses kindness and loving, so yeah i can understand why you don't want to add to that and feel uncomfortable with the situation, but they're happy with the situation themselves and it works for them. I love sub guys, trust me they get back what they give. Hehe that beauty sleeps important. Thanks for your input anyway, genuinely helpful. " You're welcome. I do think your question holds a valid point. Some people will be unhappy with the situation and going along with it to keep their partner happy so they don't leave them. You just have to trust the couple genuinely know what they're doing and are into it. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Of course there are issues some where along the way that have made this kink, just like any other kink or fetish Does that make it wrong? Are you suggesting that anyone with any type of fetish should address any or all issues that may have lead them to a sexual preference they enjoy?? Each and every one of us on this site has, by the societal rules that are current, stepped outside of what is considered 'normal sexual behaviour ' and just by being here would be cited as sexually perverse by mainstream society What issues do you need to address that have you on a swingers site? would you have more fulfilling sexual experiences if you addressed the underlying issues that have you on what by many is considered a dysfunctional, harmful website? "Ok, well some people are saying there are no hidden issues, it's just role-play while others such as yourself are suggesting there are. I'm just trying to form my own opinion based on a reasoned understanding of the situation, and make an informed decision over wether it is something I want to be involved in. That is my prerogative. No it doesn't make it wrong, I'm not sure why people are so vehemently trying to put words in my mouth. I am not saying anyone with a fetish should address it, unless the addressing of any underlying problems could in fact allow them to experience greater pleasure. In that case then yes that is exactly what I am saying. I don't know, what issues do you think I need to address?? Please educate me, if you think I can have more fulfilling experiences then yes I'm all ears!!! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Can someone explain this whole cuckolding thing to me? Your profile states you will meet couples. If you pleasure another mans lady, you are in effect making him a cuckold. I think a mutually pleasurable scenario where a third party is involved is totally different from cuckolding. Again I may well be mistaken. I am referring to adverts such as come fuck me while I insult my partner and they have to watch and not be involved. If my girlfriend wanted me to bring other girls round and fuck them in front of her while calling her an ugly fat slag, I wouldn't just do it. I would try and determine if there were underlying factors causing that behaviour. If not then sure I'd do it if she wanted." yes you are looking at it totally the wrong way and really have no clue, cuckolding is a very wide spectrum of things, some people go as far as to live there life as cuckold, but to many it is agreed role play and what happens depends entirely on those involved, cuckolding does not have to be humiliating or forced or restrained or abusing, it starts at very simply watching your wife getting fucked, so as someone told you, if you go round and fuck someones wife while they watch, you are making them cuckold, this thread is a perfect example of why you should understand something before going into it. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Nobody should ever abuse someone elses kindness and loving, so yeah i can understand why you don't want to add to that and feel uncomfortable with the situation, but they're happy with the situation themselves and it works for them. I love sub guys, trust me they get back what they give. Hehe that beauty sleeps important. Thanks for your input anyway, genuinely helpful. You're welcome. I do think your question holds a valid point. Some people will be unhappy with the situation and going along with it to keep their partner happy so they don't leave them. You just have to trust the couple genuinely know what they're doing and are into it." Glad someone understands the crux of what i'm asking. Most seem to just be getting defensive, which suggests my initial suspicions may well have been correct. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"each to their own,women do it too,  "Not many, that's why it appears to have some societal influence which may be pervasive. I agree each to their own, I'm not judging. I feel I am entitled to make my own mind up on my own participation in the practice though. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" yes you are looking at it totally the wrong way and really have no clue, cuckolding is a very wide spectrum of things, some people go as far as to live there life as cuckold, but to many it is agreed role play and what happens depends entirely on those involved, cuckolding does not have to be humiliating or forced or restrained or abusing, it starts at very simply watching your wife getting fucked, so as someone told you, if you go round and fuck someones wife while they watch, you are making them cuckold, this thread is a perfect example of why you should understand something before going into it." How can I learn without asking? Understanding is a process. What would be the point in questioning something I already understand? You are completely wrong to try and stifle discussion! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Glad someone understands the crux of what i'm asking. Most seem to just be getting defensive, which suggests my initial suspicions may well have been correct. " Many people just reply to topics with no intention of being helpful to the OP. They just wanna give their opinion, or they don't understand what you said because their brain interpreted it differently. It's also possible they don't actually understand the topic but want to be helpful in some way. I would have gone into way more detail last night if i hadn't been tired. Personally, i do think most guys are into it and enjoy it. But, in the same way as women who have cheating husbands but turn a blind eye and allow it, so do some men. I genuinely don't think a guy that wasn't into it would sit there and watch, but he would probably let her go and sleep with other guys and pretend it's not happening. People are fairly complicated, they think they know what they're doing and how to handle things but they often don't until they have experience of it. If a guy enjoys masochism there probably is some underlying psychological factor involved, but he's dealing with it in a way that he can cope with. If he's turned psychological pain into an enjoyable experience then who are we to judge? And that is what most people wanted to say, but it was completely irrelevant to the topic and your question. I think if anyone has relationship problems and are bringing others into that then that's not on and yes i would 100% not want to be involved in that, i'm not here to counsel anyone, i'm here for my own enjoyment and if that adds to others enjoyment then brilliant. I suspect you are too, and that's why you had the question. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" yes you are looking at it totally the wrong way and really have no clue, cuckolding is a very wide spectrum of things, some people go as far as to live there life as cuckold, but to many it is agreed role play and what happens depends entirely on those involved, cuckolding does not have to be humiliating or forced or restrained or abusing, it starts at very simply watching your wife getting fucked, so as someone told you, if you go round and fuck someones wife while they watch, you are making them cuckold, this thread is a perfect example of why you should understand something before going into it. How can I learn without asking? Understanding is a process. What would be the point in questioning something I already understand? You are completely wrong to try and stifle discussion!" | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Nobody should ever abuse someone elses kindness and loving, so yeah i can understand why you don't want to add to that and feel uncomfortable with the situation, but they're happy with the situation themselves and it works for them. I love sub guys, trust me they get back what they give. Hehe that beauty sleeps important. Thanks for your input anyway, genuinely helpful. You're welcome. I do think your question holds a valid point. Some people will be unhappy with the situation and going along with it to keep their partner happy so they don't leave them. You just have to trust the couple genuinely know what they're doing and are into it. Glad someone understands the crux of what i'm asking. Most seem to just be getting defensive, which suggests my initial suspicions may well have been correct. " There you go again 'initial suspicions' if you think posters are defensive then what do you expect? Whether you intend it or not it comes across as judgemental, and on a swingers site that's a position certain to cause a reaction. Maybe if you looked at your own profile. 'Nice normal person! looking for similar!' looking for Tv/Ts could well be construed by those wishing to judge on sexual preferences as a dysfunctional contradiction. would you not defend your sexual preferences? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Sorry just coming into this discussion late... My question back to the OP is why do you feel you need to understand cuckolding other than most bulls like to know what the couple like to do/hear? That's not be being defensive, my point is maybe to truly understand the genre you must really be in a cuckold relationship? Cuckold can be extremely fun but it can be a real challenge for the couple to both fully understand their desires/needs etc from it. Most cuckold couples it is the male who brings the fantasy to his wife/gf for it to escalate to the stage they actually do the act. I would suggest a percentage of the cucks do this yes for maybe a wee fear of losing his wife but a lot of that is in his own mind as he sets her on a pedestal and is concerned that sexually he is unable to give her what he thinks she needs. A number of hot wives start out with no real desire to fuck other men BUT as time goes on they get use to the idea and in some cases actually love the fact they can and do... When a hot wife fully accepts her role she makes no secret of her desire to fuck someone she fancies even if her cuck has concerns over that male... I would hasten to add that despite this fact most hot wives totally love their cuck hubbies and would never allow a bull to come between that love however I am sure some cucks will struggle to fully accept that. Ultimately cuckold works for most couples in this kind of relationship, it is honesty and transparency that ensures that is the case! As a potential bull my advice would be don't get hung-up on it and enjoy cuckold... if your going to analyse every couple you meet then your never going to understand what drives them all... enjoy the ride(s) is my advice because one day you will wake-up too old to be anyone's bull or potentially you will find yourself sitting with your wife and asking her if she fancies the idea of cucking you! "An outstanding reply & we feel certainly covers a great many points, we'd also suggest that if you find yourself being asked to fulfill this role, it's a privilege and one for which you should play along with and enjoy within your own limitations | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Points well made, but I guess what I am questioning is should I be re enforcing that state of mind in the guy. Should we not be seeking to provide remedy to that which is making him feel inadequate in the first place. " Different people take their cuckolding in different directions. For example I have a partner who I am in a master/slave relationship with. I cuck him with both men and women. I *do not* cuck him because I feel he is sexually inadequate. I cuck him because it reinforces the power exchange dynamic between him and myself. Also because I like watching men play with other men, so that tends to happen too. I'd never tell him that he was inadequate in any way, and any bull that suggested that would be out of the bedroom pretty quick. If you like the idea then you might want to search out people more like me that do cuck due to power exchange, rather than the more common and traditional format. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" There you go again 'initial suspicions' if you think posters are defensive then what do you expect? Whether you intend it or not it comes across as judgemental, and on a swingers site that's a position certain to cause a reaction. Maybe if you looked at your own profile. 'Nice normal person! looking for similar!' looking for Tv/Ts could well be construed by those wishing to judge on sexual preferences as a dysfunctional contradiction. would you not defend your sexual preferences?" This is getting tiresome now. I have explained myself multiple times. I am not judging anyone, merely invited incite and discussion around a topic in order for me to make my own mind up. If it offends you don't read/post. No need to try and shame me about my own sexual preferences. If I must explain this particular facet of my profile to you non-judgemental (hypocrites?) people then ok. I do not find men or men in dresses attractive, good on those who do, I don't. The reason I have tv/ts category is, you know, because I'm a nice normal guy. I'm not closed minded enough to turn someone down who looks female and is attractive to me, because of the way they were born. Interestingly I have received several inboxes on this topic from people with opposing views to what has generally been portrayed so far in this thread. Is it not a shame that people are scared of expressing ideas and opinion because they are scared the thought police will jump down their throats? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Sorry just coming into this discussion late... My question back to the OP is why do you feel you need to understand cuckolding other than most bulls like to know what the couple like to do/hear? That's not be being defensive, my point is maybe to truly understand the genre you must really be in a cuckold relationship? Cuckold can be extremely fun but it can be a real challenge for the couple to both fully understand their desires/needs etc from it. Most cuckold couples it is the male who brings the fantasy to his wife/gf for it to escalate to the stage they actually do the act. I would suggest a percentage of the cucks do this yes for maybe a wee fear of losing his wife but a lot of that is in his own mind as he sets her on a pedestal and is concerned that sexually he is unable to give her what he thinks she needs. A number of hot wives start out with no real desire to fuck other men BUT as time goes on they get use to the idea and in some cases actually love the fact they can and do... When a hot wife fully accepts her role she makes no secret of her desire to fuck someone she fancies even if her cuck has concerns over that male... I would hasten to add that despite this fact most hot wives totally love their cuck hubbies and would never allow a bull to come between that love however I am sure some cucks will struggle to fully accept that. Ultimately cuckold works for most couples in this kind of relationship, it is honesty and transparency that ensures that is the case! As a potential bull my advice would be don't get hung-up on it and enjoy cuckold... if your going to analyse every couple you meet then your never going to understand what drives them all... enjoy the ride(s) is my advice because one day you will wake-up too old to be anyone's bull or potentially you will find yourself sitting with your wife and asking her if she fancies the idea of cucking you! "Great post. Provides some insight, reasoned argument and bit of advice. Thanks. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" There you go again 'initial suspicions' if you think posters are defensive then what do you expect? Whether you intend it or not it comes across as judgemental, and on a swingers site that's a position certain to cause a reaction. Maybe if you looked at your own profile. 'Nice normal person! looking for similar!' looking for Tv/Ts could well be construed by those wishing to judge on sexual preferences as a dysfunctional contradiction. would you not defend your sexual preferences? This is getting tiresome now. I have explained myself multiple times. I am not judging anyone, merely invited incite and discussion around a topic in order for me to make my own mind up. If it offends you don't read/post. No need to try and shame me about my own sexual preferences. If I must explain this particular facet of my profile to you non-judgemental (hypocrites?) people then ok. I do not find men or men in dresses attractive, good on those who do, I don't. The reason I have tv/ts category is, you know, because I'm a nice normal guy. I'm not closed minded enough to turn someone down who looks female and is attractive to me, because of the way they were born. Interestingly I have received several inboxes on this topic from people with opposing views to what has generally been portrayed so far in this thread. Is it not a shame that people are scared of expressing ideas and opinion because they are scared the thought police will jump down their throats? " Sadly there are a great many 'thought police' on this site. Glass houses and stones springs to mind for most and when you post in the forums, you tend to get a lot of keyboard warriors coming out of their holes to have a pop at ya because you dared express an opinion that their non-judgemental stance wants to pass judgement on. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" There you go again 'initial suspicions' if you think posters are defensive then what do you expect? Whether you intend it or not it comes across as judgemental, and on a swingers site that's a position certain to cause a reaction. Maybe if you looked at your own profile. 'Nice normal person! looking for similar!' looking for Tv/Ts could well be construed by those wishing to judge on sexual preferences as a dysfunctional contradiction. would you not defend your sexual preferences? This is getting tiresome now. I have explained myself multiple times. I am not judging anyone, merely invited incite and discussion around a topic in order for me to make my own mind up. If it offends you don't read/post. No need to try and shame me about my own sexual preferences. If I must explain this particular facet of my profile to you non-judgemental (hypocrites?) people then ok. I do not find men or men in dresses attractive, good on those who do, I don't. The reason I have tv/ts category is, you know, because I'm a nice normal guy. I'm not closed minded enough to turn someone down who looks female and is attractive to me, because of the way they were born. Interestingly I have received several inboxes on this topic from people with opposing views to what has generally been portrayed so far in this thread. Is it not a shame that people are scared of expressing ideas and opinion because they are scared the thought police will jump down their throats? Sadly there are a great many 'thought police' on this site. Glass houses and stones springs to mind for most and when you post in the forums, you tend to get a lot of keyboard warriors coming out of their holes to have a pop at ya because you dared express an opinion that their non-judgemental stance wants to pass judgement on. " | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I am off to buy some biscuits." You love your biscuits! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You could have done the research yourself on here. There are loads of historic threads. More interesting, though, is the 'tone' you adopt in the structure of the question. You don't 'understand' it and don't want to 'participate'. No need for the post then if your mind is made up. In what way would greater 'explanation' change it? Or, is the thread a way of expressing disapproval for choices you don't make but others do? Your age comes through in this one, sorry. Tone can be easily misconstrued through writing. I could have spent a few hours researching the psychology behind it sure, but I see far more value in a live discussion. I have no problem with people doing it if they so choose. I am merely being honest and expressing how I see the practice, and asking others to enlighten me if necessary. I seem to be getting attacked by the PC brigade though oh well. On the contrary, your 'tone' comes through perfectly. By saying it 'seems' dysfunctional to you pretty much means you think it is. Similarly, you're loathe to participate. Accept you don't get it and in any case don't want to indulge so why the need for a thread about it? Would a straight guy post on a gay thread that he didn't get it and wanted them to explain their sexual preferences? "
Excellent point and a good example.
I detect a defensiveness in the OP reacting badly to perfectly sensible and thoughtful comments and contributions from what he dismisses as the "PC Brigade". Oh dear! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"
Excellent point and a good example.
I detect a defensiveness in the OP reacting badly to perfectly sensible and thoughtful comments and contributions from what he dismisses as the "PC Brigade". Oh dear!"Detect away my friend, detect away. People who try and suppress the exchange of opinion, and intellectual discussion are just obnoxious bigots. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"
Excellent point and a good example.
I detect a defensiveness in the OP reacting badly to perfectly sensible and thoughtful comments and contributions from what he dismisses as the "PC Brigade". Oh dear!
Detect away my friend, detect away. People who try and suppress the exchange of opinion, and intellectual discussion are just obnoxious bigots. "Wow. Now you've descended into name-calling "Obnoxious bigots!" In what possible way am I "suppressing the exchange of opinion and intellectual discussinon?" I think you need to calm down. You're just making an even bigger fool of yourself | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" There you go again 'initial suspicions' if you think posters are defensive then what do you expect? Whether you intend it or not it comes across as judgemental, and on a swingers site that's a position certain to cause a reaction. Maybe if you looked at your own profile. 'Nice normal person! looking for similar!' looking for Tv/Ts could well be construed by those wishing to judge on sexual preferences as a dysfunctional contradiction. would you not defend your sexual preferences? This is getting tiresome now. I have explained myself multiple times. I am not judging anyone, merely invited incite and discussion around a topic in order for me to make my own mind up. If it offends you don't read/post. No need to try and shame me about my own sexual preferences. If I must explain this particular facet of my profile to you non-judgemental (hypocrites?) people then ok. I do not find men or men in dresses attractive, good on those who do, I don't. The reason I have tv/ts category is, you know, because I'm a nice normal guy. I'm not closed minded enough to turn someone down who looks female and is attractive to me, because of the way they were born. Interestingly I have received several inboxes on this topic from people with opposing views to what has generally been portrayed so far in this thread. Is it not a shame that people are scared of expressing ideas and opinion because they are scared the thought police will jump down their throats? " As far as I'm concerned you can be sexually attracted to whom ever you want, it's none of my business. As you well know my point wasn't to shame you on your sexual preferences, it was to point out the double standards in your OP where you cast doubt on the psychological well being of those with sexual preferences different to yours. As for the PC Brigade inference, you are fully entitled to express your views, as other posters are entitled to challenge them | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Detect away my friend, detect away. People who try and suppress the exchange of opinion, and intellectual discussion are just obnoxious bigots. Wow. Now you've descended into name-calling "Obnoxious bigots!" In what possible way am I "suppressing the exchange of opinion and intellectual discussinon?" I think you need to calm down. You're just making an even bigger fool of yourself" Never accused you old bean. It was the PC brigade you were defending to whom i referred. You know the type who are sooo liberal and sooo open-minded and non-judegemetal that they just can't bare to allow someone to express an opinion different to there own (sounds more like a fascist to me!). Obnoxiousness and bigotry are simply traits (although undesirable ones) so no name calling there either I'm afraid. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I have been asked several times to participate in this type of fantasy, but am loathe to be involved in what appears to be another's emotional torment. ?" If you've been offered the chance take it, at least you might come out of it verified  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" As far as I'm concerned you can be sexually attracted to whom ever you want, it's none of my business. As you well know my point wasn't to shame you on your sexual preferences, it was to point out the double standards in your OP where you cast doubt on the psychological well being of those with sexual preferences different to yours. As for the PC Brigade inference, you are fully entitled to express your views, as other posters are entitled to challenge them" Sorry but when i invite discussion around a topic, over which I admittedly (as is normal in human behaviour) hold some preconceptions (which may well be wrong). That is not an invite for people who have nothing constructive to add to the discussion to rifle through my profile looking for completely unrelated 'ammunition' to use in some kind of attempt to make me look a fool. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" As far as I'm concerned you can be sexually attracted to whom ever you want, it's none of my business. As you well know my point wasn't to shame you on your sexual preferences, it was to point out the double standards in your OP where you cast doubt on the psychological well being of those with sexual preferences different to yours. As for the PC Brigade inference, you are fully entitled to express your views, as other posters are entitled to challenge them Sorry but when i invite discussion around a topic, over which I admittedly (as is normal in human behaviour) hold some preconceptions (which may well be wrong). That is not an invite for people who have nothing constructive to add to the discussion to rifle through my profile looking for completely unrelated 'ammunition' to use in some kind of attempt to make me look a fool." So you can have sexual preferences that are perfectly valid psychologically, and they are, but are prepared to discuss in forum the psychological fragility of those that have different sexual preferences to yourself, and not expect that someone would challenge that. In your OP your last sentence was 'Am I looking at it in the wrong way' You asked for opinion, evidently you only wanted to hear what you wanted to hear. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" So you can have sexual preferences that are perfectly valid psychologically, and they are, but are prepared to discuss in forum the psychological fragility of those that have different sexual preferences to yourself, and not expect that someone would challenge that. In your OP your last sentence was 'Am I looking at it in the wrong way' You asked for opinion, evidently you only wanted to hear what you wanted to hear. " Yes i am prepared to discuss it as should any normal rational person, remember discussion is not condemnation. You can discuss whatever perceived psychological issues you think I have if you so wish (you keep talking about it but have yet to suggest any other than mild inferences about trans-people). Again though that is specific and personal, something which doesn't actually bother me, but i fail to see the relevance to the topic at hand. Exactly what is wrong with discussing a sexual practice which is alien to me and seems (key word) to be about the humiliation and dominance of another. Using your own words, if people involved in this practice are psychologically fragile, then I do not want to be involved (and agaaaain, that is simply what I am trying to ascertain). | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" So you can have sexual preferences that are perfectly valid psychologically, and they are, but are prepared to discuss in forum the psychological fragility of those that have different sexual preferences to yourself, and not expect that someone would challenge that. In your OP your last sentence was 'Am I looking at it in the wrong way' You asked for opinion, evidently you only wanted to hear what you wanted to hear. Yes i am prepared to discuss it as should any normal rational person, remember discussion is not condemnation. You can discuss whatever perceived psychological issues you think I have if you so wish (you keep talking about it but have yet to suggest any other than mild inferences about trans-people). Again though that is specific and personal, something which doesn't actually bother me, but i fail to see the relevance to the topic at hand. Exactly what is wrong with discussing a sexual practice which is alien to me and seems (key word) to be about the humiliation and dominance of another. Using your own words, if people involved in this practice are psychologically fragile, then I do not want to be involved (and agaaaain, that is simply what I am trying to ascertain). " Firstly, I don't think cuckolding couples are psychologically fragile, that was your initial premise. Secondly, if you are really interested in discussing the topic, there have been many lucid and cogent posts explaining it. Thirdly.as far as my posts are concerned, it would have been simple for you to say ..Yes I can understand how it might look like double standards on my part, but I want to understand the dynamics of cuckolding... I understand that you don't have to be some kind of sexual bigot not to be confused by the apparent anti love perceived aspect of cuckolding, and I'm sure you are not one. All I was attempting to do was to make you aware that it's all to easy for us to judge negatively something we are not experienced in, we have all done it, but maybe to look at our own behaviour first | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" For cuckhold cpls Ive got a spare ensuite bedroom next to mine,where you can hear your partner having pleasure. Or pop next door and watch or join in. Ive probably had 20+ girls from pof come over for fun and cum in the sun "The word is cuckold! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"...we'd also suggest that if you find yourself being asked to fulfill this role, it's a privilege and one for which you should play along with and enjoy within your own limitations " Exactly, any male we invite into our relationship should understand we haven't taken that decision easily... It has taken us eight years to now get to the stage where I (the hotwife - his description) feels totally comfortable about asking a young hot guy if he wants to fuck me in front of my hubby  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Firstly, I don't think cuckolding couples are psychologically fragile, that was your initial premise. Secondly, if you are really interested in discussing the topic, there have been many lucid and cogent posts explaining it. Thirdly.as far as my posts are concerned, it would have been simple for you to say ..Yes I can understand how it might look like double standards on my part, but I want to understand the dynamics of cuckolding... I understand that you don't have to be some kind of sexual bigot not to be confused by the apparent anti love perceived aspect of cuckolding, and I'm sure you are not one. All I was attempting to do was to make you aware that it's all to easy for us to judge negatively something we are not experienced in, we have all done it, but maybe to look at our own behaviour first " Firstly I didn't say you thought it, I merely said I was using your words. Not mine. I haven't explicitly used those words anywhere prior. Secondly, I agree, some of which stated that they believe underlying pschological issues may well be present. I would therefore invite further discussion. Thirdly, if you have read the entire thread you should be well aware that i have already done just that, I even reworded my question in an attempt to reduce people misconstruing my intentions. We appear to be making some progress here tho which is good although again I must ask what part of my behaviour/sexuality you want me to look at? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Am I looking at this the wrong way??" Many would say looking for casual sex on a website is dysfunctional behaviour... it's what ever floats your boat really. Having said that you are right to avoid if you are not comfortable with the particular kink of a cuck couple.. I know I would, not out of aversion but out of respect. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Exactly, any male we invite into our relationship should understand we haven't taken that decision easily... It has taken us eight years to now get to the stage where I (the hotwife - his description) feels totally comfortable about asking a young hot guy if he wants to fuck me in front of my hubby "I totally understand it from your point of view. Your partner has come to you with a fantasy of his, not necessarily something you want to do, but you try it to make him happy and find that you enjoy it too. The part about it that I am questioning is wether or not there is a reason (previous emotionally abusive relationship perhaps) that your partner feels he cannot satisfy you and instead finds sexual satisfaction with watching others do it. There may be no reason, and it may well be just be part of the complex spectrum of human sexuality. Or there may well be (in the majority of cases) a reason behind the behaviour. Again there is another level to this. If we make the presumption that the desire to be a cuck is caused by external stimuli. Would they be happier and more sexually fufilled if these issues were addressed? If the answer to both questions is yes. Then I would feel uncomfortable being involved. That doesn't mean that i am judging or condemning those who do practice cuckolding, simply making an informed decision on the morality of my own participation. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Am I looking at this the wrong way?? Many would say looking for casual sex on a website is dysfunctional behaviour... it's what ever floats your boat really. Having said that you are right to avoid if you are not comfortable with the particular kink of a cuck couple.. I know I would, not out of aversion but out of respect." Agreed. I'm dysfunctional in many ways, I have ADHD for a start! I've noticed people often get caught up with the pejorative connotations of specific words. In the case of this thread it seems to be 'dysfunctional'. At the end of the day all it means is not functioning normally. So yes many activities on this website can be classed as dysfunctional, doesn't make them bad. My question however is; if that dysfunction is limiting a persons enjoyment of sex, is it right for me to re-enforce it? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I don't understand why someone gets their rocks off by being whipped, but I would never call it dysfunctional. I said it 'seems' dysfunctional, and I'm asking for a view from those who do partake. How else can we learn? I am a strong believer of freedom of choice, and have no qualms with others finding sexual fulfilment in whatever way they deem fit. However when I am asked to be involved in such things, I believe endeavouring to learn more, and form a reasoned opinion on the matter is essential. Most people would think being on a swingers site is dysfunctional. Different strokes etc." I totally agree I'm after a cuckold Not totally into humiliating him when I find him But if that's his kink Then I could live with it Who wants to be normal anyways Dysfunction for me any day | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Am I looking at this the wrong way?? Many would say looking for casual sex on a website is dysfunctional behaviour... it's what ever floats your boat really. Having said that you are right to avoid if you are not comfortable with the particular kink of a cuck couple.. I know I would, not out of aversion but out of respect. Agreed. I'm dysfunctional in many ways, I have ADHD for a start! I've noticed people often get caught up with the pejorative connotations of specific words. In the case of this thread it seems to be 'dysfunctional'. At the end of the day all it means is not functioning normally. So yes many activities on this website can be classed as dysfunctional, doesn't make them bad. My question however is; if that dysfunction is limiting a persons enjoyment of sex, is it right for me to re-enforce it? " Korbyzski often quoted "The map is not the territory" If two lovers went into a wood they would see it differently to say a lumberjack, who in turn would see it differently to a ornithologist. It's the same wood, just different perceptions. Are there perceptions dysfunctional, I suspect not, just different outcomes. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I totally agree I'm after a cuckold Not totally into humiliating him when I find him But if that's his kink Then I could live with it Who wants to be normal anyways Dysfunction for me any day " Great. I wish you all the look in your search. Just out of interest what part of the cuck scenario are you interested in if not the humiliation and domination of another? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Korbyzski often quoted "The map is not the territory" If two lovers went into a wood they would see it differently to say a lumberjack, who in turn would see it differently to a ornithologist. It's the same wood, just different perceptions. Are there perceptions dysfunctional, I suspect not, just different outcomes. " You are an enigma! If a tree falls in the forest with nobody around, does it make a sound? Why does the word exist if we cannot use it? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Firstly, I don't think cuckolding couples are psychologically fragile, that was your initial premise. Secondly, if you are really interested in discussing the topic, there have been many lucid and cogent posts explaining it. Thirdly.as far as my posts are concerned, it would have been simple for you to say ..Yes I can understand how it might look like double standards on my part, but I want to understand the dynamics of cuckolding... I understand that you don't have to be some kind of sexual bigot not to be confused by the apparent anti love perceived aspect of cuckolding, and I'm sure you are not one. All I was attempting to do was to make you aware that it's all to easy for us to judge negatively something we are not experienced in, we have all done it, but maybe to look at our own behaviour first Firstly I didn't say you thought it, I merely said I was using your words. Not mine. I haven't explicitly used those words anywhere prior. Secondly, I agree, some of which stated that they believe underlying pschological issues may well be present. I would therefore invite further discussion. Thirdly, if you have read the entire thread you should be well aware that i have already done just that, I even reworded my question in an attempt to reduce people misconstruing my intentions. We appear to be making some progress here tho which is good although again I must ask what part of my behaviour/sexuality you want me to look at?"Well it's good to see you have modified the thrust of your OP..so if you have identified cuckolding as a dysfunctional activity on the human sexuality spectrum where would you place yours? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Korbyzski often quoted "The map is not the territory" If two lovers went into a wood they would see it differently to say a lumberjack, who in turn would see it differently to a ornithologist. It's the same wood, just different perceptions. Are there perceptions dysfunctional, I suspect not, just different outcomes. You are an enigma! If a tree falls in the forest with nobody around, does it make a sound? Why does the word exist if we cannot use it? " No, It doesn't make a sound if there is no receptor to translate the pulse waves it makes. As for the world, the answer to that is because of bored Greek fishermen who were sitting out a storm......... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I totally agree I'm after a cuckold Not totally into humiliating him when I find him But if that's his kink Then I could live with it Who wants to be normal anyways Dysfunction for me any day Great. I wish you all the look in your search. Just out of interest what part of the cuck scenario are you interested in if not the humiliation and domination of another?" Truthfully! Well Whatever floats his boat really Be that domination Humiliation Chastity Sex denial Whoring me to mates Because I've been a real good slut for over a decade now And I'm continuing that no matter what But I'd like a Man in my bed most nights now So dating vanilla doesn't do it for me Dating swingers doesn't either So a man that wants a proper slutwife and remains faithful to her suits me Well it's either that or become a lesbian Which I may even consider lol As long as she let me have cock xxx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Well it's good to see you have modified the thrust of your OP..so if you have identified cuckolding as a dysfunctional activity on the human sexuality spectrum where would you place yours?" My what? Are you reading my responses to other people here as well? As i feel that all I am doing is repeating myself. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Truthfully! Well Whatever floats his boat really Be that domination Humiliation Chastity Sex denial Whoring me to mates Because I've been a real good slut for over a decade now And I'm continuing that no matter what But I'd like a Man in my bed most nights now So dating vanilla doesn't do it for me Dating swingers doesn't either So a man that wants a proper slutwife and remains faithful to her suits me Well it's either that or become a lesbian Which I may even consider lol As long as she let me have cock xxx " So for you it is basically a case of having your cake and eating it? You are just looking to find a man willing to fit in with that. So why specifically a cuck relationship? Rather than a traditional open relationship? When you say remains faithful do you mean he is not allowed to sleep with women other than you? Or just without your knowledge? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Truthfully! Well Whatever floats his boat really Be that domination Humiliation Chastity Sex denial Whoring me to mates Because I've been a real good slut for over a decade now And I'm continuing that no matter what But I'd like a Man in my bed most nights now So dating vanilla doesn't do it for me Dating swingers doesn't either So a man that wants a proper slutwife and remains faithful to her suits me Well it's either that or become a lesbian Which I may even consider lol As long as she let me have cock xxx So for you it is basically a case of having your cake and eating it? You are just looking to find a man willing to fit in with that. So why specifically a cuck relationship? Rather than a traditional open relationship? When you say remains faithful do you mean he is not allowed to sleep with women other than you? Or just without your knowledge? " No I'd grind my bfs cock in a blender if he fucked another woman lol He can be bi and fuck all the men he wants But I want what I want or I'll stay single I've had plenty of offers Jus no one with similar interests other than the sexual arrangements | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Truthfully! Well Whatever floats his boat really Be that domination Humiliation Chastity Sex denial Whoring me to mates Because I've been a real good slut for over a decade now And I'm continuing that no matter what But I'd like a Man in my bed most nights now So dating vanilla doesn't do it for me Dating swingers doesn't either So a man that wants a proper slutwife and remains faithful to her suits me Well it's either that or become a lesbian Which I may even consider lol As long as she let me have cock xxx So for you it is basically a case of having your cake and eating it? You are just looking to find a man willing to fit in with that. So why specifically a cuck relationship? Rather than a traditional open relationship? When you say remains faithful do you mean he is not allowed to sleep with women other than you? Or just without your knowledge? No I'd grind my bfs cock in a blender if he fucked another woman lol He can be bi and fuck all the men he wants But I want what I want or I'll stay single I've had plenty of offers Jus no one with similar interests other than the sexual arrangements " And doesn't everyone else define there future relationship by what they need and want and prefer I'm no different to anyone else in that | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" And doesn't everyone else define there future relationship by what they need and want and prefer I'm no different to anyone else in that " Yep, your entitled to pursue whatever makes you happy, and I wish you all the best in finding it. In your particular circumstance I personally would not feel comfortable being involved. I'm just wondering if all cuck relationships have this dynamic at their core, or wether there are some scenarios I could be involved in and maintain a clear conscience | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"OP, try explaining why you enjoy SM, spanking and anal. You just do, right? Some people do and some people see no attraction in those activities at all. My favourite colour is blue and I like chocolate bourbons." Has the thread changed from cuckolding ! Colour purple, and I like Jaffa Cakes,Chocolate digestives, dark or milk,all Foxes (not the manky scruffy ones that go through your bins, the biscuits !), I'm also partial to an occasional Hob Knob and finger (not the buscuits)  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" The part about it that I am questioning is wether or not there is a reason (previous emotionally abusive relationship perhaps) that your partner feels he cannot satisfy you..... " Why do you assume that cucks can't satisfy their partner?? " Or there may well be (in the majority of cases) a reason behind the behaviour. " Majority?? Really? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" The part about it that I am questioning is wether or not there is a reason (previous emotionally abusive relationship perhaps) that your partner feels he cannot satisfy you..... Why do you assume that cucks can't satisfy their partner?? Or there may well be (in the majority of cases) a reason behind the behaviour. Majority?? Really? " Agreed Many cocks do satisfy their partners They just don't want a typical swinging life as a couple That's all | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" The part about it that I am questioning is wether or not there is a reason (previous emotionally abusive relationship perhaps) that your partner feels he cannot satisfy you..... Why do you assume that cucks can't satisfy their partner?? Or there may well be (in the majority of cases) a reason behind the behaviour. Majority?? Really? " Because my assumption (and it is just that) is that an underlying factor in the cuck mentality is a fear of inadequacy in that department. I fully accept that may not be the case. I am not making the claim of majority myself. Just posing the question. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" yes you are looking at it totally the wrong way and really have no clue, cuckolding is a very wide spectrum of things, some people go as far as to live there life as cuckold, but to many it is agreed role play and what happens depends entirely on those involved, cuckolding does not have to be humiliating or forced or restrained or abusing, it starts at very simply watching your wife getting fucked, so as someone told you, if you go round and fuck someones wife while they watch, you are making them cuckold, this thread is a perfect example of why you should understand something before going into it. How can I learn without asking? Understanding is a process. What would be the point in questioning something I already understand? You are completely wrong to try and stifle discussion!" please dont tell me im wrong, I didnt once try stifle discussion, or tell you to stop asking, I simply stated that you should understand something before going into it. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" please dont tell me im wrong, I didnt once try stifle discussion, or tell you to stop asking, I simply stated that you should understand something before going into it." I didn't say YOU were wrong a said you are wrong to try and stifle discussion. If that's not what you were doing, they no wrong doing has been committed now has it I do note that you have not provided answer to the question of how you expect me to miraculously gain understanding in a subject, when I am apparently not allowed to ask about it. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"And excuse me for butting, in 
Cuckqueens? Any thoughts? "I have never come across one, but my thoughts would initially be the same. If my future wife was to start asking me to sleep with younger more attractive women while she watched and I insulted her, I would most definitely wonder what had caused her to act that way in the very least. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think it's safe to say you didn't get it before and after more than adequate explanation you still don't get it. not for you clearly by wording of your posts so better to just drop it before you start to come across as judging those that do. "I agree Who says we have to understand peoples motives for their sexual preferences anyway? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think it's safe to say you didn't get it before and after more than adequate explanation you still don't get it. It's not for you clearly by the wording of your posts so it's better to just drop it before you start to come across as judging those that do. "this.. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" please dont tell me im wrong, I didnt once try stifle discussion, or tell you to stop asking, I simply stated that you should understand something before going into it. I didn't say YOU were wrong a said you are wrong to try and stifle discussion. If that's not what you were doing, they no wrong doing has been committed now has it I do note that you have not provided answer to the question of how you expect me to miraculously gain understanding in a subject, when I am apparently not allowed to ask about it. "again tell me where I told you to stop asking about it or that you werent allowed to ask about it. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" again tell me where I told you to stop asking about it or that you werent allowed to ask about it." You explicitly said I should "understand before going into something" how do you propose that be done? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I agree Who says we have to understand peoples motives for their sexual preferences anyway? " If I'm gunna be involved I want to understand. You don't want to understand others that's fine that's your choice. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think it's safe to say you didn't get it before and after more than adequate explanation you still don't get it. It's not for you clearly by the wording of your posts so it's better to just drop it before you start to come across as judging those that do. "Sorry Sten, wasn't asking for an explanation (it's pretty straightforward concept), I was asking for a discussion. I think it's safe to say that you didn't get my question before, and after repeating myself countless times you still don't get. Probably best to drop it before you come across as mildly patronising and condescending. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was asking for a discussion." I'm not patronising you i hope, but most of the topics on here are pretty light, plenty of people on here are liberal so don't really question stuff, they accept it, also many people don't like to leave themselves vulnerable. There are other forums on the internet that go into philosophy, if you find a fairly active one i'm sure they'd be happy to discuss this matter in the way you want to. I'm not inferring you should leave this site as you will get certain things from being a member here, but i can see what type of discussion you want and i honestly don't think you'll get it on here. This site has a different vibe to it, it's not that deep most of the time and neither are the topics. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think it's safe to say you didn't get it before and after more than adequate explanation you still don't get it. It's not for you clearly by the wording of your posts so it's better to just drop it before you start to come across as judging those that do.
Sorry Sten, wasn't asking for an explanation (it's pretty straightforward concept), I was asking for a discussion. I think it's safe to say that you didn't get my question before, and after repeating myself countless times you still don't get. Probably best to drop it before you come across as mildly patronising and condescending. "wow...... you really do like playing the "victim" in this thread if people don't agree with your viewpoint..... its as if you agree with people who align themselves.... and say "la la la i'm not listening" those those who have the sheer audacity to disagree or pick you up on what you have said..... the think about cuckolding is that as others have said that it is wide ranging and can cover a huge spectrum... however what you said right at the beginning is the view of cuckolding that has been reinforced by what people for example see in porn films.... the extreme humiliation and degrading aspect.... and people see that as a norm.... its not! it isn't always that way, and when people have told you otherwise.... la la la.... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think it's safe to say you didn't get it before and after more than adequate explanation you still don't get it. It's not for you clearly by the wording of your posts so it's better to just drop it before you start to come across as judging those that do.
Sorry Sten, wasn't asking for an explanation (it's pretty straightforward concept), I was asking for a discussion. I think it's safe to say that you didn't get my question before, and after repeating myself countless times you still don't get. Probably best to drop it before you come across as mildly patronising and condescending.
wow...... you really do like playing the "victim" in this thread if people don't agree with your viewpoint..... its as if you agree with people who align themselves.... and say "la la la i'm not listening" those those who have the sheer audacity to disagree or pick you up on what you have said.....
the think about cuckolding is that as others have said that it is wide ranging and can cover a huge spectrum... however what you said right at the beginning is the view of cuckolding that has been reinforced by what people for example see in porn films.... the extreme humiliation and degrading aspect.... and people see that as a norm.... its not!
it isn't always that way, and when people have told you otherwise.... la la la....
"I can see how you can perceive that I don't want to listen to others viewpoints. However I am actually only objecting to the posts which basically just say "you don't get it so don't ask". Your post actually had some content and incite so thanks. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was asking for a discussion. I'm not patronising you i hope, but most of the topics on here are pretty light, plenty of people on here are liberal so don't really question stuff, they accept it, also many people don't like to leave themselves vulnerable. There are other forums on the internet that go into philosophy, if you find a fairly active one i'm sure they'd be happy to discuss this matter in the way you want to. I'm not inferring you should leave this site as you will get certain things from being a member here, but i can see what type of discussion you want and i honestly don't think you'll get it on here. This site has a different vibe to it, it's not that deep most of the time and neither are the topics." Yeah spot on, I realised I'm not going to get what I was hoping for out of this discussion so time t move on! I just get a bit annoyed with that sort of faux liberalism where it becomes ok to try and censor discussion. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was asking for a discussion. I'm not patronising you i hope, but most of the topics on here are pretty light, plenty of people on here are liberal so don't really question stuff, they accept it, also many people don't like to leave themselves vulnerable. There are other forums on the internet that go into philosophy, if you find a fairly active one i'm sure they'd be happy to discuss this matter in the way you want to. I'm not inferring you should leave this site as you will get certain things from being a member here, but i can see what type of discussion you want and i honestly don't think you'll get it on here. This site has a different vibe to it, it's not that deep most of the time and neither are the topics. Yeah spot on, I realised I'm not going to get what I was hoping for out of this discussion so time t move on! I just get a bit annoyed with that sort of faux liberalism where it becomes ok to try and censor discussion. " You just think a different way from most people, i understand completely how you feel. All you have to do is find other people like you and you can have the discussions you want. There are some forums what do have people who discuss things and keep it impersonal to a degree, so discussions flow just great. Hopefully you find an active one. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" again tell me where I told you to stop asking about it or that you werent allowed to ask about it. You explicitly said I should "understand before going into something" how do you propose that be done? " so ill ask yet again, where in that bit of advice that you have quoted did I tell you to stop asking or that you werent allowed to ask, I simply offered the advice of understanding something before you go into it, I really dont see why you have to be so defensive with not just me but alot of others on this thread aswell. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" again tell me where I told you to stop asking about it or that you werent allowed to ask about it. You explicitly said I should "understand before going into something" how do you propose that be done? so ill ask yet again, where in that bit of advice that you have quoted did I tell you to stop asking or that you werent allowed to ask, I simply offered the advice of understanding something before you go into it, I really dont see why you have to be so defensive with not just me but alot of others on this thread aswell." All he wanted was to understand the topic, that's why he had questions. A lot of people took the word loathe right out of context, he was loathe to do something means he wasn't keen on the idea of doing it. A lot of people said he should just accept that other people want to cuckold but he wasn't asking if he should accept it, he wanted to know whether or not he was going to add to any psychological damage or harm by participating. Nobody answered these questions, most people thought he was asking cuckolds to change their way of life, he never even said that either. He comes across as highly intelligent, most people can't converse with people like him because they aren't in the same league when it comes to conversing. And no that's not an insult to anyone either before someone takes that the wrong way as well, most people are average, that's normal and just how it is. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"There's different levels to cuckold, I enjoy the voyeur aspect of it. I find it really erotic and actually love watching her with another guy" I think that's the most commonplace form of cuckoldry. More often than not I have been invited to provide that, but on occasions also toadd in verbal abuse Which the cuckold has really enjoyed. With one couple, as soon as we had made the arrangements in the week for me to visit at the weekend, the husband was denied sex from that point until I arrived, and even then though naked and direct he was not permitted to join in. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" again tell me where I told you to stop asking about it or that you werent allowed to ask about it. You explicitly said I should "understand before going into something" how do you propose that be done? so ill ask yet again, where in that bit of advice that you have quoted did I tell you to stop asking or that you werent allowed to ask, I simply offered the advice of understanding something before you go into it, I really dont see why you have to be so defensive with not just me but alot of others on this thread aswell. All he wanted was to understand the topic, that's why he had questions. A lot of people took the word loathe right out of context, he was loathe to do something means he wasn't keen on the idea of doing it. A lot of people said he should just accept that other people want to cuckold but he wasn't asking if he should accept it, he wanted to know whether or not he was going to add to any psychological damage or harm by participating. Nobody answered these questions, most people thought he was asking cuckolds to change their way of life, he never even said that either. He comes across as highly intelligent, most people can't converse with people like him because they aren't in the same league when it comes to conversing. And no that's not an insult to anyone either before someone takes that the wrong way as well, most people are average, that's normal and just how it is." and I have not stopped or tried to stop him from doing that, I simply offered advice, if he didnt want to take it he could of just ignored it without unjustly accussing me of telling him hes not allowed or shouldnt ask about it, when ive done nothing of the sort. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"and I have not stopped or tried to stop him from doing that, I simply offered advice, if he didnt want to take it he could of just ignored it without unjustly accussing me of telling him hes not allowed or shouldnt ask about it, when ive done nothing of the sort." crossed wires i think? he was asking about the subject, you said he shouldn't get into it without understanding. getting into it could also be taken as 'thinking about it' as well as doing it. anyway OP has abandoned the thread anyway coz it did turn into a shitfest. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"and I have not stopped or tried to stop him from doing that, I simply offered advice, if he didnt want to take it he could of just ignored it without unjustly accussing me of telling him hes not allowed or shouldnt ask about it, when ive done nothing of the sort. crossed wires i think? he was asking about the subject, you said he shouldn't get into it without understanding. getting into it could also be taken as 'thinking about it' as well as doing it. anyway OP has abandoned the thread anyway coz it did turn into a shitfest." thats the point im making, I didnt say he shouldnt get into it, I was speaking in general about the thread as id read it upto then, I didnt single him or anyone out, you say he comes across as intelligent but he couldnt or didn't pick that up before jumping on my comment. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"and I have not stopped or tried to stop him from doing that, I simply offered advice, if he didnt want to take it he could of just ignored it without unjustly accussing me of telling him hes not allowed or shouldnt ask about it, when ive done nothing of the sort. crossed wires i think? he was asking about the subject, you said he shouldn't get into it without understanding. getting into it could also be taken as 'thinking about it' as well as doing it. anyway OP has abandoned the thread anyway coz it did turn into a shitfest. thats the point im making, I didnt say he shouldnt get into it, I was speaking in general about the thread as id read it upto then, I didnt single him or anyone out, you say he comes across as intelligent but he couldnt or didn't pick that up before jumping on my comment. " neither did i pick up on it though, took me a couple of days. certain people have certain ways of speaking and what one person says can be translated as something else in someone elses head. happens sometimes, no big deal once it's sorted. he's questioning himself, he's asked people to help him with that. that's what intelligence is, it is questioning things and seeking out new knowledge. hardly anyone does it unless they're highly intelligent. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"and I have not stopped or tried to stop him from doing that, I simply offered advice, if he didnt want to take it he could of just ignored it without unjustly accussing me of telling him hes not allowed or shouldnt ask about it, when ive done nothing of the sort. crossed wires i think? he was asking about the subject, you said he shouldn't get into it without understanding. getting into it could also be taken as 'thinking about it' as well as doing it. anyway OP has abandoned the thread anyway coz it did turn into a shitfest. thats the point im making, I didnt say he shouldnt get into it, I was speaking in general about the thread as id read it upto then, I didnt single him or anyone out, you say he comes across as intelligent but he couldnt or didn't pick that up before jumping on my comment. neither did i pick up on it though, took me a couple of days. certain people have certain ways of speaking and what one person says can be translated as something else in someone elses head. happens sometimes, no big deal once it's sorted. he's questioning himself, he's asked people to help him with that. that's what intelligence is, it is questioning things and seeking out new knowledge. hardly anyone does it unless they're highly intelligent." It could be that, or it could also be he doesn't understand something and no matter how much advice or what advice comes, he is either unwilling to listen or incapable of listening because its not what he wants to hear, personally im not sure which it is, as he has shown a bit of both in this thread. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You could have done the research yourself on here. There are loads of historic threads. More interesting, though, is the 'tone' you adopt in the structure of the question. You don't 'understand' it and don't want to 'participate'. No need for the post then if your mind is made up. In what way would greater 'explanation' change it? Or, is the thread a way of expressing disapproval for choices you don't make but others do? Your age comes through in this one, sorry. Tone can be easily misconstrued through writing. I could have spent a few hours researching the psychology behind it sure, but I see far more value in a live discussion. I have no problem with people doing it if they so choose. I am merely being honest and expressing how I see the practice, and asking others to enlighten me if necessary. I seem to be getting attacked by the PC brigade though oh well. " I think the problem was that you had formed and expressed a negatively critical opinion, including Dysfunction'. That hardly seems open minded and curious, does it? Other peoples' relationships are their responsibility and you as the single guy would be only involved sexually. We generally cant understand others' tastes, whether its food tastes or sexual desires when they don't match ours. And its not our business, Imo, to seek explanations beyond the sexual. All couples will be a bit different too, it's their thing. The op would be the accessory. I don't view omit it in the slightest bit dysfunctional if 2people know exactly what they need to be sexually turned on and satisfied, as part of their relationship - in fact, I view it as signifying higher levels of functioning. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
