FabSwingers.com forum: Winks :- Love them or Hate them ?

By *harkyUK69 OP Man
over a year ago

march, cambs.

Personally i'm a winker, for me its a way to initiate contact, if i wink at you it's because i like what i read, i don't like to be pushy !

I see it as a way to invite you to have a look at me ! If you wink back i spend the time to compose a individual message, tailored to your profile ( and including whatever words you have asked for to verify that i have actual read your profile) I never copy paste a personal message, unless its directions, or safety info.

So why do so many people seem to hate winks ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people see it as lazy, why wink when a message is much nicer. If your interested enough to wink then surely one can introduce yourself by message.

That said, personally.........we're not bothered if we get them, it's flattering and one never knows where it could lead.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ngelfayeWoman
over a year ago

I don't hate them but prefer to spend my time checking profiles of the people that have messaged me, so I never really check who's winked at me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We mostly ignore them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *harkyUK69 OP Man
over a year ago

march, cambs.

I do think it's much easier for Females and Couples, you tend to get approached ?

Males have to do more work, and thatsnot a bad thing, though i do struggle to come up with new approaches for each message, and i don't want any messages i send to sound like they are cut and paste, when all is said and done, there are only so many ways to introduce yourself and initiate dialog. I try to stand out by making my messages different and interesting, if i was doing 50 a day like some guys on here then there is no way i could put the quality into them that those recieving them deserve !

I suppose because i am not desperate i can afford the luxury of the slow game, it may be age, it may be experience, but i have found good things cum to those who have patience

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like a wink.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like a wink."

Winker.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like a wink."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wan...........I mean winkers. Tired eyes playing tricks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *harkyUK69 OP Man
over a year ago

march, cambs.

"Wan...........I mean winkers. Tired eyes playing tricks

It is late, or early so inam sure you can be excused for your slip of dirty mind !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like a wink.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

Winks are alright!!

Its not like someones tryna shove their knob (or their strap-on) through your letterbox ... I don't get why people get annoyed when they get one! (a wink - not a knob through their letterbox)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its a starting point -

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't mind winks. Shows there is interest. We will check them out and then wink back or send a message if we are also keen.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do like winks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mallteaserWoman
over a year ago

Central

I like winks x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *om DawnCouple
over a year ago

Medway

We've tried both options and winking works for us. As we say it's not meant to be lazy just a way of saying we are interested are you? It doesn't matter if you produce a Shakespearian effort of a message, as soon as the female of the couple takes a look at you and says 'nah' it's game over ! Stick with the winking

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never look at them.. Far too many to sift through to find the good stuff

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its nice to get a wink , I am moving to sending more messages , reading profiles and thinking about what I want to say

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston

Love them!

I have put effort into my profile, a wink is a way to attract attention. If someone winks at after reading my profile there is a good chance we have enough in common that a meet will be good. If I wink at someone and then they contact me the same is true.

Saves a lot of time exchanging mails only to find that there is no compatibility.

Of course for them to work you have to be honest in your profile and that seems to be a foreign concept to many.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We don't mind a wink, it will make us look at your profile and respond if you appeal. On the other hand, a message will always get a response.

Personally I think that a wink is no more lazy than a message which just says "Hi" or "Nice Pix"

and these types of messages are often in receipt of a short reply too.... unless we think you're sexy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Yep, we use winks as well. It's the equivalent of catching someone's eye across the room and giving them a smile, it says we like what we see. A wink back means they think the same, so then we'll send a message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're a couple of little "winkers" and we like to be winked by all you "wink'ees!" As its a harmless addition to the process we think

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we dont mind being winked, its a good way to show an interest

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

Don't love or hate them just mostly ignore them.....if I am interested in someone I will message them so usually the only winks I do is when I am playing a forum game

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love winks there great

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally i'm a winker, for me its a way to initiate contact, if i wink at you it's because i like what i read, i don't like to be pushy !

So why do so many people seem to hate winks ?"

I don't mind them in a forum game "wink someone in this thread" otherwise find people use them because they are lazy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"I don't mind them in a forum game "wink someone in this thread" otherwise find people use them because they are lazy. "

I'm not lazy, and I'm sure many other people here aren't. However, some people are nervous or shy. A message that consists of "hi" is lazy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't mind them in a forum game "wink someone in this thread" otherwise find people use them because they are lazy.

I'm not lazy, and I'm sure many other people here aren't. However, some people are nervous or shy. A message that consists of "hi" is lazy. "

It's just my opinion

I'm sure your not lazy but, a lot are. I agree that is a lazy message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's wrong with Winking..???

I see them as the equivalent of smiling at a stranger - maybe you get a smile back and start talking, or else there is no response and you are free to pass on by...

I feel quite sorry for people who are too cold or shallow to see the worth of them....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a winker if I like a profile I will wink

I find first messages awkward as some fems couple will open message give a scan and move on as they will have other messages,

It's just like smiling at someone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's wrong with Winking..???

I see them as the equivalent of smiling at a stranger - maybe you get a smile back and start talking, or else there is no response and you are free to pass on by...

I feel quite sorry for people who are too cold or shallow to see the worth of them....

Wink

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know how anyone could hate them....that said I largely ignore them, it never really occurs to me to check.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't know how anyone could hate them....that said I largely ignore them, it never really occurs to me to check. "

I've winked you a few times in the past Anna

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I don't send winks as a way of contacting someone, if the person(s) profile interests me enough I think the few minutes it takes to type a message is a good investment of my time.

Having said that I don't mind receiving them which if I do I respond with a message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It started with a wink"

Most, if not all our contacts have started with a wink. We look at all profiles of people who wink us, and if we like we wink back!

Sometimes we recieve a message from someone who, after checking their profile, are not our "cup of tea" but we won't ignore the message, so we have to reply and tell them that we are not really interested which can be incredibly uncomfortable for us and a little hurtful for them. A wink takes all that awkwardness out of the situation.

Oh, and winking is NOT lazy!! Judging people like that from such an insignificant act on a website forum is not a very smal minded and incredibly shallow!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apologies for the poor grammar on the last post

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff

Love winks and winking..

If they wink back,or if we do its a good way to start the ball rolling with a message..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont wink i much prefer to send a message with a face pic.

I dont mind receiving a wink at all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

despise them so much i have a squad of ninja hamsters ready to deploy lest it happens..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I am going to be "mr grumpy" in the thread...

all a wink shows me is that you managed to find the wink button.... nothing more...

it doesn't show me any personality as to why i should be interested in a person... it doesn't show me if you even looked at the profile and just the pics......

i use to call it lazy... but it isn't even that, its minimal effort for maximum reward....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am going to be "mr grumpy" in the thread...

all a wink shows me is that you managed to find the wink button.... nothing more...

it doesn't show me any personality as to why i should be interested in a person... it doesn't show me if you even looked at the profile and just the pics......

i use to call it lazy... but it isn't even that, its minimal effort for maximum reward...."

And that comment was pathetic as it works both ways! How do you know that the person who has winked you hasn't read your profile description as well as looked at your pictures?? As for not showing you any personality, not even a profile can show you someone's true personality as they can type anything they like to try and make themselves sound interesting!

I'm sorry if this is a little harsh but I like to wink people and by stating what you have in your comment above means your calling us "less than lazy!" which we most certainly are not and we find insulting!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like winks i see them as a ice breaker

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like winks i see them as a ice breaker

As do I

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

thanks... but where did i say it was "less than lazy"!.... I said I use to call it lazy! now i think it is minimal effort for maximum effort....

if it shows you have read the profile and you are interested... then write back to the profile and give them a reason as to why they would want to meet you...

show them you are individual,

show them "wow i have to meet these people"

wow them with so much pazazz they have to get back to you....

I know how i'll do that.... I'll just push a button!!!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thanks... but where did i say it was "less than lazy"!.... I said I use to call it lazy! now i think it is minimal effort for maximum effort....

if it shows you have read the profile and you are interested... then write back to the profile and give them a reason as to why they would want to meet you...

show them you are individual,

show them "wow i have to meet these people"

wow them with so much pazazz they have to get back to you....

I know how i'll do that.... I'll just push a button!!!!!"

"Wow'ing" them is part of the process and, in our opinion, doesn't need to be done in the very first instance of contact!!

When at a bar, before approaching a girl you like do you "check her out" first and try to catch her eye maybe? Or do you go storming in like a "bull in a china shop!?" Showering her with compliments in the hope she won't turn around and tell you to "bog off!"

A wink is not "minimal effort" but it is a good ice breaker and the start of a process!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like winks...if I like the look of someone I usually wink first followed by a message soon after, its an ice breaker.

If I get a wink I feel flattered that someone is taking an interest.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

thanks... but where did i say it was "less than lazy"!.... I said I use to call it lazy! now i think it is minimal effort for maximum effort....

if it shows you have read the profile and you are interested... then write back to the profile and give them a reason as to why they would want to meet you...

show them you are individual,

show them "wow i have to meet these people"

wow them with so much pazazz they have to get back to you....

I know how i'll do that.... I'll just push a button!!!!!

"Wow'ing" them is part of the process and, in our opinion, doesn't need to be done in the very first instance of contact!!

A wink is not "minimal effort" but it is a good ice breaker and the start of a process!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thanks... but where did i say it was "less than lazy"!.... I said I use to call it lazy! now i think it is minimal effort for maximum effort....

if it shows you have read the profile and you are interested... then write back to the profile and give them a reason as to why they would want to meet you...

show them you are individual,

show them "wow i have to meet these people"

wow them with so much pazazz they have to get back to you....

I know how i'll do that.... I'll just push a button!!!!!

"Wow'ing" them is part of the process and, in our opinion, doesn't need to be done in the very first instance of contact!!

A wink is not "minimal effort" but it is a good ice breaker and the start of a process!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

I use them quite a lot, a useful tool.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't beat a good wink

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I like them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Indifferent, I never respond to them anyway.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *astpoetMan
over a year ago

where the world takes me

"Indifferent, I never respond to them anyway."

I don't mind a wink, sometimes it's a way for shy people to find out if you're interested.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Indifferent, I never respond to them anyway.

I don't mind a wink, sometimes it's a way for shy people to find out if you're interested."
Well they would be none the wiser here then.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind them but if you get a few at the same time it's time consuming to look at the profile and respond. Prefer a message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like them giving and receiving

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread