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Bullying

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I posted a thread a while back complaining about the amount of bullying on the forums. I thought it had dropped off a bit after that. Has it started surfacing again though? People's thoughts please

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

The forum changes with the people. The web world is divorced from seeing peoples reactions.

Challenge when you see something if you feel strongly.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *cotbbtopMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I posted a thread looking for couples and singles who bareback, and I got a lot of uninvited views and opinions on the practice of barebacking. If people don't like it, they don't need to pass any comments.

Many of the responses were quite nasty with people celebrating the fact they were blocking me - as if I cared. Fair enough to block, but to use it as a weapon against a fellow fab member is regrettable to say the least.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a look at the Club forum not died down at all. Opinions only matter if it's the apologists making them if not you get shouted down. Although the Op held his own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I posted a thread looking for couples and singles who bareback, and I got a lot of uninvited views and opinions on the practice of barebacking. If people don't like it, they don't need to pass any comments.

Many of the responses were quite nasty with people celebrating the fact they were blocking me - as if I cared. Fair enough to block, but to use it as a weapon against a fellow fab member is regrettable to say the least."

Bareback will always be a sore subject.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I posted a thread looking for couples and singles who bareback, and I got a lot of uninvited views and opinions on the practice of barebacking. If people don't like it, they don't need to pass any comments.

Many of the responses were quite nasty with people celebrating the fact they were blocking me - as if I cared. Fair enough to block, but to use it as a weapon against a fellow fab member is regrettable to say the least.

Bareback will always be a sore subject.

"

No pun intended?

Seriously, yes it will be. But it is those who are lying about the issue who are the dangerous group.

That unpleasant fact becomes an ever greater problem when the forum bullies dissuade people from being honest

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By *cotbbtopMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

People should be respected for honesty, not condemned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I posted a thread looking for couples and singles who bareback, and I got a lot of uninvited views and opinions on the practice of barebacking. If people don't like it, they don't need to pass any comments.

Many of the responses were quite nasty with people celebrating the fact they were blocking me - as if I cared. Fair enough to block, but to use it as a weapon against a fellow fab member is regrettable to say the least.

Bareback will always be a sore subject.

No pun intended?

Seriously, yes it will be. But it is those who are lying about the issue who are the dangerous group.

That unpleasant fact becomes an ever greater problem when the forum bullies dissuade people from being honest"

You will always get the forum bullies too. They obviously like to be confrontational behind a screen!!

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

When is an opinion and a different view from the OP bullying? Some of the mentions I don't see as bullying but as people posting their view on a subject raised.

If several people have a similar but different view to the OP I don't see it as bullying but people posting their views. When the attacks are personal I see it as crossing the line.

I have found it bullying when people then follow that with personal messages being rude and threatening.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"People should be respected for honesty, not condemned."

on an issue such as bareback you will have people with very strong views as its a contentious subject..

and in posting that you do it whilst your honesty will be respected by some equally other will condemn..

to not expect otherwise with what we know now is a bit naive..

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel like there's been quite a lot of aggression lately, I'm not sure I'd go as far as bullying though, because to me that implies a targeted attack on the same person/people.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People all have different views here and its a open forum .. All you can do if you feel strongly is stick to what is true to you .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the trying to hard to be funny/popular/obnoxious that annoys me the most.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

If you feel that there is bullying in the forums and witness it first hand then report that particular poster and allow admin to determine whether they consider it as bullying.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yes bullying goes on all the time often passed off as just a bit of fun, young men are often hounded off the site.

There is a vast difference between holding a different opinion and bullying, the respectful expression of varying opinions is to be encouraged bullying isn't..sadly its the other way round often.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

These types of threads allow posters to make indirect snipes at other posters who they make not like, disagree with on regular occasions which doesn't help

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"These types of threads allow posters to make indirect snipes at other posters who they make not like, disagree with on regular occasions which doesn't help "
yes your right. x

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"These types of threads allow posters to make indirect snipes at other posters who they make not like, disagree with on regular occasions which doesn't help "

May not make

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Yes bullying goes on all the time often passed off as just a bit of fun, young men are often hounded off the site.

There is a vast difference between holding a different opinion and bullying, the respectful expression of varying opinions is to be encouraged bullying isn't..sadly its the other way round often."

Completely agree with you.

That said, sometimes it is easy to take something as more personal than what it was designed to be.

Let's not forget that in written text ie on forums, we loose 93% of communication like facial expression, body language, tone of voice to name but a few... which can at times explain how posts can be misread.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

You need to remember when it comes to the more sensitive subjects, people tend to react on their initial gut instinct which can come across bluntly. Im sure everyone can admit to speaking before rational thought takes place at some point. This doesnt mean they are a bully or using bullying tactics

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By *ugar1andspice2Couple
over a year ago

Leicester


"Yes bullying goes on all the time often passed off as just a bit of fun, young men are often hounded off the site.

There is a vast difference between holding a different opinion and bullying, the respectful expression of varying opinions is to be encouraged bullying isn't..sadly its the other way round often.

Completely agree with you.

That said, sometimes it is easy to take something as more personal than what it was designed to be.

Let's not forget that in written text ie on forums, we loose 93% of communication like facial expression, body language, tone of voice to name but a few... which can at times explain how posts can be misread. "

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"... The web world is divorced from seeing peoples reactions.

Challenge when you see something if you feel strongly."

"If you feel that there is bullying in the forums and witness it first hand then report that particular poster and allow admin to determine whether they consider it as bullying. "

I feel this is so very important!

Bullying should indeed be challenged.

It must be possible to disagree but staying kind online?


"Yes bullying goes on all the time often passed off as just a bit of fun, young men are often hounded off the site..."
And it is NOT particularly easy being a man, nor a young man, in these days! Imagine how this makes them feel inside?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes bullying goes on all the time often passed off as just a bit of fun, young men are often hounded off the site."
Yes mostly to single men, you hardly see it to single women tho, just ignore it and report, easy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To disagree is not to bullly. It is a phrase which should be used carefully.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You need to remember when it comes to the more sensitive subjects, people tend to react on their initial gut instinct which can come across bluntly. Im sure everyone can admit to speaking before rational thought takes place at some point. This doesnt mean they are a bully or using bullying tactics"

Agreed. Even done that myself once or twice in the past. However you have the bullies on here who just like to stir up shit and get everyone else going.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When is an opinion and a different view from the OP bullying? Some of the mentions I don't see as bullying but as people posting their view on a subject raised.

If several people have a similar but different view to the OP I don't see it as bullying but people posting their views. When the attacks are personal I see it as crossing the line.

I have found it bullying when people then follow that with personal messages being rude and threatening."

People are way to quick to claim they are being bullied. Similarly the claims of cliques.

I think to suggest that bullying openly goes on is quite disrespectful to admin and the mods. Inappropriate posts are dealt with a lot quicker here than on many other sites

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I feel this is so very important!

Bullying should indeed be challenged.

It must be possible to disagree but staying kind online?

Yes bullying goes on all the time often passed off as just a bit of fun, young men are often hounded off the site...And it is NOT particularly easy being a man, nor a young man, in these days! Imagine how this makes them feel inside?

"

some of us try and respond positively and kindly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes bullying goes on all the time often passed off as just a bit of fun, young men are often hounded off the site. Yes mostly to single men, you hardly see it to single women tho, just ignore it and report, easy."

It's not that easy to ignore when you have a whole load of people against you.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"To disagree is not to bullly. It is a phrase which should be used carefully."

No it isn't but that is no reason to ignore bullying which does take place.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When is an opinion and a different view from the OP bullying? Some of the mentions I don't see as bullying but as people posting their view on a subject raised.

If several people have a similar but different view to the OP I don't see it as bullying but people posting their views. When the attacks are personal I see it as crossing the line.

I have found it bullying when people then follow that with personal messages being rude and threatening.

People are way to quick to claim they are being bullied. Similarly the claims of cliques.

I think to suggest that bullying openly goes on is quite disrespectful to admin and the mods. Inappropriate posts are dealt with a lot quicker here than on many other sites"

We agree to disagree.

The mob mentality often seen on here smacks of cliques and bullying attitudes.

But you will see it differently, I'm sure

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"When is an opinion and a different view from the OP bullying? Some of the mentions I don't see as bullying but as people posting their view on a subject raised.

If several people have a similar but different view to the OP I don't see it as bullying but people posting their views. When the attacks are personal I see it as crossing the line.

I have found it bullying when people then follow that with personal messages being rude and threatening.

People are way to quick to claim they are being bullied. Similarly the claims of cliques.

I think to suggest that bullying openly goes on is quite disrespectful to admin and the mods. Inappropriate posts are dealt with a lot quicker here than on many other sites

We agree to disagree.

The mob mentality often seen on here smacks of cliques and bullying attitudes.

But you will see it differently, I'm sure"

I agree that mob mentality does take over but I have also noticed that the mods do step in earlier now than they they used to.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Yes bullying goes on all the time often passed off as just a bit of fun, young men are often hounded off the site. Yes mostly to single men, you hardly see it to single women tho, just ignore it and report, easy.

It's not that easy to ignore when you have a whole load of people against you."

But are they bullying, all of them, or disagreeing with you? There isn't a huge conversation going on away from the thread where people are co-ordinating their comments with an aim to bully.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes bullying goes on all the time often passed off as just a bit of fun, young men are often hounded off the site. Yes mostly to single men, you hardly see it to single women tho, just ignore it and report, easy.

It's not that easy to ignore when you have a whole load of people against you."
That's right, takes time to fine tune it.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Maybe I've been online for a long time, but there's no reason for anyone to get upset on a forum. Firstly, this forum is tame compared to others, especially considering the subject matter. Secondly, it's easy to remedy when you get upset on here - log out. If someone then carries on bugging you via forums or messages then that's abuse and should be reported.

There are people who I'm never going to get on with on here. If I see their posts, I ignore them. If they try to engage me, I ignore them. My life is much too short to be bothered by someone's words on a screen.

As I said, maybe I've been online too long.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Maybe I've been online for a long time, but there's no reason for anyone to get upset on a forum. Firstly, this forum is tame compared to others, especially considering the subject matter. Secondly, it's easy to remedy when you get upset on here - log out. If someone then carries on bugging you via forums or messages then that's abuse and should be reported.

There are people who I'm never going to get on with on here. If I see their posts, I ignore them. If they try to engage me, I ignore them. My life is much too short to be bothered by someone's words on a screen.

As I said, maybe I've been online too long."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it's not bullying! it's people agreeing with each other because either:

A. they might get a shag

or

B. they can't form an opinion of their own so agree with everyone else. (who also can't form there own opinion).

nuff said bearches!! (my God, I'm so white!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't pay much attention on here. I really don't.

I just do my own thing.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Maybe I've been online for a long time, but there's no reason for anyone to get upset on a forum. Firstly, this forum is tame compared to others, especially considering the subject matter. Secondly, it's easy to remedy when you get upset on here - log out. If someone then carries on bugging you via forums or messages then that's abuse and should be reported.

There are people who I'm never going to get on with on here. If I see their posts, I ignore them. If they try to engage me, I ignore them. My life is much too short to be bothered by someone's words on a screen.

As I said, maybe I've been online too long."

That's because like me you are able to turn your back on it, some people aren't and might need a little support to do the same. I think its useful to empower people but not to cross over into blaming them for other peoples nasty behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really seen that much bullying on here, although one guy kept posting topics on here and every single topic people had a go at him in (the ones i looked at anyway) so i said something.

Tends to be when someone asks a question on here because they want to discuss something (especially if it's contraversial) then many people either reply with a non-answer or unwanted opinion, probably out of boredom, probably out of being too opinionated, and probably because they don't think before they speak.

Also, why go on about attention seeking when someone does post to get attention? So what. It's not against forum rules and not everyone on here is popular or that noticeable.

Dunno, there can be some bitchiness, might be in jest occasionally but often is just because someone has a problem with themself and is trying to deal with it in a non-productive manner.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

*the effects of other peoples nasty behaviour I should have said

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I don't pay much attention on here. I really don't.

I just do my own thing."

But you do challenge if you think something has gone OTT - I've seen your posts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't pay much attention on here. I really don't.

I just do my own thing.

But you do challenge if you think something has gone OTT - I've seen your posts.

"

I will stick up for forum users yes who I think are being castigated for no good reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's not that easy to ignore when you have a whole load of people against you."
This too!

I came across the expression 'The PC Brigade' the other day and it was an expression that was new to me.

Apparently the same group of people or online friends, by magic, seem to always be of the same opinion and AGAINST one single poster at the same time?

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By *inkxRabbitWoman
over a year ago

Mostly in GU24


"The mob mentality often seen on here smacks of cliques and bullying attitudes."

The forums are very cliquey. If you don't belong you get ignored, much like school.

I thought most people were old enough to be past that stage but I guess not everybody is.

Just be nice. It's quite easy.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"it's not bullying! it's people agreeing with each other because either:

A. they might get a shag

or

B. they can't form an opinion of their own so agree with everyone else. (who also can't form there own opinion).

nuff said bearches!! (my God, I'm so white!)"

I like you avatar picture....OMG I've just formed my own opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's not that easy to ignore when you have a whole load of people against you.This too!

I came across the expression 'The PC Brigade' the other day and it was an expression that was new to me.

Apparently the same group of people or online friends, by magic, seem to always be of the same opinion and AGAINST one single poster at the same time?"
so how do this work.? is it friends who chat together .. why by magic they are there.? I think a lot is banter and some take it to the next level as they know some will not like .

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

One man's (or woman's or tv/ts's) bullying is another's difference of opinion.

Real bullying is generally obvious, gets swiftly pointed out, the offender confined to the naughty step and often the thread disappears.

Obviously what happens via PM is out of sight - but I've seen a lot less proper vitriol and hate on the forums more recently than a few years back. And I've always considered then well moderated.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you know that according to law, depends what kind of trolling and how nasty it is.. persons engaging in Internet trolling are immediately committing an offence under the Malicious Communications Act.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Maybe I've been online for a long time, but there's no reason for anyone to get upset on a forum. Firstly, this forum is tame compared to others, especially considering the subject matter. Secondly, it's easy to remedy when you get upset on here - log out. If someone then carries on bugging you via forums or messages then that's abuse and should be reported.

There are people who I'm never going to get on with on here. If I see their posts, I ignore them. If they try to engage me, I ignore them. My life is much too short to be bothered by someone's words on a screen.

As I said, maybe I've been online too long.

That's because like me you are able to turn your back on it, some people aren't and might need a little support to do the same. I think its useful to empower people but not to cross over into blaming them for other peoples nasty behaviour."

Oh, I agree there are some really nasty posters sometimes but, and here's the thing, they tend not to last long on the forums. Eventually the bullies are found out and either move on or get a forum ban. There is no smoky room that us more regular posters meet in to discuss the latest victim, or which subject is the one to scoff at.

And I realise that some people will find online interaction more difficult than others, but its a mindset that should be cultivated. because there are some really really horrible people out there, people who would make the worst Fab bully blanch and close their laptop. And I think that if they struggle on here, they're really going to struggle on other forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Online bullying is quite easy to tackle, simply turn off your PC or whatever your logged onto

Its not real life you don't have to face it everyday

If I was on a site where I felt like I was being bullied I would simply leave the site

No we shouldn't have to do that but at the end of the day its a cure to the problem, no logging on no bullying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I posted a thread looking for couples and singles who bareback, and I got a lot of uninvited views and opinions on the practice of barebacking. If people don't like it, they don't need to pass any comments.

Many of the responses were quite nasty with people celebrating the fact they were blocking me - as if I cared. Fair enough to block, but to use it as a weapon against a fellow fab member is regrettable to say the least."

Yeah this is one of the things i'm on about. People reply to the topic as if you asked for their opinion on bareback but you didn't ask that.

Fair enough if they want to advise you about health, and just one person did that, but half the time they just want to vilify the OP.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Online bullying is quite easy to tackle, simply turn off your PC or whatever your logged onto

Its not real life you don't have to face it everyday

If I was on a site where I felt like I was being bullied I would simply leave the site

No we shouldn't have to do that but at the end of the day its a cure to the problem, no logging on no bullying "

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Maybe I've been online for a long time, but there's no reason for anyone to get upset on a forum. Firstly, this forum is tame compared to others, especially considering the subject matter. Secondly, it's easy to remedy when you get upset on here - log out. If someone then carries on bugging you via forums or messages then that's abuse and should be reported.

There are people who I'm never going to get on with on here. If I see their posts, I ignore them. If they try to engage me, I ignore them. My life is much too short to be bothered by someone's words on a screen.

As I said, maybe I've been online too long.

That's because like me you are able to turn your back on it, some people aren't and might need a little support to do the same. I think its useful to empower people but not to cross over into blaming them for other peoples nasty behaviour.

Oh, I agree there are some really nasty posters sometimes but, and here's the thing, they tend not to last long on the forums. Eventually the bullies are found out and either move on or get a forum ban. There is no smoky room that us more regular posters meet in to discuss the latest victim, or which subject is the one to scoff at.

And I realise that some people will find online interaction more difficult than others, but its a mindset that should be cultivated. because there are some really really horrible people out there, people who would make the worst Fab bully blanch and close their laptop. And I think that if they struggle on here, they're really going to struggle on other forums."

I don't disagree but I do think there's room for kindness.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"I don't disagree but I do think there's room for kindness."

There is always room for kindness. One thing that has been mentioned earlier and should also be reiterated is that, if you have nothing constructive to say on a post, then maybe move on. We all have opinions (god help us) on religion, politics, immigration and so on, but I have seen a lot of people posting mean things on advice threads about erectile problems, nerves, 'womens things' and so on and I do wonder 'what exactly did that achieve'. I just assume it says more about the poster than the original post though. Maybe, like Greedythump, I should say something.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Maybe I've been online for a long time, but there's no reason for anyone to get upset on a forum. Firstly, this forum is tame compared to others, especially considering the subject matter. Secondly, it's easy to remedy when you get upset on here - log out. If someone then carries on bugging you via forums or messages then that's abuse and should be reported.

There are people who I'm never going to get on with on here. If I see their posts, I ignore them. If they try to engage me, I ignore them. My life is much too short to be bothered by someone's words on a screen.

As I said, maybe I've been online too long.

That's because like me you are able to turn your back on it, some people aren't and might need a little support to do the same. I think its useful to empower people but not to cross over into blaming them for other peoples nasty behaviour.

Oh, I agree there are some really nasty posters sometimes but, and here's the thing, they tend not to last long on the forums. Eventually the bullies are found out and either move on or get a forum ban. There is no smoky room that us more regular posters meet in to discuss the latest victim, or which subject is the one to scoff at.

And I realise that some people will find online interaction more difficult than others, but its a mindset that should be cultivated. because there are some really really horrible people out there, people who would make the worst Fab bully blanch and close their laptop. And I think that if they struggle on here, they're really going to struggle on other forums.

I don't disagree but I do think there's room for kindness."

But let's face it some people online and not just on here are not kind they revel in keyboard bullying they type shit to get a reaction because they get off on other peoples misery. While we want everyone to be kind in reality it isn't going to happen. As long as we are monitoring our own behaviour we can't be held accountable for others behaviour...we live in a world of online now and with that it brings it own dangers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I posted a thread looking for couples and singles who bareback, and I got a lot of uninvited views and opinions on the practice of barebacking. If people don't like it, they don't need to pass any comments.

Many of the responses were quite nasty with people celebrating the fact they were blocking me - as if I cared. Fair enough to block, but to use it as a weapon against a fellow fab member is regrettable to say the least.

Yeah this is one of the things i'm on about. People reply to the topic as if you asked for their opinion on bareback but you didn't ask that.

Fair enough if they want to advise you about health, and just one person did that, but half the time they just want to vilify the OP. "

It doesn't matter what the intentions of the OP were, a thread can take on a life of it's own.

If you referring to the bareback thread, I would suggest that most people were vilifying the topic as opposed to the OP.

As for blocking, why does it have to be seen as negative. It's simply another filter tool.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't disagree but I do think there's room for kindness.

There is always room for kindness. One thing that has been mentioned earlier and should also be reiterated is that, if you have nothing constructive to say on a post, then maybe move on. We all have opinions (god help us) on religion, politics, immigration and so on, but I have seen a lot of people posting mean things on advice threads about erectile problems, nerves, 'womens things' and so on and I do wonder 'what exactly did that achieve'. I just assume it says more about the poster than the original post though. Maybe, like Greedythump, I should say something."

Definitely say something.

No way would i log offline if someone was bullying me. I'd expect others to stick up for me as well, which does happen luckily.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to express an opinion from time to time. I get taken to task, I get taken apart. I get blocked.

Vindictive and personal attacks are wrong, but I have grown a thick skin. I feel for those who are are attacked and those who are sensitive to criticism. But as a rule of thumb, if you feel strongly about a subject, say your piece. But be prepared for when it doesn't go your way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't pay much attention on here. I really don't.

I just do my own thing."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I posted a thread looking for couples and singles who bareback, and I got a lot of uninvited views and opinions on the practice of barebacking. If people don't like it, they don't need to pass any comments.

Many of the responses were quite nasty with people celebrating the fact they were blocking me - as if I cared. Fair enough to block, but to use it as a weapon against a fellow fab member is regrettable to say the least.

Yeah this is one of the things i'm on about. People reply to the topic as if you asked for their opinion on bareback but you didn't ask that.

Fair enough if they want to advise you about health, and just one person did that, but half the time they just want to vilify the OP.

It doesn't matter what the intentions of the OP were, a thread can take on a life of it's own.

If you referring to the bareback thread, I would suggest that most people were vilifying the topic as opposed to the OP.

As for blocking, why does it have to be seen as negative. It's simply another filter tool."

I'm not referring to any thread in particular, just the ones i have seen.

All he was looking for was people to fuck. No opinions on safe/unsafe sex is needed whatsoever. And yeah discussion topics will go off topic, but looking for like minded people is entirely different.

I've been accused of stuff when i stick up for the OP as well. Some people are just opinionated asshats who like to preach to others and listen to themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No way would i log offline if someone was bullying me. I'd expect others to stick up for me as well, which does happen luckily.

Of course it does, you're female.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe I've been online for a long time, but there's no reason for anyone to get upset on a forum. Firstly, this forum is tame compared to others, especially considering the subject matter. Secondly, it's easy to remedy when you get upset on here - log out. If someone then carries on bugging you via forums or messages then that's abuse and should be reported.

There are people who I'm never going to get on with on here. If I see their posts, I ignore them. If they try to engage me, I ignore them. My life is much too short to be bothered by someone's words on a screen.

As I said, maybe I've been online too long.

That's because like me you are able to turn your back on it, some people aren't and might need a little support to do the same. I think its useful to empower people but not to cross over into blaming them for other peoples nasty behaviour.

Oh, I agree there are some really nasty posters sometimes but, and here's the thing, they tend not to last long on the forums. Eventually the bullies are found out and either move on or get a forum ban. There is no smoky room that us more regular posters meet in to discuss the latest victim, or which subject is the one to scoff at.

And I realise that some people will find online interaction more difficult than others, but its a mindset that should be cultivated. because there are some really really horrible people out there, people who would make the worst Fab bully blanch and close their laptop. And I think that if they struggle on here, they're really going to struggle on other forums.

I don't disagree but I do think there's room for kindness.

But let's face it some people online and not just on here are not kind they revel in keyboard bullying they type shit to get a reaction because they get off on other peoples misery. While we want everyone to be kind in reality it isn't going to happen. As long as we are monitoring our own behaviour we can't be held accountable for others behaviour...we live in a world of online now and with that it brings it own dangers "

Our greatest online defence is never to take anything personal (even if it's intended as such).

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Our greatest online defence is never to take anything personal (even if it's intended as such)."

People say you should imagine others naked, but on this site its not really that hard.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Maybe I've been online for a long time, but there's no reason for anyone to get upset on a forum. Firstly, this forum is tame compared to others, especially considering the subject matter. Secondly, it's easy to remedy when you get upset on here - log out. If someone then carries on bugging you via forums or messages then that's abuse and should be reported.

There are people who I'm never going to get on with on here. If I see their posts, I ignore them. If they try to engage me, I ignore them. My life is much too short to be bothered by someone's words on a screen.

As I said, maybe I've been online too long.

That's because like me you are able to turn your back on it, some people aren't and might need a little support to do the same. I think its useful to empower people but not to cross over into blaming them for other peoples nasty behaviour.

Oh, I agree there are some really nasty posters sometimes but, and here's the thing, they tend not to last long on the forums. Eventually the bullies are found out and either move on or get a forum ban. There is no smoky room that us more regular posters meet in to discuss the latest victim, or which subject is the one to scoff at.

And I realise that some people will find online interaction more difficult than others, but its a mindset that should be cultivated. because there are some really really horrible people out there, people who would make the worst Fab bully blanch and close their laptop. And I think that if they struggle on here, they're really going to struggle on other forums.

I don't disagree but I do think there's room for kindness.

But let's face it some people online and not just on here are not kind they revel in keyboard bullying they type shit to get a reaction because they get off on other peoples misery. While we want everyone to be kind in reality it isn't going to happen. As long as we are monitoring our own behaviour we can't be held accountable for others behaviour...we live in a world of online now and with that it brings it own dangers

Our greatest online defence is never to take anything personal (even if it's intended as such)."

I agree I've had a fair few things said about me by people who haven't even met me...I have a laugh and I move on...in my eyes thry are strangers on the Internet

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"No way would i log offline if someone was bullying me. I'd expect others to stick up for me as well, which does happen luckily.

Of course it does, you're female....."

Are you suggesting the White knight clan

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Maybe I've been online for a long time, but there's no reason for anyone to get upset on a forum. Firstly, this forum is tame compared to others, especially considering the subject matter. Secondly, it's easy to remedy when you get upset on here - log out. If someone then carries on bugging you via forums or messages then that's abuse and should be reported.

There are people who I'm never going to get on with on here. If I see their posts, I ignore them. If they try to engage me, I ignore them. My life is much too short to be bothered by someone's words on a screen.

As I said, maybe I've been online too long.

That's because like me you are able to turn your back on it, some people aren't and might need a little support to do the same. I think its useful to empower people but not to cross over into blaming them for other peoples nasty behaviour.

Oh, I agree there are some really nasty posters sometimes but, and here's the thing, they tend not to last long on the forums. Eventually the bullies are found out and either move on or get a forum ban. There is no smoky room that us more regular posters meet in to discuss the latest victim, or which subject is the one to scoff at.

And I realise that some people will find online interaction more difficult than others, but its a mindset that should be cultivated. because there are some really really horrible people out there, people who would make the worst Fab bully blanch and close their laptop. And I think that if they struggle on here, they're really going to struggle on other forums.

I don't disagree but I do think there's room for kindness.

But let's face it some people online and not just on here are not kind they revel in keyboard bullying they type shit to get a reaction because they get off on other peoples misery. While we want everyone to be kind in reality it isn't going to happen. As long as we are monitoring our own behaviour we can't be held accountable for others behaviour...we live in a world of online now and with that it brings it own dangers "

we can only be held accountable for our own behaviour I agree but I also think that if we see someone else behaving badly we can step in and challenge it. I don't want to live in a world on line or off where we all pass by on the other side.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...

Our greatest online defence is never to take anything personal (even if it's intended as such)."

Such a funny thread. So many people irate over absolutely nothing.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"

But let's face it some people online and not just on here are not kind they revel in keyboard bullying they type shit to get a reaction because they get off on other peoples misery. While we want everyone to be kind in reality it isn't going to happen. As long as we are monitoring our own behaviour we can't be held accountable for others behaviour...we live in a world of online now and with that it brings it own dangers

we can only be held accountable for our own behaviour I agree but I also think that if we see someone else behaving badly we can step in and challenge it. I don't want to live in a world on line or off where we all pass by on the other side."

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No way would i log offline if someone was bullying me. I'd expect others to stick up for me as well, which does happen luckily.

Of course it does, you're female.....

Are you suggesting the White knight clan "

I'm VERY sensitive, and I'm SO concerned about whatever it is that YOU'RE concerned about...I'm not like the OTHERS... now can I fist you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our greatest online defence is never to take anything personal (even if it's intended as such).

People say you should imagine others naked, but on this site its not really that hard. "

We've had the same thought. Perhaps us girls could think of Mr Bean, Peewee Herman or some other such character behind the screen, that would have us roaring with laughter if they made an online "attack".

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"No way would i log offline if someone was bullying me. I'd expect others to stick up for me as well, which does happen luckily.

Of course it does, you're female.....

Are you suggesting the White knight clan

I'm VERY sensitive, and I'm SO concerned about whatever it is that YOU'RE concerned about...I'm not like the OTHERS... now can I fist you?"

Hell no

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of people on the forums I can't stand but would never belittle them or make remarks to them.

I just tend to keep my feelings to myself

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"No way would i log offline if someone was bullying me. I'd expect others to stick up for me as well, which does happen luckily.

Of course it does, you're female.....

Are you suggesting the White knight clan

I'm VERY sensitive, and I'm SO concerned about whatever it is that YOU'RE concerned about...I'm not like the OTHERS... now can I fist you?"

I saw one of those on another post earlier. It makes me cringe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ta dah!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No way would i log offline if someone was bullying me. I'd expect others to stick up for me as well, which does happen luckily.

Of course it does, you're female....."

Women stick up for me too I give my arguments constructively, word it in a way that makes sense- and definitely in a way that makes more sense than the bully. That gives others the confidence to agree with me.

Plus i never back down, people like to back up strong people in case they need them.

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By *SweetVioletxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Personally I have seen very little of what I would call bullying on the forums.

There are certain topics which will get a response but I credit most OPs with enough intelligence that they know when they start a thread they are going to get an adverse reaction.

Some views need to be challenged and just because you don't like the response of the majority does not mean it's bullying.

Some of the nonsense threads that get posted up are to get a reaction and are looking for people to respond.

Equally some members scan the threads looking for something they can object to and voice their opinion.

Both groups need to take responsibility for their actions.

However at the end of the day this is a fairly anonymous sex site which we could all live without if we had to and no one is forced to post or participate on the forums if they don't like the responses they get or see.

The majority of members manage their FAB life without even stepping foot in the forums.

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By *cotbbtopMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"These types of threads allow posters to make indirect snipes at other posters who they make not like, disagree with on regular occasions which doesn't help "

If other posters didn't snipe in the first place, nobody would need post such a thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes think people want the forum to be a big happy love in full of banal chitchat. I couldn't imagine anything worse. I'm not here to seek popularity nor to pander toi other people's egos or sensitivities. It's a forum. There will be people you like, people you don't like. People you respect, people you loathe. I say what I think and I'll never apologise for that. And I don't take generally take offence by people disagreeing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Plus i never back down, people like to back up strong people in case they need them."

Even when you're wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Humans are pack animals.

As a social experiment goes, these forums take some beating.

You've got the liberals vs the radicals vs the lefties vs the right wing vs the hardliners vs the Googlers vs the prima donnas... Luckily they all unite in hating me. Ha bloody splitters

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think there is a huge misunderstanding of what bullying is. One thing it isn't is having and voicing a different opinion.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Some people really need to grow a pair!

I was bullied, both physically and mentally, through most of my school life, so I know what REAL bullying is like!

If someone disagreeing with you and telling you you are wrong is upsetting, then step away from public forums, that aint bullying, its called having an opinion ffs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Plus i never back down, people like to back up strong people in case they need them.

Even when you're wrong?"

I concede if someone makes a better argument and i agree with them, won't happen if i see someone(s) bullying though.

I won't stand by and watch a person try to make someone else feel bad for their choices, even if i disagree with those choices or not.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Some people really need to grow a pair!

I was bullied, both physically and mentally, through most of my school life, so I know what REAL bullying is like!

If someone disagreeing with you and telling you you are wrong is upsetting, then step away from public forums, that aint bullying, its called having an opinion ffs! "

The op was referring to bullying not disagreement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Humans are pack animals.

As a social experiment goes, these forums take some beating.

You've got the liberals vs the radicals vs the lefties vs the right wing vs the hardliners vs the Googlers vs the prima donnas... Luckily they all unite in hating me. Ha bloody splitters"

Amen to that!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Disconnect is on BBC2 shortly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Humans are pack animals.

As a social experiment goes, these forums take some beating.

You've got the liberals vs the radicals vs the lefties vs the right wing vs the hardliners vs the Googlers vs the prima donnas... Luckily they all unite in hating me. Ha bloody splitters

Amen to that!"
.

Infamy infamy they've all got it in for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Personally I have seen very little of what I would call bullying on the forums.

There are certain topics which will get a response but I credit most OPs with enough intelligence that they know when they start a thread they are going to get an adverse reaction.

Some views need to be challenged and just because you don't like the response of the majority does not mean it's bullying.

Some of the nonsense threads that get posted up are to get a reaction and are looking for people to respond.

Equally some members scan the threads looking for something they can object to and voice their opinion.

Both groups need to take responsibility for their actions.

However at the end of the day this is a fairly anonymous sex site which we could all live without if we had to and no one is forced to post or participate on the forums if they don't like the responses they get or see.

The majority of members manage their FAB life without even stepping foot in the forums.

"

EXACTLY!

We end up with the same people expressing the same views on the same topics because others are discouraged, dissuaded from joining in or bullied when they do.

So they disappear.

And we end up with the same people expressing the same views on the same topics.....

If you don't believe me, do a search on 'bullying' or, more noticeably, 'cliques'. You will see a number of people saying they don't post on the forums because of the pack mentality, which equates to bullying in my mind

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I will be the first to say sometimes these forums are not a friendly place as us mods have to deal with the fall out, but if there was bullying going on it would be stamped out too.

Disagreeing with someone on a thread is not bullying, even a few people disagreeing is not bullying, getting personal over the person posting and everyone joining in on the bandwagon is certainly not pleasant... so the best thing to do is to report anything you think is not right and a mod may have missed and Admin can take a look.

The best piece of advice is from Admin on the summary of the forum rules which I will paste onto the next post.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

In summary: If you treat other people with respect, you can't go far wrong.

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