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Farting...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How many dates does it take you to be on farting terms ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been with Mrs P for twenty five years and she's never trumped in front of me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its gonna be LOUD!!!! x x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its gonna be LOUD!!!! x x"

That's so funny lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been with Mrs P for twenty five years and she's never trumped in front of me. "
lol its rear we ever do ... its not lady like is it .

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

my wife never farts in front of me

she always lets me go first

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My ex used to fart all the time, never bothered us lol

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley


"I've been with Mrs P for twenty five years and she's never trumped in front of me. lol its rear we ever do ... its not lady like is it . "

That typo was so apt Jo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been with Mrs P for twenty five years and she's never trumped in front of me. lol its rear we ever do ... its not lady like is it .

That typo was so apt Jo "

when I do something wrong its right , lolol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never,ever,ever be on farting terms with a man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know what too,I can't recall any of my regular partners farting in my presence. Have men stopped farting?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread stinks!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you don't fart in front of your partner how the hell are you going to manage to push a baby out in front of him? Most women empty anything in their bowel when pushing, wind poo or whatever else is there, maybe that butt plug you lost months ago!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kate doesn't fart, she just coughs a lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You know what too,I can't recall any of my regular partners farting in my presence. Have men stopped farting? "
Next time feed him beans . lol Beans beans good for your heart . Beans beans make you fart .

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman
over a year ago

Hereabouts


"I've been with Mrs P for twenty five years and she's never trumped in front of me. "

If she wears thongs, they cut her bum hole in half so rather than it vibrating it just comes out like a puff of air! Biggest mystery of the world solved! Shh don't tell anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you don't fart in front of your partner how the hell are you going to manage to push a baby out in front of him? Most women empty anything in their bowel when pushing, wind poo or whatever else is there, maybe that butt plug you lost months ago!! "
I had 4 , lol I cant remember that bit I was high on gas and air , lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been with Mrs P for twenty five years and she's never trumped in front of me.

If she wears thongs, they cut her bum hole in half so rather than it vibrating it just comes out like a puff of air! Biggest mystery of the world solved! Shh don't tell anyone "

Well that's shattered the illusion. I'll have to apologise to the dog.

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman
over a year ago

Hereabouts


"I've been with Mrs P for twenty five years and she's never trumped in front of me.

If she wears thongs, they cut her bum hole in half so rather than it vibrating it just comes out like a puff of air! Biggest mystery of the world solved! Shh don't tell anyone

Well that's shattered the illusion. I'll have to apologise to the dog. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Farting always ends in someone smiling lol usually the guilty party

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

We have farting competions, jay had never farted in front of anyone until he met me now he can give me a run for my money

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

One of the funniest moments I can remember is stood at the till queue in boots with the ex, her arms laden with shopping. I quietly farted, the aroma arrived and I said loudly 'Jesus Christ, you dirty cow' and promptly left the shop leaving her stood in the smog and the other shoppers

She wasn't a pleased, I was in tears outside lol

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester


"Never,ever,ever be on farting terms with a man."

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

my hubby has a stomach problem at mo and makes me jump when he lets one go in bed im surprised I wake up in the morning with the smell !!!!

he wouldn't care who he was with... I swear he would let one go in front of the queen lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

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By *inkxRabbitWoman
over a year ago

Mostly in GU24

"Let yer wind gang free wherever you may be" became my motto.

Last year I had to have Botox injections to my inner rectal sphincter which unfortunately made me incontinent of flatus. I was really embarrassed to start with, especially when, on my first day in a new job, I got up and walked to the printer, dropping a series of farts my grandad would have been proud of.

My meets have frequently been punctuated by my botty burps, at the most embarrassing moments since last September. I'm pleased to say it's less frequent now lol.

It's nade me laugh anyway!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the guy I think. I was with my ex 10 years and I conciously farted in front of him twice (not including sleep farts) He didn't like farting but one time he was hitting me with an inflatable banana and I farted accidentally cos I was laughing so much. Another time I didn't know he was in the room sobibdone a big one but he was in the walk in wardrobe and just stepped out and looked at me in disgust!

That being said, I dated a guy for just over a year and he'd fart and I'd fart but both found it funny!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know what that word was I wrote! I meant "so I done"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont know if you remember but Chris Tarrent had his show of bloopers.

I saw this one where the girl, all dolled up came down her stairs holding her belly with a rumble noise.

Her date knocked at the door and her Proud Dad saw her off to the car.

Her date walked her round to her door and opened it for her.

She got in the car a farted as quick as possible until her date reached his door.

As he got in he said "have you met my mate Dave?" grinning in the back seat...

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By *ust MonicaWoman
over a year ago

CAMBRIDGESHIRE


"Never,ever,ever be on farting terms with a man."

exactly!

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By *qua vitaeWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire/Midlands

My FWB and I fart in front of one another all the time. A bit difficult not to in certain positions.

He's been promising for ages to give me a Dutch oven one day!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/02/15 23:57:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that what I think it is?

A dutch oven!!! Lol

A fart in the hand and smell that or one under the sheets?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you don't fart in front of your partner how the hell are you going to manage to push a baby out in front of him? Most women empty anything in their bowel when pushing, wind poo or whatever else is there, maybe that butt plug you lost months ago!! "

oh fuck..ill stick with condoms now for evermore..

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By *smCouple
over a year ago

Liskeard

I state quite clearly on my profile that I fart .. And will not hide that fact ...

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

My other half used to go out the room to fart. He'd get out of bed and go to the bathroom.

Fourteen months down the line I'm upstairs because he keeps wanting me to "pull his finger" and farts.

The glee he expresses at trumping is rather tragic!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How many dates does it take you to be on farting terms ? "

Half a packet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely disgusting if you ask me. The very height of bad manners

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