FabSwingers.com forum: A better you than you

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does anyone ever wonder, if you were like a car, or at least your outward attributes (how society perceives you) like your looks, social skills, voice, perceived intelligence etc, if SOMEONE ELSE was the driver, would they be happier and more successful at your life than YOU are?

Could someone else use your attributes more productively than you can - would they be a better you than you?

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah definitely.

I'm highly intelligent, absorb things and learn really quickly, but my poor organisational skills means i am wasted. Could easily do an important job but am also a lazy bitch and fundamentally don't have any aspirations. I also get on with people similar so got no-one around to motivate me into becoming a 'better' person. I do actually rationalise this way of thinking in a very sociopathic way too.

Anyone would be better than me, can see why sloth is a vice really. I'm not too bothered about it though, but very aware i've wasted my life and going to continue doing that.

I used to be very social but changed, funnily enough being abused is what made me great at being social in the first place, i had to escape my abuser by getting people to like me, i had to notice cues in people to know if i would bve safe or not, then being abused by someone i escaped to took that out of me, don't know if i'd like to go back to being more social, sometimes i do wat to but most of the time i'd rather socialise on the internet where i can't get any visual clues from other people and can live in my little, perfect fantasy bubble.

I'm happy as i am.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just to clarify, this isn't some 'Invasion of the Bodysnatchers' type subject, it's more of a - if you REALLY gave it your all in life, 100% of every good thing you can muster, what could you acquire, and what could you achieve, only with what you have right now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. Im the best me there is.

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

I know that if I put more effort into everything I do, I could achieve so much more. I try my best though and don't think I'm doing too bad!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I've aalready been the best I can be, twenty years ago, stronger, faster,fitter and thinner!! Hahaha. P.

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

"I know that if I put more effort into everything I do, I could achieve so much more. I try my best though and don't think I'm doing too bad!"

Love the profile pic, very subtle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a dreamer, I procrastinate a lot. I have great ideas and goals that I know i can put my talent towards and achieve great things. But I don't. Not putting those things into place is my biggest flaw. I know someone else would do better than for me if they were me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe people are their own biggest critics..be happy in your own skin be it physically or mentally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im a dreamer, I procrastinate a lot. I have great ideas and goals that I know i can put my talent towards and achieve great things. But I don't. Not putting those things into place is my biggest flaw. I know someone else would do better than for me if they were me "

Don't think like that. Its so defeatist. Surround yourself with people who enable you to become everything you dream of being. People Who help you reach your dreams and goals, who don't ask why or criticise them. Be everything you want to be x

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

If they were me, they'd also have all the limitations that hold me back, (meaning the ways in which I hold myself back), so no, I don't think so.

Could anyone be a better you and make more of you than you do Mr. brain?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they were me, they'd also have all the limitations that hold me back, (meaning the ways in which I hold myself back), so no, I don't think so.

Could anyone be a better you and make more of you than you do Mr. brain?"

Surely your perceived limitations make you who you. So are they bad?

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

By the sound of it, you've already overcome a lot, very successfully. Be proud of what you've done, don't regret what you haven't.

And if you really want to do more, look at what you've already done, that many people wouldn't have managed and realise that you can do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone ever wonder, if you were like a car, or at least your outward attributes (how society perceives you) like your looks, social skills, voice, perceived intelligence etc, if SOMEONE ELSE was the driver, would they be happier and more successful at your life than YOU are?

Could someone else use your attributes more productively than you can - would they be a better you than you?"

Yes they probably would be. However I'm sure my family and friends would disagree. I'm always told how lucky I am, and when my friends pimp me out I'm always suprised at what they say.. The grass is always greener and I need to learn when I have it all to stop looking for more. Although I think that's intrinsically part of me, and to some extent I quite like my constant aspirations for more... It does make me very hard to live with though

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"If they were me, they'd also have all the limitations that hold me back, (meaning the ways in which I hold myself back), so no, I don't think so.

Could anyone be a better you and make more of you than you do Mr. brain?

Surely your perceived limitations make you who you. So are they bad?"

What do you think? As an example, is low self-esteem bad? Is there a positive aspect to it? Just because it's part of who someone is, does that make it a good thing?

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By *ust_for_laughsCouple
over a year ago

Hinckley

I'm sure a lot of people could take what I have, run with it and create a better me.

I thought for years that I was just a lazy bastard until I was diagnosed with dyslexia at University; it turns out I struggle to process information and the default setting is to not bother because you can't. I realise now that this held me back for years and hopefully it's not too late to develop coping strategies, like I did with my reading and writing which apparently should be nowhere near the levels they are at?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they were me, they'd also have all the limitations that hold me back, (meaning the ways in which I hold myself back), so no, I don't think so.

Could anyone be a better you and make more of you than you do Mr. brain?

Surely your perceived limitations make you who you. So are they bad?

What do you think? As an example, is low self-esteem bad? Is there a positive aspect to it? Just because it's part of who someone is, does that make it a good thing?"

Need a better example..low esteem how does that manifest itself..shy, not overt..shy can be sexy, a hidden quality that makes a man want to know more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah....coz I'm a lazy arsed biatch!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"If they were me, they'd also have all the limitations that hold me back, (meaning the ways in which I hold myself back), so no, I don't think so.

Could anyone be a better you and make more of you than you do Mr. brain?

Surely your perceived limitations make you who you. So are they bad?

What do you think? As an example, is low self-esteem bad? Is there a positive aspect to it? Just because it's part of who someone is, does that make it a good thing?

Need a better example..low esteem how does that manifest itself..shy, not overt..shy can be sexy, a hidden quality that makes a man want to know more"

Do you think someone who has low self-esteem could possibly make the most of their talents? Or even see all their talents to their full extent?

This is about whether low self-esteem is good for the person, not whether it manifests in ways that others find attractive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they were me, they'd also have all the limitations that hold me back, (meaning the ways in which I hold myself back), so no, I don't think so.

Could anyone be a better you and make more of you than you do Mr. brain?

Surely your perceived limitations make you who you. So are they bad?

What do you think? As an example, is low self-esteem bad? Is there a positive aspect to it? Just because it's part of who someone is, does that make it a good thing?

Need a better example..low esteem how does that manifest itself..shy, not overt..shy can be sexy, a hidden quality that makes a man want to know more

Do you think someone who has low self-esteem could possibly make the most of their talents? Or even see all their talents to their full extent?

This is about whether low self-esteem is good for the person, not whether it manifests in ways that others find attractive

I think it's really important to surround yourself with people who actively enable you to reach your goals. Find ways to support you and encourage you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they were me, they'd also have all the limitations that hold me back, (meaning the ways in which I hold myself back), so no, I don't think so.

Could anyone be a better you and make more of you than you do Mr. brain?

Surely your perceived limitations make you who you. So are they bad?

What do you think? As an example, is low self-esteem bad? Is there a positive aspect to it? Just because it's part of who someone is, does that make it a good thing?

Need a better example..low esteem how does that manifest itself..shy, not overt..shy can be sexy, a hidden quality that makes a man want to know more

Do you think someone who has low self-esteem could possibly make the most of their talents? Or even see all their talents to their full extent?

This is about whether low self-esteem is good for the person, not whether it manifests in ways that others find attractive

Okay bad example..knowing you have low self esteem is a step to improvement..how many cocky arrogant people do you know who never deliver. I'd argue if you feel you have low self esteem you probably do more to overcome and people don't see what you do. Back to my point of people are over critical of themselves

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

By the way.. I didn't mean that I couldn't be better. I was replying to the first bit that said have you ever wondered..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they were me, they'd also have all the limitations that hold me back, (meaning the ways in which I hold myself back), so no, I don't think so.

Could anyone be a better you and make more of you than you do Mr. brain?

Surely your perceived limitations make you who you. So are they bad?

What do you think? As an example, is low self-esteem bad? Is there a positive aspect to it? Just because it's part of who someone is, does that make it a good thing?

Need a better example..low esteem how does that manifest itself..shy, not overt..shy can be sexy, a hidden quality that makes a man want to know more

Do you think someone who has low self-esteem could possibly make the most of their talents? Or even see all their talents to their full extent?

This is about whether low self-esteem is good for the person, not whether it manifests in ways that others find attractive

You can't get yourself out of low self esteem though, because mentally someone has 'put you in your place' and you believe them.

Takes a lot of unconditional love to get back self worth. Then you can see yourself for who you really are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

right here goes, short and sweet for y'all.

The brain is what the OP refers to as your physical characteristics, or whatever he said exactly.

The mind is YOU. your soul,personality - call it what you want.

so the answer to OPS question is yes.

a different 'mind' can drive the brain to achieve more.