FabSwingers.com forum: self esteem

By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

my hubby is driving me mad at mo

since I got out of hospital all he does is put me down ... other people have noticed it as he tends to say things in front of every one!!

if my hair is a mess etc don't like what im wearing etc

ive asked him to stop it but he thinks its amusing but its knocking my self esteem like crazy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tell him, if he doesnt appriciate what a good thing he has you'll go elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like a prick obviously cant think that much of you.

Just my opinion

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

it isn't nice, either way.

and if I am honest, you have put him down on here.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I assume he's a fault-free adonis then, without any flaws himself.

If he doesn't stop just say how much he's hurting you. If he still doesn't stop, tell him he's a twat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although having lost my medical license in 2004 I'd diagnose his behaviour as tiny penis syndrome.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

"Sounds like a prick obviously cant think that much of you.

Just my opinion

I think when a man (or anyone, come to that) starts behaving in that way, it is because he is feeling insecure in himself.

Try talking to him about it - but not when he's just done it, and explain how crap it makes you feel.

If he ignores you and continues to put you down, then he really is being a complete and utter tosser!!

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"it isn't nice, either way.

and if I am honest, you have put him down on here.

guilty as charged lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like a prick obviously cant think that much of you.

Just my opinion

I think when a man (or anyone, come to that) starts behaving in that way, it is because he is feeling insecure in himself.

Try talking to him about it - but not when he's just done it, and explain how crap it makes you feel.

If he ignores you and continues to put you down, then he really is being a complete and utter tosser!! "

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

I think when a man (or anyone, come to that) starts behaving in that way, it is because he is feeling insecure in himself.

Try talking to him about it - but not when he's just done it, and explain how crap it makes you feel.

I wonder if the two things are related? Maybe he was worried by your stay in hospital, and this is his defence mechanism to his feelings of insecurity/worries about losing you. A bit like pulling the pig-tails of the girl you really fancy at.school, maybe?

Hope talking to him helps.

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's not on. Does he know it's getting to you? If he does and is still doing it, think you need a serious chat. He's making you feel the opposite of how a husband should make you feel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll cheer you Up OP

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

I think when a man (or anyone, come to that) starts behaving in that way, it is because he is feeling insecure in himself.

Try talking to him about it - but not when he's just done it, and explain how crap it makes you feel.

Hope talking to him helps.

Mr ddc"

could be right there

he kept saying to my mum that he couldn't live without me he thinks its funny when he knows it annoys me

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"I'll cheer you Up OP

your pic did that already

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By *hell82Woman
over a year ago

Bristol

I've just about had enough of some men who think it's okay to treat women like shit! Honestly they need to look in mirror twats!

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By *pple16Man
over a year ago

Macclesfield

any one putting some one down is trying to make them selves feel better.

fuck him off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the double standards on here......

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I love the double standards on here......"

indeed

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"it isn't nice, either way.

and if I am honest, you have put him down on here.

Quite a few times as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't rise to the bait, he'll get bored if you don't react.

Then look in the mirror and tell yourself you're strong, gorgeous woman who doesn't need to worry what others think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he's annoyed you're on a swinging site?

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

I think when a man (or anyone, come to that) starts behaving in that way, it is because he is feeling insecure in himself.

Try talking to him about it - but not when he's just done it, and explain how crap it makes you feel.

Hope talking to him helps.

Mr ddc

could be right there

he kept saying to my mum that he couldn't live without me he thinks its funny when he knows it annoys me"

I think what he is enjoying is getting a reaction from you...try a bit of reverse psychology...next time he does it, either ignore it or act your arse off and laugh like a lunatic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think what he is enjoying is getting a reaction from you...try a bit of reverse psychology...next time he does it, either ignore it or act your arse off and laugh like a lunatic

Or stab with a fork whilst sleeping

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By *oveSlutForUseCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

Single woman profile says hubby is annoyed with her.

Hmmm.

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By *4nc3rCouple
over a year ago

Clacton-On-Sea, Essex

The thing is, there is a fine line but a big difference between "Things that annoy you" and "Things that upset you" that often we just don't understand when we're comfortable with someone.

I'm sure it is likely a misunderstanding on his side, whilst he may be trying to wind you up in some sick joke (c'mon we're all guilty of a little teasing of the wrong kind..) he likely doesn't understand that actually it is HURTING you in the wrong way.

It's important to tell him that, as others have said though, not in the moment he's done it.

If you bring the conversation up at an unusual time he will more likely see it is affecting you constantly rather than assuming it's a spur of the moment annoyance.

But dig a little deeper, show how much you love him and help him understand that he doesn't need to put you down to secure your place by his side, you need each others love and support.

If that doesn't work well there's plenty more fish in the sea

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

could be right there

he kept saying to my mum that he couldn't live without me he thinks its funny when he knows it annoys me"

At least the first bit is good, sounds like a quiet word, with reassurance that he's not going to lose you that easily, should put you both back on track.

Something like "I'm not ready to pop my clogs yet, now can we have less of the bullshit", then snuggle, snuggle.

Not saying it works every time, but us men are nothing if not malleable!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe he thinks that changing your hair or clothes would be easy to do, its not as if he is saying you are ugly is it?

maybe he thinks you don't care about pleasing him.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

I think what he is enjoying is getting a reaction from you...try a bit of reverse psychology...next time he does it, either ignore it or act your arse off and laugh like a lunatic

Or stab with a fork whilst sleeping

That was going to be next suggestion...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Christ you lot are a bundle of human compassion aren't you?!

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By *onnyeasygoingMan
over a year ago

Somewhere on the M62 between 24 and 14

Perhaps he was like this before and with you being away has given you a new perspective. A lot of people change, but because you are on top of them all the time(figuratively speaking) you tend not to notice.

I suspect he still has the same feelings for you now as he had before you went in, but he's just a man who struggles to express himself and uses the 'jokey' way rather than a correct way of communication.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Single woman profile says hubby is annoyed with her.

Hmmm."

Oh don't say that, I so seldom do serious posts, and now I'm the gullible, malleable fool again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ruby, so sorry to hear how your husband treats you. Mental abuse can be as cruel as any form of abuse and is so wrong. Have you considered speaking to him and expressing how it affects you? Have you any family or close friends you can talk to and express how you feel, perhaps they can support you and be there for you if you wish to discuss how you feel with him.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Christ you lot are a bundle of human compassion aren't you?!

Why do you think that? Because some of us remember previous thread?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single woman profile says hubby is annoyed with her.

Hmmm."

Ruby's never hidden it, you must be new....

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Christ you lot are a bundle of human compassion aren't you?!

Why do you think that? Because some of us remember previous thread?

There's another thread?

"Who killed Lucy?"?

Oh bugger, I'm off elsewhere to do knob jokes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single woman profile says hubby is annoyed with her.

Hmmm.

Ruby's never hidden it, you must be new...."

Well If her husband knows she's on here maybe that's why he gets back at her like this?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Sad to hear you're going through this, it's depressing anyone would do that.

Practice saying a firm 'Stop' or no, each time he does it. Rehearse it in your mind if needed too.

And speak again to him in private telling him that it's not acceptable ever. Make it clear for him that you becoming upset is not in the slightest bit funny and the consequences if he continues.

It may be because he's unhappy about something but isn't saying it. There's no excuse if he doesn't, that's his problem.

Keep yourself uplifted and keep your strength to stop him firmly in his tracks when he may try to do it again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single woman profile says hubby is annoyed with her.

Hmmm.

Ruby's never hidden it, you must be new....

Well If her husband knows she's on here maybe that's why he gets back at her like this?"

Maybe, maybe not.

I just answer the question that's asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mean to be rude, but why post about it on here? Surely there are people close to you who know you both and would give much better "advice" as to why he is possibly behaving the way he is? And the right way to go about addressing it...

None of us know either of you, and everything said on here will be one sided to a degree. Which just isn't real life and won't help.

That said, I hope it works out for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"tell him, if he doesnt appriciate what a good thing he has you'll go elsewhere

She does

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single woman profile says hubby is annoyed with her.

Hmmm.

Ruby's never hidden it, you must be new....

Well If her husband knows she's on here maybe that's why he gets back at her like this?

Maybe, maybe not.

I just answer the question that's asked."

I wonder if a man in the same position would get the same shoulder to cry on.

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"Single woman profile says hubby is annoyed with her.

Hmmm.

Ruby's never hidden it, you must be new....

Well If her husband knows she's on here maybe that's why he gets back at her like this?

Maybe, maybe not.

I just answer the question that's asked."

he knows I come on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Christ you lot are a bundle of human compassion aren't you?!

Why do you think that? Because some of us remember previous thread?

I don't know what the previous thread is. I was just answering the question on this one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single woman profile says hubby is annoyed with her.

Hmmm.

Ruby's never hidden it, you must be new....

Well If her husband knows she's on here maybe that's why he gets back at her like this?

Maybe, maybe not.

I just answer the question that's asked.

I wonder if a man in the same position would get the same shoulder to cry on."

Probably not, but that doesn't make it right either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single woman profile says hubby is annoyed with her.

Hmmm.

Ruby's never hidden it, you must be new....

Well If her husband knows she's on here maybe that's why he gets back at her like this?

Maybe, maybe not.

I just answer the question that's asked.

I wonder if a man in the same position would get the same shoulder to cry on.

Probably not, but that doesn't make it right either. "

To cheat on your partner?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single woman profile says hubby is annoyed with her.

Hmmm.

Ruby's never hidden it, you must be new....

Well If her husband knows she's on here maybe that's why he gets back at her like this?

Maybe, maybe not.

I just answer the question that's asked.

I wonder if a man in the same position would get the same shoulder to cry on.

Probably not, but that doesn't make it right either.

To cheat on your partner?"

No to pick at and criticise other people's situation/actions. It shouldn't happen to men either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single woman profile says hubby is annoyed with her.

Hmmm.

Ruby's never hidden it, you must be new....

Well If her husband knows she's on here maybe that's why he gets back at her like this?

Maybe, maybe not.

I just answer the question that's asked.

I wonder if a man in the same position would get the same shoulder to cry on.

Probably not, but that doesn't make it right either.

To cheat on your partner?

No to pick at and criticise other people's situation/actions. It shouldn't happen to men either. "

So it's ok to cheat on your partner?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single woman profile says hubby is annoyed with her.

Hmmm.

Ruby's never hidden it, you must be new....

Well If her husband knows she's on here maybe that's why he gets back at her like this?

Maybe, maybe not.

I just answer the question that's asked.

I wonder if a man in the same position would get the same shoulder to cry on."

I doubt it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single woman profile says hubby is annoyed with her.

Hmmm.

Ruby's never hidden it, you must be new....

Well If her husband knows she's on here maybe that's why he gets back at her like this?

Maybe, maybe not.

I just answer the question that's asked.

I wonder if a man in the same position would get the same shoulder to cry on.

Probably not, but that doesn't make it right either.

To cheat on your partner?

No to pick at and criticise other people's situation/actions. It shouldn't happen to men either. "

Or that behavior is worse than cheating on your partner?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single woman profile says hubby is annoyed with her.

Hmmm.

Ruby's never hidden it, you must be new....

Well If her husband knows she's on here maybe that's why he gets back at her like this?

Maybe, maybe not.

I just answer the question that's asked.

I wonder if a man in the same position would get the same shoulder to cry on.

Probably not, but that doesn't make it right either.

To cheat on your partner?

No to pick at and criticise other people's situation/actions. It shouldn't happen to men either.

So it's ok to cheat on your partner?"

People do plenty of things I don't agree with; I try to ignore them rather than pass comment on them. I cheat on my husband, but I don't expect everything I say to be picked apart as a result of that.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

i answered the same as I would if the OP was a male and I stand by it, it is not nice either party doing it....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single woman profile says hubby is annoyed with her.

Hmmm.

Ruby's never hidden it, you must be new....

Well If her husband knows she's on here maybe that's why he gets back at her like this?

Maybe, maybe not.

I just answer the question that's asked.

I wonder if a man in the same position would get the same shoulder to cry on.

Probably not, but that doesn't make it right either.

To cheat on your partner?

No to pick at and criticise other people's situation/actions. It shouldn't happen to men either.

So it's ok to cheat on your partner?

Ah, that explains it lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah, that explains it lol!

Not really, I had the same _iews long before I was in this situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant wait till some lad posts a thread about his relationships outside fab.... Lets see how that goes........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cant wait till some lad posts a thread about his relationships outside fab.... Lets see how that goes........"

My _iew is the same regardless of gender.

Can't speak for others though.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So to surmise, if you have an annoying partner it's ok to cheat. Job done. Next!

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By *omaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"my hubby is driving me mad at mo

since I got out of hospital all he does is put me down ... other people have noticed it as he tends to say things in front of every one!!

if my hair is a mess etc don't like what im wearing etc

ive asked him to stop it but he thinks its amusing but its knocking my self esteem like crazy "

Not nice, jesting is one thing but to keep at it is just nasty. . . Time for a serious airing and leave him in no doubt that this must stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So to surmise, if you have an annoying partner it's ok to cheat. Job done. Next!"

No one said that, I certainly didn't.

I simply said I'm answering her original question & my answer would be the same regardless of gender.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So to surmise, if you have an annoying partner it's ok to cheat. Job done. Next!"

Sounds more like "So to extrapolate wildly and impose my own judgement on what everyone has said, regardless of what the posts actually said" to me, but what do I know.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"my hubby is driving me mad at mo

since I got out of hospital all he does is put me down ... other people have noticed it as he tends to say things in front of every one!!

if my hair is a mess etc don't like what im wearing etc

ive asked him to stop it but he thinks its

amusing but its knocking my self

esteem like crazy "

When he talks to you and says something negative, imagine you are surrounded by a protective transparent bubble that all the negativity just bounces off. What makes him the expert on you? He ain't, is he? You are. And you know what's what so have no need to take the blindest bit of notice of anything horrid he might say.

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By *iz78Woman
over a year ago

wirral

"So to surmise, if you have an annoying partner it's ok to cheat. Job done. Next!"

Must be in the small print of the wedding vows

Tick this box so you can cheat if your husband/wife isnt perfect all the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So to surmise, if you have an annoying partner it's ok to cheat. Job done. Next!

Sounds more like "So to extrapolate wildly and impose my own judgement on what everyone has said, regardless of what the posts actually said" to me, but what do I know. "

I bow to your expertise on the subject. I can only apologise for having a conflicting opinion.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Wow, this escalated quickly. All I did was go and read a couple of chapters of LoTR and it all kicks off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my hubby is driving me mad at mo

since I got out of hospital all he does is put me down ... other people have noticed it as he tends to say things in front of every one!!

if my hair is a mess etc don't like what im wearing etc

ive asked him to stop it but he thinks its amusing but its knocking my self esteem like crazy "

I'm sorry but it has to be said that you repeatedly criticise him on here, iy can't be a healthy environment with that much apparant animosity towards each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should I have read the thread before posting!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like a prick obviously cant think that much of you.

Just my opinion

Mr"

In his defence is ya hair a mess and are your clothes shit cause he may have a point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow, this escalated quickly. All I did was go and read a couple of chapters of LoTR and it all kicks off.

"
Lifes never just Back and white is it .

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"Sounds like a prick obviously cant think that much of you.

Just my opinion

In his defence is ya hair a mess and are your clothes shit cause he may have a point

Mr"

my hair cost me 70 quid couple of weeks back looks fine IMO and my clothes are ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like a prick obviously cant think that much of you.

Just my opinion

In his defence is ya hair a mess and are your clothes shit cause he may have a point

Mr"

First post to actually make me lol in a long time

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Sounds like a prick obviously cant think that much of you.

Just my opinion

In his defence is ya hair a mess and are your clothes shit cause he may have a point

my hair cost me 70 quid couple of weeks back looks fine IMO and my clothes are ok

Why even respond to that?

You have no pictures for him to see anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like a prick obviously cant think that much of you.

Just my opinion

In his defence is ya hair a mess and are your clothes shit cause he may have a point

First post to actually make me lol in a long time

I do try

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of woman here on fab get loads of mail saying how lovely they are so it must help a lot and make them feel good and there self esteem if not getting it at home .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like a prick obviously cant think that much of you.

Just my opinion

In his defence is ya hair a mess and are your clothes shit cause he may have a point

my hair cost me 70 quid couple of weeks back looks fine IMO and my clothes are ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like a prick obviously cant think that much of you.

Just my opinion

In his defence is ya hair a mess and are your clothes shit cause he may have a point

my hair cost me 70 quid couple of weeks back looks fine IMO and my clothes are ok

Why even respond to that?

You have no pictures for him to see anyway"

Was not expecting a response lol

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"Sounds like a prick obviously cant think that much of you.

Just my opinion

In his defence is ya hair a mess and are your clothes shit cause he may have a point

my hair cost me 70 quid couple of weeks back looks fine IMO and my clothes are ok

was a valid point though lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like a prick obviously cant think that much of you.

Just my opinion

In his defence is ya hair a mess and are your clothes shit cause he may have a point

my hair cost me 70 quid couple of weeks back looks fine IMO and my clothes are ok

was a valid point though lol"

At least we know your hair is not a mess and your clothes are ok id spend a little more on your clothes and make them at least alrite lol

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