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FEMALE LONELY HEARTS ADS

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

FEMALE LONELY HEARTS ADS

What they really mean:

ADVENTUROUS = Slut

ATHLETIC = No tits

30 SOMETHING = 41

FUN = Annoying

WILD = Gets pissed easily

BEAUTIFUL EYES = Face like a robber's dog

SEEKS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR = Ex-Husbands a ****ing nutter

NEW-AGE = Hairy with a smelly fanny

HEADSTRONG = Argumentative

ENJOYS PUBBING & CLUBBING = Alcoholic

CURVY = Fat ****

CUDDLY = Fat ****

LIKES EATING OUT = Greedy fat ****

LIKES NIGHTS IN = Lazy fat ****.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Have you picked out a coffin?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This will be interesting

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

That was mr P before anyone shoots mrs P lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"FEMALE LONELY HEARTS ADS

What they really mean:

ADVENTUROUS = Slut

ATHLETIC = No tits

30 SOMETHING = 41

FUN = Annoying

WILD = Gets pissed easily

BEAUTIFUL EYES = Face like a robber's dog

SEEKS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR = Ex-Husbands a ****ing nutter

NEW-AGE = Hairy with a smelly fanny

HEADSTRONG = Argumentative

ENJOYS PUBBING & CLUBBING = Alcoholic

CURVY = Fat ****

CUDDLY = Fat ****

LIKES EATING OUT = Greedy fat ****

LIKES NIGHTS IN = Lazy fat ****.

"

Ooo ask him if hes got a brother lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Whats pink & hard?

Pig with a knife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That was mr P before anyone shoots mrs P lol

"

Funnily enough I think the majority of us guessed that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think this is about 15 years old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think this is about 15 years old"

It's not the age of it that makes it unfunny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think this is about 15 years old

It's not the age of it that makes it unfunny. "

Oh I never said it was funny, even back then when I first saw it.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"That was mr P before anyone shoots mrs P lol

Funnily enough I think the majority of us guessed that! "

Indeed... and a little curious why Mr P has spent so much time studying the 'female lonely hearts ads'

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Could it, just possibly, be cut and pasted from an article or one of those e-mails that does the rounds, like so many others post? Maybe.

Is there humour in the thread and posts. Maybe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Could it, just possibly, be cut and pasted from an article or one of those e-mails that does the rounds, like so many others post? Maybe.

Is there humour in the thread and posts. Maybe "

maybe baby .... and ive seen much better versions of that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well i am told i have lovely eyes all the time ,, lol and curvey 14 ,, now i sall see if i can Pinch the ince and mayhave to be on specile kay all week now ,, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes....... just sometimes... I stop arguing with God about the looks dept and give her the ole thumbs up.

This had been ........ one such time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

May be the reason I have not been successful on dating sites is that I am too honest about myself, and come across as a complete nutcase!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"May be the reason I have not been successful on dating sites is that I am too honest about myself, and come across as a complete nutcase!!! "

You are the bees in all depts Pearl. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"May be the reason I have not been successful on dating sites is that I am too honest about myself, and come across as a complete nutcase!!!

You are the bees in all depts Pearl. x "

.

You are too kind!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The penny just dropped!

I don't come across as "lonely"!!!

Or bored, or needy, or desparate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as for men

single...cheating

adventurous...channel flicker

rugby build...fat

athletic...skinny

gsoh...no mates

seeking...a fuck

feminine...big tits

outgoing...will fuck on a first date

single female...someone who won't tell the wife

with gsoh...has own house and won't mind me dropping in as and when it suits me for a fuck

for long term friendship...for a fuck

maybe more...will come back and fuck you again if you're not ugly and won't tell the wife

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Calm down dears it's only a commercial

Love from Mr P (tall dark, handsome millionaire rock star with a 10 inch lady pleaser)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Calm down dears it's only a commercial

Love from Mr P (tall dark, handsome millionaire rock star with a 10 inch lady pleaser)

"

The fact that you have a dwarf for a freind doesn't impress.......

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Calm down dears it's only a commercial

Love from Mr P (tall dark, handsome millionaire rock star with a 10 inch lady pleaser)

The fact that you have a dwarf for a freind doesn't impress......."

Silly Granny - his 10" lady pleaser is his cheque book.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It may have been Mr P who posted it - but he does have a point.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"It may have been Mr P who posted it - but he does have a point. "

Is it on the end of a stick?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

ok a non sexist one before I get any more abuse

Paddy loses his dog and is disraught, after a few weeks his wife said "why don't you put an ad in the local paper ? " h said he'd already tried that.

"what did it say" said his Mrs

"Here boy"

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By *avfavMan
over a year ago

south lincs north cambs

lmao you gotta love a sense of humour and you missed out

innocent = liar

shy = hiding the fact i am a slut

lol

but ladies do your own version of a guy please

x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"lmao you gotta love a sense of humour and you missed out

innocent = liar

shy = hiding the fact i am a slut

lol

but ladies do your own version of a guy please

x"

scroll up!

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