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Charisma

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Following on from the thread about looks and personality, what are peoples thoughts on charisma, the ability for a person to make others like, listen to and value them with little effort?

What sort of qualities do you think make a person charismatic?

Can you think of any examples on the forums of those you perceive as having charisma?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have any .....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just as a handful of examples, I reckon purehoneypot, hotgeordiecouple, cutensassy and avatarforhim (wherever he's gone) have buckets of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

unseemly thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"unseemly thread"

In so much as?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not I, am about as charismatic as a pencil.

Mr fun is ironic, u see

Jools oozes sexuality is that the same thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems like the thread should have been called 'lick a load of peoples arses and big them up'.

How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile? some very good profiles and witty posters, but some very horrible people in actual life. Don't see that the intangible 'charisma', can be gleaned in such a way. It's a lot more chimeric that that imho

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile?"

You do realise many of us attend social gatherings and actually know each other?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile? some very good profiles and witty posters, but some very horrible people in actual life. Don't see that the intangible 'charisma', can be gleaned in such a way."

I don't disagree that there are probably plenty of people online who attempt to mask their innate twattishness behind a thin veil of humour (they're typically very easy to see through however), but there are some people whose posts are consistently entertaining/interesting to read, and that would strongly imply to me that these people have some level of natural appeal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there are probably plenty of people online who attempt to mask their innate twattishness behind a thin veil of humour (they're typically very easy to see through however),

I'll get me coat ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile? some very good profiles and witty posters, but some very horrible people in actual life. Don't see that the intangible 'charisma', can be gleaned in such a way.

I don't disagree that there are probably plenty of people online who attempt to mask their innate twattishness behind a thin veil of humour (they're typically very easy to see through however), but there are some people whose posts are consistently entertaining/interesting to read, and that would strongly imply to me that these people have some level of natural appeal."

Been burned in the past by a clever profile and witty asides though. Charisma is something that comes via real human interaction imho

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I find some people more engaging, more interesting and have a 'something' about them that catches my attention.....

I find they are charismatic in their approach on here.

Now in life they could be as dull as dishwater, but I doubt it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile?

You do realise many of us attend social gatherings and actually know each other?"

no shit sherlock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems like the thread should have been called 'lick a load of peoples arses and big them up'.

How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile? some very good profiles and witty posters, but some very horrible people in actual life. Don't see that the intangible 'charisma', can be gleaned in such a way. It's a lot more chimeric that that imho"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"there are probably plenty of people online who attempt to mask their innate twattishness behind a thin veil of humour (they're typically very easy to see through however),

I'll get me coat ...."

Yeah me too, fancy a pint?

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So that's what we've been missing all this time............bugger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be serious about this.

I have known and know many guy's who are "charismatic "in that it's fake charisma, guy's who know exactly what to say to a lady, how to act etc.. Just to get their end away.

This is a player, someone who has the gift of the gab.

Does not make them a nice person, any better than anyone else.

Most guy's can spot a player from miles away.

Just as there are ladies who do the same and other ladies can spot these a mile away as well.

Guys get "cunt struck " excuse the term.

Women get sweettalked.

If people on here want to be sycophantic, and need to bolster other peoples egos who are on their radar to bed.

Then it's no skin off my nose crack on.

I shall just carry on being sarcastic and definitely uncharasmatic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Following on from the thread about looks and personality, what are peoples thoughts on charisma,"

I think Charisma Carpenter is hot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good record label in it's day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be serious about this.

I have known and know many guy's who are "charismatic "in that it's fake charisma, guy's who know exactly what to say to a lady, how to act etc.. Just to get their end away.

This is a player, someone who has the gift of the gab.

Does not make them a nice person, any better than anyone else.

Most guy's can spot a player from miles away.

Just as there are ladies who do the same and other ladies can spot these a mile away as well.

Guys get "cunt struck " excuse the term.

Women get sweettalked.

If people on here want to be sycophantic, and need to bolster other peoples egos who are on their radar to bed.

Then it's no skin off my nose crack on.

I shall just carry on being sarcastic and definitely uncharasmatic.

"

Not to be too sycophantic, and who are we to bolster your ego, but that was fantastic. You surmised what we meant.

Very charismatic post xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"there are probably plenty of people online who attempt to mask their innate twattishness behind a thin veil of humour (they're typically very easy to see through however),

I'll get me coat ....

Yeah me too, fancy a pint?

Lol "

Make mine a snake bite with ice and a slice and you got a deal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You did ask what sort of qualities making a person charismatic. This is my opinion and not related to any earlier posts re the virtues of fab people

I would say

Someone with empathy

Someone who listens

Is able to artculate well

Who comes across as interested in what you say

Shows intuition and intelligence

These are some qualities and not everyone with them will be charismatic but they are some of the ingredients

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems like the thread should have been called 'lick a load of peoples arses and big them up'.

How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile? some very good profiles and witty posters, but some very horrible people in actual life. Don't see that the intangible 'charisma', can be gleaned in such a way. It's a lot more chimeric that that imho"

Have to agree I have met a few guys who on here I have got on with well but in real life they couldn't carry a conversation in a bucket, one guys who always springs to mind used to mail me daily with massive long messages yet when we met he was really hard work to talk to, i had to hold the conversation for both of us and after about a hour of his slience and one word replies I admitted defeat and went home

Some people are e very good behind a keyboard its not always a indication of their real personality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think posters largely intrigue me more than convey charisma, though a few shine through to a degree.

Everyone who posts online displays something about themselves, which is why it seems easier to read.

And I've lacked charisma since birth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems like the thread should have been called 'lick a load of peoples arses and big them up'.

How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile? some very good profiles and witty posters, but some very horrible people in actual life. Don't see that the intangible 'charisma', can be gleaned in such a way. It's a lot more chimeric that that imho

Have to agree I have met a few guys who on here I have got on with well but in real life they couldn't carry a conversation in a bucket, one guys who always springs to mind used to mail me daily with massive long messages yet when we met he was really hard work to talk to, i had to hold the conversation for both of us and after about a hour of his slience and one word replies I admitted defeat and went home

Some people are e very good behind a keyboard its not always a indication of their real personality "

Totally get this, and it's really the case of online friendships. Had a mate in strongman, talked loads on facebook etc for months, he had loads of mates online, was well known and liked. Met him at a competition and he was totally different, awkward bordering on ignorant and rude. Some people are just better online.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Seems like the thread should have been called 'lick a load of peoples arses and big them up'.

How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile? some very good profiles and witty posters, but some very horrible people in actual life. Don't see that the intangible 'charisma', can be gleaned in such a way. It's a lot more chimeric that that imho

Have to agree I have met a few guys who on here I have got on with well but in real life they couldn't carry a conversation in a bucket"

I don't understand the analogy, I mean surely if you were to speak into a bucket you'd only be hearing your own voice with a trumpety echo, so you may find that you have a lot in common but ultimately there'd be little intrigue as you'd already know everything about them?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Seems like the thread should have been called 'lick a load of peoples arses and big them up'.

How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile? some very good profiles and witty posters, but some very horrible people in actual life. Don't see that the intangible 'charisma', can be gleaned in such a way. It's a lot more chimeric that that imho

Have to agree I have met a few guys who on here I have got on with well but in real life they couldn't carry a conversation in a bucket, one guys who always springs to mind used to mail me daily with massive long messages yet when we met he was really hard work to talk to, i had to hold the conversation for both of us and after about a hour of his slience and one word replies I admitted defeat and went home

Some people are e very good behind a keyboard its not always a indication of their real personality

Totally get this, and it's really the case of online friendships. Had a mate in strongman, talked loads on facebook etc for months, he had loads of mates online, was well known and liked. Met him at a competition and he was totally different, awkward bordering on ignorant and rude."

If he was at a competition surely his attention would have been elsewhere?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"To be serious about this.

I have known and know many guy's who are "charismatic "in that it's fake charisma, guy's who know exactly what to say to a lady, how to act etc.. Just to get their end away.

This is a player, someone who has the gift of the gab.

Does not make them a nice person, any better than anyone else.

Most guy's can spot a player from miles away.

Just as there are ladies who do the same and other ladies can spot these a mile away as well.

Guys get "cunt struck " excuse the term.

Women get sweettalked.

If people on here want to be sycophantic, and need to bolster other peoples egos who are on their radar to bed.

Then it's no skin off my nose crack on.

I shall just carry on being sarcastic and definitely uncharasmatic.

"

Haha, excellent summary!!

CuntStruck and CockStruck lol!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems like the thread should have been called 'lick a load of peoples arses and big them up'.

How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile? some very good profiles and witty posters, but some very horrible people in actual life. Don't see that the intangible 'charisma', can be gleaned in such a way. It's a lot more chimeric that that imho

Have to agree I have met a few guys who on here I have got on with well but in real life they couldn't carry a conversation in a bucket

I don't understand the analogy, I mean surely if you were to speak into a bucket you'd only be hearing your own voice with a trumpety echo, so you may find that you have a lot in common but ultimately there'd be little intrigue as you'd already know everything about them?"

Sorry I'm a northerner moved south its just an expression where I come from you can't really carry a conversation in a bucket, think about it that's the point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems like the thread should have been called 'lick a load of peoples arses and big them up'.

How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile? some very good profiles and witty posters, but some very horrible people in actual life. Don't see that the intangible 'charisma', can be gleaned in such a way. It's a lot more chimeric that that imho

Have to agree I have met a few guys who on here I have got on with well but in real life they couldn't carry a conversation in a bucket, one guys who always springs to mind used to mail me daily with massive long messages yet when we met he was really hard work to talk to, i had to hold the conversation for both of us and after about a hour of his slience and one word replies I admitted defeat and went home

Some people are e very good behind a keyboard its not always a indication of their real personality

Totally get this, and it's really the case of online friendships. Had a mate in strongman, talked loads on facebook etc for months, he had loads of mates online, was well known and liked. Met him at a competition and he was totally different, awkward bordering on ignorant and rude.

If he was at a competition surely his attention would have been elsewhere?"

He was a spectator. Loads of us were meeting this guy for first time AND competing, and he was just a weird chap.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Seems like the thread should have been called 'lick a load of peoples arses and big them up'.

How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile? some very good profiles and witty posters, but some very horrible people in actual life. Don't see that the intangible 'charisma', can be gleaned in such a way. It's a lot more chimeric that that imho

Have to agree I have met a few guys who on here I have got on with well but in real life they couldn't carry a conversation in a bucket

I don't understand the analogy, I mean surely if you were to speak into a bucket you'd only be hearing your own voice with a trumpety echo, so you may find that you have a lot in common but ultimately there'd be little intrigue as you'd already know everything about them?

Sorry I'm a northerner moved south its just an expression where I come from you can't really carry a conversation in a bucket, think about it that's the point "

It STILL doesn't make any sense, I mean you're criticising someone for not being able to do something that no one is expected to be able to do?

...and besides, if you ever saw someone sat down having a trenchant and insightful conversation with a bucket then you probably wouldn't want to get to know them better anyway?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big Tits n a nice Arse holds my attention everytime, who gives a toss if they can hold inteligent conversations for hours as long as She can get Her ankles behind Her Ears

IMHO. Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Big Tits n a nice Arse holds my attention everytime, who gives a toss if they can hold inteligent conversations for hours as long as She can get Her ankles behind Her Ears

IMHO. Gimp "

Good points well made

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems like the thread should have been called 'lick a load of peoples arses and big them up'.

How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile? some very good profiles and witty posters, but some very horrible people in actual life. Don't see that the intangible 'charisma', can be gleaned in such a way. It's a lot more chimeric that that imho"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems like the thread should have been called 'lick a load of peoples arses and big them up'.

How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile? some very good profiles and witty posters, but some very horrible people in actual life. Don't see that the intangible 'charisma', can be gleaned in such a way. It's a lot more chimeric that that imho

Have to agree I have met a few guys who on here I have got on with well but in real life they couldn't carry a conversation in a bucket

I don't understand the analogy, I mean surely if you were to speak into a bucket you'd only be hearing your own voice with a trumpety echo, so you may find that you have a lot in common but ultimately there'd be little intrigue as you'd already know everything about them?

Sorry I'm a northerner moved south its just an expression where I come from you can't really carry a conversation in a bucket, think about it that's the point

It STILL doesn't make any sense, I mean you're criticising someone for not being able to do something that no one is expected to be able to do?

...and besides, if you ever saw someone sat down having a trenchant and insightful conversation with a bucket then you probably wouldn't want to get to know them better anyway?"

Jesus its just an expression, you know like people who say about as much use as a chocolate fireguard

No one really expects you to carry a conversation in a bucket or buy a chocolate fireguard!

seriously don't over think it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems like the thread should have been called 'lick a load of peoples arses and big them up'.

How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile? some very good profiles and witty posters, but some very horrible people in actual life. Don't see that the intangible 'charisma', can be gleaned in such a way. It's a lot more chimeric that that imho

Have to agree I have met a few guys who on here I have got on with well but in real life they couldn't carry a conversation in a bucket

I don't understand the analogy, I mean surely if you were to speak into a bucket you'd only be hearing your own voice with a trumpety echo, so you may find that you have a lot in common but ultimately there'd be little intrigue as you'd already know everything about them?

Sorry I'm a northerner moved south its just an expression where I come from you can't really carry a conversation in a bucket, think about it that's the point

It STILL doesn't make any sense, I mean you're criticising someone for not being able to do something that no one is expected to be able to do?

...and besides, if you ever saw someone sat down having a trenchant and insightful conversation with a bucket then you probably wouldn't want to get to know them better anyway?

Jesus its just an expression, you know like people who say about as much use as a chocolate fireguard

No one really expects you to carry a conversation in a bucket or buy a chocolate fireguard!

seriously don't over think it

"

Forget it, some people are too faux intellectual to understand a Northern lass xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Seems like the thread should have been called 'lick a load of peoples arses and big them up'.

How can you sense charisma from a forum or a profile? some very good profiles and witty posters, but some very horrible people in actual life. Don't see that the intangible 'charisma', can be gleaned in such a way. It's a lot more chimeric that that imho

Have to agree I have met a few guys who on here I have got on with well but in real life they couldn't carry a conversation in a bucket

I don't understand the analogy, I mean surely if you were to speak into a bucket you'd only be hearing your own voice with a trumpety echo, so you may find that you have a lot in common but ultimately there'd be little intrigue as you'd already know everything about them?

Sorry I'm a northerner moved south its just an expression where I come from you can't really carry a conversation in a bucket, think about it that's the point

It STILL doesn't make any sense, I mean you're criticising someone for not being able to do something that no one is expected to be able to do?

...and besides, if you ever saw someone sat down having a trenchant and insightful conversation with a bucket then you probably wouldn't want to get to know them better anyway?

Jesus its just an expression, you know like people who say about as much use as a chocolate fireguard

No one really expects you to carry a conversation in a bucket or buy a chocolate fireguard!

seriously don't over think it

"

What if a fireman came to guard you whilst carrying a bucket of chocolate, would you consider him to be charismatic?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"You did ask what sort of qualities making a person charismatic. This is my opinion and not related to any earlier posts re the virtues of fab people

I would say

Someone with empathy

Someone who listens

Is able to artculate well

Who comes across as interested in what you say

Shows intuition and intelligence

These are some qualities and not everyone with them will be charismatic but they are some of the ingredients

"

They often are, and they can be part of a kind of charm, but can be a false persona too, particularly likely if narcissism is strong.

I married an extremely charismatic man, and there was more to it than that - I always said he would've made a good cult leader! There are some people who just command attention and collect admirers and 'followers' of both sexes wherever they go, I was in awe almost (and those who know me will know that is not something that could happen very easily!).

I have a dancing chum who is the same - people of both sexes just stop and stare wherever he goes, they take pictures surreptitiously in coffee shops ffs! He is a sapeur and a narcissist for sure, but oozes charisma.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

You don't give up do you..I can see smoke coming out your ears where you are thinking too much. I'm going to give that Fireman you were on about a call

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/15 15:00:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

What if a fireman came to guard you whilst carrying a bucket of chocolate, would you consider him to be charismatic?"

So long as he got me out of the burning house I wouldn't give a monkeys if he had charisma or not, we could talk about that while I was over his shoulder going down the ladder after i've eaten the chocolate of course

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

What if a fireman came to guard you whilst carrying a bucket of chocolate, would you consider him to be charismatic?

So long as he got me out of the burning house I wouldn't give a monkeys if he had charisma or not, we could talk about that while I was over his shoulder going down the ladder after i've eaten the chocolate of course "

Ideally though it'd be better if he was uncharismatic then, as he'd be less distracted by the conversation as he was going down the ladder

'You saved me, my hero!'

'Yeah'

'I've always dreamed of being rescued by a fireman!'

'Oh yeah?'

'You must get all sorts of girls after you'

'Nah, not really'

'Oh...well thanks for the bucket of chocolate anyway'

'S'aright'

'...why do you bring buckets of chocolate with you to call outs anyway?'

'...dunno'

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Most charismatic people come with a heavy dose of narcissism, as Frisky_Mare has already alluded.

Many dictators/politicians have charisma.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Most charismatic people come with a heavy dose of narcissism, as Frisky_Mare has already alluded.

Many dictators/politicians have charisma."

Ha, you remind me - Cassius Clay - now there was a man with charisma!

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester


"Most charismatic people come with a heavy dose of narcissism, as Frisky_Mare has already alluded.

Many dictators/politicians have charisma.

Ha, you remind me - Cassius Clay - now there was a man with charisma!"

And narcissistic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Adore men who ooze charisma. For me it's the strong silent type.. The ones who exude presence without being overbearing and cocky. Who can hold an interesting conversation. Who have a passion for something. Eloquent. The type that I feel I can trust to loose my control to.

Very few and far between.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Most charismatic people come with a heavy dose of narcissism, as Frisky_Mare has already alluded.

Many dictators/politicians have charisma."

Sadly have to agree about the narcissism (notable exception being N. Mandela).

Overall I'd say charisma is something I'd look for when meeting someone in real life.

For casual one-off sex, charisma is not a factor in my selection process.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Most charismatic people come with a heavy dose of narcissism, as Frisky_Mare has already alluded.

Many dictators/politicians have charisma."

This was going to be my point, at no point did the op say charisma equals a nice person he just asked who we thought had charisma,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Most charismatic people come with a heavy dose of narcissism, as Frisky_Mare has already alluded.

Many dictators/politicians have charisma.

Sadly have to agree about the narcissism (notable exception being N. Mandela).

Overall I'd say charisma is something I'd look for when meeting someone in real life.

For casual one-off sex, charisma is not a factor in my selection process."

Not a factor for us. Likeability as a person maybe, but nothing more

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Most charismatic people come with a heavy dose of narcissism, as Frisky_Mare has already alluded.

Many dictators/politicians have charisma.

Sadly have to agree about the narcissism (notable exception being N. Mandela).

Overall I'd say charisma is something I'd look for when meeting someone in real life.

For casual one-off sex, charisma is not a factor in my selection process."

So for one offs you go entirely on looks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Adore men who ooze charisma. For me it's the strong silent type.. The ones who exude presence without being overbearing and cocky. Who can hold an interesting conversation. Who have a passion for something. Eloquent. The type that I feel I can trust to loose my control to.

Very few and far between.

"

Absolutely

S x

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Adore men who ooze charisma. For me it's the strong silent type.. The ones who exude presence without being overbearing and cocky. Who can hold an interesting conversation. Who have a passion for something. Eloquent. The type that I feel I can trust to loose my control to.

Very few and far between.

"

Yup, a strong passion for something is part of the equation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem with this thread is that charisma can mean something different to different people. One person's charismatic genius is another's arrogant cunt.

I do find myself sometimes inexplicably drawn to a person, which I'd put down to whatever brand of charisma works on me, but it's often not to the same person as the majority of other people.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"The problem with this thread is that charisma can mean something different to different people. One person's charismatic genius is another's arrogant cunt.

I do find myself sometimes inexplicably drawn to a person, which I'd put down to whatever brand of charisma works on me, but it's often not to the same person as the majority of other people. "

I agree one persons treasure is another persons trash

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem with this thread is that charisma can mean something different to different people. One person's charismatic genius is another's arrogant cunt.

I do find myself sometimes inexplicably drawn to a person, which I'd put down to whatever brand of charisma works on me, but it's often not to the same person as the majority of other people. "

As a previously successful single man, it's rather easy to sound charming and charismatic when trying to get a woman into bed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem with this thread is that charisma can mean something different to different people. One person's charismatic genius is another's arrogant cunt.

I do find myself sometimes inexplicably drawn to a person, which I'd put down to whatever brand of charisma works on me, but it's often not to the same person as the majority of other people.

As a previously successful single man, it's rather easy to sound charming and charismatic when trying to get a woman into bed."

As a currently successful single woman, the charmers don't generally work on me, I hate that crap!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem with this thread is that charisma can mean something different to different people. One person's charismatic genius is another's arrogant cunt.

I do find myself sometimes inexplicably drawn to a person, which I'd put down to whatever brand of charisma works on me, but it's often not to the same person as the majority of other people.

I agree one persons treasure is another persons trash "

You put it a lot more politely than me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem with this thread is that charisma can mean something different to different people. One person's charismatic genius is another's arrogant cunt.

I do find myself sometimes inexplicably drawn to a person, which I'd put down to whatever brand of charisma works on me, but it's often not to the same person as the majority of other people.

As a previously successful single man, it's rather easy to sound charming and charismatic when trying to get a woman into bed.

As a currently successful single woman, the charmers don't generally work on me, I hate that crap! "

Generally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem with this thread is that charisma can mean something different to different people. One person's charismatic genius is another's arrogant cunt.

I do find myself sometimes inexplicably drawn to a person, which I'd put down to whatever brand of charisma works on me, but it's often not to the same person as the majority of other people.

As a previously successful single man, it's rather easy to sound charming and charismatic when trying to get a woman into bed.

As a currently successful single woman, the charmers don't generally work on me, I hate that crap!

Generally "

There are always exceptions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem with this thread is that charisma can mean something different to different people. One person's charismatic genius is another's arrogant cunt.

I do find myself sometimes inexplicably drawn to a person, which I'd put down to whatever brand of charisma works on me, but it's often not to the same person as the majority of other people.

As a previously successful single man, it's rather easy to sound charming and charismatic when trying to get a woman into bed.

As a currently successful single woman, the charmers don't generally work on me, I hate that crap!

Generally

There are always exceptions "

Ah, to be a single man again....oh wait, come to think of it, I've lost the ability to be charming after lack of use. Damn all round hehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In real life I'd class myself as quite charismatic. For example, my mate's partner has only met me twice, but on Saturday at a party felt strongly enough about me to discuss things she wouldn't with others at the party she'd known longer. I think in real life I just have an easy going vibe to me, I'm a good listener too which helps, and people generally listen to what I have to say. It's all about timing your humour right, properly listening to people and being empathic to me. Everyone seems to at least like me, so I'd say I'm doing something right.

The flip side is some of history's biggest monsters were incredibly charismatic, so it's not everything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just as a handful of examples, I reckon purehoneypot, hotgeordiecouple, cutensassy and avatarforhim (wherever he's gone) have buckets of it."

Taken the way in which it was intended, I agree with these named. Especially the first two.

Well, of course I do. Their charm has worked on me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In real life I'd class myself as quite charismatic. For example, my mate's partner has only met me twice, but on Saturday at a party felt strongly enough about me to discuss things she wouldn't with others at the party she'd known longer. I think in real life I just have an easy going vibe to me, I'm a good listener too which helps, and people generally listen to what I have to say. It's all about timing your humour right, properly listening to people and being empathic to me. Everyone seems to at least like me, so I'd say I'm doing something right.

The flip side is some of history's biggest monsters were incredibly charismatic, so it's not everything. "

Is that charisma though? Sounds like you're a funny, likeable, friendly and kind man - I think of charisma as something different, something more akin to leadership quality, the type of person people are innately drawn to without really knowing why, who have a presence about them. That's why cult leaders are often described as charismatic, as was Hitler.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In real life I'd class myself as quite charismatic. For example, my mate's partner has only met me twice, but on Saturday at a party felt strongly enough about me to discuss things she wouldn't with others at the party she'd known longer. I think in real life I just have an easy going vibe to me, I'm a good listener too which helps, and people generally listen to what I have to say. It's all about timing your humour right, properly listening to people and being empathic to me. Everyone seems to at least like me, so I'd say I'm doing something right.

The flip side is some of history's biggest monsters were incredibly charismatic, so it's not everything.

Is that charisma though? Sounds like you're a funny, likeable, friendly and kind man - I think of charisma as something different, something more akin to leadership quality, the type of person people are innately drawn to without really knowing why, who have a presence about them. That's why cult leaders are often described as charismatic, as was Hitler."

I did wonder why I kept accumulating legions of admiring women, and why people said I had Hilerite tendencies. Now I know xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In real life I'd class myself as quite charismatic. For example, my mate's partner has only met me twice, but on Saturday at a party felt strongly enough about me to discuss things she wouldn't with others at the party she'd known longer. I think in real life I just have an easy going vibe to me, I'm a good listener too which helps, and people generally listen to what I have to say. It's all about timing your humour right, properly listening to people and being empathic to me. Everyone seems to at least like me, so I'd say I'm doing something right.

The flip side is some of history's biggest monsters were incredibly charismatic, so it's not everything.

Is that charisma though? Sounds like you're a funny, likeable, friendly and kind man - I think of charisma as something different, something more akin to leadership quality, the type of person people are innately drawn to without really knowing why, who have a presence about them. That's why cult leaders are often described as charismatic, as was Hitler.

I did wonder why I kept accumulating legions of admiring women, and why people said I had Hilerite tendencies. Now I know xx"

No they meant the tache

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In real life I'd class myself as quite charismatic. For example, my mate's partner has only met me twice, but on Saturday at a party felt strongly enough about me to discuss things she wouldn't with others at the party she'd known longer. I think in real life I just have an easy going vibe to me, I'm a good listener too which helps, and people generally listen to what I have to say. It's all about timing your humour right, properly listening to people and being empathic to me. Everyone seems to at least like me, so I'd say I'm doing something right.

The flip side is some of history's biggest monsters were incredibly charismatic, so it's not everything.

Is that charisma though? Sounds like you're a funny, likeable, friendly and kind man - I think of charisma as something different, something more akin to leadership quality, the type of person people are innately drawn to without really knowing why, who have a presence about them. That's why cult leaders are often described as charismatic, as was Hitler.

I did wonder why I kept accumulating legions of admiring women, and why people said I had Hilerite tendencies. Now I know xx

No they meant the tache "

And there was me thinking my tache was one of my stronger features.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Is that charisma though? Sounds like you're a funny, likeable, friendly and kind man - I think of charisma as something different, something more akin to leadership quality, the type of person people are innately drawn to without really knowing why, who have a presence about them. That's why cult leaders are often described as charismatic, as was Hitler."

Perhaps not with what you're saying, I'd have to agree. However my mates are trying to get me into politics (again) and I'm pretty hot on public speaking. Maybe I am, maybe not. But thanks, I do try and be kind, witty and generally amiable.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"In real life I'd class myself as quite charismatic. For example, my mate's partner has only met me twice, but on Saturday at a party felt strongly enough about me to discuss things she wouldn't with others at the party she'd known longer. I think in real life I just have an easy going vibe to me, I'm a good listener too which helps, and people generally listen to what I have to say. It's all about timing your humour right, properly listening to people and being empathic to me. Everyone seems to at least like me, so I'd say I'm doing something right.

The flip side is some of history's biggest monsters were incredibly charismatic, so it's not everything.

Is that charisma though? Sounds like you're a funny, likeable, friendly and kind man - I think of charisma as something different, something more akin to leadership quality, the type of person people are innately drawn to without really knowing why, who have a presence about them. That's why cult leaders are often described as charismatic, as was Hitler."

Yup, that's what I mean too. Some people have a mesmeric quality to them, and people naturally want to follow them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me charisma comes from a sparkling personality,confidence,a personable person who isn't arrogant. An understated personality even. Not in your face trying to be liked or noticed. I have to see it in person. On here it's just likeability to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly charisma online means jack shit to me as most of it is faked!

I can be a right grumpy cow at times and can come across as a bitch but There is nothing I can do about that, i know in person most people think im sweet funny and caring and thats what matters most to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've avoided this thread for so many reasons if I typed them all out I'd crash the fucking forum.....

One thing...

You can be who the fuck you like online you won't hide who you really are in person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NO this is the internet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Charisma cannot be defined by a persona on a screen.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I've avoided this thread for so many reasons if I typed them all out I'd crash the fucking forum.....

One thing...

You can be who the fuck you like online you won't hide who you really are in person.

"

Don't you believe it! Yes, most of the time a lot will become apparent, but people can deceive others and sometimes even themselves for years! !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Most charismatic people come with a heavy dose of narcissism, as Frisky_Mare has already alluded.

Many dictators/politicians have charisma.

Sadly have to agree about the narcissism (notable exception being N. Mandela).

Overall I'd say charisma is something I'd look for when meeting someone in real life.

For casual one-off sex, charisma is not a factor in my selection process.

So for one offs you go entirely on looks?"

I'd say 80% looks and rest clicking / chemistry / personality. If the looks are not there then the person won't even get the chance to show their personality. If they do get a chance and it turns out they are an idiot then also sex is not gonna happen.

But this is only for casual sex.

I am a nice person in real life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just as a handful of examples, I reckon purehoneypot, hotgeordiecouple, cutensassy and avatarforhim (wherever he's gone) have buckets of it."

Ooooh thank you lovely

I am rather much the same in real life, just to clarify

Mr is somewhat cheekier and slightly sarcastic

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