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Texts from Parents

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So my mum texts me today...

'Hi Darling, can you help me I am trying to find a purple 28" double ended, no joy on Ebay"

My respone "Mum what are you talking about"

(At that moment my mind is horrified hoping my mother hasnt asked me to help her find a dildo)

"A zip, for your cardigan i'm knitting"

Phew!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone else had a text from a parent that could have been easily miscontrued this way?

Btw I have to say I love my mum she is so obviously innocent, I rang her after and she didnt have a clue.. My dad however was laughing his head off in the background!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mom called me a twat once .....but not knowing exactly what one was .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum wouldn't know how to send a text,she doesn't even like talking on a land line

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My mom called me a twat once .....but not knowing exactly what one was ..... "

Haha nice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We was at a club playing together Paul talking dirty to me, spanking my arse, really kinky goings on, anyway I had my phone in my bag, must of lent on it unlocked it and rang someone, I'm unaware that this has happened, till the next morning.

I get a txt saying, " Susan, the next time your in the throughs of passion, don't leave your phone under your pillow, as you left me a voice mail at 1.45am, love mum"

Was absolutly mortified, lol even worse when she rang, saying it took me a while to work out what it was, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/15 10:59:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum thought it was pronounced Twot

She asked for fifty shades of grey after hearing an interview with the author on the radio

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We was at a club playing together Paul talking dirty to me, spanking my arse, really kinky goings on, anyway I had my phone in my bag, must of lent on it unlocked it and rang someone, I'm unaware that this has happened, till the next morning.

I get a txt saying, " Susan, the next time your in the throughs of passion, don't leave your phone under your pillow, as you left me a voice mail at 1.45am, love mum"

Was absolutly mortified, lol even worse when she rang, saying it took me a while to work out what it was, lol "

Yep I would have wanted to shrivel up and die right there and then!

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World


"We was at a club playing together Paul talking dirty to me, spanking my arse, really kinky goings on, anyway I had my phone in my bag, must of lent on it unlocked it and rang someone, I'm unaware that this has happened, till the next morning.

I get a txt saying, " Susan, the next time your in the throughs of passion, don't leave your phone under your pillow, as you left me a voice mail at 1.45am, love mum"

Was absolutly mortified, lol even worse when she rang, saying it took me a while to work out what it was, lol "

PMSL

That is the reason I always pin lock my phone when in a club, the last thing I need is to butt dial someone at the wrong time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum had a stroke a few years back. So we get random weird txt and she gets her words really muddled up all the time.

From calling my nephew bastard instead of his name swearing at ppl in shops.

At first she was mortified but now i think she secretly enjoys doing it lol.

I find it all hillarious. Shes alive and who cares if she swears at ppl randomly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a text but got a call from my mum (r.i.p) at work once to come home urgently in her words,"your Dads thing has exploded and im covered in it,its all over and I don't know what to do",,Dad used to make wine and one of his Demi jars had burst and covered mum in wine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not text related, but we were watching telly and can't remember why but the word dominatrix was used. My mum asked me what one was. That was fun.

But the highlight has to be my 4 year old rooting around in my bedroom unknown to me, comes downstairs and presents my mum with a pair of heavy duty leather and chain handcuffs...

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Not a text as my mum only switches her phone on to make a call then back off.

Was sat in Costa coffee with her and she announces she's been reading fifty shades of grey and then told me all about and that she wouldn't be buying the rest as it was just sex sex sex

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Not a text as my mum only switches her phone on to make a call then back off.

Was sat in Costa coffee with her and she announces she's been reading fifty shades of grey and then told me all about and that she wouldn't be buying the rest as it was just sex sex sex "

Did she think it was a history of the Dulux paint charts, or something when she started reading it?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

My mum sent me a text on the 22 Jan wishing me a happy Birthday. I asked if she was present at my birth because I was born on the 21st Jan

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"My mum sent me a text on the 22 Jan wishing me a happy Birthday. I asked if she was present at my birth because I was born on the 21st Jan "

! Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We was at a club playing together Paul talking dirty to me, spanking my arse, really kinky goings on, anyway I had my phone in my bag, must of lent on it unlocked it and rang someone, I'm unaware that this has happened, till the next morning.

I get a txt saying, " Susan, the next time your in the throughs of passion, don't leave your phone under your pillow, as you left me a voice mail at 1.45am, love mum"

Was absolutly mortified, lol even worse when she rang, saying it took me a while to work out what it was, lol

PMSL

That is the reason I always pin lock my phone when in a club, the last thing I need is to butt dial someone at the wrong time "

I leave it in the locker now, safest place lol

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Not a text as my mum only switches her phone on to make a call then back off.

Was sat in Costa coffee with her and she announces she's been reading fifty shades of grey and then told me all about and that she wouldn't be buying the rest as it was just sex sex sex

Did she think it was a history of the Dulux paint charts, or something when she started reading it? "
she had heard the girls at work talking about it lol, I'm not even going there with our conversation about anal sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Not a text as my mum only switches her phone on to make a call then back off.

Was sat in Costa coffee with her and she announces she's been reading fifty shades of grey and then told me all about and that she wouldn't be buying the rest as it was just sex sex sex

Did she think it was a history of the Dulux paint charts, or something when she started reading it? she had heard the girls at work talking about it lol, I'm not even going there with our conversation about anal sex "

Ahh i remember my mum asking me how gay men had sex.. God i wanted a hole to open up!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not a text as my mum only switches her phone on to make a call then back off.

Was sat in Costa coffee with her and she announces she's been reading fifty shades of grey and then told me all about and that she wouldn't be buying the rest as it was just sex sex sex

Did she think it was a history of the Dulux paint charts, or something when she started reading it? she had heard the girls at work talking about it lol, I'm not even going there with our conversation about anal sex

Ahh i remember my mum asking me how gay men had sex.. God i wanted a hole to open up!! "

That's pretty much the explanation she needed right there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My mum sent me a text on the 22 Jan wishing me a happy Birthday. I asked if she was present at my birth because I was born on the 21st Jan "

Maybe she'd had too much gas and air at the time, blurring the passage of time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Mum & Dad normally text only to say:

"Pick up your phone"...

Followed by another text of:

"What's the point of your phone..pick it up!!"

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

My mum only ever figured out how to text 'ok'.

She never swore in her life but driving to the theatre one night she called a driver who cut us up a tosser (I was driving by the way). Shocked gasp from daughter in the back. I had to explain that it didn't just mean an idiot.

She was mortified and never said it again once she knew what it meant.

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I'm astonished if I get a text from my mum, I think it might have happened twice. Usually I do her texting for her!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"Not a text as my mum only switches her phone on to make a call then back off.

Was sat in Costa coffee with her and she announces she's been reading fifty shades of grey and then told me all about and that she wouldn't be buying the rest as it was just sex sex sex

Did she think it was a history of the Dulux paint charts, or something when she started reading it? she had heard the girls at work talking about it lol, I'm not even going there with our conversation about anal sex

Ahh i remember my mum asking me how gay men had sex.. God i wanted a hole to open up!! "

This is possibly the funniest thing I've read for ages!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So my mum texts me today...

'Hi Darling, can you help me I am trying to find a purple 28" double ended, no joy on Ebay"

My respone "Mum what are you talking about"

(At that moment my mind is horrified hoping my mother hasnt asked me to help her find a dildo)

"A zip, for your cardigan i'm knitting"

Phew!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone else had a text from a parent that could have been easily miscontrued this way?

Btw I have to say I love my mum she is so obviously innocent, I rang her after and she didnt have a clue.. My dad however was laughing his head off in the background! "

Hahaha thats quality

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