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burns night

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By *eavenNhell OP   Couple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

alex samond is being shown around a glasgow hospital. Towards the end of the visit, he is shown into a ward with a number people with no obvious signs of injury or disease.

He goes to greet the first patient and the chap replies: "Fair fa' your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain e' the puddin' race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm; Weel are ye wordy o' a grace as lang's my arm."

Boris, being somewhat confused (easily done) goes to the next patient and greets him.

The patient replies: "Some hae meat, and canna eat, and some wad eat that want it, but we hae meat and can eat, and sae the Lord be thankit."

The third starts rattling off: "Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, wi bickering brattle! I wad be laith to rin an chase thee, wi murdering pattle!"

Boris turns to the doctor and asks: "Is this mental ward?"

"No" the doctor replies, "It's the Burns unit."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now if only you could make Alex Salmond disappear in real life.

I'm sure Boris would like to assist.

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By *inkxRabbitWoman
over a year ago

Mostly in GU24


"alex samond is being shown around a glasgow hospital. Towards the end of the visit, he is shown into a ward with a number people with no obvious signs of injury or disease.

He goes to greet the first patient and the chap replies: "Fair fa' your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain e' the puddin' race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm; Weel are ye wordy o' a grace as lang's my arm."

Boris, being somewhat confused (easily done) goes to the next patient and greets him.

The patient replies: "Some hae meat, and canna eat, and some wad eat that want it, but we hae meat and can eat, and sae the Lord be thankit."

The third starts rattling off: "Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, wi bickering brattle! I wad be laith to rin an chase thee, wi murdering pattle!"

Boris turns to the doctor and asks: "Is this mental ward?"

"No" the doctor replies, "It's the Burns unit.""

Brilliant!

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