FabSwingers.com forum: Is it possible to never judge?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't think it is, we all judge others in some way or another surely?

I see it written so many times, "we don't judge" it always makes me think that yes you do, to make that comment you are judging?! Particularly when it's follows by "its just not for us".

What are your thoughts on this?

I think we all like to feel non judgmental and have an open mind but is it truly possible?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I'm not judgemental.

But occasionally I'm guilty of having or displaying an overly critical point of view.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone judges. Simple as.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everybody judges in one way or another

We made opinion of people based on what we see is that not judging?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

5 mins on this forum will show that everyone here judges at some point, whether its people, or places, or races, or countries, or jobs, etc etc ad nauseum. Its just some of us are quieter about it than others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never judge anyone as I want as much as fun as possible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We try not to be judgmental, but it is part of human nature.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Everybody judges in one way or another

We made opinion of people based on what we see is that not judging?"

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks like this, was beginning to think I was a little odd

Btw, her posting xx

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Making a judgement isn't always a bad thing

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"We try not to be judgmental, but it is part of human nature. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Making a judgement isn't always a bad thing

Everything on here can be twisted to be a bad thing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I never judge anyone as I want as much as fun as possible

Is that not a way to judge? If I keep my thinking quite people will think I'm worth a shag? Does that not suggest u think we are all a little dumb?

Just asking for debating purposes xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People do judge, even if they dont realise it.

Its when it gets nasty, there is no need

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never judge anyone as I want as much as fun as possible

Is that not a way to judge? If I keep my thinking quite people will think I'm worth a shag? Does that not suggest u think we are all a little dumb?

Just asking for debating purposes xx"
No its not as I don't reject anyone so cant be a way to judge anyone, so yes with me everyone is worth a shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try not to judge people, I'm a big believer of each to their own but every now and then I find myself thinking, really??!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never judge anyone as I want as much as fun as possible

Is that not a way to judge? If I keep my thinking quite people will think I'm worth a shag? Does that not suggest u think we are all a little dumb?

Just asking for debating purposes xxNo its not as I don't reject anyone so cant be a way to judge anyone, so yes with me everyone is worth a shag

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman
over a year ago

Hereabouts

I rarely judge people based on small things about them. Or one aspect of them as a person. But if I don't like them then it's usually based on a judgement of them in general.

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By *orkp88Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Judges judge but they get paid to do it. So their probably smarter than us. We're doing it for free.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I judge people without even realising sometimes. I see a woman in a car snoking a fag with a baby in the car seat behind her, I judge! I walk round asda and see massively obese people with crisps and biscuits and donuts and pizzas in their trolly, I judge! I don't mean to, I can't stop a thought from manifesting inside my head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think it is, we all judge others in some way or another surely?

I see it written so many times, "we don't judge" it always makes me think that yes you do, to make that comment you are judging?! Particularly when it's follows by "its just not for us".

What are your thoughts on this?

I think we all like to feel non judgmental and have an open mind but is it truly possible?"

If after a scenario that you heard about or you were part of and have just given it a thought what you would have done if you were to take the decision then with your own reasons and not making any comparism or reference to someone else's decision

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think i don't understand this topic, but what do you mean by not judging?

If i didn't like something but am fine with someone else doing what i don't like then i'm not judging that person.

Judgemental tends to mean you are criticising someone else and their actions just because you think that everyone should hold the same beliefs, morals and opinion as yourself. .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I judge people without even realising sometimes. I see a woman in a car snoking a fag with a baby in the car seat behind her, I judge! I walk round asda and see massively obese people with crisps and biscuits and donuts and pizzas in their trolly, I judge! I don't mean to, I can't stop a thought from manifesting inside my head. "

I think everyone does it even if they won't admit it

I know I do, my biggest failing is pregnant women who smoke and abese kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think everyone does it even if they won't admit it

I know I do, my biggest failing is pregnant women who smoke and abese kids

How did the judgment on daughters boyfriend go?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think everyone does it even if they won't admit it

I know I do, my biggest failing is pregnant women who smoke and abese kids

How did the judgment on daughters boyfriend go?"

Lol terribly I haven't even finished judging him yet

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Yes, we all judge at some point or other. We have to form opinions of people and things in order to interact, make decisions and get on with life.

If a stranger acts like a knob to me, I judge him to be a knob. Maybe he's having a bad day. Maybe I misunderstood. But based on my experience, he's a knob.

If we continually, perpetually kept an open mind about everything and everyone, we'd never get anything done.

However, not being attracted to someone, not liking something or not wanting to do something are not necessarily judging.

I don't like celery but I'm not judging that celery. It's not evil celery. I simply don't like the taste.

Were I to say anyone who likes celery is deranged, then that's a bit judgemental.

If I weren't attracted to people with, say, green eyes, I'm not judging them. They're just not my type. It's not a conscious decision based on any judgement.

Of course, if I said I won't meet people with green eyes because I met one once and he was a wanker and he had syphilis and they're all the same, kinda judgemental.

What's wrong with "it's not our thing"? People are allowed to not like stuff, and even to share that it wasn't to their taste. They're not judging anyone else who does whatever "it" is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great difference between judging people and saying "it's not our thing". We always try not to judge BUT we are fickle humans - and so probably do sometimes

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By *icky999Man
over a year ago

warrington

There's a big difference between judging and condeming someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rather than "judging" I like to think..

"Yeah I didn't judge..I just used Common Sense"

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I'm cool with, "it's not our thing".

"OMG! That's so disgusting!", tends to be a bit more emotive because people who like it can easily take umbrage. They've not been criticised themselves, it's still a personal opinion of the thing or act but it's a bit tactless and inflammatory.

"Anyone who does that is a revolting deviant and should be locked up", is not so cool.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't think it is, we all judge others in some way or another surely?

I see it written so many times, "we don't judge" it always makes me think that yes you do, to make that comment you are judging?! Particularly when it's follows by "its just not for us".

What are your thoughts on this?

I think we all like to feel non judgmental and have an open mind but is it truly possible?

U what?????

sorry being a bit dull maybe but I don't understand that at all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm cool with, "it's not our thing".

"Anyone who does that is a revolting deviant and should be locked up", is not so cool."

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm cool with its not our thing, each to their own as they say! One persons junk is anothers treasure. it's just I can't help feel that in some way every judges something.

As a comment further up said, judges get paid to judge therefore they must be better at it. Leave judgeing to them, don't quo me on that, from memory sorry, but isn't that a sort of judgement?

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I'm cool with, "it's not our thing".

"Anyone who does that is a revolting deviant and should be locked up", is not so cool.

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm cool with its not our thing, each to their own as they say! One persons junk is anothers treasure. it's just I can't help feel that in some way every judges something.

As a comment further up said, judges get paid to judge therefore they must be better at it. Leave judgeing to them, don't quo me on that, from memory sorry, but isn't that a sort of judgement?

Not liking something isn't judging though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm cool with, "it's not our thing".

"Anyone who does that is a revolting deviant and should be locked up", is not so cool.

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm cool with its not our thing, each to their own as they say! One persons junk is anothers treasure. it's just I can't help feel that in some way every judges something.

As a comment further up said, judges get paid to judge therefore they must be better at it. Leave judgeing to them, don't quo me on that, from memory sorry, but isn't that a sort of judgement?

Not liking something isn't judging though."

I totally agree, though celery is the veg of the devil and therein evil lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's natural to judge straightaway, thoughts just form in your mind. It's what you do with those thoughts that matter. I don't think anyone should hurt anyone else with their opinions.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I'm cool with, "it's not our thing".

"Anyone who does that is a revolting deviant and should be locked up", is not so cool.

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm cool with its not our thing, each to their own as they say! One persons junk is anothers treasure. it's just I can't help feel that in some way every judges something.

As a comment further up said, judges get paid to judge therefore they must be better at it. Leave judgeing to them, don't quo me on that, from memory sorry, but isn't that a sort of judgement?

Not liking something isn't judging though.

I totally agree, though celery is the veg of the devil and therein evil lol x

No, just "not for me"

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Everyone makes judgements about the people they meet or things they hear etc. It's how they act upon their judgments that makes the difference between being judgmental or not.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Judging is a part of survival, often we don't realise we are judging. If I was going to cross the road I'd have to judge bow far a car was away from me. If someone was running towards me with a knife I'm not going to stand there and give him the benefit of what his motives are

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"There's a big difference between judging and condeming someone

Absolutely, and the difference between behaviour and identity is crucial too. I can say I don't agree with or don't like something you did without judging you as a person. I can say 'You did a nasty thing' without saying, or even thinking 'You are a nasty person'.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

We are social creatures influenced by others all the time. Some of the time we wont be as comfortable about something, but most of this is unconscious.

We do however have full control over what we deem appropriate or acceptable. In these instances we do not have to pass a put down type judgement upon others. We can accept them, even though they're different. And separate others' behaviors from the actual personality doing something. We can be ok with the person but prefer a different behavior.

I like to give people time to show themselves, rather than be fast to decide I don't like them a lot etc. It's fine not to want to be close and intimate with all but I aim not to judge. The Bulger killers etc - I really cannot have a clue over, as I'm not closely involved. It's better to fix your own life up before focusing outside.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I am not judgemental at all. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a narrow minded bigot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to think I'm not judgemental. I don't have an opinion on anybody until I've got to know them a little. Even then I respect they're entitled to their own views and opinions. I don't judge people on physical attributes or personality. I only have a problem when people end up being a cunt. Its nicer to go through life finding good in people. Even if others do not.

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By *asmanian TigerMan
over a year ago

lala land

No its not!!

I have come to realise almost everyone on here are judgmental and everyone has an opinion.

Before you judge anyone just try to be in there shoes and see how that feels.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree, everyone judges to some degree, it's how they allow that judgement to influence their actions that counts.

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland

Every single person is judgmental, every single person judges every day of there life on numerous occasions, its part of human nature, its built in us, but the difference is how we as people decide to use our judgement, thats what tells us apart, having judgement or been judgemental is not a bad thing, but its made to seem like a bad thing on here by people throwing it out there when things arent going for them or people have different views to them, but infact they are using the word incorrectly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even poor judgement is better than no judgement, the trick is to know character is multi level. You may hate a persons politics but totally connect on their art, find or at least look for the positives and the world is a whole lot brighter.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some great comments and thoughts here! Thanks all xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"5 mins on this forum will show that everyone here judges at some point, whether its people, or places, or races, or countries, or jobs, etc etc ad nauseum. Its just some of us are quieter about it than others."

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