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fed insults for breakfast?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I woke this morning to find that the cruelest insults are actually delivered by the no-more friendly postman.

I'm often told that I can pass for a lady in her twenties, most are usually suprised by my age, but it seems that this is perhaps nothing more than flirtatious charm as sat there, amongst my mail, is a letter from Michael 'Bloody' Parkinson, as he will now be forever known in my home, wearing a smile that sits comfortably between smug and sincere, genially asking "aged between 50 and 85?"

Now, I appreciate it was a somewhat restless night and that I'm possibly not looking like an oil painting this morning, but even still......harsh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's even worse when at 45 people begin suggesting that in 5 years time I 'll qualify for all sorts of low insurance companies designed for the over 50s and how many fookin carriage clocks I'll amass just for asking for a quote.

Don't these companies realise that in the modern world we don't need so many timepieces anymore. I haven't worn a watch for 20 years or so!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Don't these companies realise that in the modern world we don't need so many timepieces anymore. I haven't worn a watch for 20 years or so! "

i am in semi-mourning for my youth...i've already cleared the place on the mantle.....mantle, that's an old word

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't these companies realise that in the modern world we don't need so many timepieces anymore. I haven't worn a watch for 20 years or so!

i am in semi-mourning for my youth...i've already cleared the place on the mantle.....mantle, that's an old word"

But you're only 37! You can put photos of you enjoying yourself at V Fest and look trendy on your mantle whereas if I did it I'd look like an old fart trying to hang onto something long gone lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

come on you lovely woman its them not you ,,,,,,,, THAY HAVE A HANG UP about age and passing on to you dont be there victom your you age is a number in your head ,,, you do yourself up look your best and to hell with others x jo xxxxxxx

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"I woke this morning to find that the cruelest insults are actually delivered by the no-more friendly postman.

I'm often told that I can pass for a lady in her twenties, most are usually suprised by my age, but it seems that this is perhaps nothing more than flirtatious charm as sat there, amongst my mail, is a letter from Michael 'Bloody' Parkinson, as he will now be forever known in my home, wearing a smile that sits comfortably between smug and sincere, genially asking "aged between 50 and 85?"

Now, I appreciate it was a somewhat restless night and that I'm possibly not looking like an oil painting this morning, but even still......harsh."

If it's any consolation, I'd rather have sex with you than Michael Parkinson....

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

you wait till you do reach the dreaded (well it isn't so bad actually) big 50. The number of letters you get around your birthday reminding you about cheap insurance/holidays/stair lifts etc is unbelievable but when you actually enquire as to the discounts you can always negotiate better with the 'ordinary' companies. The best one I get regularly though is about flammin funeral expenses and not to leave our loved ones with an unwanted bill. Well personally I hope the funeral is unwanted more than the bill! Oh and by the way I intend going on for a few more years yet anyway!!!

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Don't fret, it's not all bad.

Stannah are introducing a range of Carbon fibre "boy racer" accessories for their stairlifts, i can't wait.

And i will expect my walk-in bath to be fully mp3 compatible, and advertised in the Sunday papers by Danni Behr in a swimsuit (phwoar!)

And in the next few years Levi's will have introduced a range of elasitcated trousers!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I actual want a stair-lift, they look like fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They were talking about oap homes for gays yesterday (yes radio4) and it started me thinking about homes for bi's and swingers - or do we all deny our pasts when we are older

I did think when we started this that we would only dabble for a cpl of years but it's been 15 years now and at the Michael bloody Parkinsonism age of 47 (aka nearly old enough for a free pen ) should we be planning to fund suitable homes that encourage free play or give up soon !!

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I actual want a stair-lift, they look like fun!"

I'll get a two seater with a sub-woofer. We can listen to some "bangin' tunes" as we go up to my waterbed and mirrored ceiling...!!

*gets coat*

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"They were talking about oap homes for gays yesterday (yes radio4) and it started me thinking about homes for bi's and swingers - or do we all deny our pasts when we are older

I did think when we started this that we would only dabble for a cpl of years but it's been 15 years now and at the Michael bloody Parkinsonism age of 47 (aka nearly old enough for a free pen ) should we be planning to fund suitable homes that encourage free play or give up soon !!"

Fight and you may die. Run and you

will live at least a while. And dying in your bed many years from now,

would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for

one chance, just one chance, to come back here as young (wo)men and tell

our enemies that they may take our lives but they will never take

our (swinging) FREEDOM!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I actual want a stair-lift, they look like fun!

I'll get a two seater with a sub-woofer. We can listen to some "bangin' tunes" as we go up to my waterbed and mirrored ceiling...!!

*gets coat*"

I hope your bed has rails to pull us back up again...need all the assistance i can get in my years of decline...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need a wallace and gromit style bed, that raises up and slides you down into your high heels...... sorted!

Maybe Mr Parkinson mailed you cos he knows you jock lasses are more pensionable, due to the amount of whisky and deep fried mars bars you consume, lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Maybe Mr Parkinson mailed you cos he knows you jock lasses are more pensionable, due to the amount of whisky and deep fried mars bars you consume, lol "

oi! don't make the assumption that cause i live here i'm scottish!

....and they deep fry pizas now, not so much mars bars :0D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im up there often enough, so spend too much time dodging kilt wearing jocks munching pizzas, marbars and even bridies on the roads, lol.... So you may not be Scottish, but I bet you speak the lingo....no bother, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

since turning the big 50 early this yr, i have been waiting for baited breath to recieve one of the above mentioned letters, as i now hear they give you a choice of free gifts, i have already decided on the small colour flatscreen so that i can sell it on ebay and make a profit from there hard work, pmsl, ...... im still waiting for one to come through my letterbox lol, sue x

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk


"since turning the big 50 early this yr, i have been waiting for baited breath to recieve one of the above mentioned letters, as i now hear they give you a choice of free gifts, i have already decided on the small colour flatscreen so that i can sell it on ebay and make a profit from there hard work, pmsl, ...... im still waiting for one to come through my letterbox lol, sue x"

I'll send you mine (letters) if you want - got two yesterday and no doubt several more before my birthday in 11 days time

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