FabSwingers.com forum: Hey Cortana?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Keep on hearing adverts for the Windows phone "personal assistant"

Obviously a gimmick, but imagine if a disgruntled employee had gone to town on it?

"Cortana, next time my wife rings, remind me to say Happy Anniversary"

*bing* You are a shit husband if you need reminding.

"Well can you remind me to buy her flowers from a florist on the way home?"

*bing* certainly.

4 hours later.

"Cortana? I thought I set a reminder to buy flowers?"

*bing* you did. You can remember you set a reminder but need reminding to buy flowers? There is a petrol station round the corner.

"Well Cortana, I will be taking her out for a meal tonight, mute all incoming texts except those on my family list"

*bing* certainly.

Much later...

*bing* you have one new message from your bit on the side, should I read it out?

"NO!"

*bing* OK, you said go. Hi you sexy beast...

Over to you, what can Cortana screw for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

most annoying f ing advert on telly - you'd have to be a brainless twat to want to use such shit

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's what I thought...

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Try asking Cortana "what does the fox say?"

Works on Siri!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My phone installed an update today and Cortana came with it. I had fun talking bollocks into it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try asking Cortana "what does the fox say?"

Works on Siri!!

it just searches for it the same as if you typed it into the search box

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cortana - please remind me to kick the shit out of you and smash you into a thousand pieces at midnight"

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Try asking Cortana "what does the fox say?"

Works on Siri!!

it just searches for it the same as if you typed it into the search box"

Bag of crap then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"most annoying f ing advert on telly - you'd have to be a brainless twat to want to use such shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haver it and asked it which is better , original or jammy waggon wheels? it told me to see a shrink !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try asking Cortana "what does the fox say?"

Works on Siri!!

it just searches for it the same as if you typed it into the search box

Bag of crap then!

yes,why would I want everyone knowing what I'm searching for? Cortana,find me some hot gay porn please

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Try asking Cortana "what does the fox say?"

Works on Siri!!

it just searches for it the same as if you typed it into the search box

Bag of crap then!

yes,why would I want everyone knowing what I'm searching for? Cortana,find me some hot gay porn please "

Suppose it helps if your hands are busy!

*knitting of course. Or making origami elephants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont know about Cortana but my old Cortina is still going strong.

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