FabSwingers.com forum: depression and anxiety

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!

You are holding my husband hostage

sorry peeps for the rant but today is a very very bad day!

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

It can't be easy for either of you. I hope he's getting the help he needs and it passes

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By *ipsTeaserCouple
over a year ago

here and there, thereabouts

'invisible ' conditions like these are so isolating and debilitating aren't they, for both the person suffering and their loved ones.

Big hugs for this bad day. Know that you aren't alone and that on the low days hold on to each other's strength.

Tig x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He is getting help unfortunately medication takes time to work and in the mean time things are ridiculously difficult. A 2 and half hour panic attack this morning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know how hard these things are first hand as I lost my marriage to this, stay strong for him, if he's getting the help then it will get easier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffer with both and it's hard try and go for walks and get him active it will increase his mood and hopefully help

Distraction is the key until the tablets start to work

And don't forget to look after yourself and keep your friends around x

Hope this helps xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On this Morning they was on about this test you can do on line PHQ-9 or at the docs . It a screening tool for depression but it is used to monitor the severity of depression . Just think if some do that and see things are bad will seek out help maybe .

Op is he getting some help with this.?

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

[Removed by poster at 22/01/15 13:18:38]

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Hugs for when you need them xx

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

my 27 year old daughter has been sectioned for 3 years tomw she still has good and bad days

when she has a bad day we go back to square one so know what you are going through .. everyone is affected by it

hang in there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He is getting help unfortunately medication takes time to work and in the mean time things are ridiculously difficult. A 2 and half hour panic attack this morning

"
Did you call ask what you can do when he has a panic attack to help .. I hate this time of the year after Xmas and Dark cold days and nights . Roll on spring summer I say .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He is under the care of the crisis team atm they come in daily to offer support. He is coming off one sort of medication slowly and beginning new 1s so that of course is why the last few days have been exceptionaly difficult. I just hate to see the man I love in so much pain!! I know it will get better but to try and convince him is a hard task!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a former sufferer, I feel your pain. It's a tough time for you both.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Can people recommend any homely remidies to help. Obviously healthy eating getting out for walks and routine but what other things work for others!??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He is under the care of the crisis team atm they come in daily to offer support. He is coming off one sort of medication slowly and beginning new 1s so that of course is why the last few days have been exceptionaly difficult. I just hate to see the man I love in so much pain!! I know it will get better but to try and convince him is a hard task!! "
Well you being at his side now when he needs you it shows him how much you care and love him and he is not alone in this . I am sure things will get better it just takes time .. Hugs and kisses to you there. xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can people recommend any homely remidies to help. Obviously healthy eating getting out for walks and routine but what other things work for others!??"

Google it look for stuff that includes natural serotonin x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can people recommend any homely remidies to help. Obviously healthy eating getting out for walks and routine but what other things work for others!??"

Sorry you're both going through this. Distraction has helped me a lot in the past, keeping busy, having short/medium/long term things to look forward to. Hugs x

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Can people recommend any homely remidies to help. Obviously healthy eating getting out for walks and routine but what other things work for others!??"

A vitamin D supplement might help. A lot of people are vitamin D deficient, particularly in winter. Usually a fairly hefty supplement is needed. The regular one a day ones don't normally come close to being enough.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

CBT techniques may help too. I'll dig out the workbook that I used. It's very good.

NLP techniques can help too, especially for 'programming' relaxation methods as a means of dealing with panic attacks and similar.

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By *organ and rob zombieCouple
over a year ago

bradford

"Can people recommend any homely remidies to help. Obviously healthy eating getting out for walks and routine but what other things work for others!??

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel By Changing the Way You Think by Greenberger and Padesky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sunlight can affect some of the brain's chemicals and hormones. However, it's not clear what this effect is. One theory is that light stimulates a part of the brain called the hypothalamus, which controls mood, appetite and sleep. These things can affect how you feel .. So them light _oxes could help .. seen them on line. I know I feel so much better in the summer to how I feel in the winter .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel By Changing the Way You Think by Greenberger and Padesky."

thanks I will look it up x

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel By Changing the Way You Think by Greenberger and Padesky.

thanks I will look it up x

It's the book used for the CBT course that the local mental health service in North Hampshire ran.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to be careful what homeopathic remedies you use if any as they may interact with the medication. The simple basics are as said keep routine and exercise. Things will get better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just may not help but when I feel low I watch comedy films

I also have a say which I stole which helps focus

"Long is the way and hard that out of hell leads to the light "

Ps I'm not religious x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You need to be careful what homeopathic remedies you use if any as they may interact with the medication. The simple basics are as said keep routine and exercise. Things will get better"

Definitely be careful about homeopathic remedies on medication and speak to a doctor before thinking about taking any.

I'm not sure if it would help your husband but when I suffer from mild anxiety I use a technique to relax myself that my hypnotherapist taught me.

To begin with you close your eyes and imagine a colour that to you represents calmness. Then imagine that colour filling the room. Take slow deep breaths in imagining that you're breathing the colour in. Next think of a colour that to you represents stress/anger/bad feelings etc and imagine blowing that colour out when you exhale your deep breath. Imagine that colour going out the window or door. Keep doing this until the anxiety has passed.

Hope that made sense and that it works for your husband should he want to try it.

Big hugs for you both xx

Hids

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You need to be careful what homeopathic remedies you use if any as they may interact with the medication. The simple basics are as said keep routine and exercise. Things will get better

Definitely be careful about homeopathic remedies on medication and speak to a doctor before thinking about taking any.

I'm not sure if it would help your husband but when I suffer from mild anxiety I use a technique to relax myself that my hypnotherapist taught me.

Hope that made sense and that it works for your husband should he want to try it.

Big hugs for you both xx

Hids "

thanks

no I wouldn't just stick him on some over the counter medications that may have adverse effects. Just wanted to have an idea of the kind of things others have found worked so that I can ask the Dr if they are ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can people recommend any homely remidies to help. Obviously healthy eating getting out for walks and routine but what other things work for others!??"

I had CBT last year and it has given me the routine that you mention. I still have bad days/weeks but structure and purpose have made a massive difference to my anxiety and in turn that is eliminating much of the depression.

I've been struggling since Christmas and the techniques I learnt last year have made a massive difference this last few weeks. It's not a quick fix but it's worth doing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never suffered with anxiety or depression but have seen the effects first hand as my mother went through it for a number of years I would say that it seems your taking the right steps and asking the right questions and as such, this WILL end....though it's a hard road to travel.

We all know that we need to be there for those who suffer under this heavy yoke but pls, don't forget that you too as a 'carer' need support ok? Don't forget yourself in all this and make sure you yourself are supported through this...the bigger the support network for you all, the better...now is the time to talk to friends family loved ones or even seek professional guidance yourself...

Nobody is alone.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Yoga can be helpful, as well as gentle exercise a good class will also teach relaxation techniques and will help with the physical tension that comes with the anxiety. Then tbe techniques can be put to good use during anxiety attacks.

From the sounds of it you would both benefit so possibly something to do together.

If you can't find a good class look for a local Buddhist centre.

In diet terms opting for a 'clean' diet will help. Look for foods which only have ingredients that you'd use normally in your kitchen instead of an ingredient list like a chemists shopping list! Cutting back on sugar and caffeine can help too, but don't do it too quickly cos it can cause withdrawal if he's consuming a lot of either. Avoid 'diet' products and artificial sweeteners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clean eating and exercise (even just walks around the park etc someplace quiet to begin with together), also learning techniques for panick attacks. Look online theres loads you can use for distractons, etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes when you are in a black hole and all around you is darkness, the comfort of a reassuring familiar voice can work better than any drug.

And can help fend off other less friendly voices which mean you harm.

He just needs you to be there for him and let him know your there and love him.

Trust me I am in the hole next to him myself right now.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

CBT and various methods do work but try putting them into action when your having a full blown panic attack. I find the main thing when having a massive panic attack is fear.

If you can try and make him feel safe it can help.

Have the crisis team given you help with how to deal with it?

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"CBT and various methods do work but try putting them into action when your having a full blown panic attack.

I agree, although part of the idea is to change automatic thinking and habits so you get the benefits without actively having to try to use the techniques.

Getting to that stage takes a lot of time and effort though and you need to use the techniques regularly to maintain the benefits.

I found that just understanding automatic thinking and its effects and being able to identify it and be aware of it helped a bit.

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

"Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel By Changing the Way You Think by Greenberger and Padesky."

I used this book. It's brilliant. Very accessible.

Set yourself small tasks to complete in a day then build on them gradually.

Good luck. Things can get better, truly. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You never get over depression you just learn to deal with it.

You can either let it control you or you try your best to control it.

It's always there niggling away in the background telling you your worthless and no good.

When someone asks how you are, I usually try to say yeah good secretly in my head head i am screaming.

It's a poison that can destroy you and those around you.

Understanding triggers and signs of an oncoming episode can help.

Exercise, good diet and love can help.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"You never get over depression you just learn to deal with it.

You can either let it control you or you try your best to control it.

It's always there niggling away in the background telling you your worthless and no good.

When someone asks how you are, I usually try to say yeah good secretly in my head head i am screaming.

It's a poison that can destroy you and those around you.

Understanding triggers and signs of an oncoming episode can help.

Exercise, good diet and love can help."

That's not necessarily true. It is possible to get over depression. Sometimes it happens naturally. Sometimes it comes back but plenty of people do recover and don't experience it again.

The niggling telling you you're worthless is low self-esteem. That can be dealt with too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish you all the luck and support on the world. I suffered and still do occasionally and my marriage broke down because of it. Get whatever help suits you both and always try to be there for him no matter how hard it gets. You will get through this horrible underestimated condition. Stay strong and don't give up! X

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"CBT and various methods do work but try putting them into action when your having a full blown panic attack.

I agree, although part of the idea is to change automatic thinking and habits so you get the benefits without actively having to try to use the techniques.

Getting to that stage takes a lot of time and effort though and you need to use the techniques regularly to maintain the benefits.

I found that just understanding automatic thinking and its effects and being able to identify it and be aware of it helped a bit."
I've been in CBT for over ten years once every two weeks and its helped an awful lot in my general life but I still find it difficult when I'm very depressed or having a panic attack as the negative thoughts just come to the surface

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey guys been there still get bad days like everyone does . I've been on tablets for a few years now they do help eventually but not a quick fix . Lots of talking lots of hugs and lots of support for both are are needed . It does get better but does take time . Our thoughts go out to you both xxxxxx stay possitive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each individual is different and how they deal/cope/get over it varies as do the triggers

I have ways of dealing and I actually have a good support network even my colleagues know about my moods and accept them they also know when I'm low or when my job affects me and all help and support, I know my family don't understand it but support me still

Support him and love him as it shows you do and be patient Xx

Huge hugs ?

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

As a sufferer of depression and having an ex husband who suffered depression and anxiety my heart goes out to you. I myself am desperately trying to fight having another low point that'll need my med put again after finding out I'm to lose my job after 10yrs. Ironic the place that caused the majority of the problem to start I want to fight to stay at lol.

With my ex husband he used pressing on pressure points when he felt a panic attack conming on but I can't remember which ones I'm sure you could find it on Google. Relaxing massages worked to to help calm him. Might be worth a try. Hope things get better.

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

Speaking from exsperence make sure he is not alone. But on the other hand he needs to come to terms with what ever he is depressed over. I kept a diary i found it helpful to poor my feelings on to paper at reflect of ways of overcoming depression however this may not work for moat people.

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By *moothies.Couple
over a year ago

Woodthorpe

The crisis team should offer you a carers assessment too. Ask them about carer support workers in your area. Also make sure you're honest with them so you get the right support. With budgets and cut backs rife you have to be persistent. Sometimes people need to go to hospital to get enough support.

Keep your chin up x

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By *REW and HELENCouple
over a year ago

sutton in ashfield

I suffered depression 18 months ago, it came from nowhere..and took hold of me for nearly 4 months..i would stay in bed all day, not wanting to see any one..my partner told me to go to the doctors and found i had a chemical inbalence..gave me help and prescription drugs took time to gout the house, due topanic attacks..but made it back to work.ok now though..know how you feeling. (Male half of couple)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My panic attacks are mild now because I take medication. I use a breathing technique where you breathe in and out of alternating nostrils. It balances the carbon dioxide and oxygen levels in the bottom of your lungs. When you're having a full blown attack you can't focus on anything. My husband was by me all through mine telling me I will be fine,he got me through the worse time of my life. Just being there for him is a comfort for him

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