FabSwingers.com forum: pedants en mass

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

just reading some of the threads i've missed this weekend and wondered why there were so many negative comments about others opinions.

when i read a contributors comment, i always make the assumption it is in their opinion unless they have sepcified the origin of their input as A N Other.

Should we have to caveat all our comments before posting with either "THIS IS MY OPINION AND NOT BASED ON FACT JUST PERSONAL EXPERIENCE" or "I FOUND THIS LITTLE TID-BIT IN [insert point of origin]....?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this seems to be happening more and more lately. one couple on here seem to have everything they say pounced on by one or two other people

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"this seems to be happening more and more lately. one couple on here seem to have everything they say pounced on by one or two other people"

does seem on the increase. i'm not referring to folk that have a differing opinion, that's normal. it's when folk out and out say someone is wrong because it's not how they see things....seems rather churlish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a forum and, as in life itself, not everyone will agree with everyone elses opinion, so negative as well as positive and middle of the road counter opinions will be generated.

If anyone posts on a forum and expects everyone to agree with them - they are barking up the wrong tree.

Furthermore, unless you belong to the 'forum faithfull' you'll be lucky if anyone responds to your comment at all, let alone disagree or post a negative view upon it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah rather strange this one,,,,but i guess everyone has THEIR opinions! so be it...im not bothered..lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's a forum and, as in life itself, not everyone will agree with everyone elses opinion, so negative as well as positive and middle of the road counter opinions will be generated.

If anyone posts on a forum and expects everyone to agree with them - they are barking up the wrong tree.

Furthermore, unless you belong to the 'forum faithfull' you'll be lucky if anyone responds to your comment at all, let alone disagree or post a negative view upon it..."

as i said, im not referring to those differings of opinions...it happens in life.

i'm talking about when someone imparts what is their opinion, based on their personal experience and someone says that their experience is incorrect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a forum and, as in life itself, not everyone will agree with everyone elses opinion, so negative as well as positive and middle of the road counter opinions will be generated.

If anyone posts on a forum and expects everyone to agree with them - they are barking up the wrong tree.

Furthermore, unless you belong to the 'forum faithfull' you'll be lucky if anyone responds to your comment at all, let alone disagree or post a negative view upon it...

as i said, im not referring to those differings of opinions...it happens in life.

i'm talking about when someone imparts what is their opinion, based on their personal experience and someone says that their experience is incorrect."

Arrr there u have it! lol

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By *nnebellWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

I have to say im failrly new to the forums, that said i have often been put off commenting on threads due to some of the downright nasty and negative attacks made by some who frequent this space. I use the word 'attack' because this is how it appear's to me when reading some of the comments posted. This is not the first time this subject has come up and I doubt it will be the last.

I now publish my comments and be dammed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have to say im failrly new to the forums, that said i have often been put off commenting on threads due to some of the downright nasty and negative attacks made by some who frequent this space. I use the word 'attack' because this is how it appear's to me when reading some of the comments posted. This is not the first time this subject has come up and I doubt it will be the last.

I now publish my comments and be dammed! "

Yeah thats a bloody good post i can say here here too!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I now publish my comments and be dammed!

Yeah thats a bloody good post i can say here here too!!

There's only 1 way to find out .............

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By *yber pimpMan
over a year ago

durham area

there is a vast difference between disagreeing with someone and outright aggression towards them.

if you cant see or recognise that when it occurs perhaps you looking with blinkers on

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I now publish my comments and be dammed! "

I agree, and have even been told that because i was new i didn't know how this forum works (even though, other than the people that populate it, it works no different to any other forum on the internet...apart from the semantics).

I notice there is even a couple of folk that do write on the end of their comment "in my opinion".

i just query as to why we feel compelled do that and why folk can't just appreciate it is one persons version and say, "ok, that may be yours, but this is mine....." rather than, as you say, attack that person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there is a thread on here about bullying and one of the people saying how bad it is has, in my opinion, been guilty of the same thing this week. although to be fair she usually waits til a certain someone else starts first.the worst kind of bully,hangs out at the back egging people on. this is only my opinion and is not necessarily anybody else's view

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem, I think, is not so much the argument but the spoiling of a thread mearly to insult someone.

If a thread is asking a question and most people give help but your post just insults a commentor, whats the point?

Some people don't seem able to cope with a thread without their 2p in it, regardless of how pointless they actually are.

That said, it's good practice. If you wish to grow up to be a tumour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The regular posters will always deny that there are "cliques" but it does seem that when one poster offers an opinion other posters seem to back up that opinion, especially if it differs from a newer posters comment.

It does put people off posting for fear that they are going to be ridiculed.

Silly really as the more posters the more interesting the threads will be!

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By *nnebellWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

I do have to agree with you hence why I stole myself and have started to post on here, so far so good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can be part of a "new posters" clique lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The regular posters will always deny that there are "cliques" but it does seem that when one poster offers an opinion other posters seem to back up that opinion, especially if it differs from a newer posters comment.

It does put people off posting for fear that they are going to be ridiculed.

Silly really as the more posters the more interesting the threads will be!"

Don't know about cliques, but it is a fact that some posters can put up a thread to tell everyone that they farted at 3.05am yesterday morning and they will get 101 replies asking how did it smell and which way did it blow. I call them 'The Forum Faithfull'

On the other hand, you may get someone who isn't one of the forum faithful and they could put up a thread or reply to a thread giving a very valid point and it will be ignored totally

That is the vary nature of forums sadly ... and life in general, some folk have it - others don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We can be part of a "new posters" clique lol

lol..see 'interested in a clique'

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By *yber pimpMan
over a year ago

durham area

im amazed it hasnt been hijacked yet lol

they all at beach party lmao

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok lets not turn this into a thread where you are having a pop at certain people, even if you are not naming them, they are members also.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It does put people off posting for fear that they are going to be ridiculed.

Silly really as the more posters the more interesting the threads will be!

On the other hand, you may get someone who isn't one of the forum faithful and they could put up a thread or reply to a thread giving a very valid point and it will be ignored totally

That is the vary nature of forums sadly ... and life in general, some folk have it - others don't

You're correct and having posted on lots of different Forums over the years these Forums don't differ at all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hijacking threads can only be dealt with by the mods but doesn't seem to be a recognised problem here. Really is up to admin to decide.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"hijacking threads can only be dealt with by the mods but doesn't seem to be a recognised problem here. Really is up to admin to decide."

lol if every thread was stopped for changing subject there would be no threads left.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's interesting that a thread can start off being about one topic and end up being about something completely random. I don't see that as a problem at all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A refreshing thread.

I barely use the Scottish forum now as it's 90% full of the same folk wishing each other "happy birthday" or the like. A couple of times I've seen interesting questions or debates removed as they were "heading in the wrong direction" as far as admin were concerned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A refreshing thread.

yet others which turn into a 'clash of personalities' are allowed to run their course

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A refreshing thread.

*nods*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

had my answer, no further comment.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

OK lets not get into an Admin bashing thread either.

No one sees EVERYTHING that goes on behind the scenes or the posts that get removed, so where some threads might not look like there is anything wrong on them it is probably as posts have been removed, and people may we warned in mail or on the thread itself to keep personal issues away from the forums.

If anything is missed anyone can report the post from the thread itself.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OK lets not get into an Admin bashing thread either.

If anything is missed anyone can report the post from the thread itself."

i don't want to bash anyone and wouldnt want the thread to do that either.

sorry miss x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"had my answer, no further comment. "

If you want an answer from Admin who decide what is allowed on the forums , then the feedback section is your best bet.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"OK lets not get into an Admin bashing thread either.

If anything is missed anyone can report the post from the thread itself.

i don't want to bash anyone and wouldnt want the thread to do that either.

sorry miss x

Sadly, these type of threads always end up bashing someone and end up having posts removed/ people asked to reign it in or the whole thread removed as it gets out of hand......then everyone shouts about the mods not letting all hell break loose.

It is a shame, as your post about how sometimes other peoples posts get rubbished is spot on. If people just discussed what your point is then it doesn't get out of hand, but as you can see it just ends up people complaining about other people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is it apparent who the moderators are in the forums? other sites we have used the mods have had some sort of symbol beside their username

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"is it apparent who the moderators are in the forums? other sites we have used the mods have had some sort of symbol beside their username"

No, but you should normally notice if they shut threads or ask people to cool it etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

theoretical question...and if the mod is taking part in questionable behaviour?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"OK lets not get into an Admin bashing thread either. itself.

that's certainly not my intention. For what it's worth I only have admiration for admin as it's a thankless task that the give up their time for. However.......

For an adult site I do find them to quick off the mark to either jump in or delete. I follow other vanilla sites and you see far more informed debate and discussion forming. Without debate the forums become a tea party for the usual suspects to wish each other happy Easter and play games about the name if the person above. Not exactly intresting to the majority of Fab users. "

Sadly Admin will never please everyone.....some people will want things stamping on fast , others will want things to ride until everyone is threatening each other.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"theoretical question...and if the mod is taking part in questionable behaviour?"

REPORT from the post itself,the persons profile or click on CONTACT at the bottom of the page and the sixth option down.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Fascinating. Interesting. I read a title of "pedants en mass".

The OP and the whole thread is not about pedants at all.

And then some seemingly approve the very behaviour they knock in others.

I post. Simple as.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It is a shame, as your post about how sometimes other peoples posts get rubbished is spot on. If people just discussed what your point is then it doesn't get out of hand, but as you can see it just ends up people complaining about other people."

point beautifully proved

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"OK lets not get into an Admin bashing thread either. itself.

that's certainly not my intention. For what it's worth I only have admiration for admin as it's a thankless task that the give up their time for. However.......

actually there is a simple yet radical answer to this....

do something about it.... I know.... Radical....

you can be Reactive to people threads.... or you can be proactive and start them...

if you leave it up to everyone else to "do something" that invaribly nothing gets done...

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

I post therefore I am

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"I post therefore I am

you so am not. i am. spartacus.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

At the risk of hijacking a pedants thread, would someone kindly spell piranha correctly. i may sleep better for it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

At the risk of hijacking a pedants thread, would someone kindly spell piranha correctly. i may sleep better for it."

I believe, sir, you just did

sleep well my beauty x

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"hijacking threads can only be dealt with by the mods but doesn't seem to be a recognised problem here. Really is up to admin to decide."

on every forum i have ever been on there have always been thread hijacks... i think everyone has been guilty of it at times... do i think it happens here more than other places... not really....

threads do then to drift in different directions because of the written word... in fact you could be accused of "hijacking" because what you are talking about now wasn't what the OP talked about at the start...

determining what is a natural drift and what is a blatant hijack is awkward at the best of times.....

I wouldn't want to be a mod because quite frankly it is a thankless task at the best of times... you can't please everyone and you are bound to piss certain people off....

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

At the risk of hijacking a pedants thread, would someone kindly spell piranha correctly. i may sleep better for it.

I believe, sir, you just did

sleep well my beauty x"

so that's who i sent my pic to.

thank you. i will xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yet others which turn into a 'clash of personalities' are allowed to run their course"

As I've said in the past on another thread - it all depends upon who is involved .... Mods and Admin will say othwerwise, but facts are facts, some can get away with things whilst others can't. That isn't a reflection upon any individual, it's a fact of life.

I should know becuase I've often gotten away with saying something that I know for a fact that others wouldn't have. I've no idea why - maybe I was just lucky

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Maybe the best thing to do then from now on is ban the person for a first offence and rather let warnings or reminders go out.

It might piss off a few people who get banned, but hey, the forums will slow down with people moaning about "this person said this and got away with it and I only called someone a twat by accident and got banned"

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"theoretical question...and if the mod is taking part in questionable behaviour?"

I'd love to indulge in questionable behaviour with Rugby.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"theoretical question...and if the mod is taking part in questionable behaviour?

I'd love to indulge in questionable behaviour with Rugby."

Now thats the best type of behaviour to indulge in

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Maybe the best thing to do then from now on is ban the person for a first offence and rather let warnings or reminders go out.

like I said, you are not going to please everyone regardless of whatever way you handle stuff....

maybe by doing that the people who do get a rise out of inflaming situations would finally stop.... as long as we know what the rules are, then both newbie user or regular then can't use "ignorance" as an excuse.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody can please everybody all of the time - simple as !!

When I was a chat moderator If I banned someone, sometimes I was a hero, but if I banned one of the 'chat faithful' I was the biggest bastard on God's earth, no matter what they'd done to deserve the ban - all their buddies would come out in their defense - hence the reason I resigned amongst other things.

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By *undebigaryMan
over a year ago

dundee

Fascinating. Interesting. I read a title of "pedants en mass".

The OP and the whole thread is not about pedants at all.

And then some seemingly approve the very behaviour they knock in others.

I post. Simple as. "
Ok im going to show my ignorance here,but if u dont ask u dont learn.eh what is a pedant anyway.lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Maybe the best thing to do then from now on is ban the person for a first offence and rather let warnings or reminders go out.

like I said, you are not going to please everyone regardless of whatever way you handle stuff....

Admin like the forums to run smoothly, if we can help it we use discretion, sometimes a reminder goes out,sometimes a warning goes (depending on the severity of the post of course as a bad posts can result in a ban straight away) Let's face it, everyone can be an arse at one time at least once the forums.

We could obviously ban for a first " arse" moments, but then there would be threads galore started whinging about the power hungry mods. As you say, Admin won't be able to please everyone.

Don't forget though, they are not modded 24 hours a day so anyone can report a post if mods have missed it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let's face it, everyone can be an arse at one time at least once the forums.

'One time' ?? Pmsl I've been an arse 101 times and will probably continue to be one

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"Maybe the best thing to do then from now on is ban the person for a first offence and rather let warnings or reminders go out.

like I said, you are not going to please everyone regardless of whatever way you handle stuff....

We could obviously ban for a first " arse" moments, but then there would be threads galore started whinging about the power hungry mods. As you say, Admin won't be able to please everyone.

Don't forget though, they are not modded 24 hours a day so anyone can report a post if mods have missed it.

your quite right rugby.if you banned people for being an arse.there would be no forums.i would be the only one left.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must admit I've been trying to find some definition of forum rules past dont badmouth, phone numbers etc etc and unless I'm missing a links somewhere, I've not actually found a clear page of rules.

I'm interested personally because I've been wondering what, past these constitutes an offence and what consistences punishment.

We may say "don't badmouth or you'll be punished" but it really is vague in the extreme.

On a similar subject, what is a ban, what does it affect, for how long and does a person who reports someone ever get feedback from the results of the report?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Let's face it, everyone can be an arse at one time at least once the forums.

'One time' ?? Pmsl I've been an arse 101 times and will probably continue to be one

I have seen you be very blunt , but that isn't the same as being abusive. I have seen you get near the knuckle and took an odd post down and used my discretion like I do for lots of other users...but if you are not happy with that I can ban you if you really want, it isn't a problem

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

On a similar subject, what is a ban, what does it affect, for how long and does a person who reports someone ever get feedback from the results of the report?"

A ban can be anything from one day to a permanent one, depending on the severity of why you were banned. If you are banned on the forums you can't post in events either, but you can use the rest of the site.

Here is an explanation from Admin from another thread on how they deal with reports.

******Just a quick note. If people report others and we can verify that they have broken site rules, we always take action (either a first and final warning, partially suspended account, fully suspended, mixture of the above).

Every single report sent via the REPORT link is reviewed. Clearly it's not in our interests to have people on here who are bad for the site. Equally we need to verify what has been reported and be fair to those who have been reported.

Admin

PS. we never provide feedback on what has happened. It's just not practical given that we get 100s of reports a day.

Here is what the page says after a report has been submitted:

Your feedback has been saved.

A website admin will shortly review your feedback and take the necessary action. After reviewing the evidence available to us, we may disable an account, remove a user, disable certain aspects of that user's account or issue a warning.

By leaving feedback you help improve the site for everyone who uses it. Thank you.******

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let's face it, everyone can be an arse at one time at least once the forums.

'One time' ?? Pmsl I've been an arse 101 times and will probably continue to be one

Ooooh, get you ! near the knuckle is one thing ...........

Theres that fine line, and so long as it isn't crossed eh ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let's face it, everyone can be an arse at one time at least once the forums.

'One time' ?? Pmsl I've been an arse 101 times and will probably continue to be one

In fact looking at this post again, it could even be looked at as a veiled threat

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I could say whats veiled about it, but that would be cheeky really and probably took the wrong way

But, if you read my posts again, you will see I am asking you what you would prefer......a straight ban for one post removal or to use my discretion on your posts

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"just reading some of the threads i've missed this weekend and wondered why there were so many negative comments about others opinions.

when i read a contributors comment, i always make the assumption it is in their opinion unless they have sepcified the origin of their input as A N Other.

Erm..... I think your thread title is wrong, pedants tend to point out little inaccuracies, whereas your point is about people being nasty to others who have posted ..... ooppss, does this put me in the running for the "Pedant of the week" award?

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By *yber pimpMan
over a year ago

durham area

this has been and still is one of the most interesting threads in a long while.

although i must admit im no closer to understanding where this line is drawn as to good behaviour and banning.

i have noticed that retaliation to jibes and insults are more likely yo be targeted for mods disapproval than the actual instigator of the situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I could say whats veiled about it, but that would be cheeky really and probably took the wrong way

But, if you read my posts again, you will see I am asking you what you would prefer......a straight ban for one post removal or to use my discretion on your posts

Ok it wasn't veiled, it was a good old fashioned straight forward threat, the very same kind of thing that I got hauled over the coals for issuing when I was a mod in the chat rooms ...

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Oh my......I really thought you of all people could take a bit of banter and that is exactly what the first part of my post to you was.

I might go put the dinner out now, as it really is getting pedantic now.

brings us full circle though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Roast beef and Yorks puds ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But, if you read my posts again, you will see I am asking you what you would prefer......a straight ban for one post removal or to use my discretion on your posts

I'm not sure how comedic that question was meant to be (!) but I actually think it deserves an answer hehe.

I think a ban is a good thing.

Why? Well, a deleted post, whatever, can easily be missed or misinterpreted by the poster. A time ban (lets say a week as I have no idea how you work) makes the poster think about what they've done in a totally unequivocal way and possibly also consider the consequences of acting in such a way.

And yes I do think smacking a child is more effective than talking to them like a 25 year old.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Oh my......I really thought you of all people could take a bit of banter and that is exactly what the first part of my post to you was.

I might go put the dinner out now, as it really is getting pedantic now.

brings us full circle though

Can you lay a place for me too please Rugby?......all on my lonesome and an empty fridge here.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I havent been using the forum for very long but very very quickly picked up on certain vibes. I am the kind of poster who likes to hear others thoughts. Now what I post about doesnt always have to be through my own personal experience. I actually reiterated several times that what i had posted wasnt directly related to me or what i had personally experienced but was an information gathering type of post to hear others views. But that didnt seem to be understood by some people.

I dont always articulate myself clearly in posts so I take that on board. But I have had people tell me that i am wrong when i have expressed a view. When ive gone back and said no, i dont feel i am wrong, this is my opinion, yours may differ and that is fine, i get the sarcastic comments back then, and when i question that and ask for clarification, I get people pretending that they didnt mean to be sarcastic etc when they clearly did. (i hope that makes sense, Im not sure if it does but im not going back and changing it).

to be fair people will always misunderstand something or other, and thats fine, but i do find that you see the same people follow you around on a forum and disagree with whatever youve said.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

[Removed by poster at 29/08/10 18:33:41]

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

If some members didn't make such sweeping statements in their posts then we may see less pedantic replies from other members.....Sweeping statements about swinging will result in others challenging those views.

And rightly so

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

As will sweeping statements on mis-economic data.

regards

casper 2 , currently at a ski resort near you

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

What is mis-economic?

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

You are mixing up pedantic behaviour with post stalking.....

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

so, anyone who posts after a previous post is stalker?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so, anyone who posts after a previous post is stalker?"

Only if you are the prey

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

so, anyone who posts after a previous post is stalker?

Only if you are the prey

i pray to god, i'm not lol

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

No, someone who constantly seeks out the posts of a particular member so they can make sarcy comments is a post stalker.....

Also someone who out of the blue makes covert references to another member in a thread they are not involved in....is a post stalker.

Also known as a fixation.....

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"No, someone who constantly seeks out the posts of a particular member so they can make sarcy comments is a post stalker.....

Also someone who out of the blue makes covert references to another member in a thread they are not involved in....is a post stalker.

Also known as a fixation....."

well i never, thanks oracle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If some members didn't make such sweeping statements in their posts then we may see less pedantic replies from other members.....Sweeping statements about swinging will result in others challenging those views.

And rightly so

World of difference between challenging and outright abuse and aggression.

Which is what this thread was about. And how it affects those who see the aggression and feel unwilling to post for fear of the same abusers hassling them.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

I see little evidence of real abuse and aggression on these forums to be honest......it is over exaggerated at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see little evidence of real abuse and aggression on these forums to be honest......it is over exaggerated at times."

So I guess you think all the people in threads like this commenting on it are liars and exaggerating?

Nice to know for sure, but I'm not at all shocked to see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, someone who constantly seeks out the posts of a particular member so they can make sarcy comments is a post stalker.....

Also someone who out of the blue makes covert references to another member in a thread they are not involved in....is a post stalker.

Also known as a fixation....."

How very sweeping of you.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's not a lot of abuse but there's plenty of aggression - possibly stemming from frustration and manifesting itself as keyboard warrior syndrome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most things in these forums are blown out of all proportion.

For Christs sake its a forum on a swingers site, if folks took it for what it is there'd be less offended and displeased individuals.

It's a bit of fun, nothing more nothing less.

Christ help us all if the internet suffered a catastrpohic failure and no one could access there lifelines for a year or two

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

See there you go.....you used the word 'liars', did I say that?

No....once again over exaggeration, you are over cooking a point in order to inflame the discussion.

I simply said that 'I' see little evidence of real abuse and aggression on these forums.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Most things in these forums are blown out of all proportion.

For Christs sake its a forum on a swingers site, if folks took it for what it is there'd be less offended and displeased individuals.

It's a bit of fun, nothing more nothing less.

Christ help us all if the internet suffered a catastrpohic failure and no one could access there lifelines for a year or two

Exactly, there are always going to be differing opinions on forums like this, I do wonder sometimes how people cope in the real world if they find this stuff threatening and aggressive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well was a good thread, for a while, but I'll not bother now I think.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

exhibit A : you have more chance winning the lottery than getting laid"

said without any knowledge of the targets purchsing habits of tickets by a poster usually devoid of any sign of humour.

abuse or exaggeration?

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Well was a good thread, for a while, but I'll not bother now I think."

You will.....It's discussion, more than one opinion is healthy, not to be seen as a threat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" ...........

No....once again over exaggeration, you are over cooking a point in order to inflame the discussion.

..........."

Overcooking a point a bit is actually OK if you're using it to check if someone really does believe and understand what they've posted and hasn't just cribbed an uncredited paragraph or two from Wiki or elsewhere.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

exhibit A : you have more chance winning the lottery than getting laid"

said without any knowledge of the targets purchsing habits of tickets by a poster usually devoid of any sign of humour.

abuse or exaggeration?"

Made in direct response to you once again making a covert reference to me in a thread I wasn't involved in....post stalking.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

exhibit A : you have more chance winning the lottery than getting laid"

said without any knowledge of the targets purchsing habits of tickets by a poster usually devoid of any sign of humour.

abuse or exaggeration?"

Well I;ve won the lottery 5 times since it's been going

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Most things in these forums are blown out of all proportion.

For Christs sake its a forum on a swingers site, if folks took it for what it is there'd be less offended and displeased individuals.

It's a bit of fun, nothing more nothing less.

Christ help us all if the internet suffered a catastrpohic failure and no one could access there lifelines for a year or two

Exactly, there are always going to be differing opinions on forums like this, I do wonder sometimes how people cope in the real world if they find this stuff threatening and aggressive."

But as someone who only posts on the odd occasion, I do still read the posts and some are aimed specificaly at other members, as to the 'real world' - I would say it is very easy to hide behind a keyboard

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

exhibit A : you have more chance winning the lottery than getting laid"

said without any knowledge of the targets purchsing habits of tickets by a poster usually devoid of any sign of humour.

abuse or exaggeration?

Made in direct response to you once again making a covert reference to me in a thread I wasn't involved in....post stalking."

Ah, you're happy to give it but won't take it, i see

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

exhibit A : you have more chance winning the lottery than getting laid"

said without any knowledge of the targets purchsing habits of tickets by a poster usually devoid of any sign of humour.

abuse or exaggeration?

Made in direct response to you once again making a covert reference to me in a thread I wasn't involved in....post stalking.

Ah, you're happy to give it but won't take it, i see"

Now, now though all on here were lovers not fighters

play nice children

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

exhibit A : you have more chance winning the lottery than getting laid"

said without any knowledge of the targets purchsing habits of tickets by a poster usually devoid of any sign of humour.

abuse or exaggeration?

Made in direct response to you once again making a covert reference to me in a thread I wasn't involved in....post stalking."

FFS does anyone else not live in Torquay but you? Is there room for anyone else?

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

exhibit A : you have more chance winning the lottery than getting laid"

said without any knowledge of the targets purchsing habits of tickets by a poster usually devoid of any sign of humour.

abuse or exaggeration?

Made in direct response to you once again making a covert reference to me in a thread I wasn't involved in....post stalking.

FFS does anyone else not live in Torquay but you? Is there room for anyone else?"

I think you know exactly what or who you were referring to, lets face it you have been doing it for a while on here, but don't worry.....I find it amusing to have a post stalker.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

exhibit A : you have more chance winning the lottery than getting laid"

said without any knowledge of the targets purchsing habits of tickets by a poster usually devoid of any sign of humour.

abuse or exaggeration?

Made in direct response to you once again making a covert reference to me in a thread I wasn't involved in....post stalking.

Ah, you're happy to give it but won't take it, i see

Now, now though all on here were lovers not fighters

play nice children

Shhhhhhh..... pull up a chair and pass the popcorn, this is where it gets intersting!!!

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Oh look, I found a random "e".... anyone lost an "e"?

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Ohhhhh looky, Bradford and Torquay are having a match... looks like one nil to Torquay so far.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

"Oh look, I found a random "e".... anyone lost an "e"?

OK my round what you having?

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Right so no-one (moderators included) thinks I am even slightly interested in arguing with Mushroom.....I promise not to comment on any of his posts if he can do the same, somehow I don't think it will be me who can't go more than a day or two without giving in to the fixation.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Mmm I think I'll have a lager n lime ta, but I dont want to get too pissed, I am keeping score y'know!

2 nil to Torquay... Bradford seem to have lost their way at the back, playing the old "4,4,2" doesnt seem to be going well for them.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"Mmm I think I'll have a lager n lime ta, but I dont want to get too pissed, I am keeping score y'know!

2 nil to Torquay... Bradford seem to have lost their way at the back, playing the old "4,4,2" doesnt seem to be going well for them."

lol 1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1 and no subs

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

Oh it's the old north south divide I see

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

Just spent 40 minutes reading this thread from start to end and that's 40 minutes I won't ever get back

It started off as a good thread to read with good discussion points, faltered a wee bit in the middle but got back on track and then ended in a wee "handbags at dawn" moment!

Have to say that is the norm on the forums here and as long as it doesn't go too far then what's the harm being done? Not everyone will never agree with everyone else, that's life!

As always, just my opinion!

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Mmm I think I'll have a lager n lime ta, but I dont want to get too pissed, I am keeping score y'know!

2 nil to Torquay... Bradford seem to have lost their way at the back, playing the old "4,4,2" doesnt seem to be going well for them.

lol 1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1 and no subs

Damn right no subs.... else someone might deploy their Tridents and then it would all kick off!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Found this thread really interesting and am just wondering if some of the time friction arises simply because the written word (just like on MSN etc) does not alwyas convey all parts of message and it is easy to come across as more aggressive as intended. It takes a few mins to respond to a particular post and sometimes by this time a situation started as simple banter has escalated into something less friendly.

The other thing is that we as humans make assumptions about how a message or post was intended... and sometimes we get it wrong and assume "unfriendly" when perhaps it was not? Even adding a smiley does not always change that...

Just a thought...

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see"

Ok, now thats just taken the biscuit... its always the "North South divide"... what about us in the West huh? Always getting left out, you never here about the "East West divide" do ya.... typical exclusional bloody English!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

And how bout the South east divide?? lol lol even though i live in the north ie notts!! lol

im just bein kind to those that do. lol

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Found this thread really interesting and am just wondering if some of the time friction arises simply because the written word (just like on MSN etc) does not alwyas convey all parts of message and it is easy to come across as more aggressive as intended. It takes a few mins to respond to a particular post and sometimes by this time a situation started as simple banter has escalated into something less friendly.

Just a thought...

I think that could well be the case... just because I happen to disagree with someones opinion then it doesn't mean at all that I am being agressive...

I think some people have problems with people saying that they disagree, and explaining why...and that is what they have the issue with.

but with any forum sometimes you do get people where there opinion is the only opinion that matters and anyone else is just rude to question that....

for me then at least if you can back it up then you can see where they are coming from and you have a bit of background then just a simple yes/no....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a thought...

I think that could well be the case... just because I happen to disagree with someones opinion then it doesn't mean at all that I am being agressive...

I think some people have problems with people saying that they disagree, and explaining why...and that is what they have the issue with.

but with any forum sometimes you do get people where there opinion is the only opinion that matters and anyone else is just rude to question that....

for me then at least if you can back it up then you can see where they are coming from and you have a bit of background then just a simple yes/no.... "

WEll i say yes! lol hehehe or is it no. lol

u know wots next! lol er i wont say it lol.phew!

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Actually as the north south divide is generally distinguised as being north of Watford, you are with us in the north.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Actually as the north south divide is generally distinguised as being north of Watford, you are with us in the north.

Phew! thank god 4 that hunny.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Actually as the north south divide is generally distinguised as being north of Watford, you are with us in the north.

Northeners, us?

Hell no!!!

We do have some pride y'know!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Actually as the north south divide is generally distinguised as being north of Watford, you are with us in the north.

Northeners, us?

Hell no!!!

We do have some pride y'know!!!

2rite u do!!!

n me too!! lol

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Actually as the north south divide is generally distinguised as being north of Watford, you are with us in the north.

Northeners, us?

Hell no!!!

We do have some pride y'know!!!

Buy ya own lager and lime then

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Actually as the north south divide is generally distinguised as being north of Watford, you are with us in the north.

Northeners, us?

Hell no!!!

We do have some pride y'know!!!

2rite u do!!!

n me too!! lol

I presume you mean pride in being a northerner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Actually as the north south divide is generally distinguised as being north of Watford, you are with us in the north.

Northeners, us?

Hell no!!!

We do have some pride y'know!!!

2rite u do!!!

n me too!! lol

I presume you mean pride in being a northerner"

Oh yeah i sure do....u cant beat it.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Hah, says you, what's wrong with good old fashioned multiplication?

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Hah, says you, what's wrong with good old fashioned multiplication?

In the words of the song, thats the name of the game

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Actually as the north south divide is generally distinguised as being north of Watford, you are with us in the north.

Northeners, us?

Hell no!!!

We do have some pride y'know!!!

Buy ya own lager and lime then

Oh, like that is it lol!

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Actually as the north south divide is generally distinguised as being north of Watford, you are with us in the north.

Northeners, us?

Hell no!!!

We do have some pride y'know!!!

Buy ya own lager and lime then

Oh, like that is it lol!

Well I assume you would be to proud to take a drink from me

Take that as you wish

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Hah, says you, what's wrong with good old fashioned multiplication?

Uh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Hah, says you, what's wrong with good old fashioned multiplication?

Uh?

Eh?

(thread closed by moderator)

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Hah, says you, what's wrong with good old fashioned multiplication?

Uh?

Eh?

Oh!

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Hah, says you, what's wrong with good old fashioned multiplication?

Uh?

Eh?

Oh!

Que!

Que

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Hah, says you, what's wrong with good old fashioned multiplication?

Uh?

Eh?

Oh!

ahhhhhhhh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Hah, says you, what's wrong with good old fashioned multiplication?

Uh?

Eh?

Oh!

Que!

Que

Barbers?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking through forum posts it's like observing some people trying to flex their brain-power over others......a verbal who can pee the highest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking through forum posts it's like observing some people trying to flex their brain-power over others......a verbal who can pee the highest.

Or! shit the lowest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking through forum posts it's like observing some people trying to flex their brain-power over others......a verbal who can pee the highest.

Men havingan advantage there.. they got the more accurate weapon when it comes to peeing... and verbal peeing... well they are said to have a bigger size brain lol... unfair competitionfor us girls, would nt you say...;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking through forum posts it's like observing some people trying to flex their brain-power over others......a verbal who can pee the highest.

Or! shit the lowest.

.... or not in some cases

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Hah, says you, what's wrong with good old fashioned multiplication?

Uh?

Eh?

Oh!

ahhhhhhhh!

Bisto.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"Looking through forum posts it's like observing some people trying to flex their brain-power over others......a verbal who can pee the highest.

oh no,i wasnt even good at peeing the highest.before it involved brain power.ive got no chance now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking through forum posts it's like observing some people trying to flex their brain-power over others......a verbal who can pee the highest.

Christ !!!

men can even miss the toilet..

If they can miss a hole that big then............

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking through forum posts it's like observing some people trying to flex their brain-power over others......a verbal who can pee the highest.

Christ !!!

men can even miss the toilet..

If they can miss a hole that big then............

Arrrr yes!! but sometimes u women do aswell.lol lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is life really that bad all you have got to worry about is who is an arse with the typed word??

people clash its part and parcel of the ordinary world and its the same on here just as there are nice people there are also nasty irritating self centred over opinionated shallow ones its how YOU deal with them that makes the difference!

i could name a few on here who actually make me want to hunt them down and play mi5 spies with them and thats on a good day, but there are others i can have a good debate with and even with differing opinions still be civil and adult and not rude and throwin the toys out of the pram or exchange insults with!

not that im perfect , i think a few occassions i have sailed close to the wind and i have had posts pulled and rightly so xx

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"is life really that bad all you have got to worry about is who is an arse with the typed word??

not that im perfect , i think a few occassions i have sailed close to the wind and i have had posts pulled and rightly so xx"

thats outrageous mznwty.if you keep talking sense,im reporting you.be warned young lady.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just a thought...

i think sometimes the tone can be misunderstood and people will grasp that as agression.

however, one particular post said "i have found...." on one particular post and they were told they were incorrect, it's not a first, won't be a last. Though I wonder what it is that prompts folk to tell others that their experiences are incorrect.

We're all here to share our experiences, surely? (in my opinion that is, I'm sure some would disagree!)

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

We're all here to share our experiences, surely? (in my opinion that is, I'm sure some would disagree!)

Ready to share when you are

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some folk wid argue black was white just for the sake of it!

everyone experiences things different in life but some just cant grasp that because its not the same experience that it must be wrong the ego is a wonderful thing as is self centeredness and to be honest, in my eyes they more to be pitied or laughed at from behind a screen!! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But every forum on any website is always has it's quota of self righteous, self opinionated, pompous, know it all, never wrong twats ...

And theres always the other one who 'organises' everything. It never fails, every forum has at least one of each of the above

Forums are a funny kettle of fish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But every forum on any website is always has it's quota of self righteous, self opinionated, pompous, know it all, never wrong twats ...

And theres always the other one who 'organises' everything. It never fails, every forum has at least one of each of the above

Forums are a funny kettle of fish"

its the same everywhere in life! work, friends etc everyone has their roles in life but the difference with the internet and forums is that anyone can develop an online personality that is totally different from their ordinary ones and then there are the ones who are just fuckin annoyin in this life and the ordinary one x

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

forums are forums,so people can express thier differences of opinions.they would be pointless otherwise.at times what is written,is misunderstood.sometimes unintentionally,sometimes intentionally.we are all adults,and having a thick skin is essential.we all make mistakes,or have our arsehole moments.thats life,and at times that makes it more intresting.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WEll im vexed n stumped now,

stuck 4 words! lol

now theres a thing!

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"WEll im vexed n stumped now,

stuck 4 words! lol

now theres a thing!

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"WEll im vexed n stumped now,

stuck 4 words! lol

now theres a thing!

lol

WEll i must say then---- "Don`t expect to run with the Dogs IF you Piss like a Puppy!!"

if that makes sense?

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"WEll im vexed n stumped now,

stuck 4 words! lol

now theres a thing!

lol

i hope in some way i was responsable for this.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Hah, says you, what's wrong with good old fashioned multiplication?

Uh?

Oh shit, now I feel stupid, I just got it lol!!! Divide... multiply.... jeez I am slipping!¬!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh it's the old north south divide I see

Hah, says you, what's wrong with good old fashioned multiplication?

Uh?

Oh shit, now I feel stupid, I just got it lol!!! Divide... multiply.... jeez I am slipping!¬!!

Marvellous! thats great...dont worry i sumtimes slip too!

my old age 36 aswell .

i forget wot happened last week me! lol

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By *yber pimpMan
over a year ago

durham area

"I see little evidence of real abuse and aggression on these forums to be honest......it is over exaggerated at times."

did you go to spec savers for your rose coloured glasses

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

ok this is just going round in circles with nit picking galore.

Thread over now.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"I see little evidence of real abuse and aggression on these forums to be honest......it is over exaggerated at times.

did you go to spec savers for your rose coloured glasses

Get real, if you want to see abuse and aggression then go to a few of the pubs in Merthyr on a friday or saturday night!!!!

Look, its simple, on here no-one gets slapped, bitten, punched, kicked or needs to feel threatened.

Any "abuse" (handbags at ten paces?)can be dealt with by reporting it to admin.

If you really cant stand the heat, then take the age old advice and "stay outta the kitchen"!!

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