FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Preconceptions

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Seen a couple of TV shows recently about swingers / sex clubs etc and it go me and Portugal thinking about how we viewed this whole thing *before* we were part of it.

Now, I've had much more experience than her (15+ years) so I was kinda young when I began, but she was different and we both had very different preconceptions of it all- some of which are totally unfounded and media portrayed and others that are both fortunately, and in some cases, unfortunately, true.

Whatabout you? Did you come to the lifestyle with ideas in mind? Did they hold up for you?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

I didnt even think about it, just kinda stumbled into it still stumbling round now

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

No preconceptions whatsoever, i was long in the lifestyle before i even knew what it was

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford


"Seen a couple of TV shows recently about swingers / sex clubs etc and it go me and Portugal thinking about how we viewed this whole thing *before* we were part of it.

Now, I've had much more experience than her (15+ years) so I was kinda young when I began, but she was different and we both had very different preconceptions of it all- some of which are totally unfounded and media portrayed and others that are both fortunately, and in some cases, unfortunately, true.

Whatabout you? Did you come to the lifestyle with ideas in mind? Did they hold up for you?"

On a good day/week : Yes, Yes

On a bad week : Yes, No

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I think the whole "was doing it before I knew it" is fairly common a way into it.

I guess not many suddenly think "Oh, I'll be a swinger!"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not a swinger as such, and am glad to be introduced to the delights of this site, and be able to talk openly about the joys of sex without anyone betting an eyelid!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the whole "was doing it before I knew it" is fairly common a way into it.

I guess not many suddenly think "Oh, I'll be a swinger!""

i was intruduced to it by a guy i now do some contacting for ....i thought he was a mild mannered accountant??? ...... I had no preconceptions because i never even knew that world existed......i do now and ive met some fabulous people who have become great friends and im finding it really difficult t o think of my future without some sort of "sharing " in it ,,,,,,

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the whole "was doing it before I knew it" is fairly common a way into it.

I guess not many suddenly think "Oh, I'll be a swinger!"

i was intruduced to it by a guy i now do some contacting for ....i thought he was a mild mannered accountant??? ...... I had no preconceptions because i never even knew that world existed......i do now and ive met some fabulous people who have become great friends and im finding it really difficult t o think of my future without some sort of "sharing " in it ,,,,,,"

oops i meant contracting......

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was introduced ta swinging through my bi side when i was 17 (45 now) and been in it ever since

Didn't really know a great deal about it then thou

Do i wish id not been so young??/ yes but i don't regret it either lol xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etitesaraTV/TS
over a year ago

rochdale

We went along to a couple of TV-friendly clubs as a safe way of giving me somewhere to 'be' Sara, slowly ended up playing with a couple of people & realised we we swingers!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was married at 20 and was a virgin.

Until I left my husband seven years ago he was the only person I slept with.

I've always believed in monogommy and dropped several friends because of their open relationships.

Madam Cyn lived nearby and I was horrified at the goings on and couldn't understand how people could be so disgusting. Oooh I was fired with righteous indignation at the thought! Don't get me started on my thoughts when I saw Hedonism on tv! I thought people were depraved deviants: sick...then I discovered the internet!

I started with dating and before I knew it I had become one of the depraved deviants I'd once detested, in three years.

Long may I continue!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was married at 20 and was a virgin.

Until I left my husband seven years ago he was the only person I slept with.

I've always believed in monogommy and dropped several friends because of their open relationships.

Madam Cyn lived nearby and I was horrified at the goings on and couldn't understand how people could be so disgusting. Oooh I was fired with righteous indignation at the thought! Don't get me started on my thoughts when I saw Hedonism on tv! I thought people were depraved deviants: sick...then I discovered the internet!

I started with dating and before I knew it I had become one of the depraved deviants I'd once detested, in three years.

Long may I continue! "

Brilliant, the kind of answer I love

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

The one thing i would of wished is when i was a teenager knowing that there where lots more people out there with the same thoughts and ideas about sex as i do. Then i wouldnt of had to fight with myself thinking i was a weirdo and the only person like it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/08/10 13:44:54]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly cannot remember ever thinking the swingers scene is sleazy/dirty/immoral/whatever...

And it isn't.

Just like-minded people gathering together and have sexy fun, that's all.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was married at 20 and was a virgin.

Until I left my husband seven years ago he was the only person I slept with.

I've always believed in monogommy and dropped several friends because of their open relationships.

Madam Cyn lived nearby and I was horrified at the goings on and couldn't understand how people could be so disgusting. Oooh I was fired with righteous indignation at the thought! Don't get me started on my thoughts when I saw Hedonism on tv! I thought people were depraved deviants: sick...then I discovered the internet!

I started with dating and before I knew it I had become one of the depraved deviants I'd once detested, in three years.

Long may I continue!

sassy im with you ....are you my soul sister ??

i remeber seeing hedonism on the Tv and thought exactly ythe same thing there was this very large lady in a leather costume with it all hanging out ,just could never see that as being anything i would want in my life .....how wrong could i have been ..i now inhabit a very different world and i beleive im a much better person for it ...i dont judge anyone now just accept that we are all glorious individuals

Brilliant, the kind of answer I love "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/08/10 13:45:53]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

The only preconception that I had as a female was that maybe no-one would want to play with me as I had this idea that all the women were supermodel types,I think that came from watching American programmes about swinging

But we came in with no expectations and open minds and have explored a fair few fantasys,met some fabulous people,I did'nt expect to make so many close friends as I have as we were very much fuck and run when we started and although thats not for everyone its something that has been an unexpected bonus for us

On the negative side,I thought that people would be less judgemental in swinging,in their way of thinking and have mature open minds,that is'nt true though,ive seen behaviour better fitting in a playground with petty jealousies,back stabbing,and he said she said comments

Much the same as real life really,so I don't know why I thought this lifestyle would be any different

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I honestly cannot remember ever thinking the swingers scene is sleazy/dirty/immoral/whatever..."

But this is still the image presented by the general media whenever given the chance, sad to say.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

On the negative side,I thought that people would be less judgemental in swinging,in their way of thinking and have mature open minds,that is'nt true though,ive seen behaviour better fitting in a playground with petty jealousies,back stabbing,and he said she said comments

"

Well, swingers are human, a group of humans and this is pretty much standard behaviour for the human race - unfortunately. But yes, I agree, I thought that "swingers" would be far less judgemental than, lets say, joe public, but they aren't.

I have to say, from my personal POV and experience, the fetish scene presents itself as far far less judgemental than the swinging scene.

But that's complete bollocks as well!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"

On the negative side,I thought that people would be less judgemental in swinging,in their way of thinking and have mature open minds,that is'nt true though,ive seen behaviour better fitting in a playground with petty jealousies,back stabbing,and he said she said comments

Well, swingers are human, a group of humans and this is pretty much standard behaviour for the human race - unfortunately. But yes, I agree, I thought that "swingers" would be far less judgemental than, lets say, joe public, but they aren't.

I have to say, from my personal POV and experience, the fetish scene presents itself as far far less judgemental than the swinging scene.

But that's complete bollocks as well!"

To cross between the 2 scenes must be an eye opener

I had a very long chat with a professional Domme a while back as she was at a swingers club just seeing what it was like,her attitude towards swinging was extremely judgmental and completely preconcieved,And while I was really interested in her way of life and happy to listen to what she had to say I felt she was sneering at mine and told her so

Therefore I don't know why she was so interested in wanting to watch me play and I don't know why she was so offended when I told her no

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"

On the negative side,I thought that people would be less judgemental in swinging,in their way of thinking and have mature open minds,that is'nt true though,ive seen behaviour better fitting in a playground with petty jealousies,back stabbing,and he said she said comments

Well, swingers are human, a group of humans and this is pretty much standard behaviour for the human race - unfortunately. But yes, I agree, I thought that "swingers" would be far less judgemental than, lets say, joe public, but they aren't.

I have to say, from my personal POV and experience, the fetish scene presents itself as far far less judgemental than the swinging scene.

But that's complete bollocks as well!

To cross between the 2 scenes must be an eye opener

I had a very long chat with a professional Domme a while back as she was at a swingers club just seeing what it was like,her attitude towards swinging was extremely judgmental and completely preconcieved,And while I was really interested in her way of life and happy to listen to what she had to say I felt she was sneering at mine and told her so

Therefore I don't know why she was so interested in wanting to watch me play and I don't know why she was so offended when I told her no

"

Thats my perception of people in the fetish scene or the ones ive come across anyway

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

To cross between the 2 scenes must be an eye opener

"

it is, quite, I think it's harder to go fetish - swinger than in reverse, especially if you enjoy the generalised fetish "fashion" scene. Plus it is fair to say you really do not often get sex at fetish clubs, hence of course why they cater to fetish!

Fetish clubs to me are like your socials I read about - social events with more possiblity, but social events first and foremost.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

The colour's draining out of me as i read. I'm turning vanilla.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

The colour's draining out of me as i read. I'm turning vanilla."

Turning is a strong word.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the whole "was doing it before I knew it" is fairly common a way into it.

I guess not many suddenly think "Oh, I'll be a swinger!"

i was intruduced to it by a guy i now do some contacting for ....i thought he was a mild mannered accountant??? ...... I had no preconceptions because i never even knew that world existed......i do now and ive met some fabulous people who have become great friends and im finding it really difficult t o think of my future without some sort of "sharing " in it ,,,,,,"

same thing happened to me. chatting to a mate one night i shared my 'frustrated' status and he suggested this site. i was totally shocked as in my mind swingin was what dirty old couples and men did (sorry!! lol), but it piqued my curiousity when i had a squizz at the site

i've had lots of fun and made some great friends on here, so all good. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i was totally shocked as in my mind swingin was what dirty old couples and men did (sorry!! lol)"

But this is what you see on TV don't you? Invariably it some old wrinkly americans having a house party and you really do just want to cringe and turn over

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

But then I see another program about sex parties in london where only the beautiful people go by invite only and I wonder... how do you get an invite (as if!).

But, seriously, I have seen this program at one point.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I love the way they portray swingers in benidorm it makes me howl

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i was totally shocked as in my mind swingin was what dirty old couples and men did (sorry!! lol)

But this is what you see on TV don't you? Invariably it some old wrinkly americans having a house party and you really do just want to cringe and turn over "

precisely this! my preconception was off that tv show of the caribbean hotel (think it was called Hedonism) with swingers having sex in the pools and jacuzzis and swanning around naked, but they were all old with saggy bits lmao

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But then I see another program about sex parties in london where only the beautiful people go by invite only and I wonder... how do you get an invite (as if!).

But, seriously, I have seen this program at one point. "

Clubs and parties do not interest me, but I've seen these private parties on tv and found them hilarious! The attendees seem so far up themselves there can't be room for anyone else!

The locations are closely guarded and "exclusive" to keep the plebs out.

Everyone indeed looks like a supermodel!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

There is a club just for beautiful people, when i say is ive just looked at clubs and it doesnt appear to be on the list anymore. Maybe not enough beautiful people to attend

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

I recall a Channel 4 program years back, called ORGY. It featured 4 couples at a house party, they all appeared "normal" people, very nice they were too. Made it all look very clean, friendly and acceptable. Gorgeous busty woman at the heart of it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top