FabSwingers.com forum: Infertility

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Such a down bringing post I know..... But last year I (Dom) was told I would never be able to have kids.

Two years ago i suffered a testicualar torsion (sorest thing I have ever felt also extremely rare for my age) and since then went through several test one of which was a biopsy in just where the we're seeing if they could get anything from the source as to speak.

Results were horrific apparently I was born with a defect (that they don't know anything about) from birth which caused the torsion and has left me completely infertile. And our only option is donor or adoption.

Since finding out I have went through majoR episodes of depression. As has sub. It plays on our mind every day and simple things like seeing a baby etc can make is down. In recent weeks we have started councilling etc.

Has any other fabbers went through anything like this and how do you cope. (You don't need to reveal anything but any advice would be of some help)

Sorry for such a "morbid" post but just curious as to if we are the only ones and if not how to deal with things

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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago

North Yorkshire by the Sea

Counselling generally is a good thing so do try it, but find one with experience of supporting people in situations similar to yourselves. It also sounds like you may be feeling a sense of grief and loss for what may not be possible, so the stages of bereavement grief may be worth looking at too (google stages of grief). Feeling for you both xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you. When doctor said it was depression both of us and family said exactly what you have... Grief but doctor insisted. But it's so hard getting our head around it all. We are a strong couple in terms of talking and helping each other. But when she is down I feel helpless and vica versa. The councilling helps to an extent but it focuses mainly in dealing with what ever option we go for not the problem at hand. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ours is a little different as I already have a 11 year old son.

Basically due to PCOS and possibly now endometritis I shel am practically infertile. I had a ectopic and been told that with out medical intervention I wouldn't fall pregnant with medical intervention the % is so low that it's not worth going through the heart ache.

We tried for 3 years and every month was horrific hoping it was going to hapoen. Then suddenly we Came to terms with it, partly due to my son going to upper school and us having freedom to do what we want as I say we're lucky to have him. I still feel a little guilty that I haven't given Paul children but he sees my son as his and has been in his life since he was 5.

Now we just enjoy being auntie and uncle to our friends children my best friend is pregnant and I can't wait as we're going to help with child care.

It takes time but you will come to terms with it eventually but right now you need to have counciling before you venture into the drawn out adoption process.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will PM you. We have a very similar story.

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