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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Smart TV Vs Not so smart TV
Being a bit flush, I made the mistake of getting a brand spanking new smart 4x ultra HD 40" tv along with a tv smart camera and wireless keyboard/mouse so I could do everything including t'internet, for chat, camming, Skype, catchup tv, netflix, etc etc on one thing without having to get up of my big fat arse and plug other stuff in.. all smug with myself thinking...yeah! now super tech head, mega hip 21st century all-in-one super ninja tv (that'd be me...not the Telly)
Tech flaws: apps can be very glitchy, you really have to have a constant above standard internet connection for everything to work as designed... if you don't apps won't load what ever tv/video catchup apps you are using just close and the tv either switches back to terrestrial tv or you have reload the app and doesn't remember where you was up to with whatever you were watching.... most apps on tablets/laptops that just buffer when this happens. That fancy all singing all dancing FUCKIN' SMART ARSE TV (not me..alright, maybe it is sometimes)) also requires logging in each time all this stuff happens.. AAAAARGH!!! As a footnote: being of late middle age, I really Have no clue of great technological advances of the last few years... I was under the impression everything was in all this new fangled High definition.. I was daft enough to see how fuckin amazing it looked switched on in Curry's.. and not having the common sense to actually find out how much actual Ultra HD stuff was actually currently being broadcast to our rabbit hutch.... Very nearly absolutely fuck-all!!!! On finally deciding to check all these details.. even on standard HD, there's only actually about 18 channels that broadcast this..and how many years has it taken to get this far! This is all from someone easily confused who once had a go at joining Facebook and the decided to open up a 'MySpace' account and wondered why no one would add me when I asked them if they'd like to come on my face (Tiddly bum tish!)
Tranny flaws: I was mainly swayed by getting this to use fabswingers, Skype For posing on webcam and watching jiggling rampant body parts (I would have said 'bigger in ultra Hd on a big telly...thought I'd better not as that would sound like I was really a shallow fuckwit wouldn't it?) And now we come to most fatal tranny flaw of all where this big piece of smart arse tv is about as much use as a handbrake on a canoe to persons wishing to use t'internet and chat on it.. I'm used to doing all this stuff on a lappy parked about 2ft from my rather lovely mush, and sometimes using a usb camera set at the lowest level so that all my many contradictions are not seen on cam so from 10ft in low light if you squint a bit that even Dita Von Tease would be fooled into considering I'd be hot enough for some sweaty girly/man sex with her. An absolutely huge 'must have' for doing all this stuff Sat comfortably on your sofa with the new expensive fangled fuckin smart arse glitchy non existent ultra high definition giving piece of crap tv (could be me as well) about 12 to 15 ft away...is absolutely perfect 20/20 vision!!!!! Unless you have glasses like a Japanese sniper.. surely, even those of you with good vision must admit from that far away from the telly using a web browser the small stuff is virtually impossible to read! So that in itself is absolutely useless for browser imbedded webchats!
Now dear reading we come around to the most fatal tranny flaw of all... camming on one of these things. You have to buy a cam designed for use on a smart tv normal cams just won't work. Trouble is... the one I got only has 2 broadcast settings.. 'fuck that's clear' definition and secondly.. 'jeez! you can see my giblets'.. not great for the deluded illusionist that is me.... you can see every single flaw in your mush..even the ones you never thought you had. Combine all this with the fact that I have to wear reading glasses if I gotta chat with someone on line, makeup job that coco the clown would be proud of, having to get up of my fat arse to see what the fuck they are saying... with the high def camera on.. everyone rewarded with a squinting badly made up Trannie looking like Olive of on the buses on crack cocaine in the cold light of day peering out of there screens ... nobody's gonna want to have mad sex with me are they????
...and before you clever dickies mention the fact that these smart tv cams have a built in mike, thus eradicating the need to write and get off my fat arse to fiddle about... gorgeous at night from 20ft if you squint a bit I may be... I am not however deluded enough to fool anyone once I open my big fat gob. I was born and bred in the west country with an accent that would grate enough to render a small mammal unconscious...Male West country accents are just not sexy to anyone! Take David Prowse (Darth Vader) fer instance...from Bristol, sacked his voice for James Earl Jones..crap accent...not sexy.. he also starred in a later Hammer Frankenstein and in Clockwork orange.. didn't let the bugger speak in those either! other than Pam ayers, Jethro and the fuckin wurzels... name me one film or tv personality with a west country accent that is damn sexy?
I rest my case. I'll stick to typing on my shit old lappy with my wonky old cam
Mr Kinks (A not so smart TV) xx |
my Smart TV