FabSwingers.com forum: carer

By *indmill and weetabix OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

My wife louise is 33 and has a spinal condition making taking care of our house and 3 children now a virtual impossibly.

I have now decided I need to quit work and care for her but i am 42 and have been in full time employment since I was 16 and I have been brought up that it's my job to work and provide for my family.

I know we will be shunned by a lot of people as benefit scum etc and that kind of scares me but I see no other way forward

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Has your wife been assessed by social work locally to see about support for her?

It may well work better to have home care in than for you to quit work...

I have no clue how it works in your area but up here, people have disability payments called self directed support if they are assessed as having a genuine need where they can spend their budget to best meet their needs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have you sought advice from carers.uk? just saying in case you don't want to leave your job, they might be able to help you.

http://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/work-and-career

even if you definitely do have to leave work to look after your family no-one has the right to slag you off for it. it's your life, your choices and do what you want to do.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

See if you are eligible for PIP. It means jumping through a lot of hoops but could make life much easier.

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By *indmill and weetabix OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

Thanks guys

yeah social services got involved through the school as they were worried because of the amount of morphine louise takes for pain relief.

no practical help available from them.

Pip claim has been approved for day to day living needs.

I know it's going to be tough but just struggling to get my head round it all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A full time carer isn't a benefits scrounger, it's a necessary role.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Assuming that that's your wife in your photos then her spinal condition doesn't seem to prevent her getting into various sexual positions. Having said that, if you do genuinely need to leave work to care for her then that's what the benefits system if for so I wouldn't worry about what people think, surely those that know you will know you have worked all your life and they will know all about her condition.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"A full time carer isn't a benefits scrounger, it's a necessary role."

this..

and one which many would rather not be doing given the level of commitment and sheer hard work..

'clocking on' for some carer's would be a luxury i suspect..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A full time carer isn't a benefits scrounger, it's a necessary role."

This is a really good point.^^

And caring for your family is providing for them with what they need.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A full time carer isn't a benefits scrounger, it's a necessary role.

This is a really good point.^^

And caring for your family is providing for them with what they need."

It also makes economical sense to get a relative to do it, than someone appointed by the council or to put the relative in a care home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should get in touch with carers.uk....and then they will help you to get an appointed care team in place to asses your needs further.....if that doesnt work then your GP is the next point of call.....might be possible so you can still work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should get in touch with carers.uk....and then they will help you to get an appointed care team in place to asses your needs further.....if that doesnt work then your GP is the next point of call.....might be possible so you can still work."

A GP will help with the emotional side of it too. It's difficult seeing a relative struggling and knowing there's very little you can do to comfort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately you will come across people who will judge you. We get it all the time as we are carers for our daughter. Comments like "now she's at school full time, you can get a job" (this from my sister). What she doesn't realise is the sheer amount of appointments we have to go to plus the full time care our daughter needs when she is at home - including during the night.

People like that think it's perfectly ok for you to go out to work, not have any annual leave as you have to use it for appointments and then come home and continue with another full time job.

Hex is now in his 2nd year of college but even then he's had to miss quite a few days because of appointments 50 miles away as I can't drive.

It stings when people judge but I try not to let it get to me now.

Hids

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

"My wife louise is 33 and has a spinal condition making taking care of our house and 3 children now a virtual impossibly.

I have now decided I need to quit work and care for her but i am 42 and have been in full time employment since I was 16 and I have been brought up that it's my job to work and provide for my family.

I know we will be shunned by a lot of people as benefit scum etc and that kind of scares me but I see no other way forward "

Being a full time carer is harder work than 90% of so called jobs.

Don't forget if you do decide to give it a go you will not be scrounging but will be saving the taxpayer a fortune in fees that would otherwise be paid to a number of carers to provide the same round the clock help you will provide by yourself for the pittance they call carers allowance.

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