FabSwingers.com forum: Mistakes women do when having sex

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Came across that topic and found it funny and interesting ... thought it would interesting to share and see what people think about it ??

50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex.

1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.

2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation.

3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up.

4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault.

5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.

6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that's nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If you're not willing to do that, don't expect him to switch for you.

7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the shit that Cosmo forces down our throats, sex is NOT just about us. Get over it.

8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that shit, but I'm pretty sure they need counseling.

9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you. Pay attention to the signals that he's sending you.

10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.

11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He's about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.

12. Not shaving your legs. Im pretty bad at this myself. But if you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.

13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don't want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that shit if you want him to spend any time down there.

14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.

15. Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. He didn't do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he's hormonal, I suggest you get some kneepads.

16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you're having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up drywall".

17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you're sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it's just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn't be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr High.

18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn't be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to come, its his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.

19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.

20. Dissing quickies because it's not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. Theres an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.

21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt.

22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn't always easy. Help a brother out.

23. Undressing in the dark. If youre shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.

24. Refusing to get on top. Theres no reason men should have to do all the work.

25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.

26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you're riding him. It's your body, you're used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier.

27. Being too afraid to guide your partner's hand when hes touching you. Don't like the way he's doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it.

28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn't. Its your choice to stop, but don't look all fucking surprised when he's confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?

29. Refusing to let him take control. So your a feminist. Big fucking deal. Letting him call the shots doesn't make you any less of one.

30. Refusing to take control. Its ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It's not his responsibility to start things all the time.

31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.

32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore them.

33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want to deal with the mess.

34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.

35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.

36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You're not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.

37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters.

38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a 3 some. Its the American dream. (I know my ex is reading this right now, so a quick interjection. One request for a 3 some is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the difference).

39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.

40. Nails. Its one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. Its another when you snag the goods with a claw.

41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will happen. Thats the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and cant jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.

42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't.

43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know its not working, he's not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.

44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little...fishy...perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.

45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved before hand. I don't care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.

46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have 541510630 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They'll wash.

47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all its cracked up to be.

48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it.

49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he's probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy". Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn't, get off another way with him. He's still capable of getting you off. Mumbling "Forget it" and rolling over are not ok.

50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order.

That is all.

Thanks for reading hope you haven't fall asleep lol

Feel free to add anything lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love this!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

far too many rules to be bothered with....i'll just go have a wank instead

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Love this!

came across that one hahahaha

Kurt, 26 turn off for me;

a girl that likes it too rough (when I didn’t want to slap a girl in the face she accused me of being gay)

hahahah

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By *apillonNoirWoman
over a year ago

There...

I think that earns a block...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We agree with every thing except 44 (a little smell is good) but not more than 24 hours or so!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad these were clearly written by a woman.....a guy wouldn't get away with it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After reading this I now know what makes me fucking amazing in bed!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I never understand all these stereotypical misogynistic posts masquerading as jokes. Its usually men who want to spoon, snuggle, discuss where things are going and get all tearful when I start getting dressed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

will have to read this later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

got so bored only got half way through that was one hell of a rant, maybe instead of ranting just shag and sort the rest after

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Love this!

I don't. Sounds like a misogynists bible.

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By *ebedeedoodahMan
over a year ago

Greenford

Think I fell asleep reading it. They all seam to negate basic communication :S from tease to please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never understand all these stereotypical misogynistic posts masquerading as jokes. Its usually men who want to spoon, snuggle, discuss where things are going and get all tearful when I start getting dressed. "

and ask "What you thinking?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fucking hate cuddles on a first meet. (Weird I know!)

Almost as much as panto and I really hate panto.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of it is funny... Most of it is almost a bit 'rapey' (can't think of a better word). No means no with or without a giggle, and women (and men) shouldn't feel like they have to do anything they don't want to for fear of being called frigid or a sissy. I get it's meant to be tongue in cheek, but it doesn't come across that way

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"Think I fell asleep reading it. They all seam to negate basic communication :S from tease to please

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I haven't written this, juts shared it. I don't agree with the half of it ..; nonetheless there are some that I agree with.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

The tone is horrible and it's not funny in the least.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I haven't written this, juts shared it. I don't agree with the half of it ..; nonetheless there are some that I agree with. "

back track....back track!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I haven't written this, juts shared it. I don't agree with the half of it ..; nonetheless there are some that I agree with.

back track....back track!!!

hahah yes definitely ... I'm a coward as well as a mysogynystic man

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

and ask "What you thinking?" "

On the first meet

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I haven't written this, juts shared it. I don't agree with the half of it ..; nonetheless there are some that I agree with.

back track....back track!!!

hahah yes definitely ... I'm a coward as well as a mysogynystic man

At least own your post. You may not have written it but you posted it with approval.

Some recent posts have been very educational with regards to how women are viewed, both on here and in general.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of it is funny... Most of it is almost a bit 'rapey' (can't think of a better word). No means no with or without a giggle, and women (and men) shouldn't feel like they have to do anything they don't want to for fear of being called frigid or a sissy. I get it's meant to be tongue in cheek, but it doesn't come across that way

*fine not funny, like the struggling with a bra bit and accidents happen like falling off the bed.

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

[Removed by poster at 01/01/15 22:23:38]

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

"51st mistake women make when having sex"

---

Involving men?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I haven't written this, juts shared it. I don't agree with the half of it ..; nonetheless there are some that I agree with.

back track....back track!!!

hahah yes definitely ... I'm a coward as well as a mysogynystic man

At least own your post. You may not have written it but you posted it with approval.

Some recent posts have been very educational with regards to how women are viewed, both on here and in general. "

Yes of course I did, why not? because I might hurt people who took it too seriously ???

Did I encourage men to beat up women ???

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I haven't written this, juts shared it. I don't agree with the half of it ..; nonetheless there are some that I agree with.

back track....back track!!!

hahah yes definitely ... I'm a coward as well as a mysogynystic man

At least own your post. You may not have written it but you posted it with approval.

Some recent posts have been very educational with regards to how women are viewed, both on here and in general.

Yes of course I did, why not? because I might hurt people who took it too seriously ???

Did I encourage men to beat up women ??? "

No, but I'm happy you're still finding cliches and 50s attitudes towards women amusing. You go sport

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I haven't written this, juts shared it. I don't agree with the half of it ..; nonetheless there are some that I agree with.

back track....back track!!!

hahah yes definitely ... I'm a coward as well as a mysogynystic man

At least own your post. You may not have written it but you posted it with approval.

Some recent posts have been very educational with regards to how women are viewed, both on here and in general.

Yes of course I did, why not? because I might hurt people who took it too seriously ???

Did I encourage men to beat up women ???

No, but I'm happy you're still finding cliches and 50s attitudes towards women amusing. You go sport

so according to you I should have the same sense of humour as you ? I have to follow you because you seem to think you know what is right or wrong ?? is that it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I haven't written this, juts shared it. I don't agree with the half of it ..; nonetheless there are some that I agree with.

back track....back track!!!

hahah yes definitely ... I'm a coward as well as a mysogynystic man

At least own your post. You may not have written it but you posted it with approval.

Some recent posts have been very educational with regards to how women are viewed, both on here and in general.

Yes of course I did, why not? because I might hurt people who took it too seriously ???

Did I encourage men to beat up women ???

No, but I'm happy you're still finding cliches and 50s attitudes towards women amusing. You go sport

so according to you I should have the same sense of humour as you ? I have to follow you because you seem to think you know what is right or wrong ?? is that it "

Plus I would found cliches towards men amusing as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ffs leave the OP alone....if you bothered to read it...it was written by a WOMAN,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

American drivel..

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Ffs leave the OP alone....if you bothered to read it...it was written by a WOMAN,"

That doesn't make it any less misogynistic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*Poke poke*

No. It's dead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Didn't someone post this about a year ago? It didn't go down well then.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ffs leave the OP alone....if you bothered to read it...it was written by a WOMAN,

That doesn't make it any less misogynistic. "

ELABORATE then ... it's so easy to accuse people like that without any argumentations... without even knowing me !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ffs leave the OP alone....if you bothered to read it...it was written by a WOMAN,

That doesn't make it any less misogynistic.

ELABORATE then ... it's so easy to accuse people like that without any argumentations... without even knowing me !!!

It's inane drivel aimed at fools.

More shite than misogynist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ffs leave the OP alone....if you bothered to read it...it was written by a WOMAN,"

Oooohhhhh!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ffs leave the OP alone....if you bothered to read it...it was written by a WOMAN,

That doesn't make it any less misogynistic.

ELABORATE then ... it's so easy to accuse people like that without any argumentations... without even knowing me !!!

It's inane drivel aimed at fools.

More shite than misogynist."

Thank you !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is what it is. An article written to make people either laugh,roll their eyes or be annoyed. Or even be apathetic. It doesn't apply to me,it actually sounds like advice to teenagers, but I did laugh at some of it

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

[Removed by poster at 01/01/15 22:59:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It does read a bit mysogynistic. But I distinctly remember reading something similarly outdated about men, on these forums not so long ago and I don't recall it engendering quite as much outrage.

Disclaimer: was a bit long, couldn't be arsed to read it all....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I fucking hate cuddles on a first meet. (Weird I know!)

Almost as much as panto and I really hate panto. "

OMG me too - first meet cuddles and panto. But probably the cuddles most. What's that about?! Only time *I* was stiff as a board.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I think I get some things right then

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Well I thought it was funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God lighten up people!! I bet if a woman had posted this it would have got a vastly different response!! But no let's all jump on the "offended" bandwagon!! Get a grip people!

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Asking for a reach around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah so glad im a dominant woman that none of that applies

I do remember the time I kicked the midget though.. Damn that was awkward

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

"Asking for a reach around

Do you mean because it's embarrassing for the woman when the man's arms aren't long enough

Is it because the man will already be downstairs watching Match of the Day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"God lighten up people!! I bet if a woman had posted this it would have got a vastly different response!! But no let's all jump on the "offended" bandwagon!! Get a grip people!"

It's pretty clear that it was written by a woman and I stand by what I said as I'd have said the same regardless of the sex of the poster...we're not all man haters. Some of it is Ok but most of it is phrased almost to say if you want to please him then put up and shut up else you're being a prude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Geeeeez honestly it comes accross to me as tongue in cheek some people are so easily offended previous post was from the wife this one is from me( hubby) we both found it hilarious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geeeeez honestly it comes accross to me as tongue in cheek some people are so easily offended previous post was from the wife this one is from me( hubby) we both found it hilarious"

Let people decide what they deem offensive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"God lighten up people!! I bet if a woman had posted this it would have got a vastly different response!! But no let's all jump on the "offended" bandwagon!! Get a grip people!

I actually thought that most of it was saying if u want good sex u can't expect the man to do everything!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geeeeez honestly it comes accross to me as tongue in cheek some people are so easily offended previous post was from the wife this one is from me( hubby) we both found it hilarious

Let people decide what they deem offensive. "

Peoole in this forum tend to get "offended" when others get "offended"!! I'm often shocked at how close minded and judgemental people can b on here over pretty basic stuff!! Even in the vanilla world most sexually active people would not be offended bu this post!!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Geeeeez honestly it comes accross to me as tongue in cheek some people are so easily offended previous post was from the wife this one is from me( hubby) we both found it hilarious"

good for you, its good you have found someone with the same sense as humour as you.

I found it boring and long, not offensive though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let people decide what they deem offensive. "

Dont jump all over those that arent offended! if offended ignore if not then enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let people decide what they deem offensive.

Dont jump all over those that arent offended! if offended ignore if not then enjoy "

Why be offended about people being offended?

I found it bland and drivel like.

Inane fodder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got tired reading all that!!

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By *SweetVioletxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

tldr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let people decide what they deem offensive.

Dont jump all over those that arent offended! if offended ignore if not then enjoy

Why be offended about people being offended?

I found it bland and drivel like.

Inane fodder. "

we are not offended just mildly amused!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let people decide what they deem offensive.

Dont jump all over those that arent offended! if offended ignore if not then enjoy

Why be offended about people being offended?

I found it bland and drivel like.

Inane fodder.

we are not offended just mildly amused!"

Mildly amused then.....

Good on ya.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That was long readin that, I disagree aswell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let people decide what they deem offensive.

Dont jump all over those that arent offended! if offended ignore if not then enjoy

Why be offended about people being offended?

I found it bland and drivel like.

Inane fodder.

we are not offended just mildly amused!

Mildly amused then.....

Good on ya.

thanks for ur approval of our feelings!! We will sure sleep better now!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont understand why people are taking the original post so serious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let people decide what they deem offensive.

Dont jump all over those that arent offended! if offended ignore if not then enjoy

Why be offended about people being offended?

I found it bland and drivel like.

Inane fodder.

we are not offended just mildly amused!

Mildly amused then.....

Good on ya.

thanks for ur approval of our feelings!! We will sure sleep better now!

Sweet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let people decide what they deem offensive.

Dont jump all over those that arent offended! if offended ignore if not then enjoy

Why be offended about people being offended?

I found it bland and drivel like.

Inane fodder.

we are not offended just mildly amused!

Mildly amused then.....

Good on ya.

thanks for ur approval of our feelings!! We will sure sleep better now!

Sweet!"

Oh someone likes to have the last word!!

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

Let people decide what they deem offensive.

Dont jump all over those that arent offended! if offended ignore if not then enjoy

Why be offended about people being offended?

I found it bland and drivel like.

Inane fodder.

we are not offended just mildly amused!

Mildly amused then.....

Good on ya.

thanks for ur approval of our feelings!! We will sure sleep better now!

Sweet!

Oh someone likes to have the last word!!

Well you can't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"God lighten up people!! I bet if a woman had posted this it would have got a vastly different response!! But no let's all jump on the "offended" bandwagon!! Get a grip people!

I actually thought that most of it was saying if u want good sex u can't expect the man to do everything!! "

Which in my experience they don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"God lighten up people!! I bet if a woman had posted this it would have got a vastly different response!! But no let's all jump on the "offended" bandwagon!! Get a grip people!

I actually thought that most of it was saying if u want good sex u can't expect the man to do everything!! "

I get that was the intention, but words like prude and sissy bitch are childish and used by many to try to bully someone into acts they don't want to do. And excusing an 'accidental slip' because the word no wasn't used forcefully enough to me is wrong. There was also a comment about readjusting your thinking if you didn't enjoy something... If something isn't enjoyable to either party then I'm not sure how it equals good sex. I get the joke that's trying to be made, but the delivery, to me, isn't humourous.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"God lighten up people!! I bet if a woman had posted this it would have got a vastly different response!! But no let's all jump on the "offended" bandwagon!! Get a grip people!

Precisely. But sexist joking seems to be ok on such an 'enlightened' site. And if you are offended then have many saying you have no right to be and you don't have a sense of humour.

Well, my sense of humour is perfectly fine.

I am offended as much by this as racist or homophobic jokes. It is irrelevant who wrote it.

If I'm offended then I'm offended. I need no one's permission or otherwise whether I am offended or not. I've not told anyone who found it funny that they shouldn't do. And I would appreciate it if people didn't tell me not to be offended - or have the slur 'some people like to be offended for the sake of it' bandied around. No one has the right to tell me how to feel.

I stand by what I originally said.

That is all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"God lighten up people!! I bet if a woman had posted this it would have got a vastly different response!! But no let's all jump on the "offended" bandwagon!! Get a grip people!

Precisely. But sexist joking seems to be ok on such an 'enlightened' site. And if you are offended then have many saying you have no right to be and you don't have a sense of humour.

Well, my sense of humour is perfectly fine.

I am offended as much by this as racist or homophobic jokes. It is irrelevant who wrote it.

I stand by what I originally said.

That is all."

just a little heads up for u then, I wouldn't recommend u ever watching any thing done by

Frankie Boyle!!

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"God lighten up people!! I bet if a woman had posted this it would have got a vastly different response!! But no let's all jump on the "offended" bandwagon!! Get a grip people!

Precisely. But sexist joking seems to be ok on such an 'enlightened' site. And if you are offended then have many saying you have no right to be and you don't have a sense of humour.

Well, my sense of humour is perfectly fine.

I am offended as much by this as racist or homophobic jokes. It is irrelevant who wrote it.

I stand by what I originally said.

That is all.

just a little heads up for u then, I wouldn't recommend u ever watching any thing done by

Frankie Boyle!!"

Right. Ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I though it was funny and it made me smile.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

This cut 'n' pasted tripe again? It wasn't funny the last time it was posted, or the time before that. Still not funny.

Some of the underlying comments might be amusing if not for the deeply unpleasant language and tone.

Sex is supposed to be a mutually enjoyable thing, not about one party putting up with anything to please the other. It should involve respect for one another (limits, feelings, wellbeing etc); something the tone of this "joke" completely lacks.

We're way beyond women being expected to lay back and think of England or "just shut up and do it, bitch" in order to please a man.

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By *ids_NaughtyCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

Just an interesting observation...majority of those who appear to have taken this somewhat long joke post, as a declaration of war on women's equality, are SINGLE females.

Some of the comments suggesting what this post is, are simply redicoulous and over the top. It's actually that kind of behaviour, not these jokes, that are the driver for sexism, racism, homophobia.

It was long, bits were simply not funny, but in essence it was actually trying to suggest, some equality in bed, but at the same time also pointing out something all this PC rubbish often misses, biologically, physically, and even brain use, is scientifically different in men and women.

Or maybe the offence was taken because they read to much about themselves.

Sits back and opens popcorn....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol ^^^^^ puts on tin hat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok am I literally the only woman who read that and immediately though 'I need to jump on a cock and ride it'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Made me giggle

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Just an interesting observation...majority of those who appear to have taken this somewhat long joke post, as a declaration of war on women's equality, are SINGLE females.

Some of the comments suggesting what this post is, are simply redicoulous and over the top. It's actually that kind of behaviour, not these jokes, that are the driver for sexism, racism, homophobia.

Or maybe the offence was taken because they read to much about themselves.

Sits back and opens popcorn...."

Equality?

I think you and I must have read different posts.

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By *ids_NaughtyCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

"Just an interesting observation...majority of those who appear to have taken this somewhat long joke post, as a declaration of war on women's equality, are SINGLE females.

Some of the comments suggesting what this post is, are simply redicoulous and over the top. It's actually that kind of behaviour, not these jokes, that are the driver for sexism, racism, homophobia.

Or maybe the offence was taken because they read to much about themselves.

Sits back and opens popcorn....

Equality?

I think you and I must have read different posts."

Or you've just proven the point.

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

Will read when I'm not so tired and have some time....

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

Why is it, that people on here have to nit pick at other peoples opinions? Has nobody got anything better to do???

If somebody likes something that you dislike, or visa versa, live and let live.

These forums are getting worse each day and why I tend to lurk more than post, because you can't say anything without some sad fecker wanting to jump down your throat.

Grow up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

^^^^^^^

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Just an interesting observation...majority of those who appear to have taken this somewhat long joke post, as a declaration of war on women's equality, are SINGLE females.

Some of the comments suggesting what this post is, are simply redicoulous and over the top. It's actually that kind of behaviour, not these jokes, that are the driver for sexism, racism, homophobia.

Or maybe the offence was taken because they read to much about themselves.

Sits back and opens popcorn....

Equality?

I think you and I must have read different posts.

Or you've just proven the point."

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By *asmanian TigerMan
over a year ago

lala land

"Lol ^^^^^ puts on tin hat"

I will take my hat off for not backing down and brown nosing.

And for those who took offence grow up it was funny. Why is it okay"to bash man on here but when a single word is said and or mentioned about women you all jump in and start attacking us!! Happy new year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks OP for posting something different, interesting in parts and funny in parts.

I, too, agree with some bits. Like number one! Lol.

Sorry, OP. As you now know, the Forums can be a bullying, cliquey place.

I suspect, like me, you will never get admittance to the clique but hope, like me, you will continue to post.

Sadly, if it had been a similar thread pointing out men's inadequacies (1. Don't wipe your cock on the carpet; 2. Don't fall asleep after Cumming etc etc), you would have been swamped with praise. It is one of the double standards on here. Watch, read and learn. There are so many.

Finally, welcome to Fab!

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By *asmanian TigerMan
over a year ago

lala land

"Thanks OP for posting something different, interesting in parts and funny in parts.

I, too, agree with some bits. Like number one! Lol.

Sorry, OP. As you now know, the Forums can be a bullying, cliquey place.

I suspect, like me, you will never get admittance to the clique but hope, like me, you will continue to post.

Finally, welcome to Fab!

And don't brown nose be your self stand for who you are good luck op

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Single woman here. Didn't offend me at all. Some bits made me chuckle. It's just one of a billion 'lists' of do's, dont's, etc that turn up on the internet all the time. I've seen one similar about men, that had some funny bits too x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks OP for posting something different, interesting in parts and funny in parts.

I, too, agree with some bits. Like number one! Lol.

Sorry, OP. As you now know, the Forums can be a bullying, cliquey place.

I suspect, like me, you will never get admittance to the clique but hope, like me, you will continue to post.

Finally, welcome to Fab!

I disagree.

This is not about a clique.

People found it offensive.

So what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awwwwww bless all the delicate souls on a swinging site, there is obviously no room for humour where having sex with each other is concerned

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Awwwwww bless all the delicate souls on a swinging site, there is obviously no room for humour where having sex with each other is concerned

Gimp

I think there's plenty of room.

Point me in the direction of said humour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yay! Misogynistic humour! Fabulous!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Just an interesting observation...majority of those who appear to have taken this somewhat long joke post, as a declaration of war on women's equality, are SINGLE females.

Some of the comments suggesting what this post is, are simply redicoulous and over the top. It's actually that kind of behaviour, not these jokes, that are the driver for sexism, racism, homophobia.

Or maybe the offence was taken because they read to much about themselves.

Sits back and opens popcorn....

Equality?

I think you and I must have read different posts."

Obviously us single women are humourless as we dont have a strong male to tell us what to do. Time to stop complaining about ridiculous attitudes and get back to the kitchen I suppose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously us single women are humourless as we dont have a strong male to tell us what to do. Time to stop complaining about ridiculous attitudes and get back to the kitchen I suppose."

Just shush. You're clearly not getting enough sex.

Or something.

Although I get banged senseless on average at least twice a day and I still feel that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""51st mistake women make when having sex"

---

Involving men?"

v hahabha!!

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

1. I am grown up.

2. I have a perfectly good sense of humour thank you.

3. I am not a man hater. I just don't like misogyny and I have no concerns stating so.

4. I am in no clique. I speak only for myself.

5. I am bullying no one. I am simply posting my opinion.

6. I have been rude and abusive to no one.

7. I am entitled to feel how I like about the op and post it on here the same as anyone else.

8. Personal comments and attacks could be seen as bullying. I've not done that.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Awwwwww bless all the delicate souls on a swinging site, there is obviously no room for humour where having sex with each other is concerned

Gimp

As already said above, there's plenty of room for humour. Please direct me to this humour because the OP certainly ain't it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry, OP. As you now know, the Forums can be a bullying, cliquey place.

ohhhhh u said the 'C' word!! U should b burnt at the stake!!! Lol

ever notice that the people that deny it's existence are in it or are trying to get in it??

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

The usual thing happened and the usual things were said by the usual people.

Happy New Year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The usual thing happened and the usual things were said by the usual people.

Happy New Year"

You can do better than that.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"The usual thing happened and the usual things were said by the usual people.

Happy New Year

You can do better than that.

Im not naming them as its against the rules but you can almost predict it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The usual thing happened and the usual things were said by the usual people.

Happy New Year

You can do better than that.

Im not naming them as its against the rules but you can almost predict it."

Rules schmules....

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Loved the original post,I don't normally read to the end of these things,but that was entertaining...

A lot of the drivel written afterwards bored the crap out of me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Loved the original post,I don't normally read to the end of these things,but that was entertaining...

A lot of the drivel written afterwards bored the crap out of me..."

That's your opinion.

I saw the post as drivel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Awwwwww bless all the delicate souls on a swinging site, there is obviously no room for humour where having sex with each other is concerned

Gimp

As already said above, there's plenty of room for humour. Please direct me to this humour because the OP certainly ain't it."

I cant remember the right name for it but humour is different to us all, I find the " mysogonist" posts bloody hilarious because the list was originally written by a Woman

Tommy Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Awwwwww bless all the delicate souls on a swinging site, there is obviously no room for humour where having sex with each other is concerned

Gimp

As already said above, there's plenty of room for humour. Please direct me to this humour because the OP certainly ain't it.

I cant remember the right name for it but humour is different to us all, I find the " mysogonist" posts bloody hilarious because the list was originally written by a Woman

Tommy Gimp

And women NEVER attack one another?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry, OP. As you now know, the Forums can be a bullying, cliquey place.

ohhhhh u said the 'C' word!! U should b burnt at the stake!!! Lol

ever notice that the people that deny it's existence are in it or are trying to get in it??

Yes

often "I've never noticed any clique". Often used by those at the centre of it!

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Loved the original post,I don't normally read to the end of these things,but that was entertaining...

A lot of the drivel written afterwards bored the crap out of me...

That's your opinion.

I saw the post as drivel.

Well obviously it's my opinion!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Awwwwww bless all the delicate souls on a swinging site, there is obviously no room for humour where having sex with each other is concerned

Gimp

As already said above, there's plenty of room for humour. Please direct me to this humour because the OP certainly ain't it.

I cant remember the right name for it but humour is different to us all, I find the " mysogonist" posts bloody hilarious because the list was originally written by a Woman

Tommy Gimp

And women NEVER attack one another? "

Luckily for me they do.

I just LOVE a good bitch fight

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Loved the original post,I don't normally read to the end of these things,but that was entertaining...

A lot of the drivel written afterwards bored the crap out of me...

That's your opinion.

I saw the post as drivel.

Well obviously it's my opinion!!!

Yeeeeeessss..yes it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is hilarious!

Spot on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that earns a block..."

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

"Awwwwww bless all the delicate souls on a swinging site, there is obviously no room for humour where having sex with each other is concerned

Gimp

I think there's plenty of room.

Point me in the direction of said humour.

I'm over here. !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Awwwwww bless all the delicate souls on a swinging site, there is obviously no room for humour where having sex with each other is concerned

Gimp

I think there's plenty of room.

Point me in the direction of said humour.

I'm over here. !!"

Alright, alright!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

did anyone actualy read all that.zzzzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"did anyone actualy read all that.zzzzz"

Yes and I'll never get that time back.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

I personally found the post funny in parts but not so funny that I would have re-posted it if I'd come across it somewhere else.

But what I really don't understand is why the angst?

Yes, it's misogynistic in places but it's written originally by a woman. Some of Victoria Wood's best sketches would be misogynistic if written by or performed by a guy. She was clearly writing this very much tongue in cheek. And it does make a difference who wrote it. I've heard some of the most racist jokes in the world at black comedy clubs I've been to. No one was offended but If I or another white guy had said them they would be totally un acceptable.

I actually read this as a woman's impression of what a misogynistic man would say and think. In that context it's quite funny in places IMHO

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

Gran Canaria

Offence as always is in the eye of the beholder.

I've found over the years there is an inverse relationship between toleration and offense.

I do think some people would benefit from being a little more tolerance.

I remember going to watch a comedian who told more and more offensive jokes until the audience audibly murmured. Then he said right so that's your level.

It just read like harmless big mouthing. I dnot think it's intended as the unvarnished truth about sex. I'm sure the will be a femiginist counter triad written by a man on the internet somewhere that I will find equally funny.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

"If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt."

Wow. Don't be surprised if a guy ignores that you haven't given consent for something and sexually assaults you?

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

"I find the " mysogonist" posts bloody hilarious because the list was originally written by a Woman

Women can be sexist towards other women, and something being written by a woman doesn't magically make it ok in that regard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The 'cuddling' stuff is interesting - a mate of mine always says, "you don't cuddle a turd just after you've done it, so why cuddle a woman?" -

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"I find the " mysogonist" posts bloody hilarious because the list was originally written by a Woman

Women can be sexist towards other women, and something being written by a woman doesn't magically make it ok in that regard."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt.

Wow. Don't be surprised if a guy ignores that you haven't given consent for something and sexually assaults you?

That's funny... Haven't you seen the other posts that make that very clear?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha somebody needs to pull their head back from their own ass!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Finally read some of it, seems to off been written in the dark ages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha somebody needs to pull their head back from their own ass!!"

That's sex act I've not heard of.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

Haha somebody needs to pull their head back from their own ass!!

That's sex act I've not heard of."

There's always something new to learn!!

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By *andS66Couple
over a year ago

Derby

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clearly written by a bitter, subservient woman with self esteem issues. Not offensive, just sad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Clearly written by a bitter, subservient woman with self esteem issues. Not offensive, just sad."

I get the feeling it was written for some kind of lad mag by a woman who wanted to be seen as up for anything by the men she was writing for... Kind of an 'I'm better than all these other women you've had sex with' thing. I agree not so much offensive, but a very juvenile school yard kind of attitude. The 'tips' given could have been phrased much better and more neutrally if it was genuinely looking to advise on how both parties contribute to good sex.

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