FabSwingers.com forum: Stephen Hawking had a blind date with a girl...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He returned home, that evening, with a broken wrist , a twisted ankle and a head injury. . . . All because the bitch stood him up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's bad! But good! hehehe

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"He returned home, that evening, with a broken wrist , a twisted ankle and a head injury. . . . All because the bitch stood him up.

Excellent. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As much as I try and I have read it and read it - I don't seem to be able to see the joke Mally

Could you explain it please ?

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

[Removed by poster at 23/08/10 15:26:18]

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"As much as I try and I have read it and read it - I don't seem to be able to see the joke Mally

Could you explain it please ?"

Now THIS could be funny!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As much as I try and I have read it and read it - I don't seem to be able to see the joke Mally

Could you explain it please ?"

OK, she lifted him up from his chair and obviously dropped him, hence the injuries. kinda ruins the joke when you have to explain it but there ya go.

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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

Love it

Carol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As much as I try and I have read it and read it - I don't seem to be able to see the joke Mally

Could you explain it please ?

OK, she lifted him up from his chair and obviously dropped him, hence the injuries. kinda ruins the joke when you have to explain it but there ya go.

How could she lift him from his chair if she stood him up ?

Thanks for that Mally x but im still not quite there ??

What bit am I missing ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How could she lift him from his chair if she stood him up ?

Thanks for that Mally x but im still not quite there ??

What bit am I missing ? "

ok, she lifted him from the chair thinking he could stand up? I'm not very good at explaining the joke just posting it

anyone else wanna help out here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How could she lift him from his chair if she stood him up ?

Thanks for that Mally x but im still not quite there ??

What bit am I missing ?

ok, she lifted him from the chair thinking he could stand up? I'm not very good at explaining the joke just posting it

anyone else wanna help out here

I got that bit thanks Mal xxxx

She tried to take him out of his chair .... how did she do that if she wasn't there ?

Isn't he a cripple ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Granny + obtuse? Does not compute.

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

"He returned home, that evening, with a broken wrist , a twisted ankle and a head injury. . . . All because the bitch stood him up.

not sure why but as soon as I saw the thread title I thought I bet it is by mally...lol

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By *ustamysteryWoman
over a year ago

south cumbria

i get the joke but watching someone die with mnd aint funny i lived with it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I got that bit thanks Mal xxxx

She tried to take him out of his chair .... how did she do that if she wasn't there ?

Isn't he a cripple ? "

yes he is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He returned home, that evening, with a broken wrist , a twisted ankle and a head injury. . . . All because the bitch stood him up.

not sure why but as soon as I saw the thread title I thought I bet it is by mally...lol"

now why would you think that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got that bit thanks Mal xxxx

She tried to take him out of his chair .... how did she do that if she wasn't there ?

Isn't he a cripple ?

yes he is."

Well he is now. What the hell did she do that for ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Granny + obtuse? Does not compute.

Shhhhhhhhhhhh Laine

Mally is being a shaweeetie Pie ... exshplainin it to me ..... x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well he is now. What the hell did she do that for ??"

to be honest, I have no idea, who knows why people do such things, the worlds a crazy place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well he is now. What the hell did she do that for ??

to be honest, I have no idea, who knows why people do such things, the worlds a crazy place."

It is Mally. It is.

So. She dropped him and he was injured.

How did he get home Mal ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How did he get home Mal ?"

taxi of course

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

"Well he is now. What the hell did she do that for ??

to be honest, I have no idea, who knows why people do such things, the worlds a crazy place.

It is Mally. It is.

So. She dropped him and he was injured.

How did he get home Mal ?"

lol....

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

How did he get home Mal ?"

Home. Sounds as though he didn't get to first base.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How did he get home Mal ?

Home. Sounds as though he didn't get to first base."

haha nice one mushy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!"

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Granny ruined your joke, but I found it funny Mally!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

SH?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Granny ruined your joke, but I found it funny Mally!

Oh I aint fussed about it, got a bit of banter going at least.

You well babe?

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"SH?"

Yeah, Mally, SH, the SH of Stephen Hawking in the OP?

This gets lollier by the minute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Granny ruined your joke, but I found it funny Mally!

Oh blame me Sassy .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?"

She was blind ! Mally said so.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"SH?

Yeah, Mally, SH, the SH of Stephen Hawking in the OP?

This gets lollier by the minute."

oh see what ya mean, thats your fault being lazy and not putting the full name in.

oh, and yes, hilarious mate

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?

She was blind ! Mally said so."

Where did he do that?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"She was blind ! Mally said so."

Blind Date pet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?

She was blind ! Mally said so.

Where did he do that?

At the top of the page. It's like a heading..... it's in blue.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?

She was blind ! Mally said so.

Where did he do that?

At the top of the page. It's like a heading..... it's in blue."

Like this "Stephen Hawking had a blind date with a girl..."

but in blue?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?

She was blind ! Mally said so.

Where did he do that?

At the top of the page. It's like a heading..... it's in blue.

Like this "Stephen Hawking had a blind date with a girl..."

but in blue?

Yes. Like that "Stephen Hawking had a blind ...... eh ? Hold on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?

She was blind ! Mally said so.

Where did he do that?

At the top of the page. It's like a heading..... it's in blue.

Like this "Stephen Hawking had a blind date with a girl..."

but in blue?

Yes. Like that "Stephen Hawking had a blind ...... eh ? Hold on"

I am undone!

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?

She was blind ! Mally said so.

Where did he do that?

At the top of the page. It's like a heading..... it's in blue.

Like this "Stephen Hawking had a blind date with a girl..."

but in blue?

Yes. Like that "Stephen Hawking had a blind ...... eh ? Hold on"

i am Granny ( Nana )..... for dear life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Granny ruined your joke, but I found it funny Mally!

Oh I aint fussed about it, got a bit of banter going at least.

You well babe?"

Babe?!! Noooooooooooooo!!!

Good thing I like you Mally!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes. Like that "Stephen Hawking had a blind ...... eh ? Hold on"

oh you crack me up sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mally - Did you just call me BABES in pm?? eh ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mally - Did you just call me BABES in pm?? eh ?"

Did you just ask if I was blonde ? eh ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has made my day!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"SH?

Yeah, Mally, SH, the SH of Stephen Hawking in the OP?

This gets lollier by the minute."

You lot are hilarious!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This has made my day!"

oh i'm getting it all horribly wrong today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Granny ruined your joke, but I found it funny Mally!

Oh blame me Sassy .....

Oh...thought I just did!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She was blind ! Mally said so.

Blind Date pet."

Pet !

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

This has made my day!

oh i'm getting it all horribly wrong today

I dunno, it's been a joke of excellent value, fastest 50 for a long time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has made my day!

oh i'm getting it all horribly wrong today

Noooooooo! Not horrible wrong at all..... It's like a verbal version of slapstick

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" I dunno, it's been a joke of excellent value, fastest 50 for a long time."

i'd agree there, never seen it shoot up so quick, oer mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How tight is that chain feeling Mally ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How tight is that chain feeling Mally ??"

are we talking about the one on my bike?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How tight is that chain feeling Mally ??

are we talking about the one on my bike?"

I've never met the woman but if you want to share ???

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How tight is that chain feeling Mally ??

are we talking about the one on my bike?

I've never met the woman but if you want to share ???"

pmsl nice one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?"

When asked to explain SH's injuries she could have said.

I swung him above my head as I wanted a look around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?

When asked to explain SH's injuries she could have said.

I swung him above my head as I wanted a look around

That's a blind dog .....Doh !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I swung him above my head as I wanted a look around

it was going so well too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It wasn't a blind dog.....it was a blind date...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

who brought the dog? oh I'm confused now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?

When asked to explain SH's injuries she could have said.

I swung him above my head as I wanted a look around

That's a blind dog .....Doh !"

What's a blind dog ??

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?

When asked to explain SH's injuries she could have said.

I swung him above my head as I wanted a look around

That's a blind dog .....Doh !

What's a blind dog ??"

A Pet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?

When asked to explain SH's injuries she could have said.

I swung him above my head as I wanted a look around

That's a blind dog .....Doh !

What's a blind dog ??

A Pet."

Hope its not deaf too

Does it play a mean game of pinball

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?

When asked to explain SH's injuries she could have said.

I swung him above my head as I wanted a look around

That's a blind dog .....Doh !

What's a blind dog ??

A Pet.

Hope its not deaf too

Does it play a mean game of pinball

Who?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?

When asked to explain SH's injuries she could have said.

I swung him above my head as I wanted a look around

That's a blind dog .....Doh !

What's a blind dog ??

A Pet.

Hope its not deaf too

Does it play a mean game of pinball

Who?"

tommy of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?

When asked to explain SH's injuries she could have said.

I swung him above my head as I wanted a look around

That's a blind dog .....Doh !

What's a blind dog ??

A Pet.

Hope its not deaf too

Does it play a mean game of pinball

Who?

tommy of course

He got the group right without even knowing the dog's name. I think he's wonderful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he get home Mal ?

taxi of course

I bet the taxi driver thought he was a Potato Martian.

T-a-x-i f-o-r Horrrrrr-kins O-n the C-o-r-n-e-r ov the road-side!

Mally, just wondering if it would have been funnier if SH had had a date with a blind girl? She could be forgiven then for dropping him?

When asked to explain SH's injuries she could have said.

I swung him above my head as I wanted a look around

That's a blind dog .....Doh !

What's a blind dog ??

A Pet.

Hope its not deaf too

Does it play a mean game of pinball

Who?

tommy of course

He got the group right without even knowing the dog's name. I think he's wonderful "

If you give him a biscuit he might let you lick his bollocks

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

Come on then, let's be having your Pakistan Flood jokes and perhaps some hilarious Madelaine Mcann ones to go with this side-splitting Motor Neurone Disease epic.

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By *ustamysteryWoman
over a year ago

south cumbria

well unless you know what motor neurone is. Stephen Hawkins on a blind date being stood up is a joke isnt it.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"well unless you know what motor neurone is. Stephen Hawkins on a blind date being stood up is a joke isnt it.

Some saw the joke, plus the way the thread developed. It was one of them "You had to be there" moments.

Even if you knew what mnd is, are such jokes barred? Sin and first stone and all that.

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

"well unless you know what motor neurone is. Stephen Hawkins on a blind date being stood up is a joke isnt it.

So go on then, post your favourite jokes about, oooh, let's think, kiddies being fucked by priests, cot deaths, cripples, whatever. Don't forget the ones about blacks being lynched by the KKK, and Asians with vaginal hygeine issues. None of those subjects affect me personally, and they are only a joke after all, so I'll probably find them fucking hilarious.

Perhaps if the OP's joke had been the slightest bit funny (and not as old as Methuselah), I'd be having a little less of a sense of humour failure.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Come on then, let's be having your Pakistan Flood jokes and perhaps some hilarious Madelaine Mcann ones to go with this side-splitting Motor Neurone Disease epic."

Bars in Pakistan are reporting an upturn in trade as locals have started drifting in again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was going to, but noooooo, I`ve got a concience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was going to, but noooooo, I`ve got a concience.

Go on, be a devil lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Naw its not PC,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Naw its not PC,

Uh huh. persactly!

p.s. I won't tell anyone if you do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I`m shy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"SH?

Yeah, Mally, SH, the SH of Stephen Hawking in the OP?

This gets lollier by the minute."

ooooh can i lick it? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I`m shy

If I was a gambling man I'd lay a month's wages that you aren't shy at all. Judging by those photos on your profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Naw... you loose, thats my boyfriend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Naw... you loose, thats my boyfriend.

Well he's got a cute arse and looks good in a basque!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He got on the bed when the water started rising.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never been on a water bed. It must bugger up one's rhythym no end!

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

Ask Abdul, his floated off towards Islamabad.

Jeeez, I'm at it now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aye, when its floatin down the river.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BE NICE!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can tell who the hookers are in Pakistan as they're the ones in fish nets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thinks Granny needs a spankin xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thinks Granny needs a spankin xx

Me !! You mean you WANT to.

I never started the thread OR laughed at the joke you slippery soap choker!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I thinks Granny needs a spankin xx

Me !! You mean you WANT to.

I never started the thread OR laughed at the joke you slippery soap choker!"

i bet there was slight chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thinks Granny needs a spankin xx

Me !! You mean you WANT to.

I never started the thread OR laughed at the joke you slippery soap choker!

i bet there was slight chuckle

I did chuckle Mally

Those that posted on this thread were chuckling at events unfolding rather than the joke

It is probably difficult for the self righteous to see that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It is probably difficult for the self righteous to see that.

Me? Self Righteous? how very dare you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is probably difficult for the self righteous to see that.

Me? Self Righteous? how very dare you

Not YOU Mally .....ffs ..the wind only whistles to the middle of your skull - not all the way through xx babe xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not YOU Mally .....ffs ..the wind only whistles to the middle of your skull - not all the way through xx babe xx "

Sorry, I'm blond

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha!

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

Ah, bless him, he can't help it, he was born that way, you shouldn't mock him just because he thinks irony is an alloy (or that an alloy is another word for wheel, come to that).

Anyway, I think she means me Mally, though I'm still waiting for some cot death hilarity to prove I'm not self-righteous, I can piss myself at someone else's painful misfortune with the best of them.....

Anyone?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

obviously we all don't share the same sense of humor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ah, bless him, he can't help it, he was born that way, you shouldn't mock him just because he thinks irony is an alloy (or that an alloy is another word for wheel, come to that).

Anyone?"

Kin ell, we now have the cast from 'Little Red Riding Hood'

Are ya gonna eat Granny

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

nothing to add, just wanted to be the 100th poster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"nothing to add, just wanted to be the 100th poster

Thought you were running in with ya chopper.

I hear you have a bike or two

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"nothing to add, just wanted to be the 100th poster

Thought you were running in with ya chopper.

I hear you have a bike or two

one bike, only have the one arse ya see

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stephen Hawkins must be one mentally tough man. For a guy who can't go anywhere without a lot of help from a lot of people he sure did pick one helluva big sphere of study to specialise in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And we always thought he was intelligent....still sounds like a "speak and spell" to us . Then again , he does like watching his F1....top left corner of the keyboard

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