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Do you love me or love the idea of me ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Came across this quote while reading a book and thought it would be interesting to see what people think about it ?

Do you love me or love the idea of me?

It is clearly underlying that love doesn't really exist to some extent, so folks what do you really think about it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course love exists but it's nothing like true love and true love defies explanation....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people are in love with the idea of being in love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Of course love exists but it's nothing like true love and true love defies explanation.... "
i wouldn't know ! Iv not found it yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have loved the idea of someone more than the actual person himself...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

love is fickle and never lasts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been in love but it's very easy to fall out of love. It's heartbreaking to pine for love, even to want to fall in love with someone again that you've fallen out of love with.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Real true love is the most wonderful thing ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"love is fickle and never lasts"

Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"love is fickle and never lasts

Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here"

Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Don't you think LOVE is a "concept" invented by hollywood ?

Love varies depends on people, yet movies pushes us to have a single concept of it...

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"love is fickle and never lasts

Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here

Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? "
so what's your definition of love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't you think LOVE is a "concept" invented by hollywood ?

Love varies depends on people, yet movies pushes us to have a single concept of it... "

I think Love was around long before Hollywood was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here"

So do you think that you have to work on being in love? That you've worked hard to stay in love? I know you have to work for relationships to work but surely if you fall out of love, thats it then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't you think LOVE is a "concept" invented by hollywood ?

Love varies depends on people, yet movies pushes us to have a single concept of it...

I think Love was around long before Hollywood was "

Love is just an individual thing that if lucky, is shared between two

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

There is a huge difference with loving someone and being in love with someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love is everlasting and that's why its true love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You defo have to work in a relationship goes without saying and yes there are times when you don't agree with each other but it's about give and take . Maybe we have been lucky to find what we have got . We are best friends , soul mates , lovers , mum and dad and grandparents. There is nothing we like more then our time together as husband and wife . God that sounds so corny

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"love is fickle and never lasts

Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here

Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love"

Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it last ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"love is fickle and never lasts

Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here

Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love

Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it last ? "

I'll let you know at the end of eternity,,

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"love is fickle and never lasts

Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here

Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love

Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it last ? "
I didn't know what I was looking for until I found it at 41. I used to laugh at the word soulmate but now I've found mine. Were a very lovey dove couple in general but we went to Ireland in the beginning of September and since then we have been like two pathetic teenagers. Does it last forever? I will only be able to answer that if were still together when one of us dies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"love is fickle and never lasts

Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here

Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love

Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it last ? "

I think love only lasts if you have the attention span for it. I think some of us are incapable of long lasting love x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have different _iews on it as we are all different that's the beauty of the forum . We also all have different ideas of true love

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"love is fickle and never lasts

Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here

Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love

Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it last ? I didn't know what I was looking for until I found it at 41. I used to laugh at the word soulmate but now I've found mine. Were a very lovey dove couple in general but we went to Ireland in the beginning of September and since then we have been like two pathetic teenagers. Does it last forever? I will only be able to answer that if were still together when one of us dies

"

Wish you all the best, keep me posted about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"love is fickle and never lasts

Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here

Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love

Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it

last ? "

you only have to look at the millions and millions of people on the countless dating sites all over the net to say it doesn't last..most of them are divorced or seperated

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"love is fickle and never lasts

Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here

Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love

Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it last ?

I think love only lasts if you have the attention span for it. I think some of us are incapable of long lasting love x"

Yes that's true as well, you have to reinvent yourself everyday in order to keep the flame burning I think... if it is getting a boring relationship, love will go away...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"love is fickle and never lasts

Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here

Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love

Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it

last ?

you only have to look at the millions and millions of people on the countless dating sites all over the net to say it doesn't last..most of them are divorced or seperated"

Maybe they didn't find the ones, or maybe internet pushes to think that the grass is better somewhere else...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"love is fickle and never lasts

Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here

Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love

Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it last ? I didn't know what I was looking for until I found it at 41. I used to laugh at the word soulmate but now I've found mine. Were a very lovey dove couple in general but we went to Ireland in the beginning of September and since then we have been like two pathetic teenagers. Does it last forever? I will only be able to answer that if were still together when one of us dies

Wish you all the best, keep me posted about it "

If she dies first she won't be able to tell you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some people are in love with the idea of being in love."

This.

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


"Came across this quote while reading a book and thought it would be interesting to see what people think about it ?

Do you love me or love the idea of me?

It is clearly underlying that love doesn't really exist to some extent, so folks what do you really think about it?

"

Some scientists have postulated the theory that love is an evolutionary response which binds human animals together.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I definately love me

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

together 34 years here and I would say that we "love" each other more now than at the start when it was what I think of a romantic love.

The people who love the idea of someone have missed the point of love. In my opinion love is accepting a person as they are not how you want them to be, allowing that person to be themselves (that's why some swinging couples are so successful and some aren't) and knowing that someone's got your back and you've got theirs.

Everyone has their own idea of what love is but that's mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Of course love exists but it's nothing like true love and true love defies explanation.... "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"together 34 years here and I would say that we "love" each other more now than at the start when it was what I think of a romantic love.

The people who love the idea of someone have missed the point of love. In my opinion love is accepting a person as they are not how you want them to be, allowing that person to be themselves (that's why some swinging couples are so successful and some aren't) and knowing that someone's got your back and you've got theirs.

Everyone has their own idea of what love is but that's mine. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"love is fickle and never lasts

Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here

Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love

Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it

last ?

you only have to look at the millions and millions of people on the countless dating sites all over the net to say it doesn't last..most of them are divorced or seperated"

Or maybe today's society makes it too easy for people to give up and separate? The older generation [in my opinion] seem to have longer marriages than today's generation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"together 34 years here and I would say that we "love" each other more now than at the start when it was what I think of a romantic love.

The people who love the idea of someone have missed the point of love. In my opinion love is accepting a person as they are not how you want them to be, allowing that person to be themselves (that's why some swinging couples are so successful and some aren't) and knowing that someone's got your back and you've got theirs.

Everyone has their own idea of what love is but that's mine. "

Yes!!!! That phrase- 'knowing that someone's got your back and you've got theirs'... I've been trying to put that into words for ages.

Thank you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"together 34 years here and I would say that we "love" each other more now than at the start when it was what I think of a romantic love.

The people who love the idea of someone have missed the point of love. In my opinion love is accepting a person as they are not how you want them to be, allowing that person to be themselves (that's why some swinging couples are so successful and some aren't) and knowing that someone's got your back and you've got theirs.

Everyone has their own idea of what love is but that's mine.

Yes!!!! That phrase- 'knowing that someone's got your back and you've got theirs'... I've been trying to put that into words for ages.

Thank you. "

Welcome!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find Lewis's Four Loves - based on 4 Greek words - are really useful in getting my head around this topic.

Storge - Affection: simplest, most natural, growing fondness through familiarity, brotherly/sisterly love

.

Philia - Friendship - the love between good friends....dark side could be exclusivity and cliquiness

Eros - Romantic Love - distinct from lust - where one person to the exclusion of others at that time is the object of a person's love. Dark side can be obsessional and lead to things like suicide pacts

Agape - Charity - a love beyond circumstance based on a deeper motivation and caring.

The potential for mistaking being in love with someone and being in love with the fantasy of someone, especially with the advent of online flirtationships, is high. (Although this was present in the past through love letters, long distance relationships etc., ).

The potential for short lived romantic attachments is therefore a distinct possibility due to the intensity of feeling that may partially or wholly be based on a fantasy. This may be what underlies unrequited love.

My guess is that love that lasts is firstly reciprocal and may well have the right mix of all four loves and is grounded in reality while recognising and exploring the fantasy together

Of course this should all be taken with a pinch of salt as one of WitchDoc's Brain Farts and has been packaged as Snake Oil

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I think some people over think it.

"The aim of love is to love, nothing more nothing less"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think some people over think it.

"The aim of love is to love, nothing more nothing less""

You're probably right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm lucky in that I've found someone who loves me nearly as much as I do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't you think LOVE is a "concept" invented by hollywood ?

Love varies depends on people, yet movies pushes us to have a single concept of it... "

Romantic love is a made up concept. The girl needs rescuing by a guy, there is only one special person out there for you that has to love you back, will give you what you want or think you need.

Real love is accepting and supporting people for who they are and never trying to change them (unconditional).

You are love, it's not a concept or an idea, it's you and how you treat everything that exists.

Altruism is another matter though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Don't you think LOVE is a "concept" invented by hollywood ?

Love varies depends on people, yet movies pushes us to have a single concept of it...

Romantic love is a made up concept. The girl needs rescuing by a guy, there is only one special person out there for you that has to love you back, will give you what you want or think you need.

Real love is accepting and supporting people for who they are and never trying to change them (unconditional).

You are love, it's not a concept or an idea, it's you and how you treat everything that exists.

Altruism is another matter though. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"love is fickle and never lasts

Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here

Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love"

Diviorce lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't help it,you can't get rid of it even when you don't want it

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

I get texts most days saying he loves me and it aint from my hubby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get texts most days saying he loves me and it aint from my hubby "

Son?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I get texts most days saying he loves me and it aint from my hubby

Son? "

hahaha

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"I get texts most days saying he loves me and it aint from my hubby

Son? "

ahem I have daughters

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"together 34 years here and I would say that we "love" each other more now than at the start when it was what I think of a romantic love.

The people who love the idea of someone have missed the point of love. In my opinion love is accepting a person as they are not how you want them to be, allowing that person to be themselves (that's why some swinging couples are so successful and some aren't) and knowing that someone's got your back and you've got theirs.

Everyone has their own idea of what love is but that's mine. "

That's mine too.

I can't be with the person I love and I know he loves me and can't be with me. Separating hasn't stopped us loving each other but it has released us to offer and accept love to and from others. Separating was the most loving thing we could do for each other.

I hated the idea of him and he couldn't stand me but over time we found that somehow our respect for each other grew into love and then being in love.

Love should never be treated as a cheap and easy token. It is a great gift to give and receive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get texts most days saying he loves me and it aint from my hubby

Son?

ahem I have daughters "

I didn't know.....I thought it may have been a trick statement to make us go ooooooooh! And then you'd fool us with your japeries........

I'm guessing not?

In which case......ooooooooh!.....do tell!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now that is a quote i would like to ask someone... as it seems it was the idea not actual love

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"I get texts most days saying he loves me and it aint from my hubby

Son?

ahem I have daughters

I didn't know.....I thought it may have been a trick statement to make us go ooooooooh! And then you'd fool us with your japeries........

I'm guessing not?

In which case......ooooooooh!.....do tell! "

a lady never tells

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get texts most days saying he loves me and it aint from my hubby

Son?

ahem I have daughters

I didn't know.....I thought it may have been a trick statement to make us go ooooooooh! And then you'd fool us with your japeries........

I'm guessing not?

In which case......ooooooooh!.....do tell!

a lady never tells"

That's an anticlimax........bloody info tease

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

[Removed by poster at 27/12/14 23:26:46]

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"I get texts most days saying he loves me and it aint from my hubby

Son?

ahem I have daughters

I didn't know.....I thought it may have been a trick statement to make us go ooooooooh! And then you'd fool us with your japeries........

I'm guessing not?

In which case......ooooooooh!.....do tell!

a lady never tells

That's an anticlimax........bloody info tease "

never an anti climax for me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh definitely and the idea of you can die as quickly as it started.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of people project their idea of what love means to them in their heads onto the relationship, but they don't allow things to develop naturally.

Very few people experience true love, it is indescribable I've heard

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