FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Xmas jokes

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Come and hit me with your worst Xmas jokes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call an elf who sings?

A wrapper.

I'll see myself out....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What do you call an elf who sings?

A wrapper.

I'll see myself out...."

Lol I'll get your coat lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Darth Vader says . . Luke. . I know what you're getting for Christmas . I've felt your presents

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Darth Vader says . . Luke. . I know what you're getting for Christmas . I've felt your presents "

Lol ....... Very poor indeed lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you never see Father Christmas in hospital?.............because he's got national elf service

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yorkshire man walking along the high street dressed as Santa ( that's the xmassy bit out of the way) and looks in a fancy Parisien cake shop.

He walks in and asks "How much is that Gattox you have in the window"

The lady behind the counter (add your own impression of a french accent)replies "It's not Gattox sir, it's Gateaux and it's £2 a slice"

"£2 a slice for fancy cake" says the Yorkshireman, " bolleaux to that".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do you never see Father Christmas in hospital?.............because he's got national elf service "

Christmas cracker 1988 .... Thankyou very much lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Yorkshire man walking along the high street dressed as Santa ( that's the xmassy bit out of the way) and looks in a fancy Parisien cake shop.

He walks in and asks "How much is that Gattox you have in the window"

The lady behind the counter (add your own impression of a french accent)replies "It's not Gattox sir, it's Gateaux and it's £2 a slice"

"£2 a slice for fancy cake" says the Yorkshireman, " bolleaux to that".

"

As im from lancashire I like jokes about Yorkshire people lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a bit daring...

When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come.

Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This is a bit daring...

When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come.

Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left.

"

Oooooooooooooo .......... Defanatly daring

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between Snowmen and Snowladies.. ?!

Snowballs!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What's the difference between Snowmen and Snowladies.. ?!

Snowballs! "

Lol xxxxxxxxxxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What's the difference between Snowmen and Snowladies.. ?!

Snowballs! "

You defanatly make my snowballs melt xxxxxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who says "oh oh oh"?

Santa going in reverse.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not christmasy but its one me dad told me the other day -

2 people having sex one night, when they finished one gets up to wash their hands and the other said " you're a surgeon are you?" The other goes "yes how did you know?"

"well you scrubbed your hands before and after"

"well" they reply, "are you and anaesthetist?"

"how did you know?"

They reply "well I didn't feel a thing"

Me dad is crap at jokes but once in a while you get a good un lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Not christmasy but its one me dad told me the other day -

2 people having sex one night, when they finished one gets up to wash their hands and the other said " you're a surgeon are you?" The other goes "yes how did you know?"

"well you scrubbed your hands before and after"

"well" they reply, "are you and anaesthetist?"

"how did you know?"

They reply "well I didn't feel a thing"

Me dad is crap at jokes but once in a while you get a good un lol "

Lol xxxxxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *layfull pairingCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I found a present under my tree today with no label or card attached so didnt know who it was from...so decided to open it....it was a bag of rice....must have been from my uncle ben

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm stealing that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paddy said to murphy Christmas day falls on Friday this year (even though its Thursday)murphy replies oh brillant going to be Friday 13th

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I found a present under my tree today with no label or card attached so didnt know who it was from...so decided to open it....it was a bag of rice....must have been from my uncle ben "

Best one so far lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As the 3 wise men stepped into the Barn,one of them stood in a big pile of cow shit wrecking his golden slippers,,"Jesus Christ" he shouted,Mary looks at Joseph and says ,,now I like that name its much nicer than "Trevor"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not christmasy but its one me dad told me the other day -

2 people having sex one night, when they finished one gets up to wash their hands and the other said " you're a surgeon are you?" The other goes "yes how did you know?"

"well you scrubbed your hands before and after"

"well" they reply, "are you and anaesthetist?"

"how did you know?"

They reply "well I didn't feel a thing"

Me dad is crap at jokes but once in a while you get a good un lol "

Me and my 13 siblings think that, most dads are crap but occasionally we get a good 'un.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paddy's walking to the Christmas market with a bulging sack.

Murphy says "What you got in there Paddy"

Paddy says "Fresh turkeys fattened ready for Christmas. Tell you what Murphy, as your my mate, if you can guess how many i've got in here you can have both of 'em"

Murphy : "Three"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the difference between Snowmen and Snowladies.. ?!

Snowballs!

You defanatly make my snowballs melt xxxxxx"
Mmmmmm. .You know I do! xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

Christmas Turkey

It was Christmas Eve in at the meat counter and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.

In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said, 'Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

'No, madam, 'he replied, 'they're all dead.'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why don't polar bears eat penguins?

They can't get the wrappers off...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

"On the Table"

He laid her on the table.

So white clean and bare.

His forehead wet with beads of sweat.

He rubbed her here and there.

He touched her neck and then her breast.

And then drooling felt her thigh.

The slit was wet and all was set,

He gave a joyous cry.

The hole was wide...he looked inside.

All was dark and murky.

He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms...

And then he stuffed the turkey.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top