FabSwingers.com forum: Eeek quick advice if anyone's familiar

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right just had the most impersonal text but it's a text nonetheless off the guy I really like who has recently returned to the uk from a short army exercise. He was away almost 3 months and got back Monday and his been online loads of times since and only now he's messages saying "I'm back now safe and sound" no kisses!!

I mean what do I say to that, do I even respond? Can I just add that I'm so so proud of myself for not caving in and messaging him, there were many times over the last week that I've wanted to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh dear that's hard especially if you like him. I'd be inclined to message back saying you are glad he's safe and sound with a kiss see how he responds. X

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I would just reply saying glad your home safe and sound. And leave it at that. From what you've said he knows exactly how you felt before he went away and I wouldn't be doing all the chasing. If he's interested he will come to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say thanks for letting me know. Glad you're ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh dear that's hard especially if you like him. I'd be inclined to message back saying you are glad he's safe and sound with a kiss see how he responds. X"

as a bloke that's what I'd hope in return. I might be feeling slightly cautious in my communication not knowing how things might have changed while I was away. A lot of blokes don't do emotional stuff very well

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By *ediceTV/TS
over a year ago

Wrexham

"Say thanks for letting me know. Glad you're ok."

^^^This^^^

Then the ball's in his court..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it doesn't sound like he is so enthusiastic as he was, but yes send a reply with no kisses and see what his reply is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes it doesn't sound like he is so enthusiastic as he was, but yes send a reply with no kisses and see what his reply is."

I agree x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Just back after 3 months away, he will have other priorities.

Give him space

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh dear that's hard especially if you like him. I'd be inclined to message back saying you are glad he's safe and sound with a kiss see how he responds. X"

This but no kiss. he couldn't be arsed with a proper message to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would just reply saying glad your home safe and sound. And leave it at that. From what you've said he knows exactly how you felt before he went away and I wouldn't be doing all the chasing. If he's interested he will come to you. "

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Right just had the most impersonal text but it's a text nonetheless off the guy I really like who has recently returned to the uk from a short army exercise. He was away almost 3 months and got back Monday and his been online loads of times since and only now he's messages saying "I'm back now safe and sound" no kisses!!

I mean what do I say to that, do I even respond? Can I just add that I'm so so proud of myself for not caving in and messaging him, there were many times over the last week that I've wanted to. "

I would just text back 'Glad to hear it'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd just say good, nice to hear it, and a kiss if you want to. He's sent an almost generic / group text

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Say thanks for letting me know. Glad you're ok."

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Is this the guy that was supposed to be on a "debrief" and was in-country but uncontactable for over a week... after just 3 months away?

Hate to break it to you, but it sounds fishy to me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'd leave it a while and then reply.

If you reply instantly to his every message it doesn't give him a chance to see how he feels when he doesn't have you on demand.

You need to give him some space, but be fun and polite and sexy when you do respond.

Giving him lots of space between contact will either make him keener and chase you or he will find someone else.

There's nothing you can do to force his decision one way or the other.

Be patient. I know it must be killing you! I've been there.

Squaddies move around a lot and a lot have different girls everywhere, not least because they want some fun but are also regularly cheated on because they have to be away a lot.

So be careful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know all men are different but when a man I had arranged to meet when he got back from Iraq came home I got a bit more than that. It's a tricky one,but I think you need to find out what his intentions are and get clarity or closure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say something along the lines ah that's good glad your safe and then play hard to get and leave the ball firmly in his court.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a good start a lot of advise from the previous thread still applies

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Sounds like a " hi friend I am back in town " text....so send a friend text back.

If you want more out of it, tell him. There is no point in beating about the bush like kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Treat em mean keep em keen!

Perhaps you should reply with congratulations... I am of course joking.. I'd just say ... Thanks for letting me know, glad your back safe and sound

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just said "glad you're alright" no kisses!

Hate bull shit silly games but I'm seriously on the back foot here.

Thanks everyone

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Message back a cool thanks for letting me know message.

If he wants more, he will let you know.

Give him some space, and see what happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just said "glad you're alright" no kisses!

Hate bull shit silly games but I'm seriously on the back foot here.

Thanks everyone "

So just out with it with him. Give us all a rest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with this, nice to respond to it. And well done for not caving in to temptation and texting him first

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Is he on here when you say he's been online a lot?

Relax, take a deep breath and decide what it is you actually like about him and whether the generic text represents any of what you really want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just back after 3 months away, he will have other priorities.

Give him space

"
but the op says he's been online, if he's been he could of messaged

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just back after 3 months away, he will have other priorities.

Give him space

but the op says he's been online, if he's been he could of messaged

"
been online I meant

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By *ratty_DamselWoman
over a year ago

Greater London

"Say thanks for letting me know. Glad you're ok."

Just the above.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just text him back and tell him to be sure to read this thread :

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/340824

If he's in the Irish Fusiliers or similar, tell him to be sure, to be sure to read the thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just said "glad you're alright" no kisses!

Hate bull shit silly games but I'm seriously on the back foot here.

Thanks everyone "

Good call hun. And I really hope this works out how you want it to! Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just said "glad you're alright" no kisses!

Hate bull shit silly games but I'm seriously on the back foot here.

Thanks everyone

Good call hun. And I really hope this works out how you want it to! Xx"

Thank you, well he hasn't responded to my message but I haven't been back online to see if he's read it. I won't now I'm gonna have a mars ice cream and watch top gun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just said "glad you're alright" no kisses!

Hate bull shit silly games but I'm seriously on the back foot here.

Thanks everyone

Good call hun. And I really hope this works out how you want it to! Xx

Thank you, well he hasn't responded to my message but I haven't been back online to see if he's read it. I won't now I'm gonna have a mars ice cream and watch top gun! "

Ooh is Top Gun on?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I'd leave him be. Why chase after someone that clearly doesn't want to be caught....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cue Duncan Norvell

Chase me, chase me.

it was him, wasn't it?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

The fact that you would consider checking if it is read is a sign that you are putting pressure on this, just chill and what will be, will be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is this the guy that was supposed to be on a "debrief" and was in-country but uncontactable for over a week... after just 3 months away?

Hate to break it to you, but it sounds fishy to me!

this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just said "glad you're alright" no kisses!

Hate bull shit silly games but I'm seriously on the back foot here.

Thanks everyone

Good call hun. And I really hope this works out how you want it to! Xx

Thank you, well he hasn't responded to my message but I haven't been back online to see if he's read it. I won't now I'm gonna have a mars ice cream and watch top gun!

Ooh is Top Gun on?

Aww no sorry was gonna watch it on DVD but I'm watching season 1 of game of thrones instead, been a while and this will definitely take my mind off things!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh dear that's hard especially if you like him. I'd be inclined to message back saying you are glad he's safe and sound with a kiss see how he responds. X

^^^^^^ spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does he know you have 'feelings' for him ?

Sometimes we (male and female alike) get more than we wished for and some of us don't have the where with all to say 'hang on a cotton pickin minute here, I just wanted a few shags and maybe a few drinks'

If that is the case, he might not be shaggin about, but simply avoiding you cos he thinks he's in over his head.

I'd prepare for both outcomes and ask him directly how he sees you and your 'relationship'

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Does he know you have 'feelings' for him ?

If that is the case, he might not be shaggin about, but simply avoiding you cos he thinks he's in over his head.

I'd prepare for both outcomes and ask him directly how he sees you and your 'relationship'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is this the guy that was supposed to be on a "debrief" and was in-country but uncontactable for over a week... after just 3 months away?

Hate to break it to you, but it sounds fishy to me!

What? The guy was uncontactable when he was out the country, (whatsapp said last online 4th oct) Monday his whatsapp showed him as active again so was back in the country, people assumed he was getting debriefed but that was everyone clutching at straws trying to guess what was happening. He was contactable once he was back but I didn't want to contact him first, was waiting for him to make 1st contact.

I don't know what's fishy about it all??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

he was expecting/waiting for you to message him with all the excitement of seeing his return

all the times he logged in beforehand were so you would see he was back

its the classic stand off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why didnt she message me as soon as she saw i was back/she mustve met someone else/not be into me as much as she was

why didnt he message me as soon as he was back/hes an inconsiderate prick that was never that into me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know if my friend who I thought I may be seeing this week before Xmas day is back in the country as no text, so I am assuming not. At least the op has had some contact, hope it goes well for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/12/14 09:21:58]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"why didnt she message me as soon as she saw i was back/she mustve met someone else/not be into me as much as she was

why didnt he message me as soon as he was back/hes an inconsiderate prick that was never that into me "

My friend actually said she thought he was trying to entice me into messaging him, 4 times in 5 days he changed his profile picture and she reckons it was his way of saying look at me I'm back!

He knew how I felt about before he went and knew I wanted to hear from him and I'd messaged him last so text etiquette would be for him to make first contact!

But he hasn't responded from last night and he's been online since so I'm sort of back where I started but don't feel as bad as I did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why didnt she message me as soon as she saw i was back/she mustve met someone else/not be into me as much as she was

why didnt he message me as soon as he was back/hes an inconsiderate prick that was never that into me

My friend actually said she thought he was trying to entice me into messaging him, 4 times in 5 days he changed his profile picture and she reckons it was his way of saying look at me I'm back!

He knew how I felt about before he went and knew I wanted to hear from him and I'd messaged him last so text etiquette would be for him to make first contact!

But he hasn't responded from last night and he's been online since so I'm sort of back where I started but don't feel as bad as I did. "

nevermind. fcuk him off and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sure you mailed about this last week saying You had seen he was online and why not Texting and people saying give him space as been away 3 months ... I told you about a man I meet on a site and would meet at clubs we got close and would meet family I did see him as a friend a good one .. Your story ring bells as he was away and going to a very dangerous place overseas to work 3 months .. I was so worried and like you see he had been on line but not mailing ... Just one email saying how bad it all was could not phone as could not have it there. Then I get a email from a woman saying he was dead I then found out he had been in uk with his sister working for her ... See we was just one of a number and he looked for ways of keeping us hanging on for him ... I am worried this in some way is going on here with you ...You only know what they wish to tell you here ........ and trusting others you don't know too well even if you think close is dangerous as you could get very very hurt . Let him come to you .. If he is into you as much as you say he will ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why didnt she message me as soon as she saw i was back/she mustve met someone else/not be into me as much as she was

why didnt he message me as soon as he was back/hes an inconsiderate prick that was never that into me

My friend actually said she thought he was trying to entice me into messaging him, 4 times in 5 days he changed his profile picture and she reckons it was his way of saying look at me I'm back!

He knew how I felt about before he went and knew I wanted to hear from him and I'd messaged him last so text etiquette would be for him to make first contact!

But he hasn't responded from last night and he's been online since so I'm sort of back where I started but don't feel as bad as I did. "

If he wants you he'll text. He knows how you feel. Ditch him and start the new year happy.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Personally I think he is taking you for a mug...he knows how you feel yet he hasn't responded to how you feel. It's called the dangling carrot syndrome..

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Personally I think he is taking you for a mug...he knows how you feel yet he hasn't responded to how you feel. It's called the dangling carrot syndrome.."

Potentially has a few others dangling too?

Move on - I doubt he's sat there worrying as you seem to be.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Give him time .. If he wants you he'll get in touch .. He'll be a mug not to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I think he is taking you for a mug...he knows how you feel yet he hasn't responded to how you feel. It's called the dangling carrot syndrome.."

plus three sides to every story. Hers, his and the truth!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Give him time .. If he wants you he'll get in touch .. He'll be a mug not to

Why is he a mug not contacting her? No matter how pretty someone is etc doesn't mean that every man is going to bow down...if he ain't into her, he ain't into her...does it make him a mug? No not really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op.. It really shouldn't be this much effort...

Move on.. He's just not into you the way you are into him.

Otherwise he would be with u as soon as he got back..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP. I would say see things for what they are, Not what you wish them to be get in the real world, And out of the if only world as it mess your head up. If only he would tex... if only he call .... if only .... that's no life to live hanging on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

His child (from previous marraige) is his number one priority. The little time he is home he will be with his family. I can't nag at him cos then I'll be doing exactly what he said he didn't want. If he gets in touch then great if not I'll moan about it on here and to my friends, anything that will stop me letting him know I'm bothered. I'm just mirroring what he's doing. I didn't contact him for the week I knew he was back I waited for him to message and then responded. If he messages again then I'll respond, I'm not going to try initiating anything.

It takes me some time but I'm getting a bit pissed off with it all if I'm honest, pretty soon I'll get to the point where I don't give a fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"His child (from previous marraige) is his number one priority. The little time he is home he will be with his family. I can't nag at him cos then I'll be doing exactly what he said he didn't want. If he gets in touch then great if not I'll moan about it on here and to my friends, anything that will stop me letting him know I'm bothered. I'm just mirroring what he's doing. I didn't contact him for the week I knew he was back I waited for him to message and then responded. If he messages again then I'll respond, I'm not going to try initiating anything.

It takes me some time but I'm getting a bit pissed off with it all if I'm honest, pretty soon I'll get to the point where I don't give a fuck. "
my friend had a child and say the same things he come first and he should .. But again it takes 2 mins to tex say hi I am ok ... don't it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He did message and say he was back safe and sound but it took him 6 days to do so! I'm just leaving him to it.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I was once where you are at...a bit needy, fighting for attention off guys over anazlising conversations and what they were saying and moulding it into something that wasn't what they meant. With my behaviour I scared off men some really good guys. Now I'm at a stage where I no longer crave attention off men and certainly don't chase them. I've become very much laid back in my approach and not reading to much into something or jumping head first. I remember you saying that you attract men but you can't keep them. Maybe you need to look at your own behaviour rather than the man's behaviour...once you can understand where you are going wrong things will click into place.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I don't envy you having a complicated life. You seem to have a lot of ups and downs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes me some time but I'm getting a bit pissed off with it all if I'm honest, pretty soon I'll get to the point where I don't give a fuck. my friend had a child and say the same things he come first and he should .. But again it takes 2 mins to tex say hi I am ok ... don't it."

People MAKE time for people they care about.

"He's Just Not Into You", a brilliant book/film every woman needs to read/see

S x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

just message him and tell him you really like him.... and ask if he would be interested in taking it further with you romantically....

good lord, it's like playground stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He did message and say he was back safe and sound but it took him 6 days to do so! I'm just leaving him to it. "
That was 6 days it takes 2 mins or less for a tex ..... maybe we know the same man . lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was once where you are at...a bit needy, fighting for attention off guys over anazlising conversations and what they were saying and moulding it into something that wasn't what they meant. With my behaviour I scared off men some really good guys. Now I'm at a stage where I no longer crave attention off men and certainly don't chase them. I've become very much laid back in my approach and not reading to much into something or jumping head first. I remember you saying that you attract men but you can't keep them. Maybe you need to look at your own behaviour rather than the man's behaviour...once you can understand where you are going wrong things will click into place.

I love this post... I recognise how I used to be

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

This is going to sound harsh and I don't know all the details but from the little I do know I would say he's keeping you on the hook as a convenient shag when he wants.

As hard as it may be I would wish him well and walk away. You are more worthy than that kind of treatment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't let this spoil your Christmas. Wish him well and a nice Christmas with his family,tell him you'll be in touch after and enjoy yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good lord, it's like playground stuff."

it sure is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's taken me years to fully understand that it was MY behaviour that was scaring off men and not them. It's now like a weight has been lifted and I now have so much insight as to why I'm not in a relationship. For me I'm using skills ive found and putting them to use in my current dating world. "
And glad you sorted it all out and you understand yourself better. But Some men do give out mixed messages and some are real player and lie its not easy at times to read and I did think at once I could read people well ... until I meet a man I trusted and it made me feel like a real mug . lol You live and you learn I have . xx

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I don't think he has done anything wrong. It's not like he has led her up the garden path and proclaimed his love for her and all that Jazz. He had a shag and took her out a few times, she fell for him and it's clear that he just ain't that into her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think he has done anything wrong. It's not like he has led her up the garden path and proclaimed his love for her and all that Jazz. He had a shag and took her out a few times, she fell for him and it's clear that he just ain't that into her. "
yes she got of light if that is all he done ... But crushed her heart and maybe her dreams too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's taken me years to fully understand that it was MY behaviour that was scaring off men and not them. It's now like a weight has been lifted and I now have so much insight as to why I'm not in a relationship. For me I'm using skills ive found and putting them to use in my current dating world. And glad you sorted it all out and you understand yourself better. But Some men do give out mixed messages and some are real player and lie its not easy at times to read and I did think at once I could read people well ... until I meet a man I trusted and it made me feel like a real mug . lol You live and you learn I have . xx"

This but not sure I will ever learn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just message him and tell him you really like him.... and ask if he would be interested in taking it further with you romantically....

good lord, it's like playground stuff."

Why not just move on past the post then? It might seem immature but when you feel like you've got romantic feelings for someone it can become all-consuming and you read into every little detail. Plenty of us have been there.

Hope it works out for the best for you OP, whatever happens.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"just message him and tell him you really like him.... and ask if he would be interested in taking it further with you romantically....

good lord, it's like playground stuff.

Hope it works out for the best for you OP, whatever happens. "

and I gave her advice to contact him directly and ask..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Indeed. . It's not always so easy for people. I'm a cocky, direct cheeky guy. . But I can understand people who fear the risk of rejection .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just message him and tell him you really like him.... and ask if he would be interested in taking it further with you romantically....

good lord, it's like playground stuff.

Hope it works out for the best for you OP, whatever happens.

and I gave her advice to contact him directly and ask.."

Which is excellent advice, it's a shame you needed to follow it up with a derogatory comment about playground behaviour.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"just message him and tell him you really like him.... and ask if he would be interested in taking it further with you romantically....

good lord, it's like playground stuff.

Hope it works out for the best for you OP, whatever happens.

and I gave her advice to contact him directly and ask..

Which is excellent advice, it's a shame you needed to follow it up with a derogatory comment about playground behaviour. "

and it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sure you mailed about this last week saying You had seen he was online and why not Texting and people saying give him space as been away 3 months ... I told you about a man I meet on a site and would meet at clubs we got close and would meet family I did see him as a friend a good one .. Your story ring bells as he was away and going to a very dangerous place overseas to work 3 months .. I was so worried and like you see he had been on line but not mailing ... Just one email saying how bad it all was could not phone as could not have it there. Then I get a email from a woman saying he was dead I then found out he had been in uk with his sister working for her ... See we was just one of a number and he looked for ways of keeping us hanging on for him ... I am worried this in some way is going on here with you ...You only know what they wish to tell you here ........ and trusting others you don't know too well even if you think close is dangerous as you could get very very hurt . Let him come to you .. If he is into you as much as you say he will .. "

i thought this and looked back but couldnt find the thread - thought i was having a deja vu moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just message him and tell him you really like him.... and ask if he would be interested in taking it further with you romantically....

good lord, it's like playground stuff.

Hope it works out for the best for you OP, whatever happens.

and I gave her advice to contact him directly and ask..

Which is excellent advice, it's a shame you needed to follow it up with a derogatory comment about playground behaviour.

and it is."

Maybe one day we'll all be as wise as you then.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"just message him and tell him you really like him.... and ask if he would be interested in taking it further with you romantically....

good lord, it's like playground stuff.

Hope it works out for the best for you OP, whatever happens.

and I gave her advice to contact him directly and ask..

Which is excellent advice, it's a shame you needed to follow it up with a derogatory comment about playground behaviour.

and it is.

Maybe one day we'll all be as wise as you then. "

and you in affairs of the heart

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I'd add a kiss x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Personally I think he is taking you for a mug...he knows how you feel yet he hasn't responded to how you feel. It's called the dangling carrot syndrome.."

But has he? All he has done is send a text like a friend would with no kisses etc.

As the OP had told him before he "left for overseas" that she had feelings for him, I think he is telling her exactly what he is thinking, that friends it is and only that

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Personally I think he is taking you for a mug...he knows how you feel yet he hasn't responded to how you feel. It's called the dangling carrot syndrome..

But has he? All he has done is send a text like a friend would with no kisses etc.

As the OP had told him before he "left for overseas" that she had feelings for him, I think he is telling her exactly what he is thinking, that friends it is and only that

I agree..but even friends communicate a bit more than one message. I speak to most of my friends daily.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Personally I think he is taking you for a mug...he knows how you feel yet he hasn't responded to how you feel. It's called the dangling carrot syndrome..

But has he? All he has done is send a text like a friend would with no kisses etc.

As the OP had told him before he "left for overseas" that she had feelings for him, I think he is telling her exactly what he is thinking, that friends it is and only that

I agree..but even friends communicate a bit more than one message. I speak to most of my friends daily. "

That's you though Maybe what they had as different OR there is an even simplr message there....I am doing the courtesy of letting you know I am safe but leave me alone now.

Sadly we can only read into it how we see it as he hasn't said much....so if it was me I would be taking it as....I don't want much contact anymore.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's you though Maybe what they had as different OR there is an even simplr message there....I am doing the courtesy of letting you know I am safe but leave me alone now.

Sadly we can only read into it how we see it as he hasn't said much....so if it was me I would be taking it as....I don't want much contact anymore."

Think it's this one, he's done all he said he was gonna do and that was let me know he was back safe when he got back.

Any ideas of any sort of relationship was in my head only not from anything he had promised. I would have been an easy shag to him if he wanted one but I told him before he went that if he was to see me again I wanted a boyfriend and nothing less. Both our cards have been layed on the table, he said he doesn't want a relationship I said I did, I don't need to contact him to ask him how he feels cos I already know. I'm just moaning on here, it stops me from moaning to him!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I received a Christmas card in the post from a guy I haven't seen in a couple of years, he knew I was rather sweet on him then. Now he says in his card hope to meet up with you again in the new year and enclosed his email address.

Should I ask him which new year he means, did his cards get lost the previous two years, or is he just messing with my emotions?

Sounds daft when you read this doesn't it? All true though!

I wondered what might have been, for oh, a nanosecond. His world and mine may never collide again but he was thinking of me when he wrote it - as I was him when I read it. My world keeps turning in my own way. End of story.

p.s I agree with Ruggers' explanation.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Personally I think he is taking you for a mug...he knows how you feel yet he hasn't responded to how you feel. It's called the dangling carrot syndrome..

But has he? All he has done is send a text like a friend would with no kisses etc.

As the OP had told him before he "left for overseas" that she had feelings for him, I think he is telling her exactly what he is thinking, that friends it is and only that

I agree..but even friends communicate a bit more than one message. I speak to most of my friends daily.

That's you though Maybe what they had as different OR there is an even simplr message there....I am doing the courtesy of letting you know I am safe but leave me alone now.

Sadly we can only read into it how we see it as he hasn't said much....so if it was me I would be taking it as....I don't want much contact anymore."

I understand what you are saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hang on....crazy idea, bear with me on this one....what about just asking someone right out? A straight honest question without all the guesswork conjecture and dancing around the subject? Two people can take part actually, it then becomes known as a "conversation" I know....its a bit left field but ya never know....drastic times and all that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hang on....crazy idea, bear with me on this one....what about just asking someone right out? A straight honest question without all the guesswork conjecture and dancing around the subject? Two people can take part actually, it then becomes known as a "conversation" I know....its a bit left field but ya never know....drastic times and all that. "

Don't you start breaking out in all your common-sense as well!!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

That's you though Maybe what they had as different OR there is an even simplr message there....I am doing the courtesy of letting you know I am safe but leave me alone now.

Sadly we can only read into it how we see it as he hasn't said much....so if it was me I would be taking it as....I don't want much contact anymore.

Think it's this one, he's done all he said he was gonna do and that was let me know he was back safe when he got back.

At least you think you know now, move on and stop looking at whether he has read text or mails, someone will turn up one day who wants the same as you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't you start breaking out in all your common-sense as well!!

Sorry...it happens sometimes......from time to time my overbearing idiocy parts and allows a little common sense through...I think my sarcasm gland leaks into it a bit too when this happens. Don't worry, i'll get a handle on it soon and all commons sense will be kept to a minimum...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Conclusion!!

Couple more messages which I responded to in kind, couple today and I just said when are we gonna have a drink and he said he's not drinking anymore! I said being healthy or being polite, he said being polite, I think it's best not to see each other again I only messaged you to let you know I was back!! So I've got my answer, not the one I wanted but nonetheless I have my answer. Cunt! What a sucky end to the year and i wasted best part of 6 months on him occupying my head.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Conclusion!!

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By *haunMan
over a year ago

Halton

"Conclusion!!

Very sorry to hear / read that.

Not what you wanted and a shitty way to finish the year.

Yes he was a complete C for the way he didn't deal with in on his return.

But at least you now know and as much as possible allows you to start 2015 all fresh without this hanging over you (as such)

Big hugs while you may feel sorry for yourself, then get yourself up and about for 2015.

You look stunning, so I am sure you soon have your inbox full again of men hopeful to meet you.

xxx

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Conclusion!!

I am sorry you feel that it's a bad end to the year and that he's a cunt.

You knew he wanted different things, he was polite in letting you know he was back and you knew what that meant at the beginning of the week.

I understand that picking at a scab thing but it's not the scab's fault that you can't heal. Enjoy the rest of this year and start 2015 afresh.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Personally I think he is taking you for a mug...he knows how you feel yet he hasn't responded to how you feel. It's called the dangling carrot syndrome..

But has he? All he has done is send a text like a friend would with no kisses etc.

As the OP had told him before he "left for overseas" that she had feelings for him, I think he is telling her exactly what he is thinking, that friends it is and only that

If I was single, and had a lady like the OP basically letting me know that she was "into me"... I would be in there like a rat up a drainpipe... if I was single.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Very sorry to hear / read that.

Not what you wanted and a shitty way to finish the year.

Yes he was a complete C for the way he didn't deal with in on his return.

But at least you now know and as much as possible allows you to start 2015 all fresh without this hanging over you (as such)

Big hugs while you may feel sorry for yourself, then get yourself up and about for 2015.

You look stunning, so I am sure you soon have your inbox full again of men hopeful to meet you.

xxx

I don't want lots of men to want to meet me, I want just one guy to be with properly. Being lonely is such a shit feeling. I'm just glad I asked him today not yesterday or Xmas Eve cos that would have put me on a downer and then my daughter would see me sad and that makes me feel guilty which is like a vicious circle of feeling shit.

Not even game of thrones is taking my mind off things today!

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

But haven't you only got yourself to blame for investing 6 months of your time on someone who you knew wasn't after a relationship? You need to keep your head straight and not read things that aren't there, yes we have all done it on occasion but honestly you need to sort yourself out before you look to someone else to complete you, if you are a bit full on you maybe scaring potential partners away, just sit back and look at your own self worth, be strong and start from there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very sorry to hear / read that.

Not what you wanted and a shitty way to finish the year.

Yes he was a complete C for the way he didn't deal with in on his return.

But at least you now know and as much as possible allows you to start 2015 all fresh without this hanging over you (as such)

Big hugs while you may feel sorry for yourself, then get yourself up and about for 2015.

You look stunning, so I am sure you soon have your inbox full again of men hopeful to meet you.

xxx

Not even game of thrones is taking my mind off things today!

On all honesty is this site the best place for you?

Perhaps try a dating site?

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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago

North Yorkshire by the Sea

Not sure I think he is a C for being polite but BIG HUG for you. At least you know where you stand, many guys would have sent you a merry line to get laid.

It's so awful when you like someone and it's not mutual, but I don't think it's easy to stay strong, when you're feeling alone. Stay busy as much as possible, take all the love you can get from your friends/family, and most if all, don't look For it.

If you look, you'll be looking in the wrong places and people, so just keep being open/ social, and it will find you. Probably when you least expect it.

xox

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The guy isn't on here, wasn't from this place.

I only really stick around here for the forum. I'm fine with guys I meet for a one off on here. Despite me being a sap to people I've developed feelings for, I'm fine with one off meets.

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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago

North Yorkshire by the Sea

"The guy isn't on here, wasn't from this place.

I only really stick around here for the forum. I'm fine with guys I meet for a one off on here. Despite me being a sap to people I've developed feelings for, I'm fine with one off meets. "

Then fuck him out of your system scuse the French!

if it works bonus! if not, it's a great distraction x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fail to see how he's a cunt.

You got the wrong impression, you've said in other threads that he wasn't interested in a relationship. He's also in a very high stress job and probably doesn't need to come home to find his pet rabbit bubbling away in a saucepan and his sensitive information plastered all over a swinging website.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The guy isn't on here, wasn't from this place.

I only really stick around here for the forum. I'm fine with guys I meet for a one off on here. Despite me being a sap to people I've developed feelings for, I'm fine with one off meets. "

Well I hope you're ok,I doesn't sound like he was playing games but sometimes when we really like someone we can read into things they say or do far to much. Put it down to experience..you're gorgeous and no doubt broke a few hearts in your time too. Make 2015 your year for not taking any nonsense! That's what I'm planning on doing

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By *em4ejacWoman
over a year ago

Cougarville

"Just said "glad you're alright" no kisses!

Hate bull shit silly games but I'm seriously on the back foot here.

Thanks everyone "

Should just text back "busy"

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I fail to see how he's a cunt.

Couldn't agree more. Seems like he dodged a fairly big crazy bullet to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Conclusion!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I fail to see how he's a cunt.

I'm having difficulty with that one too. You've even said in this thread that any sort of relationship was in your head only not from anything he had promised.

He's been completely honest with you from the start so I really fail to see how that makes him a cunt!

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By *ola.Woman
over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

Shame this story is over, have to download a chick romance on my kindle now.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

oh well, onwards and upwards

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Shame this story is over, have to download a chick romance on my kindle now.

64 posts to go, there may be a sudden plot twist yet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He's a cunt because of his actions not his words. Just because he told me he wasn't looking for a relationship doesn't excuse what he's done. Each time he said he didn't want a relationship it was always accompanied with his reasons as to why, a girl can't handle the time he's away, he doesn't trust women not to hurt him. Now to me those reasons he was giving seemed subject to change, coupled with his actions it gave me false hope. I don't want a relationship with you but let's go to my family home and drink tea with my family, I don't want a relationship but let me take you to the wedding of a close friend from my regiment where most of my workforce will be, I don't want a relationship but let's go out for meals, shopping, cinema, drinks with my friends. I don't want a relationship but let me see you every weekend I'm home and message you everyday whilst I'm stuck at my uk base.

Guards are up now, men can fuck off, I'm not letting anyone get close to me.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

it gave you false hope...... false hope and you set your stall out to have him, on your terms not his.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I really can't see why he's a cunt, he's always told you he didn't want a relationship. You've put numerous threads up about this guy and to be honest its pretty scary the way you've behaved.

Poor guy has done nothing wrong the relationship has been in your head.

Maybe you can learn some lessons from this

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Looking from the outside at the start of this thread looking through my eyes it seemed doomed.

There have been threads before where friends with benefits / fuck buddies and one member has developed feelings whilst the other hasn't, it more often than not results in the end of that arrangement.... Not easy for the folks involved it's hurts

Hope 2015 is better for you

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"He's a cunt because of his actions not his words. Just because he told me he wasn't looking for a relationship doesn't excuse what he's done. Each time he said he didn't want a relationship it was always accompanied with his reasons as to why, a girl can't handle the time he's away, he doesn't trust women not to hurt him. Now to me those reasons he was giving seemed subject to change, coupled with his actions it gave me false hope. I don't want a relationship with you but let's go to my family home and drink tea with my family, I don't want a relationship but let me take you to the wedding of a close friend from my regiment where most of my workforce will be, I don't want a relationship but let's go out for meals, shopping, cinema, drinks with my friends. I don't want a relationship but let me see you every weekend I'm home and message you everyday whilst I'm stuck at my uk base.

Guards are up now, men can fuck off, I'm not letting anyone get close to me. "

I don't want a relationship so let's be friends with benefits is all I'm reading there.

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By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol.

During the past few months,i have had 5 guys,attached to the military contacting me fairly regularly,esp when lonely and in need of a wank!

Four of them would be returning to the uk for xmas and they kept me up to date with what they were gonna do to me..It was fun and I really had no expectations..guess what? I haven't heard from any of them.. but enjoyed some of the fantasy...No doubt I was one of many..Ax

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Guards are up now, men can fuck off, I'm not letting anyone get close to me. "

He seems to have said 'I don't want a relationship' every time.

Was that hint too subtle?

Had he not said it? Different story!

But he did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guards are up now, men can fuck off, I'm not letting anyone get close to me. "

I've done similar things with my friend with benefits. If he was clear about not wanting a relationship, I can't see why he's a c*nt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean what do I say to that, do I even respond? Can I just add that I'm so so proud of myself for not caving in and messaging him, there were many times over the last week that I've wanted to. "

It could be that the last few days have taken it out of him emotionally. When got back everyone kept asking me how I am it's amazing news I'm safe. Wears you down especially Xmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guards are up now, men can fuck off, I'm not letting anyone get close to me. "

I have a fwb and 18 months ago we both stated we didn't want a relationship.

We've done most the things you and your friend did...shopping, family & friends parties, he even texts my son about football and xbox games etc

But at no point will it ever become a relationship because it was stated at the start that was how it was going to be.

None of his actions will ever get me calling him names because we have always been truthful with each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he's on here, hope he doesn't read the forums!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok so to move this forward then and stop a person making the same mistakes again what should be done.

Not sleep with someone you want a relationship with straight away? Value yourself a bit more, don't do all the chasing. Don't let yourself have feelings for someone until you know they're reciprocated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok so to move this forward then and stop a person making the same mistakes again what should be done.

Chill out, go with the flow and try not to read too much into things. Whatever happens happens.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Ok so to move this forward then and stop a person making the same mistakes again what should be done.

be honest with your expectations, listen with both ears to what is being said and respect both yours and other party's choices....

but is a NSA sex the ideal place for what you seek ?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

sex site*

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Ok so to move this forward then and stop a person making the same mistakes again what should be done.

"
its not any of those things, from the posts you've put up you need to just stop acting like a crazy woman.

If you meet someone take each day for what it is, you don't have to define it as a relationship from the first time you meet them. Don't over analize every word or action, just go with the flow. Relationships are supposed to be fun and not hard work

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Ok so to move this forward then and stop a person making the same mistakes again what should be done.

be honest with your expectations, listen with both ears to what is being said and respect both yours and other party's choices....

but is a NSA sex the ideal place for what you seek ?"

It can be.

But not if only one half is looking/willing to get into one.

Fab is no different from the rest of life and you could just as easily meet a potential 'relationship' partner in a pub or at the checkout at Asda! (Other supermarkets are available!)

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Ok so to move this forward then and stop a person making the same mistakes again what should be done.

be honest with your expectations, listen with both ears to what is being said and respect both yours and other party's choices....

but is a NSA sex the ideal place for what you seek ?

It can be.

But not if only one half is looking/willing to get into one.

Fab is no different from the rest of life and you could just as easily meet a potential 'relationship' partner in a pub or at the checkout at Asda! (Other supermarkets are available!)

that is why I said 'ideal', of course it happens and it always will.

but the OP is clear in her profile what she seeks, that is admirable but it will attract the genuine and the false. That is the risk she takes on here, but that will also be the case in the outside world.

I hope she finds what she seeks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Any tips on how to not be a crazy woman? I do genuinely believe that the more blissfully unaware you are the more happier you are. If you over think or over analyse things that's when you have problems.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any tips on how to not be a crazy woman? I do genuinely believe that the more blissfully unaware you are the more happier you are. If you over think or over analyse things that's when you have problems. "

Judging by some of your threads this is exactly what you do. You can't essentially change who you are but try to chill and go with the flow. Don't expect anything then you won't be disappointed if nothing happens.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You're right in saying that over thinking brings problems but other people aren't blissfully unaware......they have perspective and realise that things are usually just as they seem. I know over thinking is a difficult thing to overcome I

have two friends who do this to extremes but it makes their lives miserable, I have no answers I'm afraid.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't mean this to be harsh but unless you find a way to get control of this friends will distance themselves because it does come across eventually as self centred....I know that isn't the intention. Are there any self help books, would it help to discuss it with your gp or maybe a close friend who would be willing to tell you when you seem to be about to start obsessing?

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

From the bits I've read, it appears to me

you're full on, you require constant attention a little needy I think you might smother some guys...

Take it slow. look forward to a message but don't wait for it, if you send a message don't wait for the response get on with doing stuff,

even in relationships you need your oxn space.

Best of luck.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

It doesn't happen overnight it takes time to change your behaviour sometimes years. You begin to understand what you are doing to scare the bejesus out of men that send them running for the hills. I used to over think and over anazilse and it drove me to the brink of madness. I was so unhappy so I made a lot of changes hence why I have been single 4 years. I'm now ready to find the one without all the drama of being a complete mad woman.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Try and live in the moment and not the future, or the past.

I understand the crazy, believe me I do, but over the years I have come to realise that if he isn't into you then it's not going to happen however much you wish it. When they then start a relationship with someone else after telling you they didn't want one what they are saying is "I knew I didn't want one when I was with you. I didn't realise I would feel differently when I met the right person for me."

When you feel less hurt I am sure you will see his behaviour was not that out of order. He was clear but you scrambled the signal with your desires and future planning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whats the latest then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly he thought, she didn't even message to say welcome home... best not be too quick to PM her or she will run for the hills...

Communication is always difficult to judge and impossible when looking from a distance.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Guards are up now, men can fuck off, I'm not letting anyone get close to me. "

If this had been me and I knew I was developing feelings for the guy but he wasn't prepared to make a commitment i would of cut ties long ago. Because he was still maintaining he didn't want a relationship. It's different if you were happy to be a friend with benefits and keep doing what you were doing but you clearly weren't.

And I don't think he was a cunt either. You decided that you thought sticking it out might change his mind even when he made it clear. (Plenty would of done the same) but he's just kept to what he said. Which is a shame for you but doesn't make him a cunt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For goodness sake

Just say hi back. A conversation will start.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take it slow. look forward to a message but don't wait for it, if you send a message don't wait for the response get on with doing stuff,

even in relationships you need your oxn space.

Best of luck.

Brilliant advice

S x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For some love is a way of life

They can be so tender and open hearted

Wounding them is unavoidable

Hell hath no fury...

The switch between the two is swift.

I'll offer the same advice I gave a young female friend recently.

Step back from relationships and discover who you are, otherwise you will be defined by who you are with and never understand YOU.

Apologies if you already have spent time just being you.

My above friend has always been in a relationship, until she discovers who she is that is no doubt how things will remain.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just think it's frustratingly hard when you know you're getting to that point where you're going to do something or act in a way that's crazy but being unable to stop it, knowing beforehand that you'll fuck things up and make things worse but still being unable to stop it.

Whether people believe in law of attraction or not if is all around us and working all the time, everyone is putting their vibrations out there and will attract people to you to mirror how you feel inside. I believe that at some point people I care about will leave me, I have massive issues with rejection and very little self worth. Until I believe that I'm worthy of being loved I'm gonna keep attracting the wrong people.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Just think it's frustratingly hard when you know you're getting to that point where you're going to do something or act in a way that's crazy but being unable to stop it, knowing beforehand that you'll fuck things up and make things worse but still being unable to stop it.

The the priority should be sorting out your own head and issues before complicating things by looking to bring someone else into the equation.

Otherwise the same will repeat ad infinitum.

Unless you change the way you see things and how you behave then you're lining yourself up for further rejection and unhappiness - it's a self fulfilling prophecy that will most likely continue.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

You aren't attracting the wrong people, you are attracting the right people but reading the situation wrong. You really need to sort out your own issues and feel comfortable with yourself, until you do this the cycle will keep going round and round, stop and think what you are doing, be objective about yourself, you said you can see yourself doing these things, if you can see it you can stop it.

Honestly the answer is with you, identify your issues, solve them and enjoy being you rather than looking to be "us" for a while.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

There is your answer.

If you feel that someone is responding to your needs and you are finding that attractive then slow it right down and check what you're putting out. If it's the desperate woman who believes it will end with you being hurt then stop. Change your mind and your belief and see what happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd agree with other posters - sort out your own issues or you won't love the life you think you want to live.

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By *nvercoupleCouple
over a year ago

Inverness

This is a swingers site, looking for romance here is likely to end up in heart break.

If you feel your wanting a relationship out of it then tell him how you feel. Then its upto him how things progress, if all he wants is NSA fun, which I suspect is what he wants, then you need to avoid him in the future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe think about a dating site a good one .. And that's how you will get more them a shag maybe as they will be looking for the same thing as you .

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Maybe think about a dating site a good one .. And that's how you will get more them a shag maybe as they will be looking for the same thing as you ."

I hate to burst your advice but dating sites are just like fab only sprinkled with a bit of dating dust lol...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe think about a dating site a good one .. And that's how you will get more them a shag maybe as they will be looking for the same thing as you .

I hate to burst your advice but dating sites are just like fab only sprinkled with a bit of dating dust lol...

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe think about a dating site a good one .. And that's how you will get more them a shag maybe as they will be looking for the same thing as you .

I hate to burst your advice but dating sites are just like fab only sprinkled with a bit of dating dust lol...

"
Yes the free ones are . I know as friend on them .. But there are better ones and you pay for . From this post she is looking for more and I don't think on them other sites sex would be first thing on there mind sex, Maybe they would take time to know a person first not shag and go move to next cheap trill . This man she liked It could just be his way of playing this game and she may just be one of a number and so not worth her feelings .. He some how give her hope of more and maybe a lot in her head as she liked him a lot .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe think about a dating site a good one .. And that's how you will get more them a shag maybe as they will be looking for the same thing as you .

I hate to burst your advice but dating sites are just like fab only sprinkled with a bit of dating dust lol...

Yes the free ones are . I know as friend on them .. But there are better ones and you pay for . From this post she is looking for more and I don't think on them other sites sex would be first thing on there mind sex, Maybe they would take time to know a person first not shag and go move to next cheap trill . This man she liked It could just be his way of playing this game and she may just be one of a number and so not worth her feelings .. He some how give her hope of more and maybe a lot in her head as she liked him a lot . "

I'm not sure he gave her false hope or lead her on. As I read it, he was upfront about not wanting a relationship from the start unless I read it wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally don't think this site or others like it are what the OP needs. She obviously has issues seperating sex from love even when she's told that the other person isn't interested in the latter.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Guards are up now, men can fuck off, I'm not letting anyone get close to me. "

I would have taken that as he wanted you as a friend with benefits. I am not sure how much plainer he could have been.

To me it means he was honest rather than a cunt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guards are up now, men can fuck off, I'm not letting anyone get close to me.

I would have taken that as he wanted you as a friend with benefits. I am not sure how much plainer he could have been.

To me it means he was honest rather than a cunt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe think about a dating site a good one .. And that's how you will get more them a shag maybe as they will be looking for the same thing as you .

I hate to burst your advice but dating sites are just like fab only sprinkled with a bit of dating dust lol...

I'm not sure he gave her false hope or lead her on. As I read it, he was upfront about not wanting a relationship from the start unless I read it wrong. "
In her head she felt maybe there was more to this .. As meeting family and his friends . She felt he was her friend too her a close one ....... That hurts thinking you made a friend but really they are nothing to you at all . Only thing that will help is time and se will move on a look back at this for what it is .

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"Maybe think about a dating site a good one .. And that's how you will get more them a shag maybe as they will be looking for the same thing as you .

I hate to burst your advice but dating sites are just like fab only sprinkled with a bit of dating dust lol...

I'm not sure he gave her false hope or lead her on. As I read it, he was upfront about not wanting a relationship from the start unless I read it wrong. "

No this is how I read it too, obviously I can't blame her for persevering and hoping he would come around as many would do the same if they really liked someone. But I don't think he ever led her on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/12/14 14:38:05]

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Maybe think about a dating site a good one .. And that's how you will get more them a shag maybe as they will be looking for the same thing as you .

I hate to burst your advice but dating sites are just like fab only sprinkled with a bit of dating dust lol...

I've been on those paying dating sites paying £25 a month and I found they are no different...even players, cheaters and what not have money. I'm not saying that dating sites don't work...clearly they do as there have been millions meeting through them however there are people who will prey on the vulnerable and the OP to me is coming across very vulnerable. If I put my 2 pence in I don't think the OP should be using any form of dating sites she needs to concentrate on making positive changes rather than jump into Fire....but what do I know I'm shit at relationships lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I personally don't think this site or others like it are what the OP needs. She obviously has issues seperating sex from love even when she's told that the other person isn't interested in the latter."

Sorry typos.

agree. I really think OP that you need to take time out to think about what you really want and to sort your feelings out.

I do feel sorry for this poor man though, he's been called a cunt and been accused of leading the OP on and giving her false hope, where in fact she's admitted herself on this and other threads that he's done no such thing.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"Maybe think about a dating site a good one .. And that's how you will get more them a shag maybe as they will be looking for the same thing as you .

I hate to burst your advice but dating sites are just like fab only sprinkled with a bit of dating dust lol...

I'm not sure he gave her false hope or lead her on. As I read it, he was upfront about not wanting a relationship from the start unless I read it wrong. In her head she felt maybe there was more to this .. As meeting family and his friends . She felt he was her friend too her a close one ....... That hurts thinking you made a friend but really they are nothing to you at all . Only thing that will help is time and se will move on a look back at this for what it is ."

Yes in her head, you said it yourself, the op doesn't need a dating site, the op needs a change in her mindset and to sort out some inner demons before looking to date

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe think about a dating site a good one .. And that's how you will get more them a shag maybe as they will be looking for the same thing as you .

I hate to burst your advice but dating sites are just like fab only sprinkled with a bit of dating dust lol...

In her head, exactly. She seemed to read far too much into it. I have a friend with benefits that I've done many similar things as she stated she did with him but know its just that, a friend with benefits. He was honest with her about not wanting a relationship from the start.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh dear that's hard especially if you like him. I'd be inclined to message back saying you are glad he's safe and sound with a kiss see how he responds. X

This but no kiss. he couldn't be arsed with a proper message to you "

he proberly read the book 'the game' while he was away and is now putting into practice a few PUA tricks to get the women chase him by playing hard to get..etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe think about a dating site a good one .. And that's how you will get more them a shag maybe as they will be looking for the same thing as you .

I hate to burst your advice but dating sites are just like fab only sprinkled with a bit of dating dust lol...

"
Yes I know people who have married from meeting on them too .. yes she do need to look at the bigger picture . she will drive herself nuts if she don't and keeps doing his to herself .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry typos.

agree. I really think OP that you need to take time out to think about what you really want and to sort your feelings out.

Not to mention in previous threads she's pointed out what regiment and where he's stationed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry typos.

agree. I really think OP that you need to take time out to think about what you really want and to sort your feelings out.

Not to mention in previous threads she's pointed out what regiment and where he's stationed. "

Oh really? Not very discreet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry typos.

agree. I really think OP that you need to take time out to think about what you really want and to sort your feelings out.

Not to mention in previous threads she's pointed out what regiment and where he's stationed. "

Exactly. I hate to think what his reaction would be if he found out he'd been discussed on a Swinging site he's not even a member of.

Some people seem to forget that these forums are public and anyone can read them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry typos.

agree. I really think OP that you need to take time out to think about what you really want and to sort your feelings out.

Not to mention in previous threads she's pointed out what regiment and where he's stationed.

Oh really? Not very discreet."

It's highly possible that I know him, that's how much info was given away! Thankfully that thread was removed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry typos.

agree. I really think OP that you need to take time out to think about what you really want and to sort your feelings out.

Not to mention in previous threads she's pointed out what regiment and where he's stationed.

Oh really? Not very discreet.

It's highly possible that I know him, that's how much info was given away! Thankfully that thread was removed."

So why bring it up then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe think about a dating site a good one .. And that's how you will get more them a shag maybe as they will be looking for the same thing as you .

I hate to burst your advice but dating sites are just like fab only sprinkled with a bit of dating dust lol...

Spot on CC

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would suggest you fill your life with things that take your mind off being lonely and wanting a man to complete you. The fairytale is nothing like reality. Enjoy being yourself,do things that make you happy and don't go looking for love. If a man does come into your life again be his friend and let things unfold naturally. Being a blanket on a man will suffocate him

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

counting down to 175

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"counting down to 175

lmao I was just thinking exactly the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

175!!!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"counting down to 175

lmao I was just thinking exactly the same"

all the best OP

hope you find what you seek in life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do you really want to be a booty call for him . sounds likw he is intrested in a shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do you really want to be a booty call for him . sounds likw he is intrested in a shag

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