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Has anyone lost their job because of swinging?

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By *tlovers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Warrington

I work in the public sector and am very very nervous about losing my career by being seen on here. Do you know of anyone who has lost their job cos of swinging?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not personally. My current and previous employment aware of my lifestyle etc.

It ain't illegal so they would be on a dodgy wicket if they tried to use it as a reason....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We remember that when we were in the forces in the 80's you could be dismissed for bringing the foraces in to disrepute however don't think you can loose your job over it unless you were using your works intenet to go on fabswingers.com etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It ain't illegal so they would be on a dodgy wicket if they tried to use it as a reason...."

I think thats the key factor and unless its specifically written into your contract a company would be advised not to sack someone by their legal advisor.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

You cannot be sacked for being here or meeting those from here for whatever you choose.

You can be sacked if you wear you uniform for pictures to entice people but having said that, most uniforms can be bought easily.

The sticking point would be if your bosses wanted to try, then you would have to defend yourself and that could be messy/embarrassing.

Love from another public sector worker.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It ain't illegal so they would be on a dodgy wicket if they tried to use it as a reason....

I think thats the key factor and unless its specifically written into your contract a company would be advised not to sack someone by their legal advisor. "

.

That's if your one of the lucky ones that actually have a permanent contract

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It ain't illegal so they would be on a dodgy wicket if they tried to use it as a reason...."

It depends on the job. Say, for example, a school head was outed publicly as a swinger. He/she would have brought the school into disrepute and made his/her position untenable. No tribunal would look kindly on him/her.

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By *oveSlutForUseCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

Two things to remember:

less than 2 years in a job, instant dismissal for ANY reason is legal (and they dont need to use the real reason)

Over 2 years and while they legally couldn't sack you for a lifestyle choice, you can bet that if it worries them, the legal team will come up with a solution to dismiss you anyway.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Anyone in education needs to be careful of the photos they display.

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By *tlovers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Warrington

That's what I mean really...If you work with children/vulnerable people. .If wouldn't go down very well. .just keep fretting about it!

Guess it's my gamble tho

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It is a risk if your organisation has a public profile and a contract about bringing the organisation into disrepute.

I am asked at interview whether there is anything that would affect the reputation of the organisation. I answer that I don't do anything illegal and I would be able to publicly defend whatever I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's what I mean really...If you work with children/vulnerable people. .If wouldn't go down very well. .just keep fretting about it!

Guess it's my gamble tho"

It really depends what you do.

When I used to work with children and vulnerable people as an outdoors instructor and sports teacher (basically youth work in disguise) everyone knew I had BDSM relationships, went to fetish clubs and had a couple of partners.

But then... so did half the other staff.

As long as we didn't talk to the children or the young people about our sex lives unless it was somehow relevant (i.e. be professional) then it didn't matter.

Your mileage may vary depending on workplace and post.

However if you did get threatened, I'd get the BDSM legal charities behind you (and possibly contact the guy who calls himself The Obscenity Lawyer). I had a company who threatened to sack me due to me being poly (someone in the sales office thought I was hitting on her husband in the warehouse and complained to HR) and I told them that if they dared ask me to leave due to the fact I am non-monogamous then they'd soon find themselves at the sharp end of an employment tribunal and trial by social media. Funnily enough they didn't follow the complaint up any further.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"That's what I mean really...If you work with children/vulnerable people. .If wouldn't go down very well. .just keep fretting about it!

Guess it's my gamble tho"

Yes it is. Ensuring that any photos are not identifiable as you so that you can maintain plausible deniability is a good start and I doubt anyone from the office would recognise you.

Teachers have lost their jobs due to internet activity, uploading photos of them undressed etc. but they have been easily recognised. I think with discretion

the risk is low.

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By *tlovers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Warrington

[Removed by poster at 19/12/14 09:30:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bet there is someone who has but I would also bet someone who has supported a football club has and other things. You just have to take chances from time to time in life I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And of course - if you do not agree with the policies that your workplace/industry aheres to, YOU can challenge them and help to make a difference to other people.

I made a vow that I would never be silent about my polyamorous relationships in any workplace. I talk about my partners in the same way that someone would talk about their monogamous partners. I reasoned that it might make life harder for me, but hopefully in my struggle I could make other peoples lives better - those who came after me.

Be the change you want to see - etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never lost my job but I walked out as I had a fine threw the post from over staying my 2hr limit at the motorway services car park. My gaffer who was a twat wanted me to leave the van at the yard so I told him to get fucked and walked. So yeah I did lose my job over it but she was worth it

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By *nne CallanWoman
over a year ago

Nothing to see here. Please move along.

A close friend of mine lost her position as a scout leader when she was outed as being a dogger. Even though there had never been an issue with her in any way in the previous 20 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I work in the public sector and am very very nervous about losing my career by being seen on here. Do you know of anyone who has lost their job cos of swinging? "

I wouldn't want to take that risk.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I work in the public sector and am very very nervous about losing my career by being seen on here. Do you know of anyone who has lost their job cos of swinging? "

I notice that you cam, do you keep your face out of the picture? They can be recorded.

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford


"Not personally. My current and previous employment aware of my lifestyle etc.

It ain't illegal so they would be on a dodgy wicket if they tried to use it as a reason...."

. Hardly worth taking the risk though or upsetting your employer. Where necessary most employers could find valid reasons to get rid of you. Discretion is crucial . Who would want to waste their money on legal fees fighting their employer . I did meet one couple who both worked at the same company and they both lost their jobs for bringing their company into disrepute . Her role was as a receptionist and customer facing . Sometimes you can be too open and honest .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know two people who lost their job because it came out they were swingers one was a female vicar, that's not a joke Google it, it even made the news and the other was a teacher

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford


"Two things to remember:

less than 2 years in a job, instant dismissal for ANY reason is legal (and they dont need to use the real reason)

Over 2 years and while they legally couldn't sack you for a lifestyle choice, you can bet that if it worries them, the legal team will come up with a solution to dismiss you anyway."

. A very good summary of the issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the contry this guy picking up more and more work because of it lol roll on new year to get cracking

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By *ratty_DamselWoman
over a year ago

Greater London


"Two things to remember:

less than 2 years in a job, instant dismissal for ANY reason is legal (and they dont need to use the real reason)

Over 2 years and while they legally couldn't sack you for a lifestyle choice, you can bet that if it worries them, the legal team will come up with a solution to dismiss you anyway."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Two things to remember:

less than 2 years in a job, instant dismissal for ANY reason is legal (and they dont need to use the real reason)

Over 2 years and while they legally couldn't sack you for a lifestyle choice, you can bet that if it worries them, the legal team will come up with a solution to dismiss you anyway."

of course they will

everyone where I work are on zero hour contracts and though I have never had a problem with my hours if they ever found out anyone was doing something they didn't like all they do is drop their hours to an unlivable wage and push them out that way and it's perfectly legal they have done it to a few of our staff

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By *exyLancs2Couple
over a year ago

Manchester


"It ain't illegal so they would be on a dodgy wicket if they tried to use it as a reason....

It depends on the job. Say, for example, a school head was outed publicly as a swinger. He/she would have brought the school into disrepute and made his/her position untenable. No tribunal would look kindly on him/her."

What if he/she was outed as gay and attended gay saunas?

When it comes to sexual preference, which swinging is, if you keep it separate from your work life you should be fine.

Doesn't stop people doing daft things. Think a Scottish cop was set up by the press up there and posted pics of himself in uniform to the bogus single female profile that the journalists had set up to snare him. Think he was given 'words of advice' and carried on in his career,

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By *exyLancs2Couple
over a year ago

Manchester


"I know two people who lost their job because it came out they were swingers one was a female vicar, that's not a joke Google it, it even made the news and the other was a teacher "

Not quite right, the female Vicar became a teacher and the Head said she was a good teacher and he was aware of her 'activities'. No issues there.

There was also a drink issue too. Ooops.

In fairness to the Church. You can see why they consider swinging to be incompatible with the 'values' they espouse but religion, like society generally, evolves and encompasses.

Homosexuality was illegal not that long ago and look how far we have come from since then. Gay rights are enshrined in law and swingers rights by the right to freedom of sexual expression under the human rights act.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I work in the public sector and am very very nervous about losing my career by being seen on here. Do you know of anyone who has lost their job cos of swinging? "

Like anything on the Web. ..Once you've posted it, it's there forever. If you truly think you can lose your jib, which may be the case then you really need to keep a low profile. The minute you advertise anything about yourself you draw attention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know two people who lost their job because it came out they were swingers one was a female vicar, that's not a joke Google it, it even made the news and the other was a teacher

Not quite right, the female Vicar became a teacher and the Head said she was a good teacher and he was aware of her 'activities'. No issues there.

There was also a drink issue too. Ooops.

In fairness to the Church. You can see why they consider swinging to be incompatible with the 'values' they espouse but religion, like society generally, evolves and encompasses.

Homosexuality was illegal not that long ago and look how far we have come from since then. Gay rights are enshrined in law and swingers rights by the right to freedom of sexual expression under the human rights act."

So which bit is not quite right? i didn't say what job she went onto do I said she lost her job as a vicar because she was outed as a swingers, which she did

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By *exyLancs2Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

Misread you there apology. Seems odd that one teacher was 'sacked' for being a swinger and yet the vicar under disciplinary proceedings managed to secure employment as a teacher when her 'hobby' was fully out in the open.

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

There was a tale of a guy who went dogging in his works van, got spotted by the cops and reported to his employer.

He was given a written warning.

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I work in the public sector and I do know that if it became public I'd be out of work pretty sharpish. My employers have a very strong clause re bringing the company into disrepute and have sacked people for stupid things on fb and both dismissals stood

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By *tlovers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Warrington

Ok..well that's freaked me out big time...I don't show my face on cam but even so...hmm..maybe time to withdraw

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By *exyLancs2Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

Just hang fire a moment. Don't panic.

Keep your face off the pictures and perhaps, if it worries you, don't go on cam.

Other than that keep your professional life away from your private life, don't disclose what you do and you'll be fine.

You have a right to a private life enshrined in law by virtue of the human rights act. Freedom of sexual expression.

Any intrusion into this by a 'public authority' has to be justified and to some significant degree. Swinging is legal, consensual and your business. It's not news anymore and even the gutter press have given it a rest. However, if a hi profile MP walks in expect the press to be outside.

As for the scare stories of someone who knows someone who's been 'sacked for swinging' they are just that, scare stories. Quite often there is more to it.

There are many, many professional people in the swinging world. Doctors, nurses, solicitors, teachers, soldiers (loads of them) and such like. They're not getting fired off every week are they.

If your face is all over the place then you'd be advised to be careful with that. Similarly, if your job has specific work clothing then keep that off it as well.

You'll be fine

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

There's a don't ask don't tell mentality about this in most organisations but, as someone said, bringing the organisation into disrepute will bring an unwelcome response and there's only too many jealous types ready to point the finger.

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By *tlovers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Warrington

Do you think any of you would recognise me in real life from my profile pictures?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Do you think any of you would recognise me in real life from my profile pictures? "

No. I have looked a couple of times and it wouldn't be possible.

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By *exyLancs2Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

The main problem with this is the term 'disrepute'.

From a dictionary point of the view it means being held in low esteem. Ask ten different people for examples, or opinions on examples and you'll get a huge spectrum of answers. Probably ten completely different ones.

For example, people of our parents generation think that being gay falls into this category. One younger family member has a male partner and this is being kept a secret from his grandmother because she would not get it at all because it's not 'natural' is it.

The low esteem test varies from person to person on the basis of life experience, or lack of it. Personal relationships, religious beliefs personal prejudices and so on.

Personal and private sexual preferences and the desire to see them fulfilled with like minded, consenting adults cannot fall foul of this test.

Examples of matters that do would be racist or homophobic outbursts on social media. D*unken and argumentative fooling around out of work. Getting into fights, drink driving and so on.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Do you think any of you would recognise me in real life from my profile pictures?

No. I have looked a couple of times and it wouldn't be possible.

"

If you want to he 100% sure crop your face out of the 9th November one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some very high and influential positions who swing, and I know that there are people within sensitive / public interest roles.

It's all about how you manage it, just don't dish out your face picture and be upfront and people may understand more than you suspect

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By *exyLancs2Couple
over a year ago

Manchester


"There are some very high and influential positions who swing, and I know that there are people within sensitive / public interest roles.

It's all about how you manage it, just don't dish out your face picture and be upfront and people may understand more than you suspect "

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"There are some very high and influential positions who swing, and I know that there are people within sensitive / public interest roles.

It's all about how you manage it, just don't dish out your face picture and be upfront and people may understand more than you suspect "

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By *ominantDogMan
over a year ago

Docklands, Exmoor, Manchester


"There are some very high and influential positions who swing, and I know that there are people within sensitive / public interest roles.

It's all about how you manage it, just don't dish out your face picture and be upfront nd people may understand more than you suspect "

wise words. I too know some very high profile people who swing. There is a balance to be found. Do not rub it in people's faces...but equally do not be ashamed of your interest. This ability to be comfortable within yourself without making others uncomfortable seems to work well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I work in the public sector and am very very nervous about losing my career by being seen on here. Do you know of anyone who has lost their job cos of swinging? "

I know exactly what you mean and totally understand where you're coming from. I would not like my employer to know I'm on here...regardless of whether they could "legally" do anything, it would just make my life very, very awkward. Its one of the reasons i think discretion should the default attitude for anyone swinging...

If you're careful about who you meet and/or share recognisable pics with, you will most likely be OK. And from looking at your profile pics (v nice BTW! ) I'd say it would be pretty much impossible for anyone to recognise you from them.

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