FabSwingers.com forum: nothing gets better

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So just going to go on a rant about how shit everything is...not looking for sympathy just nice to get it out somewhere impartial where no one knows me...I have a 5 month old son the only reason I must carry on tbh...after splitting with his mum I've moved into my mum's home if you could call her that ..working in a dead end job...hardly any friends as i dont realy no the area and things just seem to be getting worse...finances are appalling and just generally hate everyday life.. The worst part getting home from work and not being able to hold my son...not seeing his smile when I wake up in a morning. Hold on to the days when I have him to get through the days he's not their. His mum wants me back but the relationship was toxic (not violent) she was very possessive and paranoid...to the extent I couldnt watch hollyoaks as there were women she veiwed as being hot.....needless to say I won't be going back to her as it wasnt good for me, her or our son....I'm currently working 5/6 12hr days to ensure I can provide for my son and ensure his mum is also financialy secure....everything sometimes just gets too much and I constantly feel like exploding just wish sometimes their was an off button....I'm not saying theirs not people out their in worse positions and I'm not trying to look for sympathy just needed a vent

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By *Kgirl80Woman
over a year ago

South Coast

"So just going to go on a rant about how shit everything is...not looking for sympathy just nice to get it out somewhere impartial where no one knows me...I have a 5 month old son the only reason I must carry on tbh...after splitting with his mum I've moved into my mum's home if you could call her that ..working in a dead end job...hardly any friends as i dont realy no the area and things just seem to be getting worse...finances are appalling and just generally hate everyday life.. The worst part getting home from work and not being able to hold my son...not seeing his smile when I wake up in a morning. Hold on to the days when I have him to get through the days he's not their. His mum wants me back but the relationship was toxic (not violent) she was very possessive and paranoid...to the extent I couldnt watch hollyoaks as there were women she veiwed as being hot.....needless to say I won't be going back to her as it wasnt good for me, her or our son....I'm currently working 5/6 12hr days to ensure I can provide for my son and ensure his mum is also financialy secure....everything sometimes just gets too much and I constantly feel like exploding just wish sometimes their was an off button....I'm not saying theirs not people out their in worse positions and I'm not trying to look for sympathy just needed a vent "

It's always good to get stuff off your chest. Nobody's here to judge

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

cheers x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow x I couldn't have a baby at 22 x

It'll get better but it'll take time n effort.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wow x I couldn't have a baby at 22 x

It'll get better but it'll take time n effort. "

He wasn't planned....not that I regret him at all....the love I have for him is more than any type of love I've ever known...my ex partner had the implant when she fell pregnant we thought we were safe x

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Been there mate. Probably hard to see right now but it does get better. My son was 8 when me and his mum split hes now 25 and no longer my son hes my best mate

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

cheers bud....worst part is she holds all cards....keeps threatening to move miles away to her old man's....doing everything I can for it to remain amicable but I think we're going to end up dragging him through the courts

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Again probably hard to see but that might be for the best. Mine ex was constantly stopping access I took her to court it took ages but id done nothing wrong and the judge seen that thank god. He gave me what I wanted and that was that no more games

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It does get better. I was in almost exactly the same situation when I was 18 (my son's mum was older than me), now I am very close to my son and couldn't imagine life without him. But getting there takes time and you must find something to take your mind off things. For me, it was going off to uni and changing my environment-but you also need to have a goal to work towards that will take your mind off things-but a realistic goal. For me, it may sound humdrum, but I built a boat.

Please try not to worry. You will win out in the end. Don't lose heart and perservere! It will be worth it in the end, believe me.

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By *asmanian TigerMan
over a year ago

lala land

Keep your chin up mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry to read you are having a shit time at the moment. and completely understand your need to have a vent! You are right, everyone has rough times in life, some people more than others, but that doesn't make yours any less significant and its how you choose to get through it that shapes you as a person. A lot of people choose to bury their heads and hide until they think the storm has passed, or at least until someone comes to rescue them. It sounds like you are still fighting and doing what you can to get through it, you are working extra hours to provide for your son and spending every available moment you can with him, and one day when he's older he'll have so much respect for you doing that! In the meantime, just keep your chin up,,,,right now it seems like nothing ever gets easier, but eventually it will. Juicy x

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Chin up mate .. You can look at changing jobs ... You never know what's round the next corner

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm sorry to read you are having a shit time at the moment. and completely understand your need to have a vent! You are right, everyone has rough times in life, some people more than others, but that doesn't make yours any less significant and its how you choose to get through it that shapes you as a person. A lot of people choose to bury their heads and hide until they think the storm has passed, or at least until someone comes to rescue them. It sounds like you are still fighting and doing what you can to get through it, you are working extra hours to provide for your son and spending every available moment you can with him, and one day when he's older he'll have so much respect for you doing that! In the meantime, just keep your chin up,,,,right now it seems like nothing ever gets easier, but eventually it will. Juicy x"

that's all i want...without going into too much detail, my old man was never their, and I swear il never be like him... My son is my life and il never stop fighting I know this is just a slump we all get them from time to time....everyones comments have been realy supportive....like to thank everyone for the love x you've each made my day a little brighter x

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By *eMontresMan
over a year ago

Halesowen

I know what it's like. Mine were 4 and 9 when we split. My ex did everything in her power to restrict any access. I got very depressed to the point of thinking about suicide.

But I gave myself a good slap and resolved to make the best of it. You can't be the best you can be for your kids unless first you're the best you can be for yourself. So I improved my job situation, finances and mental state so that I could maximise the value of any time I had with them.

It was tough for a few years, and whilst the access situation did not improve greatly, I did.

The relationship with my eldest never recovered, but my youngest has been and still is very close.

I don't know what specifics will work for you, but I'd suggest working on your own circumstances so as to be in the best position to present a secure and cheerful countenance to your child.

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