FabSwingers.com forum: Defining Fetish and swinging.....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok dont shoot me down here as im a firm believer in each to their own etc, but where do we draw the line between fetish and swinging or are the two part of each other ??

To me swinging is adults enjoying consensual sex between each other at an agreed level. yet it seems that the fetish side of it is creeping in more and more with various posts about what i consider to be fetish ??

Personally pee play, stealing knickers of a neighbours line to shoot your load in, pegging and all the other bizarre named acts are all fetish stuff and dont play any part in our swinging lifestyle. Im quite open minded but jesus over the last little while i have been shocked at some comments / posts on things people want to do !

Should the rules be changed perhaps on Fab and not allow these sort of posts and keep it to swinging ??

Just an opinon and as i said each to their own but surely theres a limit ??

Jamie

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I thought a fetish was when someone could only and only be sexualised aroused by whatever their kink was. Sex is such a wide speculum of acts that swinging and kink and fetish are bound (haha) to overlap. There are limits and the site monitors what is said in the forums. Quite rightly so, too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I thought a fetish was when someone could only and only be sexualised aroused by whatever their kink was. Sex is such a wide speculum of acts that swinging and kink and fetish are bound (haha) to overlap. There are limits and the site monitors what is said in the forums. Quite rightly so, too. "

Yeh true, however i do think some posts need to be more strongly moderated perhaps ? Some of them actually really turn my stomach lol !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok dont shoot me down here as im a firm believer in each to their own etc, but where do we draw the line between fetish and swinging or are the two part of each other ??

Should the rules be changed perhaps on Fab and not allow these sort of posts and keep it to swinging ??

Just an opinon and as i said each to their own but surely theres a limit ??

Jamie"

Why should there be a line?

Nobody is forcing you to get involved with activities you don't like. It's all fun between consenting adults, just like swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what i consider to be fetish ??"

And this is a problem. What *you* consider to be fetish.

I don't consider stealing underwear to wank over fetish - it's theft. It might be someones fetish, but most people into kink wouldn't tolerate it.

And pegging is so mainstream it can hardly be described as weird. It almost seems more mainstream than swinging, when you consider it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"what i consider to be fetish ??

And this is a problem. What *you* consider to be fetish.

I don't consider stealing underwear to wank over fetish - it's theft. It might be someones fetish, but most people into kink wouldn't tolerate it.

And pegging is so mainstream it can hardly be described as weird. It almost seems more mainstream than swinging, when you consider it."

Fetish is not swinging and the majority of folks into fetish dont swing and dont agree with it. I also never said pegging was weird. And in my opinion is not anywhere near as mainstream as swinging.

All im saying is perhaps theres a line to be drawn between the two, if thats your kink go to a site that has other members into that, im just playing devils advocate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what i consider to be fetish ??

And this is a problem. What *you* consider to be fetish.

I don't consider stealing underwear to wank over fetish - it's theft. It might be someones fetish, but most people into kink wouldn't tolerate it.

And pegging is so mainstream it can hardly be described as weird. It almost seems more mainstream than swinging, when you consider it.

Fetish is not swinging and the majority of folks into fetish dont swing and dont agree with it. I also never said pegging was weird. And in my opinion is not anywhere near as mainstream as swinging.

All im saying is perhaps theres a line to be drawn between the two, if thats your kink go to a site that has other members into that, im just playing devils advocate. "

What about if you're looking for kinky swingers?

We do exist, you know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Define the "permitted" sexual acts swingers will be allowed to partake in. Swinging is just a word to define sex between people not in a relationship in my opinion. Since the term entered our vocabulary in the 60s the scene has changed drastically. Some swingers don't partner swap,so why do they call themselves swingers?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How would you draw the line?

How would you define the rules?

No I don't think that anything kinky should be kept off of fab, there are various levels of kink and many different fetishes on here!

Maybe just don't read any threads with anything fetish or kink in the title

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would make such a boring world if everyone was the same. Everyone has a kink, maybe you haven't found yours yet OP, oh wait you are on a swingers site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Since you appear to run a club night at Xtasia, I assume you'll also ask Xtasia to remove their dungeon.

After all, if fetish and swinging shouldn't happen in the same location, then we can't have swinging clubs having fetish furniture - can we?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have said nothing about removing all fetish or kink stuff , simply the more extreme of posts, and as I also said each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging is sex between consenting openminded adults isn't it.

Weather they add a bit of kink to it or not is the norm in my experience.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

My question would be, from who's values do you police this from?

I personally dislike anything that takes a persons choice away.

If I don't like something, I don't do/look at it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have said nothing about removing all fetish or kink stuff , simply the more extreme of posts, and as I also said each to their own.

Could you list all the activities that you'd like to ban?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Great typo Steve!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Great typo Steve!

opens up possibilities, donchathink?

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By *omewhat_kinkyCouple
over a year ago

reigate

Great typo Steve!

opens up possibilities, donchathink?

just shows where your mind is at

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have said nothing about removing all fetish or kink stuff , simply the more extreme of posts, and as I also said each to their own.

anything illegal is removed. What you may think is extreme others won't. My friend thinks anal sex is extreme and strap on with a man is down right perverse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My question would be, from who's values do you police this from?

I personally dislike anything that takes a persons choice away.

If I don't like something, I don't do/look at it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely swinging itself is a fetish. There's nothing vanilla about 4 people fucking each other/ swapping partners.

Last one out turn the light off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

waterports and s&m are allowed in your choices for your page, so i think the site has already decided what it's ok with on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not at all

i think swinging is a type of fetish, as some people love all the cum over them and thats not strictly swinging

i am in both scenes, i don't get judged about it and people accept it as i am me

but why shouldn't swinging and bdsm be on here?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok so having 24 hrs to think this over and also a conversation with a good friend, perhaps I have come across in the wrong manner.

The point I was trying to make is that I find what I consider to be non related swinging posts ( stealing knickers, incestual posts and other extreme illegal acts ) non condusive to Fab and the swinging lifestyle and was asking if this kind of material has a place in the community.

As stated in my first post, each to their own and I also know there is a kink/swinging crossover. At no point have I said these should be removed and have no judgement on people and their kinks.

As for asking Xtasia to remove their dungeon well that’s just a ridiculous comment and also that we run an event there bears no association to the thread.

If I did offend anyone then I apologise, I was simply attempting to state my opinion on something which is my right to do.

Hope that clarifies ?

Jamie

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Incest and illegal acts are moderated quickly - if it disturbs you, feel free to report to the admin, and they will check it.

I guess for some people the thought of swinging would turn their stomach, so its about being open and non-judgmental to what other folk enjoy.

If its not for you then don't read it. Its generally pretty obvious from the title or first post what its about. Free choice means you don't have to read anything you don't like.

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland

Swinging is a lifestyle not a fetish, but as for the many different acts and things people do/take part in, well thats each to there own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do sort of get your point Jamie , but I believe the posts you refer to are often taken down by the mods. Certainly the illegal activities ones are.

We are quite vanilla in our swinging activities and some threads definitely make us

or even

but we either pass those ones by or learn from them. Our muggle friends might think that Mrs P and myself are a little weird or kinky for what we get up to so I tend not to be that bothered by what other people do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I do sort of get your point Jamie , but I believe the posts you refer to are often taken down by the mods. Certainly the illegal activities ones are.

We are quite vanilla in our swinging activities and some threads definitely make us

or even

Cheers

And yes i know the majority are taken down and agree with you on some of the posts make me go

When you are browsing through the forums though it does make me wonder sometimes what the hell is that about ?? thats not swinging lol !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok so having 24 hrs to think this over and also a conversation with a good friend, perhaps I have come across in the wrong manner.

As stated in my first post, each to their own and I also know there is a kink/swinging crossover. At no point have I said these should be removed and have no judgement on people and their kinks.

As for asking Xtasia to remove their dungeon well that’s just a ridiculous comment and also that we run an event there bears no association to the thread.

If I did offend anyone then I apologise, I was simply attempting to state my opinion on something which is my right to do.

Hope that clarifies ?

Jamie

The problem is that much kink and fetish activity is illegal. It's illegal to leave anything more than a 'trifling and transient' mark for example. I did more than that to my partner when I bit his neck last night.

'Extreme illegal acts' have no place on *any* forum, it's got nothing to do with kink or swinging. But be careful when you use the terminology 'illegal', because some kink and fetish *is* illegal but that doesn't mean it's wrong.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok so having 24 hrs to think this over and also a conversation with a good friend, perhaps I have come across in the wrong manner.

As stated in my first post, each to their own and I also know there is a kink/swinging crossover. At no point have I said these should be removed and have no judgement on people and their kinks.

As for asking Xtasia to remove their dungeon well that’s just a ridiculous comment and also that we run an event there bears no association to the thread.

If I did offend anyone then I apologise, I was simply attempting to state my opinion on something which is my right to do.

Hope that clarifies ?

Jamie

Sorry but thats a complete contradiction in terms unless im missing something ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm ....

What is 'pegging'?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Erm ....

What is 'pegging'?

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=pegging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to say in dealing with some of the points raised I am not making any personal criticism.

I think there is no line between kink and swinging, there is merely preference.

In the vanilla world swinging is kinky. To some people attending clubs to swing is kinky.

If swinging is defined as as sex between MF couples only what about threesomes, or those who like to wear latex, pvc or leather, or even biswinging couples or even our good friends the doggers, greedy girls and TVs and cross dressers.

I would suggest there are only three rules, respect, personal preference and informed consent.

I would also quibble on using illegality as a criteria without considering the acts involved. Homosexuality was illegal and people were prosecuted for it and in some countries people are still discriminated against. Also if people take recreational drugs whilst swinging that is illegal. Also as Flikky pointed any bruising, marking or breaking of skin even if consensented to is illegal.

People who like dogging are harrassed by the police.

Sbould we not just avoid what we dont like and let others get on with their thing provided they act in along the lines that I have mentioned?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do sort of get your point Jamie , but I believe the posts you refer to are often taken down by the mods. Certainly the illegal activities ones are.

We are quite vanilla in our swinging activities and some threads definitely make us

or even

Cheers

And yes i know the majority are taken down and agree with you on some of the posts make me go

When you are browsing through the forums though it does make me wonder sometimes what the hell is that about ?? thats not swinging lol !!

Then what is swinging? Serious question about your thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Swinging is a lifestyle not a fetish, but as for the many different acts and things people do/take part in, well thats each to there own."

It's only a 'lifestyle' for people that want it to be. It's certainly not mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

original question was where to draw the line between fetish+ swinging.

Imagination seems to be the big difference.

sure, the odd pvc/rope effort here - but mainly just bump + grinders

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland

"original question was where to draw the line between fetish+ swinging.

Imagination seems to be the big difference.

sure, the odd pvc/rope effort here - but mainly just bump + grinders"

There is no line, swinging isnot a fetish, you can be into many fetishs and not a swinger, or you can be a swinger that is also into fetishs, they are seperate things, swinging is a lifestyle, a fetish is not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will try anything just as long as it DOESN'T involve Scat or Piss.

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