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Sexuality - a monologue

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By *jeibm2012 OP   Man
over a year ago

manchester nr piccadilly

So I was pondering in the shower recently (I often do!) and my thoughts turned to sexuality. Now I'm not a fan of labels, and that's partly because I don't feel a great affinity with any of them. I list myself as bi, but that's just because it's the best fit. In truth I'm variable; some days I like girls more, other days it's guys. And I prefer the idea of a relationship with a girl - I like the yin/yang of male-female couplings. But mischief with a sexy guy also floats my boat…

Now, some people are categorically straight or gay, and in a sense I'm envious because that would be more straightforward. But I've come to see sexuality as more of a spectrum from straight to gay, and while some people are rooted at one end or the other, I think plenty of people exist anywhere in between, and also that it's not uncommon for people to move along that spectrum during their life - or even during a day...

I do also wonder if anyone is 100% straight or 100% gay. Controversial I know, but here's my thinking:

to be a 100% straight guy (for example) implies no man is in any way attractive. Therefore, if you ranked all the people in the world in terms of their attractiveness/sex appeal, ALL the women would come before the men. Even the most horrendous woman you personally can imagine, exhibiting all your turn-offs to the nth degree, is a more attractive proposition - either for a relationship or just for sex - than a guy who, apart from his gender, is ideal for you physically and personality-wise.

I know I couldn't say that. And I don't mean to directly challenge others on the label they prefer to use, I just wanted to make the argument available for discussion. I find people attractive regardless of gender, and have come to accept that I prefer to base my choice of partners - for sex or relationships - on personality and lifestyle choices rather than gender/sexuality.

Thoughts anyone? Please be sensible and polite even if you have counter-arguments to make

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I'm of the Captain Scarlet school of thought. Spectrum is Green. F.A.B.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your point on attractive men being more appealing than ugly women leaves out one critical point. The women have vaginas and that is where I like to put my penis.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

The logic about lining up all the people in the world is flawed. It's more a case of sorting them into groups. Those that you would like to have some sexual experience with and those that you wouldn't. If all the people in the first group are the opposite gender from you then you're straight.

But I agree with you general premise that sexuality is a spectrum (and one that varies with time and circumstances).

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By *jeibm2012 OP   Man
over a year ago

manchester nr piccadilly


"Your point on attractive men being more appealing than ugly women leaves out one critical point. The women have vaginas and that is where I like to put my penis. "

So you're saying you'd rather have sex and/or a relationship with the foulest woman you can imagine over the most ideal male?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your point on attractive men being more appealing than ugly women leaves out one critical point. The women have vaginas and that is where I like to put my penis.

So you're saying you'd rather have sex and/or a relationship with the foulest woman you can imagine over the most ideal male?"

All day long.

I would never consider sex or a relationship with a man. I would rather do without.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"Your point on attractive men being more appealing than ugly women leaves out one critical point. The women have vaginas and that is where I like to put my penis.

So you're saying you'd rather have sex and/or a relationship with the foulest woman you can imagine over the most ideal male?

All day long.

I would never consider sex or a

relationship with a man. I would rather

do without. "

It's people like me that keep the Mr Polks of this site strictly on the straight

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By *jeibm2012 OP   Man
over a year ago

manchester nr piccadilly


"The logic about lining up all the people in the world is flawed."

I put it forward as a logical consequence of saying that you are 100% straight. 100% straight implies that there is no scenario in which someone of the same sex is more preferable than someone of the opposite sex. I think it's an interesting hypothetical scenario then to consider the finest possible same-sex partner vs the worst opposite-sex partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" All day long.

I would never consider sex or a relationship with a man. I would rather do without. "

^^ this.

I can see your points OP, and I can fully appreciate when people find a man attractive, and can see why in some cases, but that doesn't mean I would have a relationship with that man.

So am I fully straight? Yes. I'd say I am. Right?

I am right?

Shit.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Your point on attractive men being more appealing than ugly women leaves out one critical point. The women have vaginas and that is where I like to put my penis.

So you're saying you'd rather have sex and/or a relationship with the foulest woman you can imagine over the most ideal male?

All day long.

I would never consider sex or a relationship with a man. I would rather do without. "

And I would go without before having sex with someone I found repulsive or a woman, I don't need 'sex at all cost' - so the logic of the question is a bit flawed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The logic about lining up all the people in the world is flawed.

I put it forward as a logical consequence of saying that you are 100% straight. 100% straight implies that there is no scenario in which someone of the same sex is more preferable than someone of the opposite sex. I think it's an interesting hypothetical scenario then to consider the finest possible same-sex partner vs the worst opposite-sex partner."

But your not taking into consideration the anatomy of the male and female. A male has a cock. What on earth am I meant to do with that. Although I wouldn't have sex with the most foulest female you could imagine , I wouldn't have sex with any man no matter how ideal you deemed him to be.

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By *jeibm2012 OP   Man
over a year ago

manchester nr piccadilly


"All day long.

I would never consider sex or a relationship with a man. I would rather do without. "

Some people who think of themselves as straight give a little ground when I make this argument thanks for sharing your thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your point on attractive men being more appealing than ugly women leaves out one critical point. The women have vaginas and that is where I like to put my penis.

So you're saying you'd rather have sex and/or a relationship with the foulest woman you can imagine over the most ideal male?

All day long.

I would never consider sex or a

relationship with a man. I would rather

do without.

It's people like me that keep the Mr Polks of this site strictly on the straight "

You're not so bad Stevie baby.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Although I'm straight I can appreciate that some men are more attractive than others. I might even conceded that they could be more attractive than some ugly women. But that doesn't mean I'd want to sleep with them. So putting them in a line is irrelevant.

It's set theory you need to apply.

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By *jeibm2012 OP   Man
over a year ago

manchester nr piccadilly


"And I would go without before having sex with someone I found repulsive or a woman, I don't need 'sex at all cost' - so the logic of the question is a bit flawed."

'Sex at all cost' is not part of the argument. I'm simply asking people who consider themselves straight to consider a hypothetical situation: worst-case opposite sex partner vs ideal-case same-sex partner. Some people still plump for the opposite sex, some say they'd go without, and some acknowledge that a grey area exists for them.

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By *ranthamThroatMan
over a year ago

Grantham.

I get some messages though, not on here, from "straight" guys who say they are in no way into men but they like cock.

Each to their own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your point on attractive men being more appealing than ugly women leaves out one critical point. The women have vaginas and that is where I like to put my penis. "

But....... what if the bloke had a plastio-vagina and was really really nice looking and didn't tell you he'd been born a bloke. Just saying.......

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By *jeibm2012 OP   Man
over a year ago

manchester nr piccadilly


"So putting them in a line is irrelevant."

It's irrelevant in the sense that is a hypothetical scenario, sure. I'm contending that if somebody accepts that some people of the same sex are a more acceptable proposition than some people of the opposite sex, then they are maybe 99% straight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your point on attractive men being more appealing than ugly women leaves out one critical point. The women have vaginas and that is where I like to put my penis.

But....... what if the bloke had a plastio-vagina and was really really nice looking and didn't tell you he'd been born a bloke. Just saying......."

If my aunt had bollocks she'd be my uncle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a man called mr ball and he said "love? love changes everything!"....and you know what ? "NOTHING IN THE WORLD HAS EVER BEEN .... THE......SAME !"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder what 20 years in a desert island would do to some people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wonder what 20 years in a desert island would do to some people."

I have never craved sex, I have gone through many lean periods. Twenty years isolation wouldn't make me change my sexuality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the look of a juicy fillet steak and enjoy eating them.

But just because I eat meat and recognise the look of juicy tender meat doesn't mean I'd eat human meat because I'm not a cannibal.

My example is probably not a good one, but it is an attempt to make the point that I can be of the opinion that another man is handsome without that meaning there is any link to my sexual desire. Society has determined the standards of prettiness, an acceptance of that doesnt require an accompanying sexual desire. That's easy for me to understand, maybe partly because I am not gay.

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By *jeibm2012 OP   Man
over a year ago

manchester nr piccadilly


"Society has determined the standards of prettiness, an acceptance of that doesnt require an accompanying sexual desire. That's easy for me to understand, maybe partly because I am not gay."

I agree that there is a large cultural aspect to what is considered 'good-looking'. I also agree that one can see that someone meets those criteria without there being any sexual desire.

My argument is that being 100% straight implies that all people of the opposite sex are a more attractive proposition for sex or a relationship than anybody of the same sex.

And that if you find some people of the same sex more appealing than some members of the opposite sex, you are moving along the spectrum to some extent.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

My argument is that being 100% straight implies that all people of the opposite sex are a more attractive proposition for sex or a relationship than anybody of the same sex.

"

No it doesn't, because at the bottom end you are talking about repulsion, not attraction. Yes, there are some utterly repulsive men around, like 'Sir Les Patterson' for instance, but that does not make the prospect of a woman any more attractive to me, or more likely to happen, it just means it's a different kind of repulsion!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don't understand why some people struggle with the fact that many (myself included) are simply not sexually attracted whatsoever to those of the same sex - regardless of how horny we may feel at times.

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By *jeibm2012 OP   Man
over a year ago

manchester nr piccadilly


"

No it doesn't, because at the bottom end you are talking about repulsion, not attraction. Yes, there are some utterly repulsive men around, like 'Sir Les Patterson' for instance, but that does not make the prospect of a woman any more attractive to me, or more likely to happen, it just means it's a different kind of repulsion!"

I'm not asking about likelihood - it's a hypothetical scenario. If you're saying that you wouldn't find any woman more attractive than the most repulsive man, then that's fine. I would consider that a good definition of 100% straight. If you would consider some women more attractive than the most repulsive man, then my thought is that you move along the spectrum, however slightly. 99.9%, 98%, etc

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By *jeibm2012 OP   Man
over a year ago

manchester nr piccadilly


"I really don't understand why some people struggle with the fact that many (myself included) are simply not sexually attracted whatsoever to those of the same sex - regardless of how horny we may feel at times."

At no point have I suggested that I don't understand that. I believe some people are 100% straight and some are 100% gay. I also believe that people exist everywhere in between. I have also found that some people would consider themselves e.g. 'straight' but when I put this scenario to them they acknowledge that there is in fact a grey area for them.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

Men smell funny and have a penis

As said above my sexuality is based upon who arouses me and I like girl pheromones x

Although I may be able to appreciate the good looks of a male they have zero sexual draw even on a very horny day x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I really don't understand why some people struggle with the fact that many (myself included) are simply not sexually attracted whatsoever to those of the same sex - regardless of how horny we may feel at times.

At no point have I suggested that I don't understand that. I believe some people are 100% straight and some are 100% gay. I also believe that people exist everywhere in between. I have also found that some people would consider themselves e.g. 'straight' but when I put this scenario to them they acknowledge that there is in fact a grey area for them."

I am sexually attracted to women, I would only ever form relationships with women. My bisexuality only comes about in that I like to have sex with men, as it feels physically good, and its usually a very different sexual experience. Its possibly one of the reasons that I don't really enjoy kissing men, as I see kissing as having a more than purely sexual motivation.

But I'm bi where it counts.

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By *jeibm2012 OP   Man
over a year ago

manchester nr piccadilly

Some interesting thoughts and stances… anyone else?

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