FabSwingers.com forum: Door step religion

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Im getting rather peed off with the amount of doorstep religious spouters im gonna stick a big notice on me door saying...No thanks to morons..i mean mormons and jojos .

They comming in big numbers now

I hate bieng rude to anyone but....If i keep getting interupted while peeling me carrots on a sunday im gonna explode.

If i want it...i will go get it. but i dont

end of rant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

explain that your not interested but the person/couple in number.....(add a neighbour you dont like) is very interested in what they have to say. watch thm scoot off at 100 miles an hour to their door.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree with you we have the mormon clan around the corner and they do my head in. I am open to all religion so I went with them and checked their church out. First of all I got told that my children were going to hell because they was not christened next we had to go to bible class where the tutor decided to take the piss out the spiritual church. I got on my high horse and had a rant in the whole class that they should'nt knock other peoples believes/religion and got kicked out that was a fun sunday afternoon.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I reckon i must look like i need saving from all the debauchery in me life....

I wish........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i just tell them...soz but im a

spiritualist that makes then go away lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Totally agree with you we have the mormon clan around the corner and they do my head in. I am open to all religion so I went with them and checked their church out. First of all I got told that my children were going to hell because they was not christened next we had to go to bible class where the tutor decided to take the piss out the spiritual church. I got on my high horse and had a rant in the whole class that they should'nt knock other peoples believes/religion and got kicked out that was a fun sunday afternoon."

Which just about sums up any organised religion. They're all nicey-nicey to get you to join but once you down to the nitty gritty of it they turn into a bunch of wankers who condemn you if you don't change to they way they want you to live.

The Taliban are like that, which is why we kicked them out, and fighting to make sure they don't come back. Imagine what it would be like if a mainstream religion ever gained real power here. hmmm

When I get to heaven the first thing I'll say to god is, "Oi you! Out my feckin chair pal!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live in the middle of nowhere, have only had one set knock on my door, Jehovah Witnesses. They left more baffled than they arrived. I subjected them to a lot of research related to faith, it's origins, it's links to healing patients in hospital through prayer etc. They said they had not heard of this research and would go and look into it and come back for a more in depth discussion. That was a year ago, guess I outwitted them, woo hoo

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

15 years ive lived in this house and never had one yet. If i lived in an area where they knocked frequently id put a sign up to stop them knocking hardly rocket science

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By *ertngladCouple
over a year ago

thornton -cleveleys

I usually let them rabbit on for 10 to 15 minutes then tell them i've got to go give blood now and shut the door.

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By *ertngladCouple
over a year ago

thornton -cleveleys

I usually let them rabbit on for 10 to 15 minutes then tell them i've got to go give blood now and shut the door.

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

"i just tell them...soz but im a

spiritualist that makes then go away lol xx"

Tell em to ''fuck off!''...that makes them go away too..

Emotional cripples the lot of em!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I normally invite them up to the heath at midnight where me and a group of chums get nekid and dance around a big fire. They usually wish me well and move off rather sharpish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a positive note, I did have one approach years ago that I felt was ok. A couple of elderly neighbours whom we had already spoke to since recently moving.

She approached me we a leaflet about Jehovah Witnesses. She said that since finding this religion, it had brought her and her husband a lot of joy which they would like to share with others. She left the leaflet and said if I had any questions, just pop in for a chat. We lived there for over 10 years and became good friends. They never once mentioned their religion again. Thought that was an acceptable approach personally.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

the life of brian,explains religion.in simple terms,and its funny.

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By *ixson-BallsMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

why knock some people cos they have beliefs and thoughts different to ours...alot of people think swingers are not the norm,and can't get their heads around that but we don't expect them to start spouting off that we're the scourge of society....religion is alot of comfort to many people, if they knock on your door,a polite no thanks will do ( and it does work as we get a few religous fraternity knocking on our doors)....when you get those phone calls from cold callers do you tell them to fuck off??...jeez what an intolerant society we're becoming.....

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

i was at a friends once when the jehovas turned up,he sat down,offered them a glass of wine and then started skinning up.They never bothered him again.!

Seriuosly though,these people are just trying to share their belief,a simple i am not interested deters them.What a sad world it would be if we all thought the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why knock some people cos they have beliefs and thoughts different to ours...alot of people think swingers are not the norm,and can't get their heads around that but we don't expect them to start spouting off that we're the scourge of society....religion is alot of comfort to many people, if they knock on your door,a polite no thanks will do ( and it does work as we get a few religous fraternity knocking on our doors)....when you get those phone calls from cold callers do you tell them to fuck off??...jeez what an intolerant society we're becoming.....

Thank you!!!

Well said: it's good to know that some people recognise that other people have "alternative" lifestyles too!

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By *etitesaraTV/TS
over a year ago

rochdale

Thank you!!!

Well said: it's good to know that some people recognise that other people have "alternative" lifestyles too!

I think the difference is that we don't tend to go knocking on the doors of complete strangers telling them how our lives have been changed for the better since we took up a life of hedonism!

Religion can be a wonderful thing, bringing peace, acceptance and emotional security.

Religious followers on the other hand....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's fine saying that other religions, and the people who follow them, should be allowed to live in peace and free from ridicule but when they are knocking at your door trying to convert you it would be appropraite for them to say what their rules actually are:

For example:

When approached by Mormons, how many people here have been told from the outset that the Mormon faith has the following rules:

Modesty)

Girls: No short skirts, short shorts, tight-fitting clothing or shirts that don’t cover the shoulders or stomach, or that are low-cut in the front or back.

Guys: Though usually not an issue for guys, they are also encouraged to maintain modesty in their appearance.

No tattoos or body piercings. One piercing per ear for girls to wear a modest set of earrings is permitted.

Sex)

Absolutely NEVER before marriage.

Well that's us bolloxed then isn't it.

Tithing)

The Mormon Church 'encourages' it's members to 'donate' 10% of their wealth/income to the church. An additional money spinner for them is 'fast offerings' whereby Mormons fast for two meals per month and pass the money saved to the Church.

Additional Laws)

No: swearing, profanity, smoking, tea or coffee, or alcohol of any description for any purpose.

They don't tell you all that at the door, do they?

...and the Jehovah's Witness' Rules are even more draconian. Too many to list here but they NEVER tell you this at the front door.

So, live and let live, sure, but respect my right to have a fag, a beer, a fuck and a coffee afterwards, and I'll respect your right to live a totally boring life.

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

I use a line from a comedians show when one turns up..

"Can I tell you about Jesus.."

To which the reply is..

"ohh .. what's he gone and done now..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just tell them, "Thank God I'm an Atheist"

Paddy xx

"Im getting rather peed off with the amount of doorstep religious spouters im gonna stick a big notice on me door saying...No thanks to morons..i mean mormons and jojos .

They comming in big numbers now

I hate bieng rude to anyone but....If i keep getting interupted while peeling me carrots on a sunday im gonna explode.

If i want it...i will go get it. but i dont

end of rant.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"why knock some people cos they have beliefs and thoughts different to ours..

..jeez what an intolerant society we're becoming.....

Rant coming...look away if you're squeamish...

I don't knock the thoughts and beliefs of others.

But by knocking on my door and trying push *their* beliefs on to *me*, they are disrespecting whatever beliefs I already hold...they're knocking on my door to say "our religion is better than your religion".

That's pretty intolerant of *them* in my view.

So they get the door shut in their faces.

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

"when you get those phone calls from cold callers do you tell them to fuck off??...jeez what an intolerant society we're becoming.....

Yes I do actually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you!!!

Well said: it's good to know that some people recognise that other people have "alternative" lifestyles too!

I think the difference is that we don't tend to go knocking on the doors of complete strangers telling them how our lives have been changed for the better since we took up a life of hedonism!

Religion can be a wonderful thing, bringing peace, acceptance and emotional security.

Religious followers on the other hand...."

No...they post threads no married people, no singles, no people with loads of verifications...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when you get those phone calls from cold callers do you tell them to fuck off??...jeez what an intolerant society we're becoming.....

Yes I do actually."

Me too lol

The annoying thing is im on the telephone preference list (so it cuts 95% of cold calls from the uk out)

However it don't stop the ones with Asian accents from abroad trying ta convince me that their name is Dave,Chris or Carl ffs xx

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"why knock some people cos they have beliefs and thoughts different to ours..

..jeez what an intolerant society we're becoming.....

Rant coming...look away if you're squeamish...

I don't knock the thoughts and beliefs of others.

That's pretty intolerant of *them* in my view.

So they get the door shut in their faces.

Thats my view too,I don't go round peoples houses trying to get them to have sex with gorgeous strangers..............well not during the week anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's fine saying that other religions, and the people who follow them, should be allowed to live in peace and free from ridicule but when they are knocking at your door trying to convert you it would be appropraite for them to say what their rules actually are:

For example:

When approached by Mormons, how many people here have been told from the outset that the Mormon faith has the following rules:

Modesty)

Girls: No short skirts, short shorts, tight-fitting clothing or shirts that don’t cover the shoulders or stomach, or that are low-cut in the front or back.

Guys: Though usually not an issue for guys, they are also encouraged to maintain modesty in their appearance.

No tattoos or body piercings. One piercing per ear for girls to wear a modest set of earrings is permitted.

Sex)

Absolutely NEVER before marriage.

Well that's us bolloxed then isn't it.

Tithing)

Additional Laws)

No: swearing, profanity, smoking, tea or coffee, or alcohol of any description for any purpose.

They don't tell you all that at the door, do they?

...and the Jehovah's Witness' Rules are even more draconian. Too many to list here but they NEVER tell you this at the front door.

So, live and let live, sure, but respect my right to have a fag, a beer, a fuck and a coffee afterwards, and I'll respect your right to live a totally boring life.

Agree totally wishy

they must think some need saving and the others are a lost cause

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

Coincedentally, they called here this morning

A bloke said ''ho you like to be a witness for jehohah?''...I said..''sorry mate I didnt see the accident!''

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

been waiting 40 years for the hookers for jesus to call round and try and convert me. not seen the others for years either, long may it stay like that.

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

Just tell em you can have 4 wives any weekend without the expense, soon gets em off the doorstep lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I generally answer the door with my goat's head mask on, smeared in blood and with ladies' underwear on.

They tend not to stick around to see if I can be saved from Lucifer!

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

"I generally answer the door with my goat's head mask on, smeared in blood and with ladies' underwear on.

They tend not to stick around to see if I can be saved from Lucifer!

they are obviuosly not as committed to the cause as they pretend pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always found the Mormons very polite. I tell them that I have my own beliefs and they have always left with, "Thank you, sorry to have troubled you" or words to that effect.

The Jehovas can be a bit more pushy if you let them, but again, if you're firm with them, they will leave.

Whoever it is, they are selling what they believe in so I don't see any need to be rude to them.

Live and let live, treat others as you would expect to be treated yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get a lot round here

i usually just say to them, i dont knock on your door and tell you what to believe in so please dont do it to mine

close door, carry on with your carrots lol

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By *horacleCouple
over a year ago

Harwich

I find the best way to get rid of them is to invite them in for a chat and a cup of tea.

As soon as they set foot in my front room and cop an eyeful of my altar they dont wanna stay no more.....................personally I think its rude!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I want a doorbell that when its pressed sounds like someone in the throws of passion ....

All religious like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i don't think the concept of religeon is bad. Like fruit there are some ppl who want to take advantage. Who are not sincere. Basically christians just want to understand life just as much as you or i. Not everybody is blessed with skills needed to interact - even some proffessional ppl fail here.

Put it another way: You have a fund raising group and one of it's members begins to steal money from it.

Do u

a. Shut the group down

b. Try and help the man

c. or get someone new in

Basically quite a few ppl judge everyone by one persons standards. A bit like time wasters on here who cause problems for alot of the decent folk on here.

If i had a visit i would either say i'm not interested or let them in and treat them in a caring manner much like a tutor giving extra lessons to someone who is having difficulties without being to patronizing to them. Everyone is human. We all fall short of being perfect...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you notice though,it's only these Johnny come lately Yankee religions who are after your money that are on the knock!

XXXX

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By *oDownEasyMan
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I quite wish they would knock here.Where I used to live they started coming round(usualy at the most inconvenient times!) and I would invite them in, and then proceed to point out the utter stupidity of their beliefs(Im not knocking those of faith on here mind,but you arent knocking on my door telling me what to think!) Although if some of the ladies here want to come knocking LOL

Thats coz I am a serious atheist,I make Richard Dawkins look like the pope

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i don't think the concept of religeon is bad. Like fruit there are some ppl who want to take advantage. Who are not sincere. Basically christians just want to understand life just as much as you or i. Not everybody is blessed with skills needed to interact - even some proffessional ppl fail here.

Put it another way: You have a fund raising group and one of it's members begins to steal money from it.

Do u

a. Shut the group down

b. Try and help the man

c. or get someone new in

Basically quite a few ppl judge everyone by one persons standards. A bit like time wasters on here who cause problems for alot of the decent folk on here.

That may be so but.........

I dont go knocking on their doors telling them about the merits of swinging now do i.....

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

I answer the door, tell them I'm not interested, but they can talk to my wife if they like......

Soon sends them running!!

Mrs Madchick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I quite wish they would knock here.Where I used to live they started coming round(usualy at the most inconvenient times!) and I would invite them in, and then proceed to point out the utter stupidity of their beliefs(Im not knocking those of faith on here mind,but you arent knocking on my door telling me what to think!) Although if some of the ladies here want to come knocking LOL

Thats coz I am a serious atheist,I make Richard Dawkins look like the pope

good ole dawkins

lets all mock him

by singing some hymns

with the lights turned dim

seriously though. being a serious athiest do u believe in justice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put it another way: You have a fund raising group and one of it's members begins to steal money from it.

Do u

a. Shut the group down

b. Try and help the man

c. or get someone new in

Basically quite a few ppl judge everyone by one persons standards. A bit like time wasters on here who cause problems for alot of the decent folk on here.

That may be so but.........

I dont go knocking on their doors telling them about the merits of swinging now do i.....

"
maybe you should, be an interesting sunday afternoon out if nothing else

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lmao

yerrrrr it would too.

so what we need is about 6 peeps all done up in their sunday best and carry a copy of summat intersting...

We find out where the buggers live and go get them....

who is up for it. ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you got that i aint then as ive not had any for a year

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I reckon i look like i need saving........

from hell and damnnation and swinging

Orrrrrrrrrrr

The american fella fancies a bit

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

Id like to find out where they live..go round, knock on their door and say ''fancy becoming an athiest?''...''how abuout you stand there while I bore the fucking arse off of you for half an hour..lets ee how you like it''

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

[Removed by poster at 14/08/10 21:57:35]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I reckon i look like i need saving........

from hell and damnnation and swinging

Orrrrrrrrrrr

The american fella fancies a bit

Does that mean I do not need saving as I never get offered the opportunity to be saved?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

or could be your written off as dammed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I made the mistake of chatting to a Jehovas Witness couple on the doorstep last October (the builders were in and being on the doorstep guaranteed a few minutes peace). Heavily pregnant at the time, they seem considerate, concerned and a pair on genuine people - oh, how my judgement deceived me!

Since that day, i have had weekly door knocks, magazines left and personal notes, they even worked out my approx due date from the fact i was 7 months pregnant at the time, so come January all the 'happy baby' messages started coming. I have constantly ignored their knocking yet still they persist. I even put an 'I give blood' sticker in the window which i know their religion is against, yet still the knocking hasnt stopped.

Whilst i have never been rude or ignorant to their beliefs i am struggling to cope with their persistance!!! Whilst I was initially open to a simple chat, one would hope my reluctance to induldge in further doorstep banter would have detered them - not a chance!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

CLASSIC

That's the best forum post I've read.

I'm still laughing here.

Paddy xx

"Coincedentally, they called here this morning

A bloke said ''ho you like to be a witness for jehohah?''...I said..''sorry mate I didnt see the accident!''"

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By *lassic1Man
over a year ago

bellshill

"I made the mistake of chatting to a Jehovas Witness couple on the doorstep last October (the builders were in and being on the doorstep guaranteed a few minutes peace). Heavily pregnant at the time, they seem considerate, concerned and a pair on genuine people - oh, how my judgement deceived me!

Shit !! I posted a joke about the Jehova's a few weeks ago ( ...applying to bill gates re getting job cleaning windows.....)

It was closed immediately ??????

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By *r n mrs swingCouple
over a year ago

pontefract

i open the door then shout jason its for you and we laugh at how long they wait

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have not problem with people being religious. I have my owns set of beliefs. I just dont want people knocking on my door. And I cant stand cold callers ringing me either. I am quite capable of going out looking for the things I need if I need them and going to my own church when I want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking of religion, my first wife and I divorced because of religious differences.

I thought I was God and she didn't!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Speaking of religion, my first wife and I divorced because of religious differences.

I thought I was God and she didn't!

;-)

Now there is a genuine interpretation of whether there is one or not (a god that is)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im getting rather peed off with the amount of doorstep religious spouters im gonna stick a big notice on me door saying...No thanks to morons..i mean mormons and jojos .

They comming in big numbers now

I hate bieng rude to anyone but....If i keep getting interupted while peeling me carrots on a sunday im gonna explode.

If i want it...i will go get it. but i dont

end of rant.

Just tell them no thanks and you find it an intimidating them calling on you. It works for my nan.

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By *oDownEasyMan
over a year ago

Ayrshire

seriously though. being a serious athiest do u believe in justice?

I do indeed,why should I not? Although I feel religion has little to do with justice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i just dont answer the door??

my friends all walk in its only debt collectors , sherrifs officers and religious nutcases and salesmen that ever knock so i know not to answer it!!!

my dearly departed granny used to live for them coming to the door whether it was mormons or jehovas or whatever she loved the debate and making them squirm and passed the time of day for her usually when she announced that she was gypsy origin and catholic they left!! x

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Religious canvassers at the door? Easy.

"Dinosaurs".

*close door*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big Bang?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

If Jesus died for my sins i.e he KNEW i was going to commit them, it would be a shame for it to have been for nothing.

Bisexual MMF anyone?

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