FabSwingers.com forum: Were a Swinger get me in there

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

prepare yourselves guys, this is going to be the rant of all rants...

We are a honest , genuine, couple.. Which im sure you have all read a million times.. But we actually are..

We would just like to give a truley honest account of our experiences on here..

Before we start ranting we are not for one minute about to slag off Fabswingers or any other site..

All you are about to read is true and genuine...

We are happy married mid fortys couple who like most of you spoke about our fantasies to each other a million times. Ours being we would like to involve other people in our sex lives, nothing abnormal there...

We honestly didnt know how to achieve this so like every normal person we googled.

Up popped a million sites and we chose adult friendfinder, which cost us a small fortune. We didnt have a problem with that as we thought this would eliminate alot of weirdos and time wasters..

Lol how wrong we were... We found the site easy to use but full of time wasters and wannabes, understandable we guessed being the nature of what we were looking for.

After six months of searching through the weirdos. we finally found a couple that were serious and arranged a meet... Unfortunatly when we met we found that the lady was uncomfortable with the situation and obviously seemed to being bullied into the the unfortunate position she found herself to be in... We obviously worked this out in seconds and like any genuine people got the lady in question to safety and made sure she was ok.. So as our first experience of the swinging world, understandably this put some what of a downer of it all..

After this we came away from this site and found Fab, which at first glance we found to be more user friendly than the previous site..

We decided on advertising to meet a couple, which we found extremly hard to find...my wife started to talk to a single guy who came across as a realy nice person.. Not what we had agreed that we were looking for but as you will agree things change.. We disscussed us meeting a single guy for our first experience and agreed it was something thag we both wanted to experience... So we met him in a pub for a social, and sll was good.. We explained that it was only ever going to be a social and nothing else which he was fine with.., after this meet the guy became very full on and constantly bombarding the wife wife with messages and text asking when we were going to meet and play... This made my wife extremly uneasy and uncomfortable so we decided to delete our membership..

About 4 months went by and we were always disscussing how we felt and what happened, and we both decided that we wernt going to let some weirdo put us off trying to experience the life of swinging. We set up another profile , which is the one were using now and tried again so to speak..

The problem we have with sites like this is, yes were new, yes were not super models, yes were not ready for clubs yet... But other than that, yes we are totally genuine and want to experience what this all offers, but alot of people seem to forget that they were new once also...

Yes its hard, we totally understand that, it is a numbers game and like anything in life , you will only get out of it what you put in.., but please, for god sakes Fab, vet people more who apply to this site.. Were getting single guys who are acting as couples and all sorts.. There are some nice and genuine people on here but its like 20 % good to 80 % bad... This is not good and spoiling it for the genuine people on here...

We dont know the numbers for the amount of swingers in this country or any other but we would imagine its alot higher than people think... So please from buisness man to another, you have a great site that is being spoilt by idiots that are not being vetted, sort it out, make your millions, but last of all, provide us all with a swinginging site that is full of genuine and real normal people...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *couser83Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

There are idiots every were you go/look. You must remember as I've been told the admins are not getting paid to do this. Also if the site wanted to make millions it would be full of ads and pay to message. I know how you feel and I know it can be frustrating but fab is a really good site, don't let your experience be just the idiots on here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We agree, and like we said Fab is a great site, but as our experience of this site goes, we personally would be happy to pay that bit extra if it became a more realistic site..

What we were trying to say is yes, Fab as got a great format to the site but what it needs is a bit better vetting, and if that costs members more then so be it..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

OK, you've obviously had some experience of swinger sites, but what you have to remember is with these sites is that they are tools. They enable you to get into a lifestyle. They have various features that YOU should be using to ensure your experience here is to your liking. They are not going to vet every member, every message sent to you. That's your responsibility.

You have filters and profile choices you can make to prevent people you are not looking for from contacting you. Hell, you could always block people from messaging you and look for yourselves.

Compared to some sites Fab is basic, but that makes the choices easier to make - you choose who you want to meet. You ask for phone numbers. You speak to the couple to make sure they are a couple. You swap pics. You are the ones in charge of who you meet. Fab is a website, not a babysitting and handholding service. Who you meet is up to you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't personally have a problem we do group socials, forum socials and individual socials to get to know people we vet people ourselves and are more than capable of doing so.

At a club you can do as much or as little as you want, you say your not ready for a club... Well we find them less pressured than a meet at a couples or our house

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's your job to vet potential meets not fabs or any other website. If your consistently having problems then it's your selection process that's at fault and not the sites.

Spoken from both a single males point of view and a couples.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We appreciate you stating the obvious, it is a tool for peoples needs.. What were saying is, Fab is good, not a problem with what they do, were suggesting they make it a bit easier, and if that means charging a bit more for the service then were sure that the genuine people wouldnt mind that., if it meant they hadnt got to put up with people saying there someone there not, which im sure you must have experienced in the past .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"We appreciate you stating the obvious, it is a tool for peoples needs.. What were saying is, Fab is good, not a problem with what they do, were suggesting they make it a bit easier, and if that means charging a bit more for the service then were sure that the genuine people wouldnt mind that., if it meant they hadnt got to put up with people saying there someone there not, which im sure you must have experienced in the past . "

You found out yourself that a site that charges people a fortune still didn't prevent you from having problems. How would increasing a voluntary fee on here help you get people interested in you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Search engines may draw you to Fab

your curious adventure to grab

there are those who surf by

without wonder or why

and those without freedom to dab.

One click and you enter it's web

drawn in by desires flow and eb

but maneuver is tricky

cause Fabs web is sticky

respectfully gentily tread.

Fabs world has it's own pure dynamic

hierarchy and class are indemic

it shapes it's whole being

some find it so freeing

but others frustrating instead.

Whether single married or both

whether female male or both

there's a place for you here

with your baggage and fear

but your place is determined by both.

For some it will all lead to rants

others become sycophant.

But many stay true and remain of the view

that you can't take the 'ter' out of 'bant'.

For here men attack men

as they compete in the forumite den

to entice and win favour

of a women to savour

then discard as an overplucked hen.

Some say men Market their wives

and the power enhances their lives

but wifes powers are greater

and sooner or later

she takes up the honour and drives.

To women your ego will boost

like drinking a citrus filled jooste

but your grasp on reality

may become a casualty

and one day may return home to roost.

There are some who just sit back and snipe

there are some with a genuine gripe

there are some who won't waiver

some with tragic behavior

and some with no thought before type.

For some it is sadly judgemental

can deliver a pain just like dental

but lest we forget

it's a portal at best

because people will always be people.

But deep at Fabs core and it's centre

there is beauty and freindship and mentor

there's the salt of the Earth

there's the value and worth

we are grateful to it's great inventor!

(Fab is what you make it, it's not for everyone).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It says the word " if "

We dont pretend to know how these sites work, its a suggestion..

Look, we are not the enemy, we want a great site like everyone else, we dint care how it comes about, read the full post and not just the last paragraph

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"It says the word " if "

We dont pretend to know how these sites work, its a suggestion..

Look, we are not the enemy, we want a great site like everyone else, we dint care how it comes about, read the full post and not just the last paragraph"

I read the whole post. You have valid points, but you have to take some responsibility yourselves sometimes. Use the site features, be discriminating, and make this site work for you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

PS You don't say 'if' anywhere in your post.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

If you don't want to meet single guys then use the filters the site provides. A little icon will display on your profile and then single guys will be blocked from sending winks and mail to you. They'll still be able to look at your profile though.

I don't agree with the increased fee, as i was a paying member on AFF myself some years before i joined here, lots of fakes and timewasters on there despite the increased fee for premiuim membership.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

"We don't personally have a problem we do group socials, forum socials and individual socials to get to know people we vet people ourselves and are more than capable of doing so.

At a club you can do as much or as little as you want, you say your not ready for a club... Well we find them less pressured than a meet at a couples or our house "

totaly agree

plus once you go to clubs the doors soon open , meet friends of friends and you are invited to private parties etc ... Is a big o world out there and Fab site is just a tiny bit of it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

"Search engines may draw you to Fab

your curious adventure to grab

there are those who surf by

without wonder or why

and those without freedom to dab.

One click and you enter it's web

drawn in by desires flow and eb

but maneuver is tricky

cause Fabs web is sticky

respectfully gentily tread.

Fabs world has it's own pure dynamic

hierarchy and class are indemic

it shapes it's whole being

some find it so freeing

but others frustrating instead.

Whether single married or both

whether female male or both

there's a place for you here

with your baggage and fear

but your place is determined by both.

For some it will all lead to rants

others become sycophant.

But many stay true and remain of the view

that you can't take the 'ter' out of 'bant'.

For here men attack men

as they compete in the forumite den

to entice and win favour

of a women to savour

then discard as an overplucked hen.

Some say men Market their wives

and the power enhances their lives

but wifes powers are greater

and sooner or later

she takes up the honour and drives.

To women your ego will boost

like drinking a citrus filled jooste

but your grasp on reality

may become a casualty

and one day may return home to roost.

There are some who just sit back and snipe

there are some with a genuine gripe

there are some who won't waiver

some with tragic behavior

and some with no thought before type.

For some it is sadly judgemental

can deliver a pain just like dental

but lest we forget

it's a portal at best

because people will always be people.

But deep at Fabs core and it's centre

there is beauty and freindship and mentor

there's the salt of the Earth

there's the value and worth

we are grateful to it's great inventor!

(Fab is what you make it, it's not for everyone)."
wow! Hidden talents there! Very good

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The word " if " appears in the reply to you, which goes to show that your just reading the bits that get you irate, common human practice to do... And you respond to whichever bit of the post that riles you, please take in all of it... We are far from slagging the site off, we have said, the sites format is good, the carging extra bit is a suggestion, were not saying its the answer.. What we are saying is genuine people on here are getting hacked off with the fakes, and dont tell us you havnt heard that on here.. What were saying is to the people who run site, please take a look at this problem. And if you think were wrong to say this then your just as bad.. We like you want a site that is bullshit free, granted you cant get rid of it all, and were sure there doing their best, but for us, it requires more..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thats a personal choice and we respect that, but thats not the point of the post

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We do vet people thats a given... What were saying is we think Fab could do alot more..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We don't personally have a problem we do group socials, forum socials and individual socials to get to know people we vet people ourselves and are more than capable of doing so.

At a club you can do as much or as little as you want, you say your not ready for a club... Well we find them less pressured than a meet at a couples or our house

totaly agree

plus once you go to clubs the doors soon open , meet friends of friends and you are invited to private parties etc ... Is a big o world out there and Fab site is just a tiny bit of it

Totally with you there, I've said it many times in the past.

Internet swinging is a tiny part of the scene and in some respects the most frustrating, all that sitting and waiting for something to happen and if you have to wait too long then it can cause errors in judgement.

Clubs and private parties are where you can get it all over and done with without the waiting.

Fab is a brilliant site and works really well as long as you use all the tools that are on offer, I've had 3 profiles on here over 7 or so years now and although my partner and I are stepping away from the internet part of the scene if we decide to return it will be to fab.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

O.p. your saying the site needs improving others don't agree it's as simple as that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So your saying.. That us getting messages as a first contact constantly with wording such as......

" can i come and fuck you "

" show us your tits "

" come and sit on my face "

And you think thats good ???

We rest our case

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"So your saying.. That us getting messages as a first contact constantly with wording such as......

" can i come and fuck you "

" show us your tits "

" come and sit on my face "

And you think thats good ???

We rest our case "

What can site admin realistically do about that though? If you don't like that sort of message block the sender and then delete the emails.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"So your saying.. That us getting messages as a first contact constantly with wording such as......

" can i come and fuck you "

" show us your tits "

" come and sit on my face "

And you think thats good ???

We rest our case "

Ok, I get them as well, and it doesn't matter how much is being charged, how/what on earth do you propose fab does to prevent them? You can't! So the best gift you have on here is common sense! Quite simple really and as a single female you would think it would be easy but guess what? it's not!

Can I expect Fab to only pick people I am attracted to?

Unfortunately that is something I have to do myself......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You saying " if you dont like the sound iof that message " sounds like you think its ok to send them..

Were not here to suggest how they stop it, were here as you are as a member, and we are saying that if they can fund a way of getting rid of these idiots then the site would be better for it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Appreciate what your saying Foxy,

We havnt a clue how you stop it, we just like others were sure, would like something done..as this would make the site better

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Appreciate what your saying Foxy,

We havnt a clue how you stop it, we just like others were sure, would like something done..as this would make the site better "

Of course it would....but you will never eradicate the idiots of the world, so as they say suck it up lollipop, and do I like it? Hell No! Is there anything I can do apart from having all my filters in place which I do have? Nope! I just 'ignore the dross' You will never stop it, regardless what anyone can do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"O.p. your saying the site needs improving others don't agree it's as simple as that."

I think the site is great. You will always get time wasters and idiots just like you do in real life.

OP you've already said that AFF cost you a small fortune and that it was full of fakes and time wasters, which means they have money too! All you'd achieve by asking a high membership fee is eliminate the genuine members as well. I pay the site fee through choice as it's £5 well spend and it helps Admin in a small way. If the site was to charge a high membership fee, I'd leave.

There are tools in place to help you as much as possible on here. Fab can only do so much. You have to take responsibility for your own actions and choices. In all the years I've been on here I've never had my time wasted by anyone and I've never had a no show. I've had a last minute cancellation once but as I'd not left the house, it was still not wasting my time.

If it aint broke, don't fix it I say. There are many many people on here who think Fab is fine that way it is

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and

Blackspice!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *not69Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

"We don't personally have a problem we do group socials, forum socials and individual socials to get to know people we vet people ourselves and are more than capable of doing so.

At a club you can do as much or as little as you want, you say your not ready for a club... Well we find them less pressured than a meet at a couples or our house

totaly agree

plus once you go to clubs the doors soon open , meet friends of friends and you are invited to private parties etc ... Is a big o world out there and Fab site is just a tiny bit of it

Agree with this. I just use fab to keep in touch with people I meet in clubs. I have met people straight off here but the vast majority of people I've have met I've met in clubs and quite a few I've met through other people. Fab is a great tool for keeping in touch and finding out what events are happening in the clubs. The social side of going to a club is great and if you get to play is a bonus and you know the people there are genuine and less likely to be tidewaters.

block messages from single guys in your filters and you'll stop a lot of the "fancy a fuck?" type messages.

I suppose the only thing Fab could do is to provide a filter that will block first contact messages with less than a pre determined number of characters

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

The volume of users is useful as the variety and competition works well. Competition amongst guys, for example, helps them improve their game and influences poor behaviour to be discouraged and users who have it to not have beneficial results.

For the op, it sounds like you'd benefit knowing others socially, as you're new. Look for users who play but would only have social intentions with you. It would improve your learning curve and stop you being outsiders.

Lots of great users, it just needs some wise management of your approach.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread