FabSwingers.com forum: Another day, another...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

...job to do...

The new decking needs two coats of oil on it but the weather looks like it's closing in so that'll have to wait...

...and the back room needs sorting because Siren's little gym area is now covered in tools I've used putting the aforementioned decking down..

...or the kitchen needs painting, nah, sod that, hate painting..

...littleun's pile of clothing needs ironing, that'll take an hour max and get me loads of brownie points and a BJ later (that one always works)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

better get a move on then if you want that BJ

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"better get a move on then if you want that BJ

Plenty of time, she don't get home till 5.30. I'll do a quick sprint round the house at 5pm to build up a sweat and make it look like I've been slaving away all day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

haha hope it works, I've found that after doing all the buiding work in our house, that what ever the time is you think it will take, double it then add another hour and that will be closer to the actual time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"haha hope it works, I've found that after doing all the buiding work in our house, that what ever the time is you think it will take, double it then add another hour and that will be closer to the actual time

Hell yeah, I totally understand that. The bloody decking was a nightmare because we have a dwarf wall between the grass area and the patio - that wasn't built straight or level and it's no mean feat to screw batons into it that has to take 4.8mtr lengths of deckboard - that doesn't like being forced to curve lol

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By *uton_coupleCouple
over a year ago

luton

let me think what i would do

it looks like you have to do the ironing ...........so

get that done , but leave the iron out so when she returns you can warn her about it being hot and to be carefull not to burn herself , this will emphasise and exagerate the work done

it seems difficult to avoid the task of tidying up the tools , but you can do this while she is getting the dinner sorted ( dont forget to get something out of the freezer) and remind her it will save time if she gets a bath while its cooking

perhaps the old trick of having a yellow duster tucked into the back of your belt thats been ( forgoten ) about

and of course having the hoover to hand in case the phone rings in the middle of the day ( hang on let me turn this fecking thing off i cant hear you )

it makes you wonder sometimes if its worth all this fecking around just to save the few quid that an au pair costs

im sure i could fill her day with a properly calculated multitasking work roster

and the missus could put her feet up and watch coronation street , without rushing to sort you out with the BJ

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"let me think what i would do

it looks like you have to do the ironing ...........so"

That's a doddle as she doesn't like anyone ironing her clothes but her. I iron mine as and when I need them, and littleun's, well, he only a foot and a half tall so his clothes can be done in one pass lol

% chance of a BJ: 60%

get that done , but leave the iron out so when she returns you can warn her about it being hot and to be carefull not to burn herself , this will emphasise and exagerate the work done"

Noooo... she's one of these house proud people with OCD. If the ironing board is left out when it's finished with, it does her nut in.

No BJ.

I do most of the cooking anyway so I'll have it ready for 5.30. The deal is whoever cooks, the other baths littleun. She gets that job while I tidy away the kitchen, have a smoke outside in the garden with a nice cool beer. I ain't stupid.

% chance of a BJ: 75%

perhaps the old trick of having a yellow duster tucked into the back of your belt thats been ( forgoten ) about

She'd see through that as she knows I don't even know where they are kept and have no idea what a bottle? can? spray? of glass cleaner? wood polish? looks like. No BJ.

and of course having the hoover to hand in case the phone rings in the middle of the day ( hang on let me turn this fecking thing off i cant hear you )

This one is a sure fire winner as she hates hoovering with a passion. We only have carpets up the stairs and in all the upstairs rooms, the rest is wooden flooring downstairs and a quick shuffle round with the long-headed cleaner's type broom makes short work of that.

% chance of a BJ: 90%

it makes you wonder sometimes if its worth all this fecking around just to save the few quid that an au pair costs

im sure i could fill her day with a properly calculated multitasking work roster

and the missus could put her feet up and watch coronation street , without rushing to sort you out with the BJ

Wassamatta? Dun you like having ya dick sucked then??? If I mention 'au pair' - two words that together would be fatal to my sex life - she automatically thinks of nubile 18y/o blonde haired, blue eyed, Swedish nymphettes.

% chance of a BJ: Never, ever fookin again!!

The best time to nail her is 6am, just before little legs decides to invade us leaving zero chance of some hanky panky. That, or 9pm, just after she's had her bath and as long as America's Next Top fookin Model isn't on, which if it is will take her up to 10pm and then bed.

Bloody kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

% chance of a BJ: Never, ever fookin again!! "

i can concur that they're not all like that!

had one, six months can sure drag when they're eating a weeks worth of shopping in one sitting..then asking what's for dinner!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But that's my dilemma, you see. If we're interviewing potential au pairs then I'd automatically gravitate towards the pretty 18y/o blonde, swedish nymphette ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But that's my dilemma, you see. If we're interviewing potential au pairs then I'd automatically gravitate towards the pretty 18y/o blonde, swedish nymphette ones.

don't go by the profile pic then...it's not only on dating sites they're doctored or dated!!

i keep seeing profiles for stunning looking male au pairs and am totally tempted, then i have that "wow he could be a modelllllllwait a minute" moments.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There are male au pairs? How quaint lol

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By *atureFem4FunWoman
over a year ago

Petts Wood

"There are male au pairs? How quaint lol

Or as they are known in your house Wishy.......House Husband

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are male au pairs? How quaint lol

didn't you know? it's the new 'must have' accessory for the single mother....that and a BMW X5

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"There are male au pairs? How quaint lol

didn't you know? it's the new 'must have' accessory for the single mother....that and a BMW X5 "

Ohhhhhh one of my fuck buddies has just bought a bmw x5 told him i didnt like it and i call it the flat pack car lol

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