FabSwingers.com forum: The Perfect Profile for a Single Guy

By *onestjohn1962 OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

HOW MANY MORE TIMES - WILL YOU WOMEN READ THE PROFILE???? FFS !!!

Only slim, good looking girls within my age range.

MUST have pics of face, tits, arse and fanny.

MUST be completely devoid of hair below the eyebrows.

If you don't have any veris I will block you

If you have hundreds of veris I will block you

If you are out of my age range I will block you

If your name starts with an A I will block you

MUST BE ABLE TO ACCOMMODATE - during the daytime, evenings and weekends

MUST be able to meet at the drop of a hat for a quickie during my lunch hour

I expect you to pay your half of the bill if we eat out anytime.

I don't want constant emails but if you don't reply to mine within an hour then I will block you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There it is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have seen many a singoe fem profile like that lol only more CAPS lock action.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blocked everyone in this thread...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/11/14 23:29:01]

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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago

London / Herts

I must admit, I've seen profiles that are almost as militant as that. I understand that the girls get badgered by guys a LOT, but I thought this site was supposed to be funnnnnn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and yet we still get MORE MESSAGES THAN WE CAN POSSIBLY HANDLE!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"HOW MANY MORE TIMES - WILL YOU WOMEN READ THE PROFILE???? FFS !!!

Only slim, good looking girls within my age range.

MUST have pics of face, tits, arse and fanny.

MUST be completely devoid of hair below the eyebrows.

If you don't have any veris I will block you

If you have hundreds of veris I will block you

If you are out of my age range I will block you

If your name starts with an A I will block you

MUST BE ABLE TO ACCOMMODATE - during the daytime, evenings and weekends

MUST be able to meet at the drop of a hat for a quickie during my lunch hour

I expect you to pay your half of the bill if we eat out anytime.

I don't want constant emails but if you don't reply to mine within an hour then I will block you.

I've a feeling you'll get tons of high quality meets off this profile

particularly from ladies with no eyelashes

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By *onestjohn1962 OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"HOW MANY MORE TIMES - WILL YOU WOMEN READ THE PROFILE???? FFS !!!

Only slim, good looking girls within my age range.

MUST have pics of face, tits, arse and fanny.

MUST be completely devoid of hair below the eyebrows.

If you don't have any veris I will block you

If you have hundreds of veris I will block you

If you are out of my age range I will block you

If your name starts with an A I will block you

MUST BE ABLE TO ACCOMMODATE - during the daytime, evenings and weekends

MUST be able to meet at the drop of a hat for a quickie during my lunch hour

I expect you to pay your half of the bill if we eat out anytime.

I don't want constant emails but if you don't reply to mine within an hour then I will block you.

I've a feeling you'll get tons of high quality meets off this profile

particularly from ladies with no eyelashes

You should have known that I am not the most intelligent guy on the site, but hey if ladies with no eyelashes want to form an orderly queue ........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"HOW MANY MORE TIMES - WILL YOU WOMEN READ THE PROFILE???? FFS !!!

Only slim, good looking girls within my age range.

MUST have pics of face, tits, arse and fanny.

MUST be completely devoid of hair below the eyebrows.

If you don't have any veris I will block you

If you have hundreds of veris I will block you

If you are out of my age range I will block you

If your name starts with an A I will block you

MUST BE ABLE TO ACCOMMODATE - during the daytime, evenings and weekends

MUST be able to meet at the drop of a hat for a quickie during my lunch hour

I expect you to pay your half of the bill if we eat out anytime.

I don't want constant emails but if you don't reply to mine within an hour then I will block you.

You just may have found the winning formula

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol that's the most funniest profile I heard especially I like the line:

"MUST be able to meet at the drop of a hat for a quickie during my lunch hour"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about Sydney University? Don't they get a mention?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What an absolute moron. With an attitude like that im surprised anyone meets him. Surely no one would be that desperate! ?! It's not even like this guy has a body of a god. Average joe at best. Clearly he needs to get off his high horse!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Made me chuckle. You just need to add that if you don't use the word 'supercalifrigilitcexpialidocious' in you reply you'll be blocked too

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By *onestjohn1962 OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"What about Sydney University? Don't they get a mention?"

Oh Bugger, yes I missed that one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What an absolute moron. With an attitude like that im surprised anyone meets him. Surely no one would be that desperate! ?! It's not even like this guy has a body of a god. Average joe at best. Clearly he needs to get off his high horse! "

it's a joke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sense of humour failure me thinks.

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By *onestjohn1962 OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

[Removed by poster at 30/11/14 23:50:21]

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By *onestjohn1962 OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

OUCH !

Average Joe ???

Actually you know I could live with that

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You should add that you may or may not do social meets, but she should drop by Starbucks, if you fancy a coffee. Also, she can bring a mate or two, if she needs to socialise, the more you can fuck the better and she'll have friends where they can all marvel at your shag technique, after they've done their bi warm up, to get you in the mood.

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By *onestjohn1962 OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"You should add that you may or may not do social meets, but she should drop by Starbucks, if you fancy a coffee. Also, she can bring a mate or two, if she needs to socialise, the more you can fuck the better and she'll have friends where they can all marvel at your shag technique, after they've done their bi warm up, to get you in the mood."

Quality. Thanks I will edit the profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

he is taking the piddle

ive lost half an eyebrow does that give me any edge - or just more weird

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By *onestjohn1962 OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

he is taking the piddle

ive lost half an eyebrow does that give me any edge - or just more weird

Trust me, if you were stood in front of me naked I would not be checking out your eyebrows !!

Lovely pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

he is taking the piddle

ive lost half an eyebrow does that give me any edge - or just more weird

Trust me, if you were stood in front of me naked I would not be checking out your eyebrows !!

Lovely pics

hahah thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm - can you not see he was being humerous? And perhaps poking fun at single fem profiles who can be remarkably similar to this? Xx

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By *onestjohn1962 OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

Erm - can you not see he was being humerous? And perhaps poking fun at single fem profiles who can be remarkably similar to this? Xx"

So you didn't mean it when you said I was average ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This response is funnier than the original OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This response is funnier than the original OP

I think she was joking too.

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By *ecretly seductiveWoman
over a year ago

Palookaville

"HOW MANY MORE TIMES - WILL YOU WOMEN READ THE PROFILE???? FFS !!!

Only slim, good looking girls within my age range.

MUST have pics of face, tits, arse and fanny.

MUST be completely devoid of hair below the eyebrows.

If you don't have any veris I will block you

If you have hundreds of veris I will block you

If you are out of my age range I will block you

If your name starts with an A I will block you

MUST BE ABLE TO ACCOMMODATE - during the daytime, evenings and weekends

MUST be able to meet at the drop of a hat for a quickie during my lunch hour

I expect you to pay your half of the bill if we eat out anytime.

I don't want constant emails but if you don't reply to mine within an hour then I will block you.

ooh think you may have messaged me before lol...

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By *asmanian TigerMan
over a year ago

lala land

[Removed by poster at 01/12/14 01:55:14]

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By *asmanian TigerMan
over a year ago

lala land

OUCH !

Average Joe ???

Actually you know I could live with that

Well done mate you made me laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's me out then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have seen many a singoe fem profile like that lol only more CAPS lock action."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Irony at its best!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your name starts with an A I will block you.

That's my favourite line.

You forgot that you have to type the word "peaches" in the title of your message to prove you've read the profile!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Her"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

People are so entertaining especially when they don't realise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People are so entertaining especially when they don't realise

I know !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very funny op

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By *rysandMadsCouple
over a year ago

Barnstaple

No mention of "If I don't get a meet today by 5pm I'm leaving this site because it's full of fakes and timewasters"

Great thread :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think she's realised the error of her ways and is slowly moving towards the exit. Classic part pooper comment which backfired hilariously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"HOW MANY MORE TIMES - WILL YOU WOMEN READ THE PROFILE???? FFS !!!

Only slim, good looking girls within my age range.

MUST have pics of face, tits, arse and fanny.

MUST be completely devoid of hair below the eyebrows.

If you don't have any veris I will block you

If you have hundreds of veris I will block you

If you are out of my age range I will block you

If your name starts with an A I will block you

MUST BE ABLE TO ACCOMMODATE - during the daytime, evenings and weekends

MUST be able to meet at the drop of a hat for a quickie during my lunch hour

I expect you to pay your half of the bill if we eat out anytime.

I don't want constant emails but if you don't reply to mine within an hour then I will block you.

I've a feeling you'll get tons of high quality meets off this profile

particularly from ladies with no eyelashes

You should have known that I am not the most intelligent guy on the site, but hey if ladies with no eyelashes want to form an orderly queue ........

Are hairless women bashing your back door in?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure what the definition of Ironic is..but is it something like that^^^^

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"HOW MANY MORE TIMES - WILL YOU WOMEN READ THE PROFILE???? FFS !!!

Only slim, good looking girls within my age range.

MUST have pics of face, tits, arse and fanny.

MUST be completely devoid of hair below the eyebrows.

If you don't have any veris I will block you

If you have hundreds of veris I will block you

If you are out of my age range I will block you

If your name starts with an A I will block you

MUST BE ABLE TO ACCOMMODATE - during the daytime, evenings and weekends

MUST be able to meet at the drop of a hat for a quickie during my lunch hour

I expect you to pay your half of the bill if we eat out anytime.

I don't want constant emails but if you don't reply to mine within an hour then I will block you.

Actually, I did read the profile, which is why I didn't message you

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"HOW MANY MORE TIMES - WILL YOU WOMEN READ THE PROFILE???? FFS !!!

Only slim, good looking girls within my age range.

MUST have pics of face, tits, arse and fanny.

MUST be completely devoid of hair below the eyebrows.

If you don't have any veris I will block you

If you have hundreds of veris I will block you

If you are out of my age range I will block you

If your name starts with an A I will block you

MUST BE ABLE TO ACCOMMODATE - during the daytime, evenings and weekends

MUST be able to meet at the drop of a hat for a quickie during my lunch hour

I expect you to pay your half of the bill if we eat out anytime.

I don't want constant emails but if you don't reply to mine within an hour then I will block you.

Actually, I did read the profile, which is why I didn't message you

I bet he's devastated lol.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"HOW MANY MORE TIMES - WILL YOU WOMEN READ THE PROFILE???? FFS !!!

Only slim, good looking girls within my age range.

MUST have pics of face, tits, arse and fanny.

MUST be completely devoid of hair below the eyebrows.

If you don't have any veris I will block you

If you have hundreds of veris I will block you

If you are out of my age range I will block you

If your name starts with an A I will block you

MUST BE ABLE TO ACCOMMODATE - during the daytime, evenings and weekends

MUST be able to meet at the drop of a hat for a quickie during my lunch hour

I expect you to pay your half of the bill if we eat out anytime.

I don't want constant emails but if you don't reply to mine within an hour then I will block you.

Actually, I did read the profile, which is why I didn't message you

I bet he's devastated lol.

Meow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"HOW MANY MORE TIMES - WILL YOU WOMEN READ THE PROFILE???? FFS !!!

Only slim, good looking girls within my age range.

MUST have pics of face, tits, arse and fanny.

MUST be completely devoid of hair below the eyebrows.

If you don't have any veris I will block you

If you have hundreds of veris I will block you

If you are out of my age range I will block you

If your name starts with an A I will block you

MUST BE ABLE TO ACCOMMODATE - during the daytime, evenings and weekends

MUST be able to meet at the drop of a hat for a quickie during my lunch hour

I expect you to pay your half of the bill if we eat out anytime.

I don't want constant emails but if you don't reply to mine within an hour then I will block you.

haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Copied and pasted quality

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By *ouseCarlMan
over a year ago

Walton on Thames

I love this thread...made me laugh all the way.

May I copy and paste too !?

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By *onestjohn1962 OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I love this thread...made me laugh all the way.

May I copy and paste too !?

Please feel free !!!! But my inbox has not been crashing due to too many mails !!

Maybe I am doing something wrong ???

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By *tmmCouple
over a year ago

harlow

Creased up!!!!

I'll just block myself shall I? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"HOW MANY MORE TIMES - WILL YOU WOMEN READ THE PROFILE???? FFS !!!

Only slim, good looking girls within my age range.

MUST have pics of face, tits, arse and fanny.

MUST be completely devoid of hair below the eyebrows.

If you don't have any veris I will block you

If you have hundreds of veris I will block you

If you are out of my age range I will block you

If your name starts with an A I will block you

MUST BE ABLE TO ACCOMMODATE - during the daytime, evenings and weekends

MUST be able to meet at the drop of a hat for a quickie during my lunch hour

I expect you to pay your half of the bill if we eat out anytime.

I don't want constant emails but if you don't reply to mine within an hour then I will block you.

Actually, I did read the profile, which is why I didn't message you

I bet he's devastated lol.

Meow."

WOOF!!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"HOW MANY MORE TIMES - WILL YOU WOMEN READ THE PROFILE???? FFS !!!

Only slim, good looking girls within my age range.

MUST have pics of face, tits, arse and fanny.

MUST be completely devoid of hair below the eyebrows.

If you don't have any veris I will block you

If you have hundreds of veris I will block you

If you are out of my age range I will block you

If your name starts with an A I will block you

MUST BE ABLE TO ACCOMMODATE - during the daytime, evenings and weekends

MUST be able to meet at the drop of a hat for a quickie during my lunch hour

I expect you to pay your half of the bill if we eat out anytime.

I don't want constant emails but if you don't reply to mine within an hour then I will block you.

Actually, I did read the profile, which is why I didn't message you

I bet he's devastated lol.

Meow.

WOOF!!"

Like your opinion counts for anything. You're hardly a specimen of perfection yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"HOW MANY MORE TIMES - WILL YOU WOMEN READ THE PROFILE???? FFS !!!

Only slim, good looking girls within my age range.

MUST have pics of face, tits, arse and fanny.

MUST be completely devoid of hair below the eyebrows.

If you don't have any veris I will block you

If you have hundreds of veris I will block you

If you are out of my age range I will block you

If your name starts with an A I will block you

MUST BE ABLE TO ACCOMMODATE - during the daytime, evenings and weekends

MUST be able to meet at the drop of a hat for a quickie during my lunch hour

I expect you to pay your half of the bill if we eat out anytime.

I don't want constant emails but if you don't reply to mine within an hour then I will block you.

Actually, I did read the profile, which is why I didn't message you

I bet he's devastated lol.

Meow.

WOOF!!

Like your opinion counts for anything. You're hardly a specimen of perfection yourself

Well it obviously does sweetie as it seems to have rattled your cage. Oh and I am perfect (well I think so lol). Happy Tuesday xxxxx

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"HOW MANY MORE TIMES - WILL YOU WOMEN READ THE PROFILE???? FFS !!!

Only slim, good looking girls within my age range.

MUST have pics of face, tits, arse and fanny.

MUST be completely devoid of hair below the eyebrows.

If you don't have any veris I will block you

If you have hundreds of veris I will block you

If you are out of my age range I will block you

If your name starts with an A I will block you

MUST BE ABLE TO ACCOMMODATE - during the daytime, evenings and weekends

MUST be able to meet at the drop of a hat for a quickie during my lunch hour

I expect you to pay your half of the bill if we eat out anytime.

I don't want constant emails but if you don't reply to mine within an hour then I will block you.

Actually, I did read the profile, which is why I didn't message you

I bet he's devastated lol.

Meow.

WOOF!!

Like your opinion counts for anything. You're hardly a specimen of perfection yourself

Well it obviously does sweetie as it seems to have rattled your cage. Oh and I am perfect (well I think so lol). Happy Tuesday xxxxx"

Nope, no rattling here. You carry on being rude though if it makes you feel better. I'm sure you need plenty of fuel for the delusion of perfection.

And it's Wednesday, for the hard of thinking or backward amongst us!

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