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Wooden Spoon Joke Contest

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Cheer me up with a joke please. If you make me smile, you win the spoon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Woman on a quiz show, needs to get two correct answers to win the jackpot.

Q1. Who was the first woman on Earth.

A. Eve

Correct

Q2. What were her first spoken words.

A. Ooooh that's a hard one.

Correct, we have a winner ladies and gentlemen.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

A guy once inserted a wooden spoon into me then started claiming my I was crap in bed. I think he was just a shit stirrer, though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw a man trying to steal a gate the other day

I would have said something but he might have took a fence

Boom boom

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

Donald Duck on a dirty weekend. Calls receptionist and asks for condoms. Receptionist asks " shall I put them on your Bill " ?

" Don't be thucking thupid, i'd thuffocate"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 kids wake up one morning and decide they're going to start swearing.

They go in the kitchen and their mum asks, "what do you want for breakfast?"

First kids replies "give me some coco pops, bitch", his mum gives him a good slap,

then she asks hid brother "and what do you want?" the brother replies, "don't know, but it won't be fucking coco pops."

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By *reampie Cleaner 69Man
over a year ago

Barnsley

Man walks into a pub......................

breaks his nose!!!

I'm here all week!!!

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Breaking news. The Managing Director of Dulux has died whilst trekking across Antarctica.

Medics said he needed a second coat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a fish with no eyes.... Fsh

What do you call a pig with 7 eyes..... Piiiiiiig

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man donates blood to his wife after she is badly hurt in a

car crash.

A few years later they go through a bitter divorce and he demands his

blood back!.

So she throws a tampon in his face and says "there you go you

miserable git, I'll pay you back monthly!" And the moral of this story

is :- Even if a woman eventually pays back what she owes a man!, there

will ALWAYS be a string attached!.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear the one about the lazy gay guy? He couldn't be arsed...

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By *uttyjonnMan
over a year ago

cheshire

Guy got sacked from his job on the dodgems - he is claiming funfair dismissal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My girlfriend has just asked me how many women I've shagged.

I said, 'I really don't want to answer that love, you know I've had a past

& I don't want to upset you!'

'C'mon' she said, 'I can handle it!'

So I had to sit there and count them all...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, you, 10, 11, 12

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I have no need of spoons, so fork off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you call a fish with no eyes.... Fsh

What do you call a pig with 7 eyes..... Piiiiiiig"

Oh come on..that's old...

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