FabSwingers.com forum: Advice

By *i 1 Get 1 Free OP Couple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

Apologies for the long post

As some of you will know, I've found employment, however, I have an issue I'd like opinions on.

I'm replacing someone who is due to leave, this particular employee is in the process of training me, to say the employee is anti company is an understatement, the employee is so confrontational it's starting to stress me out, throughout my short period of training I've asked questions about certain processes related to the position, the reply I always receive is “I've told you that already” one example: I was shown a process, on completion I replied OK I know, the employee said “You don't know, that's why I'm training you” I said, I meant I know as in, OK, I know the process now, this lead to another confrontation, I stated, “Please stop being confrontational, as I can't handle being stressed, the employee said “are you saying I'm being confrontational” I said, please, just train me on the role and leave personalties out of it, another confrontation with the employee, this is how it's been for the 4 days I've been employed, I'm starting to feel intimidated by this employee’s behaviour.

I can't handle being put under stress for no reason, I'm working in an environment where an atmosphere is bubbling, on my second day I spoke to my line manager about this employees attitude, I explained it was difficult being trained when the trainer is not interested, I was asked to take in as much of the role as possible, this lead me to believe the company are aware an issue exists with this employee.

This particular role has increased as the company has expanded, it's a one man operation, therefore, no one else is trained for the position, the option to be trained by someone else doesn't exist.

I don't have an issue with the requirements of the position, it''s the individuals attitude and abusive way I'm treated that's the issue, the temptation to just walk out has crossed my mind numerous times in the 4 days of employment.

In all honesty, I doubt it's me generating the problem, I seem to get on well with everyone else in the department, just this particular employee, it's come to my attention, when this employee gave notice to leave, several internal employees were selected for training, however, they returned back to their original position unable to build a working relationship with this particular employee, the post was then advertised externally.

It's extremely clear to me, should the position not be filled when the employee departs, they'll have achieved their goal, in that, the company will be in the crap as no one will be trained.

I really don't want to go back to my line manager, I'm fearful they'll view me as a whinger, I feel they'll take the view as the employee is due to leave in 3 weeks, just tolerate it.

In reality I doubt there's very much can be done, they can't sack the employee, maybe they can try and reprimand them for the behaviour, but that won't change the employee, sadly, individuals are what they are.

It's no good telling this individual to fvck off, that will only flame the situation, and although the answer would be to bite one's tongue and tolerate the situation / atmosphere for the next 3 weeks, this individual is starting to get under my skin, I'm really not looking forward to going back into the environment, any idea's how to handle such an employee?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He is leaving in three weeks.

Don't rise to anything he does or says.

Go to your H.R. not your line manager and state that you will be keeping brief notes of events but do not want any action taking.

Each day give a copy of any incident to HR.

Be very nice to the horrible bastard. Not creepy just nice. Enjoy as much of each day as you can. Rise above him and see him for the sorry specimen he is. Help him to get through his day too. ( Believe me you will get satisfaction from not allowing the twat to spoil your day )

IF anything transpires and he reports you for some reason you have set of notes about each day.

When he has left should your work methods be questioned you have a set of notes and also the fact that you informed management that you were not being trained properly.

Do NOT walk out of a job because of an idiot.

xx Gran xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He is leaving in three weeks.

Don't rise to anything he does or says.

Go to your H.R. not your line manager and state that you will be keeping brief notes of events but do not want any action taking.

Each day give a copy of any incident to HR.

IF anything transpires and he reports you for some reason you have set of notes about each day.

When he has left should your work methods be questioned you have a set of notes and also the fact that you informed management that you were not being trained properly.

Do NOT walk out of a job because of an idiot.

xx Gran xx

that is sound advice, big thumbs up

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

Looks like you have got the sticky wicket and some and there is no easy answer.

Well I would suspect that this individual has ruffled management’s feathers and some. They will be aware of his attitude but once notice has been handed in there is little they can do to him.

Things you could potentially do are as follows.

1/ Tell line managers that you are a little concerned not all aspects of the position are being clearly explained. Point out that you will do your best to make it a seamless transfer but point out that there is a level of negativity in the training.

This will then put the problem a in their hands if they want you fully trained.

2/ you could try and empathise with the leaver, find out why he is leaving and where he is going. Ask who will be training him there. (A slight hint at what comes around goes around) Maybe even lie a little and say you know someone at his next employers. A GOOD friend who might even train him there. It might make him thin khis attitude.

3/ You could confront him directly and tell him your trying to learn the job to the best of your abilities. Tell him you will be probably repeating questions but that you are endeavouring to make sure you do the job to the best standards. Maybe hint that you can see he is good at his job and you will take some time to get to his standard but with his excellent training you will get there.

4/ Granny is right though if poss grin and bear it. Its only a few weeks and you’re the sort of person who will be able to get through a bit of unpleasantness.

5/ Me? Well you don’t want to do what I would. Following him to the toilet and giving him a kicking might not be the best idea even if its highly satisfying .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Head down, keep at it, don't rise to the person - it's three weeks. It may not be the best three weeks of your life, but it's only three weeks.

Also, never believe noone else sees it. In a workplace, people see everything. be the person for the next few years that didn't rise to it.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Head down, keep at it, don't rise to the person - it's three weeks. It may not be the best three weeks of your life, but it's only three weeks.

Also, never believe noone else sees it. In a workplace, people see everything. be the person for the next few years that didn't rise to it."

Ditto......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would pass the monkey on to the line manager actually and ask for HR, or someone else that you feel comfortable with, to be present at the meeting.

say that they have put you in an untenable position and that it is not your responibility to take on the grievances of another employee and ask them what they intend to do to resolve this. Push the responsibility squarely back on the company.

if that person is leaving soon, it seems highly unlikely that the company are going to risk losing you and whatever experience you have gained so far and they will also be aware that your predecessor can walk any time. If they lose you too they will not be able to advertise, interview and employ in time for any further training...which actually puts you in a strong position.

if this person is the only person that can do the job, then shame on the company as no would should be irreplaceable.

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

What Granny and everyone else says...its good advise, dont quit because of some twat babes, you always have us on here to cheer you up after a shitty day....3 weeks will pass hun

xxx Fuss xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is some sound advice offered to you in the posts here. You have my every sympathy of your situation, for what it's worth.

Be strong, it's only three weeks, but that really depends on your personality, whether you can just puff your chest out and stand tall in the face of adversity.

Take stock from the moral behind the song, "The Coward Of The County", you can win in the end, but I don't mean by following him into the gents and beating the shit out of him, like Bigbad, or in fact I would be tempted to do.

Just keep a smile on your face all the time, it's reverse psychology, he probably wont be able to handle the fact that he can't wind you up.

As Granny said, keep notes and pass them upwards. It's as much a management problem is it is yours, more so, in fact.

Hang on in there, we're all with you

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By *i 1 Get 1 Free OP Couple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

Thanks everyone, some great advice above, in reality I know not much can be done, I just needed to let it out.

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

"Thanks everyone, some great advice above, in reality I know not much can be done, I just needed to let it out."

Let it alllllllllllllllll out

then in a couple of weeks time when you are all happy again we will take the piss

xxxx

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Just to re-confirm.

How many weeks were you looking for work?

More than 3....?

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Thanks everyone, some great advice above, in reality I know not much can be done, I just needed to let it out."

Just stay cool, you worked so hard in getting this job and you can't let a prat ruin it for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would go and find other colleagues who could show me the ropes and by pass this unhelpful colleague if at all possible.

It is only 3 more weeks before he leaves, and it will fly pass in no time.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He is leaving in three weeks.

Don't rise to anything he does or says.

Go to your H.R. not your line manager and state that you will be keeping brief notes of events but do not want any action taking.

Each day give a copy of any incident to HR.

IF anything transpires and he reports you for some reason you have set of notes about each day.

When he has left should your work methods be questioned you have a set of notes and also the fact that you informed management that you were not being trained properly.

Do NOT walk out of a job because of an idiot.

xx Gran xx

Absolutely spot on from Granny. The note taking/event recording is particularly important. E-mail the notes to yourself so they are timed and dated. Good luck. Nils Desperandum Illegitimi Carborundum as my Old Dad used to say. Don't Let The Bastard Grind You down - according to him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with the other posts, they are leaving in 3 weeks and just bite your tongue and be really nice and sweet (even though it will kill you to do it), but do keep a diary of what is happening and do send this information to the HR department. They have a duty to give you a proper induction and the person training you does not care if you learn or not, so wont train you properly. Make a note of this and if there is something that you dont understand then ask, but keep it all in your notes. If the time comes when the person is gone and you dont understand, you can honestly say that you were not given a proper induction and were put under unnecessary stress - hope it all works out for it, it sounds a horrible situation to be in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he's leaving in three weeks there is no realistic way you can learn his entire job in that short space of time and by pretty much his last few days he'll have taught you all he's willing to, so bide your time then tell him to go fuck himself when he's only got a few days to go.

When he's gone you can set about making the job your own and developing your own methods, procedures and routines.

Why return to unemployment because an asshole with only three weeks to go is intent on making his replacement's life a misery. I am assuming he is the architect of his own downfall but as he is the only one with the knowledge to do his job the company have no choice but to tolerate him while he serves his notice and hope that you take in as much of what the job entails as you can.

Remember, they employed you because they thought you could do the job.

Prove them right. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey you lot.....stop blaming the male species, everyone's saying 'him' and 'he' but the OP doesn't specify a sex. I reckon it's a woman!!!! Anyhoo, good luck in your new job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm with Granny on this one, there is nothing you can do, they are very bitter about leaving and taking it out on you, nothing you can do will change things so dont, let it ride, take a deep breath and keep notes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Remember if you do manage to tolerate him for the final three weeks and learn his job then you have suceeded where his fellow co workers failed. Your boss will or should really appreciate you for that, will show amazing strength of character.

Good luck.

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

I did it my way!

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

Be strong Olly...you can deal with this.....just think at the end of the three weeks he'll be gone...you'll still be employed....and.....you have the beach party to look foward too

((((HUG)))

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excellent by all posters, they way this employee is treating you is 'bullying' which in this day and age is not acceptable, your employer has a liability to address this asap.

Once the word 'bullying' is mentioned alarm bells trigger!

I'm not sure about Employment Laws in the UK, but in Ireland there are specific acts in legislation to cover exactly what's happening to you, I've no doubt UK have the same.

I think GrannyCrumpet summed it up with her excellent advice.

In the interim, try and not let it get to you as you've done nothing wrong.

I wish you all the best in your new career, let us know how you get on.

Paddy xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey you lot.....stop blaming the male species, everyone's saying 'him' and 'he' but the OP doesn't specify a sex. I reckon it's a woman!!!! Anyhoo, good luck in your new job."

As the original post didn't refer to gender there was a 50/50 chance that the employee was female.

In this SUPPOSED equal society it is common ( not morally correct but common ) to refer to any unknown gender as 'he'. Goes right across our culture with MANkind etc etc. Even looking at pups , babies , whatever people will say what's 'his' name? Before being told the gender.

Got to say. Once gender is known it does put a very different slant on what replies people will give. I love 'EQUALITY' I do.

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By *i 1 Get 1 Free OP Couple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"Once gender is known it does put a very different slant on what replies people will give"

Thanks for the words of support and encouragement, I truly appreciate all the replies, I didn't specify the sex or ethnic origin as I didn't feel the information was relevant within my OP, however, the employee is female, with a huge chip on her shoulder, some people try their hardest to avoid conflict / confrontation / problems, sadly, this particular individual is the type that goes looking for those issues.

No offence to anyone, but I created this thread for advice, please don't let it turn into Men Vs Women qualities, anyone wishing to debate that subject you have the option to create your own thread.

Thanks to you all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When starting the job im now retired from i had all sorts of crap from quite a few people. I was not needed there as i was transferred from another post.

Each day was a nightmare but i loved the clients and thought "sod you" to the staff. the more they gave me agro, the more i dug my heels in.

I carried on like that for two years or so.

But Eventually they realised i wasnt going anywhere and things settled down.

I then enjoyed most aspects of my job.

Some people love to give agro but what you have to do is dig your heels in and dont let the bastards grind you down.

Good luck with it all and hopefully the time will pass quickly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/08/10 02:20:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you mind clarifying why she's leaving in three weeks time? Was she pushed? Resigned? Passed over for promotion?

It would assist in clarifying why she feels so aggrieved towards you - her replacement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excellent advice given!

As we know, there are people that love making others life a misery: "spoil their joy" as my dad used to say, don't rise to her.

Think how you can make the job your own, remember how you felt being unemployed and the three weeks will fly past.

I wouldn't let it stress me out!

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By *i 1 Get 1 Free OP Couple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"Would you mind clarifying why she's leaving in three weeks time? Was she pushed? Resigned? Passed over for promotion?

It would assist in clarifying why she feels so aggrieved towards you - her replacement."

Hi Wishy

I've formed the opinion she's one of those people unable to communicate with anyone, based on this week's observations, anyone including management has “asked” her a question she's immediately on the defensive and abrupt with her replies, I'm unable to ascertain why she's leaving, it's hard enough trying to build a working relationship without diving into her private business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi Olli

you have had some great advice here i hope you are able to choose those bits that suit you and are able to manage the situation

when you have been out of work for a while you carry other concerns with you that become exaggerated when you return to employment

dont let these take over here - keep this in perspective and see the situation for what it is - a very unhappy person who is not happy in their life - your just in the storm for a while - about 3 weeks to be exact -

choose the advice that works for you and stay in touch xxxxx we are always here for a sounding board if needed!

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By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston

There is one piece of advice I can offer, quietly find out if there is a full job description and manual with method statements. If so get them and see if they correspond with what you are being trained to do, I would guess that if there is that much bad blood between the company and the person you are replacing that if possible they will be leaving out small but vital parts of your training in order to harm the company when they leave.

Hopefully you will find that all your duties and how to carry them out have been recorded so although it may mean a lot of cramming you can learn the job from reading notes at night and use your days with your "trainer" to pick up the "wrinkles".

Good luck!

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By *i 1 Get 1 Free OP Couple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

Hi bigtits

You're correct, I've received some great advice on here, initially, I was shocked having to work with someone so negative / confrontational, I've now completed my first week, I know now what to expect from her, and although I'm not looking forward to going in tomorrow, I'm going to take this week in my stride, as someone mentioned above, I was out of work longer than 3 weeks, August 31st will soon arrive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make good notes on all that you are being told to do just in case some misinformation is being thrown in as well.

On the positive side, if this person is as big an arsehole as they sound, everybody else in the place will be so glad to see the back of them that you should get:

a, lots of sympathy for the crap you have had to put up with, and

b, lots of support to get you over the first few weeks on your own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

HI Oli

just checking in to see how things are going ?

9 days to go - is it any better ?

xxxxxx

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