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Experiences of a 'single' male...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

First time posting in this forum so first up, hope this is in the right area...

My post below is honest and will be, in parts pretty blunt and will possibly offend, but I hope it doesn't. It is my honest appraisal and perception of the situation.

So I'm a 'single' male. Except not really. I'm married and my wife and I play together and separately. When together we have met some absolutely lovely people and have a very positive outlook on that.

A few weeks back we decided to add single profiles to here - both saying we were happily married. At this point I would say, having looked at numerous female profiles, that there is a huge general difference of opinion between the sexes...

Married man contacts single female whose perception is 'omg you're married that's disgusting'.

Married woman sets up profile on here. Single male perception is 'omg married woman, just wants one thing, get in!'

Further experiences of single women on here, as well as other websites, is that many women set up profiles for validation. It appears they want attention without having any intention of meeting anyone. Examples of this are the many statuses of 'not meeting currently' when the person is clearly smashing refresh every few minutes to end up top of the search. Further examples include statuses of 'oh dear, just deleted all my messages by accident' - cue next barrage of messages.

There's also an absolute ton of hypocrisy involved. Women saying 'no cock pics' - an outlook which is absolutely fine and something I think is probably correct - but then their 'bits' are plastered all over their own profile! Another example of this is the incessant list of demands of women on here, of which they fail to fulfil many of themselves - bbw women seeking muscular men only, for example.

Personally I sent about 40 messages to single women and got 4 replies. 3 polite rejections and 1 who ran for the hills when I said I was married (which I do mention in my profile). Hopefully you will realise from this post that I'm articulate and managed to cobble together a pretty decent opening message...

On the flip side my wife had 80 messages within 4 hours of her profile being active, despite having no profile picture...

There's a clear supply and demand issue here obviously so I suppose its logical that women have the power in this situation, but it's actually quite repulsive to see the arrogance of some women on here, despite being far from a supermodel.

Overall I have found the experience pretty demoralising and I am very likely not to bother any more. From seeing how my wife reads messages I can offer guys some advice:-

Your message doesn't hugely matter. If there's no attraction you have no chance. Messages only matter if there's an attraction. It's a filtering process.

Also it would be interesting to see on average how many hours effort it takes for a single male to get 'action' on here. I'm not advocating this for one moment as I'm against the concept, but if you multiplied the hours spent by an average hourly pay rate, you'd probably be financially and mentally better off seeing prostitutes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry weren't listening say that again?

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Yes, it is supply and demand.

I'm not currently meeting - does that mean I should leave fab in your opinion? From my veris you will see that I do meet - some social and some play.

As for BBW seeking muscular men - why shouldn't they? If that is what they find attractive? Ever heard of opposites attract? I've been very big, and was always amazed by the men that fancied me - probably more men are interested in bigger girls than anything. I had more offers when I was a size 26 than I get now (or when I am meeting)

I detest cock pics, and agree there is hypocrisy on here, but I will never show a full on naked picture as I believe them to be crass (my opinion) and would rather leave something to the imagination - its like giving someone a beautiful present, pretty ribbons, bows, bonny paper, and then before they even get it out of the plastic bag - telling them what is inside it... completely spoils the surprise!

Single fellas do get a rough ride on here, even tougher if they are honest about being married and playing with permission. I would never meet someone on fabs behind their partners back, if a married man could prove easily he had permission, and a link to his couples profile then I may consider him if I was attracted.

But like you say, us ladies are spoiled - we do have a vast choice of fellas on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What I have gathered from this is men have less preferences than women. You could say are less fussy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We do have a lot of men to choose from but the idea that the site is crammed with hot,young studs isn't reality

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What I have gathered from this is men have less preferences than women. You could say are less fussy "

Personally I think that's situational, due to circumstance, as opposed to anything else...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

@ladybee - thanks for your honest thoughts.

A couple of things I'd like to say. Of course someone not meeting shouldn't leave here but that wasn't my point. MJ point was that the same women who don't want to meet are always at the top of the search!

Secondly of course bbw women might find muscular men attractive but look at the flip side - could a man with a 42 inch waist get a size 8 model if that was his type - unless he was a millionaire, extremely unlikely!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women do have it easier on fab,but on the flip side,they do have the washing up to do,vacuuming and change the bed sheets.

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By *et a roomCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

As there are clearly hundreds more single men on here than single women or couples, then obviously single women are at a premium and they have all the power, as it should be. Therefore it's no surprise that your wife was inundated with messages, whilst you struggled to get replies.

As for being married, did you have a link to your couples profile, or did you state that your wife would happily confirm that you could play alone?

It doesn't bother us if a guy is married, it's none of our business and (A) is not looking for a boyfriend, just some uncomplicated NSA sex. What people do in their own lives and their own relationships is up to them. Others clearly don't agree.

Have you thought about going to clubs? No-one will care either way in there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What I have gathered from this is men have less preferences than women. You could say are less fussy

Personally I think that's situational, due to circumstance, as opposed to anything else..."

I can only speak for myself here,if the numbers were reversed I wouldn't mail everyone hoping someone would say yes eventually. If I wasn't getting any responses because I wasn't fit enough I would leave the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You do make good points throughout your original post, but I think your making the assumption that the world is a fair place.

Every one is going to get the best that they can get. If an obese woman gets lots of responses she is going to pick the most attractive of these responses.

Fab is after all a casual sex website, there is always going to be an imbalance in the gender of its subscribers.

Meetings may be free from a financial standpoint but are expensive in time and effort, there is always going to be a cost attached, there are no free lunches in this world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fair shout @ the OP

what we need onhere is more women and more variety of women

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I don't think your post should offend - it is a fairly accurate portrayal of the status quo. Yes, the women have the power here by reason of supply and demand, because the gender balance is off, and because male and female attitudes are different to.

I am sure there are people here who only want attention. People post on the forum seeking attention much of the time, male and female, though many of us do so as a means to an end, as well as an idle amusement.

I don't know if there are many men on here who seek attention without any intention of meeting - but let me assure you, if not this place is a small refuge from the vast SEA of dating sites which is crammed full of men trying to con women into talking to them or preferably (for them) watch while they whack off without any intention of meeting for sex, let alone getting into the relationship they pretend to want.

Getting away from them and the married liars was one of the main reasons I came here, so you will forgive me if I smile an appreciation of the Karma of it every time I hear an man complain about women who don't meet!!

Yup, it's tough here for guys. But sometimes you just have to 'suck it up and get over it' in life, sorry!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had loads of experiences, I've been parachuting, water skiing and caving to name but three

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And remember,you are one of those single men messaging women

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

As for being married, did you have a link to your couples profile.

Have you thought about going to clubs? No-one will care either way in there. "

Yeah I did have a link on my single profile, took it down now as I am likely to come off here. Also sent link on most messages.

Yeah we go to clubs together, that's great. As a single male, for a variety of reasons, not for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

At this point would definitely like to clarify that my post was far from a 'feel sorry for myself/what's going wrong?' thread - much more of an appraisal of my individual experiences on here...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great post OP. I agree with all of it and empathise. Sorry I don't have any answers. Just know there's one female that understands. (And others... but most won't.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Basically its a cock fest for women as the ratio is 100 men to 1 woman, there is nothing you can do really, than to be lucky lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Great post OP. I agree with all of it and empathise. Sorry I don't have any answers. Just know there's one female that understands. (And others... but most won't.)"

Thanks, that's good to hear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"First time posting in this forum so first up, hope this is in the right area...

My post below is honest and will be, in parts pretty blunt and will possibly offend, but I hope it doesn't. It is my honest appraisal and perception of the situation.

So I'm a 'single' male. Except not really. I'm married and my wife and I play together and separately. When together we have met some absolutely lovely people and have a very positive outlook on that.

A few weeks back we decided to add single profiles to here - both saying we were happily married. At this point I would say, having looked at numerous female profiles, that there is a huge general difference of opinion between the sexes...

Married man contacts single female whose perception is 'omg you're married that's disgusting'.

Married woman sets up profile on here. Single male perception is 'omg married woman, just wants one thing, get in!'

Further experiences of single women on here, as well as other websites, is that many women set up profiles for validation. It appears they want attention without having any intention of meeting anyone. Examples of this are the many statuses of 'not meeting currently' when the person is clearly smashing refresh every few minutes to end up top of the search. Further examples include statuses of 'oh dear, just deleted all my messages by accident' - cue next barrage of messages.

There's also an absolute ton of hypocrisy involved. Women saying 'no cock pics' - an outlook which is absolutely fine and something I think is probably correct - but then their 'bits' are plastered all over their own profile! Another example of this is the incessant list of demands of women on here, of which they fail to fulfil many of themselves - bbw women seeking muscular men only, for example.

Personally I sent about 40 messages to single women and got 4 replies. 3 polite rejections and 1 who ran for the hills when I said I was married (which I do mention in my profile). Hopefully you will realise from this post that I'm articulate and managed to cobble together a pretty decent opening message...

On the flip side my wife had 80 messages within 4 hours of her profile being active, despite having no profile picture...

There's a clear supply and demand issue here obviously so I suppose its logical that women have the power in this situation, but it's actually quite repulsive to see the arrogance of some women on here, despite being far from a supermodel.

Overall I have found the experience pretty demoralising and I am very likely not to bother any more. From seeing how my wife reads messages I can offer guys some advice:-

Your message doesn't hugely matter. If there's no attraction you have no chance. Messages only matter if there's an attraction. It's a filtering process.

Also it would be interesting to see on average how many hours effort it takes for a single male to get 'action' on here. I'm not advocating this for one moment as I'm against the concept, but if you multiplied the hours spent by an average hourly pay rate, you'd probably be financially and mentally better off seeing prostitutes."

A very well written post that explains the effects of the fab dynamic. The ratio of men to women does effect the behaviour and expectations of some women on here...but not all. Many remain grounded in reality and maintain a dignity that must at times be tested by their 'Fab' experience.

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By *asmanian TigerMan
over a year ago

lala land

[Removed by poster at 20/11/14 11:32:38]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What I have gathered from this is men have less preferences than women. You could say are less fussy

Personally I think that's situational, due to circumstance, as opposed to anything else...

I can only speak for myself here,if the numbers were reversed I wouldn't mail everyone hoping someone would say yes eventually. If I wasn't getting any responses because I wasn't fit enough I would leave the site. "

I often wonder, with the odds stacked against me (looks / personal circumstance etc) whether I should leave the site.

The few people I have met make it all worthwhile. And it would appear from the people I have met and stayed in contact with that I bring something that they find agreeable.

I stay around for the lovely people I chat to in the forums, the fantastic ladies who take a chance and meet me and to see what I can add to fab in general.

Once I switched from seeing what I can get from Fab to what I can give, the whole experience was better.

I couldn't care less about the statistics, how much work I need to get a meet etc. Just getting amongst it and being me has led to some lovely forumites willing to meet up if I ever end up in their neck of the woods.

Success for me is not the number of fucks I get, but the number of smiles I cause

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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago

A seaside town near you!


"First time posting in this forum so first up, hope this is in the right area...

My post below is honest and will be, in parts pretty blunt and will possibly offend, but I hope it doesn't. It is my honest appraisal and perception of the situation.

So I'm a 'single' male. Except not really. I'm married and my wife and I play together and separately. When together we have met some absolutely lovely people and have a very positive outlook on that.

A few weeks back we decided to add single profiles to here - both saying we were happily married. At this point I would say, having looked at numerous female profiles, that there is a huge general difference of opinion between the sexes...

Married man contacts single female whose perception is 'omg you're married that's disgusting'.

Married woman sets up profile on here. Single male perception is 'omg married woman, just wants one thing, get in!'

Further experiences of single women on here, as well as other websites, is that many women set up profiles for validation. It appears they want attention without having any intention of meeting anyone. Examples of this are the many statuses of 'not meeting currently' when the person is clearly smashing refresh every few minutes to end up top of the search. Further examples include statuses of 'oh dear, just deleted all my messages by accident' - cue next barrage of messages.

There's also an absolute ton of hypocrisy involved. Women saying 'no cock pics' - an outlook which is absolutely fine and something I think is probably correct - but then their 'bits' are plastered all over their own profile! Another example of this is the incessant list of demands of women on here, of which they fail to fulfil many of themselves - bbw women seeking muscular men only, for example.

Personally I sent about 40 messages to single women and got 4 replies. 3 polite rejections and 1 who ran for the hills when I said I was married (which I do mention in my profile). Hopefully you will realise from this post that I'm articulate and managed to cobble together a pretty decent opening message...

On the flip side my wife had 80 messages within 4 hours of her profile being active, despite having no profile picture...

There's a clear supply and demand issue here obviously so I suppose its logical that women have the power in this situation, but it's actually quite repulsive to see the arrogance of some women on here, despite being far from a supermodel.

Overall I have found the experience pretty demoralising and I am very likely not to bother any more. From seeing how my wife reads messages I can offer guys some advice:-

Your message doesn't hugely matter. If there's no attraction you have no chance. Messages only matter if there's an attraction. It's a filtering process.

Also it would be interesting to see on average how many hours effort it takes for a single male to get 'action' on here. I'm not advocating this for one moment as I'm against the concept, but if you multiplied the hours spent by an average hourly pay rate, you'd probably be financially and mentally better off seeing prostitutes.

A very well written post that explains the effects of the fab dynamic. The ratio of men to women does effect the behaviour and expectations of some women on here...but not all. Many remain grounded in reality and maintain a dignity that must at times be tested by their 'Fab' experience."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Messages matter a bit, had some pretty hot guys message me asking for a blow job like i'm a suck and go, er no thanks.

I wouldn't call you disgusting for being married, but i wouldn't be interested in a meet either because idk why but my parents had a traditional marriage so that has probably rubbed off on me (and why i've never wanted to get married myself). Even if you were cheating i would still understand that people have sexual needs and that sex and love can be separate things.

Don't know if you're going to give up so soon or not, if you feel like it then do. But don't let others feelings and the way they think make you think there is anything wrong with yourself. Society has become very structured over the years so that we all have to behave and act a certain way because of any labels we add to ourselves. Life also doesn't work out the way you want it to either, because other people have their own aspirations and they might not fit in with yours, and it's all part of the messaging people you don't know anything about process.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"

A very well written post that explains the effects of the fab dynamic. The ratio of men to women does effect the behaviour and expectations of some women on here...but not all. Many remain grounded in reality and maintain a dignity that must at times be tested by their 'Fab' experience."

I would agree with that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

A very well written post that explains the effects of the fab dynamic. The ratio of men to women does effect the behaviour and expectations of some women on here...but not all. Many remain grounded in reality and maintain a dignity that must at times be tested by their 'Fab' experience.

I would agree with that "

So would I

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I can believe you've given a fair portrayal of your 'single' experience, given your good lady has a 'single ' profile and you have a couples profile as well it's likely to be objective and accurate,...

I agree with some of your points... I can say that my single experience on fab has been fun laughs and frolics all the way...

I'm either very lucky or very attractive....

I'm off to buy a lottery ticket I feel a win coming...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Messages matter a bit, had some pretty hot guys message me asking for a blow job like i'm a suck and go, er no thanks.

I wouldn't call you disgusting for being married, but i wouldn't be interested in a meet either because idk why but my parents had a traditional marriage so that has probably rubbed off on me (and why i've never wanted to get married myself). Even if you were cheating i would still understand that people have sexual needs and that sex and love can be separate things.

Don't know if you're going to give up so soon or not, if you feel like it then do. But don't let others feelings and the way they think make you think there is anything wrong with yourself. Society has become very structured over the years so that we all have to behave and act a certain way because of any labels we add to ourselves. Life also doesn't work out the way you want it to either, because other people have their own aspirations and they might not fit in with yours, and it's all part of the messaging people you don't know anything about process.

"

Thanks, definitely agree with the last paragraph in particular - I don't feel bad at all about myself/decisions but society indeed does have a lot to answer for...

As for the messages, agreed also, what I more meant was for a single man to achieve success, they needed both to create attention and write a good message. One out of two isn't enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi Op

I concur that you're right on every point - but please don't think it's utopia for single fems on here!

I get hundreds of messages a day - so many that I frequently have to hide my profile whilst I sort them.

The majority of messages with fall into 3 categories:

1 Here's my cock want a fuck?

2 How's your day?

3 How are you finding fab?

Only some will have the face and torso pic that I clearly ask for.

However - of the small number who get through the filtering process - at least 50% will be here for an ego boost and have no intention of actually meeting anyone because they frankly don't have the balls!! I've had my time wasted as often as any single man on here I can assure you!

Overall i'd say I actually meet about 1% of the people who message me - which is why I often leave the messages and head to the forums for some entertainment, friendship and sanity!! xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loads more men on here than women . This is a bonus for me!

As a t girl , the message I receive is far more important than what the guy looks like . As it will result in a much better meet x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Create attraction not attention - predictive text!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi Op

I concur that you're right on every point - but please don't think it's utopia for single fems on here!

I get hundreds of messages a day - so many that I frequently have to hide my profile whilst I sort them.

The majority of messages with fall into 3 categories:

1 Here's my cock want a fuck?

2 How's your day?

3 How are you finding fab?

Only some will have the face and torso pic that I clearly ask for.

However - of the small number who get through the filtering process - at least 50% will be here for an ego boost and have no intention of actually meeting anyone because they frankly don't have the balls!! I've had my time wasted as often as any single man on here I can assure you!

Overall i'd say I actually meet about 1% of the people who message me - which is why I often leave the messages and head to the forums for some entertainment, friendship and sanity!! xxx"

Having seen many of my wife's messages I can well believe this! I would also say 5% fitted the 'her type' and 'good message' criteria...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having been here a while I can say that I have gone through many of the same feelings and experiences as the OP - but I think what it all boils down to is that there are just as many different types of women on Fab as there are men - good, bad and indifferent - it is just that the absolute number of women is that much smaller, so it seems harder to find the good ones. Us men don't help ourselves either, if any of the messages that I get from men offering to suck me off are anything to go by.....

While the direct approach can work, I have found that once I stopped trying too hard, stopped worrying about getting laid, relaxed and enjoyed a little banter and tried to be empathetic I have had more fun.

Fab is a state of mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I absolutely detest sexist generalisations but there are some links to biology which are irrefutable. Men are more programmed to spread their seed far and wide, to maximise chances of fathering progeny. Women are much more selective as they would bear any child themselves. It's got nothing to do with fab or the ratio of males to females, a convo with my vanilla friends will show they have strict criteria for guys they date, just as women do in the swinging world.

Your comment about arrogance of women 'despite being far from a supermodel' is offensive and shallow. Do you really believe that because a woman is less attractive to you personally (and let's remember attraction is highly subjective) she should somehow abandon her standards and accept someone she doesn't find attractive. Everyone, men included, has the freedom to specify who they want to meet.

Plenty of people come on here to chat or to keep in touch with friends without meeting and that's entirely up to them. Maybe they have a health or family issue that precludes meets at the current time? Likewise if she doesn't want cock pics, but the men she contacts appreciate her pussy pics again that's up to her. If you don't like that profile then move to the next.

It's all about choices, you have yours and women on here have theirs too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something that hasn't been mentioned but you might want to consider is how many of the eighty messages has your wife replied to? How many will she look to meet? Is she replying to a higher percentage than you have had back? Or looking to meet a higher percentage than you have had looking to meet you?

If most have not received a reply and/or she is not looking to meet any of those 80, then to receive a 10% rate of reply might not seem so bad.

You clearly are much more articulate than the average man on here, so don't despair. For us, that would help you have more chance than most who message us.

That said, yes, there are many double standards on here. Speaking personally, having a single profile too, I find it is actually easier to speak to women who want to meet on my couple's profile than single one. Perhaps you could approach women through your joint account instead, simply leaving your single account for those women who block couples? I'd also suggest reinstating your link to your couple's profile as you seem to want to tell people you're married anyway. I can't see any reason not to do so.

Matt

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I'm fat and I'm looking for fit, toned blokes. I don't see the problem. It doesn't make me arrogant. I'm not looking for a life partner, at which point personality traits might come into play more, I'm here for sex. I prefer fit, toned, tall men and if I can't attract any, I'll go without.

I often get messages along the lines of "You're fat. You aren't going to get what you want. I'm as good as you're going to get, so meet me". That rather misses the point. Firstly, some muscular men do want to meet me and secondly, I'm not here for the best I can get if it's not what I want.

Therein lies the difference. Many men on here will take the best they can get. Women tend to want what we want and would rather not meet if we can't get it.

Personally I'm not a fan of the suggestion that women are expected to meet a physical standard before we're allowed to want to meet muscular men. Just because it may be harder for fat men to meet slim women is a poor excuse for criticising women for it. It smacks of "it's not fair" whining. Men and women tend to be wired differently so it's only to be expected that there are some differences between how it works for each sex.

I also don't appreciate the suggestion that all, or even most, women have their fannies plastered all over their profiles. I don't. Does that mean I'm permitted, by your standards, to not like cock pics?

Plus, have you ever considered that since men do tend to be stimulated by photos more than women, that more men like pussy photos than women like cock photos?

As far as I can see, it's about posting what appeals to those you're trying to attract. I'll never understand why, when a lot of women say they don't like cock photos, men persist in posting them and trying to change women's minds or justify it with "but you have fanny photos".

Again, different things tend to appeal to the different sexes.

Otherwise a lot of your observations match my experience. Please don't think it's all sunshine and roses for women on here though; we have our own issues here. Different issues, but still issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Messages matter a bit, had some pretty hot guys message me asking for a blow job like i'm a suck and go, er no thanks.

I wouldn't call you disgusting for being married, but i wouldn't be interested in a meet either because idk why but my parents had a traditional marriage so that has probably rubbed off on me (and why i've never wanted to get married myself). Even if you were cheating i would still understand that people have sexual needs and that sex and love can be separate things.

Don't know if you're going to give up so soon or not, if you feel like it then do. But don't let others feelings and the way they think make you think there is anything wrong with yourself. Society has become very structured over the years so that we all have to behave and act a certain way because of any labels we add to ourselves. Life also doesn't work out the way you want it to either, because other people have their own aspirations and they might not fit in with yours, and it's all part of the messaging people you don't know anything about process.

Thanks, definitely agree with the last paragraph in particular - I don't feel bad at all about myself/decisions but society indeed does have a lot to answer for...

As for the messages, agreed also, what I more meant was for a single man to achieve success, they needed both to create attention and write a good message. One out of two isn't enough."

No worries, and yeah a bit my fault coz i did read the whole topic but didn't notice you had said that you weren't feeling bad about until after...one of the problems of ADD and brain working to quickly lol.

Half the time i am looking for a fuck and nothing more so messages wouldn't matter too much if i did fancy someone, but the message would have to give me an idea of knowing i know i would be having some good sex when we met up.

Anyway got to go out, and i think it's good to be blunt coz half the time nobody knows what you're on about if you aren't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For someone who come across as having experience you make some shockingly naive statements. Cock pictures are not in demand some like them but many don't women's bits are in demand many like them some don't just look at the most fabbed pics and that obvious.

There are increasingly more profiles on here that don't meet on fab, like mine. Many of these profiles are to keep up with people that have been met in the real world. That is where so many people meet, at socials and in clubs, fab is just a tool to know when the next event is on and see who is going.

There is no rule to say if your here you have to fuck.

Of course you will have less luck than your wife, she is in demand you are not purely based on numbers anyone with experience will know that.

People have preferances so who cares if a"bbw" wants to meet a "BBC" or a fit younger guy or if a fit younger guy wants a "milf" how does that effect you, your not what they are looking for?

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)


"I'm fat and I'm looking for fit, toned blokes. I don't see the problem. It doesn't make me arrogant. I'm not looking for a life partner, at which point personality traits might come into play more, I'm here for sex. I prefer fit, toned, tall men and if I can't attract any, I'll go without.

I often get messages along the lines of "You're fat. You aren't going to get what you want. I'm as good as you're going to get, so meet me". That rather misses the point. Firstly, some muscular men do want to meet me and secondly, I'm not here for the best I can get if it's not what I want.

Therein lies the difference. Many men on here will take the best they can get. Women tend to want what we want and would rather not meet if we can't get it.

Personally I'm not a fan of the suggestion that women are expected to meet a physical standard before we're allowed to want to meet muscular men. Just because it may be harder for fat men to meet slim women is a poor excuse for criticising women for it. It smacks of "it's not fair" whining. Men and women tend to be wired differently so it's only to be expected that there are some differences between how it works for each sex.

I also don't appreciate the suggestion that all, or even most, women have their fannies plastered all over their profiles. I don't. Does that mean I'm permitted, by your standards, to not like cock pics?

Plus, have you ever considered that since men do tend to be stimulated by photos more than women, that more men like pussy photos than women like cock photos?

As far as I can see, it's about posting what appeals to those you're trying to attract. I'll never understand why, when a lot of women say they don't like cock photos, men persist in posting them and trying to change women's minds or justify it with "but you have fanny photos".

Again, different things tend to appeal to the different sexes.

Otherwise a lot of your observations match my experience. Please don't think it's all sunshine and roses for women on here though; we have our own issues here. Different issues, but still issues."

Great post!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I absolutely detest sexist generalisations but there are some links to biology which are irrefutable. Men are more programmed to spread their seed far and wide, to maximise chances of fathering progeny. Women are much more selective as they would bear any child themselves. It's got nothing to do with fab or the ratio of males to females, a convo with my vanilla friends will show they have strict criteria for guys they date, just as women do in the swinging world.

Your comment about arrogance of women 'despite being far from a supermodel' is offensive and shallow. Do you really believe that because a woman is less attractive to you personally (and let's remember attraction is highly subjective) she should somehow abandon her standards and accept someone she doesn't find attractive. Everyone, men included, has the freedom to specify who they want to meet.

Plenty of people come on here to chat or to keep in touch with friends without meeting and that's entirely up to them. Maybe they have a health or family issue that precludes meets at the current time? Likewise if she doesn't want cock pics, but the men she contacts appreciate her pussy pics again that's up to her. If you don't like that profile then move to the next.

It's all about choices, you have yours and women on here have theirs too."

It's not offensive and shallow. It might be if women didn't specify the same on their profile, which many, many do.

If I was offensive and shallow I wouldn't have married my wife, when she was a size 24/26. It was merely an observation of the differing status quo between men and women. If, as someone that was a few stone overweight myself, specified that I wished to be very selective towards a certain body type/look, my chances as a single male would reduce from very low to non existent.

I would say that given the amount of positive feedback I had from my original post, both from men and women, that you _iews are in the minority...

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Oh, I forgot to say that to me, playing alone with the knowledge and agreement of a partner is very different to cheating.

If a man tells me he's playing with the blessing of his partner, if I'm interested in meeting him I'll ask if I can contact her to verify that.

At that point I usually get vague comments along the lines of "she doesn't really get involved in what I do. She does her thing and I do mine" or they disappear. The ones who really are playing with their partner's knowledge tend to be happy to have the partner verify it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh, I forgot to say that to me, playing alone with the knowledge and agreement of a partner is very different to cheating.

If a man tells me he's playing with the blessing of his partner, if I'm interested in meeting him I'll ask if I can contact her to verify that.

At that point I usually get vague comments along the lines of "she doesn't really get involved in what I do. She does her thing and I do mine" or they disappear. The ones who really are playing with their partner's knowledge tend to be happy to have the partner verify it."

Yeah I can well believe that. I wouldn't have had any problem in referring someone to my wife for verification in that respect...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of your points are valid but are obvious and most learn to accept it I can't see it ever changing.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"

I absolutely detest sexist generalisations but there are some links to biology which are irrefutable. Men are more programmed to spread their seed far and wide, to maximise chances of fathering progeny. Women are much more selective as they would bear any child themselves. It's got nothing to do with fab or the ratio of males to females, a convo with my vanilla friends will show they have strict criteria for guys they date, just as women do in the swinging world.

Your comment about arrogance of women 'despite being far from a supermodel' is offensive and shallow. Do you really believe that because a woman is less attractive to you personally (and let's remember attraction is highly subjective) she should somehow abandon her standards and accept someone she doesn't find attractive. Everyone, men included, has the freedom to specify who they want to meet.

Plenty of people come on here to chat or to keep in touch with friends without meeting and that's entirely up to them. Maybe they have a health or family issue that precludes meets at the current time? Likewise if she doesn't want cock pics, but the men she contacts appreciate her pussy pics again that's up to her. If you don't like that profile then move to the next.

It's all about choices, you have yours and women on here have theirs too.

It's not offensive and shallow. It might be if women didn't specify the same on their profile, which many, many do.

If I was offensive and shallow I wouldn't have married my wife, when she was a size 24/26. It was merely an observation of the differing status quo between men and women. If, as someone that was a few stone overweight myself, specified that I wished to be very selective towards a certain body type/look, my chances as a single male would reduce from very low to non existent.

I would say that given the amount of positive feedback I had from my original post, both from men and women, that you _iews are in the minority..."

Well I agree with the post, personally. I'm sure plenty of others do too.

Obviously, a lot of men will agree with you because "it's not fair" and there are more men on the site than women, so your feedback might well not be very balanced.

I'm surprised someone so able to put together an articulate post can't see the problem with saying only supermodels have a right to have preferences and make choices.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I absolutely detest sexist generalisations but there are some links to biology which are irrefutable. Men are more programmed to spread their seed far and wide, to maximise chances of fathering progeny. Women are much more selective as they would bear any child themselves. It's got nothing to do with fab or the ratio of males to females, a convo with my vanilla friends will show they have strict criteria for guys they date, just as women do in the swinging world.

Your comment about arrogance of women 'despite being far from a supermodel' is offensive and shallow. Do you really believe that because a woman is less attractive to you personally (and let's remember attraction is highly subjective) she should somehow abandon her standards and accept someone she doesn't find attractive. Everyone, men included, has the freedom to specify who they want to meet.

Plenty of people come on here to chat or to keep in touch with friends without meeting and that's entirely up to them. Maybe they have a health or family issue that precludes meets at the current time? Likewise if she doesn't want cock pics, but the men she contacts appreciate her pussy pics again that's up to her. If you don't like that profile then move to the next.

It's all about choices, you have yours and women on here have theirs too.

It's not offensive and shallow. It might be if women didn't specify the same on their profile, which many, many do.

If I was offensive and shallow I wouldn't have married my wife, when she was a size 24/26. It was merely an observation of the differing status quo between men and women. If, as someone that was a few stone overweight myself, specified that I wished to be very selective towards a certain body type/look, my chances as a single male would reduce from very low to non existent.

I would say that given the amount of positive feedback I had from my original post, both from men and women, that you _iews are in the minority...

Well I agree with the post, personally. I'm sure plenty of others do too.

Obviously, a lot of men will agree with you because "it's not fair" and there are more men on the site than women, so your feedback might well not be very balanced.

I'm surprised someone so able to put together an articulate post can't see the problem with saying only supermodels have a right to have preferences and make choices."

I'm not saying that. You've completely misinterpreted my comments. I'm merely stating that most men unless extremely fit/are rich don't have the same luxury on here...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No ones going to settle for burgers when you can have steak

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By *awkesWoman
over a year ago

Corwen

Single bi woman's pov...:

I don't meet. .full stop. I'm not in a couple. I still consider myself ok to be here..why? Because I'm a swinger. I go to clubs ...it's safer and less pressure for a single girl in my opinion and it works for me. In clubs I can actually talk to guys or couples in a friendly social environment and pretty soon figure out if I like them and importantly if they like me to play. I find I can't get that knowledge from a few messages on here and a few distant pics. I am ridiculously shy and would be awful on a 1 to 1 meet so I feel that would be unfair to both parties.

Most of the lovely friends I have made are from clubs or parties and have fab accounts so here I can make contact with them all in one place also check when they are going to clubs as I like to go when I have a couple of familiar faces there.

As for the messages I receive here..they are plentiful but I reply to everyone of them. I'm pretty chubby and funnily enough if a really toned fit guy messaged me I tend to get too self conscious and would rather not strike up a connection to them! I must get supermodel nerves..lol. having said that I do have preferences like everyone.. not keen on bald heads..hairy backs. .but that's just me. I never string anyone along or try not to..have had great chats with strangers but I always explain I only go to clubs. . I'm still a swinger though x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No ones going to settle for burgers when you can have steak"

A good burger is more filling than a ropey steak

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"No ones going to settle for burgers when you can have steak"

Unless its kicking out time on a Friday, the fridge has no steak in it and the burger van is so sexily flipping its burgers saying 'Eat me, eat me' and then any hole is a goal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I absolutely detest sexist generalisations but there are some links to biology which are irrefutable. Men are more programmed to spread their seed far and wide, to maximise chances of fathering progeny. Women are much more selective as they would bear any child themselves. It's got nothing to do with fab or the ratio of males to females, a convo with my vanilla friends will show they have strict criteria for guys they date, just as women do in the swinging world.

Your comment about arrogance of women 'despite being far from a supermodel' is offensive and shallow. Do you really believe that because a woman is less attractive to you personally (and let's remember attraction is highly subjective) she should somehow abandon her standards and accept someone she doesn't find attractive. Everyone, men included, has the freedom to specify who they want to meet.

Plenty of people come on here to chat or to keep in touch with friends without meeting and that's entirely up to them. Maybe they have a health or family issue that precludes meets at the current time? Likewise if she doesn't want cock pics, but the men she contacts appreciate her pussy pics again that's up to her. If you don't like that profile then move to the next.

It's all about choices, you have yours and women on here have theirs too.

It's not offensive and shallow. It might be if women didn't specify the same on their profile, which many, many do.

If I was offensive and shallow I wouldn't have married my wife, when she was a size 24/26. It was merely an observation of the differing status quo between men and women. If, as someone that was a few stone overweight myself, specified that I wished to be very selective towards a certain body type/look, my chances as a single male would reduce from very low to non existent.

I would say that given the amount of positive feedback I had from my original post, both from men and women, that you _iews are in the minority...

Well I agree with the post, personally. I'm sure plenty of others do too.

Obviously, a lot of men will agree with you because "it's not fair" and there are more men on the site than women, so your feedback might well not be very balanced.

I'm surprised someone so able to put together an articulate post can't see the problem with saying only supermodels have a right to have preferences and make choices.

I'm not saying that. You've completely misinterpreted my comments. I'm merely stating that most men unless extremely fit/are rich don't have the same luxury on here..."
The people that use fab are People that you would or could meet most days In the street or wherever else you went people you could chat with converse with as on here not sure You would get any super models on here But who knows.. there,s someone for everyone somewhere..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a site like Fab, men will always chase, and women will always choose. And who can blame women for making the best choice they can. Men would do exactly the same if they could. Sure, there are some women who let it go to their heads and have an elevated _iew of their appeal, but I'm sure most know exactly what's going on and have their feet firmly on the ground.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"

I absolutely detest sexist generalisations but there are some links to biology which are irrefutable. Men are more programmed to spread their seed far and wide, to maximise chances of fathering progeny. Women are much more selective as they would bear any child themselves. It's got nothing to do with fab or the ratio of males to females, a convo with my vanilla friends will show they have strict criteria for guys they date, just as women do in the swinging world.

Your comment about arrogance of women 'despite being far from a supermodel' is offensive and shallow. Do you really believe that because a woman is less attractive to you personally (and let's remember attraction is highly subjective) she should somehow abandon her standards and accept someone she doesn't find attractive. Everyone, men included, has the freedom to specify who they want to meet.

Plenty of people come on here to chat or to keep in touch with friends without meeting and that's entirely up to them. Maybe they have a health or family issue that precludes meets at the current time? Likewise if she doesn't want cock pics, but the men she contacts appreciate her pussy pics again that's up to her. If you don't like that profile then move to the next.

It's all about choices, you have yours and women on here have theirs too.

It's not offensive and shallow. It might be if women didn't specify the same on their profile, which many, many do.

If I was offensive and shallow I wouldn't have married my wife, when she was a size 24/26. It was merely an observation of the differing status quo between men and women. If, as someone that was a few stone overweight myself, specified that I wished to be very selective towards a certain body type/look, my chances as a single male would reduce from very low to non existent.

I would say that given the amount of positive feedback I had from my original post, both from men and women, that you _iews are in the minority...

Well I agree with the post, personally. I'm sure plenty of others do too.

Obviously, a lot of men will agree with you because "it's not fair" and there are more men on the site than women, so your feedback might well not be very balanced.

I'm surprised someone so able to put together an articulate post can't see the problem with saying only supermodels have a right to have preferences and make choices.

I'm not saying that. You've completely misinterpreted my comments. I'm merely stating that most men unless extremely fit/are rich don't have the same luxury on here..."

Well you did actually make that comment about supermodels.

But no, men find it more difficult to meet on here. There are fewer women. I suspect there are a few reasons for that. Has it occurred to you though that this is a difficult environment for single women quite often and many get driven away or just can't be bothered with it?

Some men do themselves no favours on here and actually drive away that which they join the site for.

It takes a certain type of woman to survive on here. Meeting in the real world is often easier.

A lot of men think women have it really easy on here. We would if we just wanted a shag with anyone and were willing to meet (and usually accommodate) at a moment's notice. The reality is that it's not nearly as easy or great as some men think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"First time posting in this forum so first up, hope this is in the right area...

My post below is honest and will be, in parts pretty blunt and will possibly offend, but I hope it doesn't. It is my honest appraisal and perception of the situation.

So I'm a 'single' male. Except not really. I'm married and my wife and I play together and separately. When together we have met some absolutely lovely people and have a very positive outlook on that.

A few weeks back we decided to add single profiles to here - both saying we were happily married. At this point I would say, having looked at numerous female profiles, that there is a huge general difference of opinion between the sexes...

Married man contacts single female whose perception is 'omg you're married that's disgusting'.

Married woman sets up profile on here. Single male perception is 'omg married woman, just wants one thing, get in!'

Further experiences of single women on here, as well as other websites, is that many women set up profiles for validation. It appears they want attention without having any intention of meeting anyone. Examples of this are the many statuses of 'not meeting currently' when the person is clearly smashing refresh every few minutes to end up top of the search. Further examples include statuses of 'oh dear, just deleted all my messages by accident' - cue next barrage of messages.

There's also an absolute ton of hypocrisy involved. Women saying 'no cock pics' - an outlook which is absolutely fine and something I think is probably correct - but then their 'bits' are plastered all over their own profile! Another example of this is the incessant list of demands of women on here, of which they fail to fulfil many of themselves - bbw women seeking muscular men only, for example.

Personally I sent about 40 messages to single women and got 4 replies. 3 polite rejections and 1 who ran for the hills when I said I was married (which I do mention in my profile). Hopefully you will realise from this post that I'm articulate and managed to cobble together a pretty decent opening message...

On the flip side my wife had 80 messages within 4 hours of her profile being active, despite having no profile picture...

There's a clear supply and demand issue here obviously so I suppose its logical that women have the power in this situation, but it's actually quite repulsive to see the arrogance of some women on here, despite being far from a supermodel.

Overall I have found the experience pretty demoralising and I am very likely not to bother any more. From seeing how my wife reads messages I can offer guys some advice:-

Your message doesn't hugely matter. If there's no attraction you have no chance. Messages only matter if there's an attraction. It's a filtering process.

Also it would be interesting to see on average how many hours effort it takes for a single male to get 'action' on here. I'm not advocating this for one moment as I'm against the concept, but if you multiplied the hours spent by an average hourly pay rate, you'd probably be financially and mentally better off seeing prostitutes."

Welcome to reality lol articulate but confused by what's gone on for as long as anyone can remember ! Prostitution is the oldest profession for a reason is nt it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"....Yes, the women have the power here by reason of supply and demand

"

I don't agree that women have the power. It comes down to your perception. There isn't a woman alive who can have a man who doesn't want her.

Yes supply and demand may suggest that on here a woman can be choosy, but she cannot be choosy over any man who hasn't in some way chosen her.

There is no advantage in recieving lots of messages from people you don't find attractive. That's not real power.

The 'Fab dynamic' works both ways. This is not some mythical nirvana for single women. Many struggle to consistently find what they're looking for. Some don't, but the same can be said for single guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I absolutely detest sexist generalisations but there are some links to biology which are irrefutable. Men are more programmed to spread their seed far and wide, to maximise chances of fathering progeny. Women are much more selective as they would bear any child themselves. It's got nothing to do with fab or the ratio of males to females, a convo with my vanilla friends will show they have strict criteria for guys they date, just as women do in the swinging world.

Your comment about arrogance of women 'despite being far from a supermodel' is offensive and shallow. Do you really believe that because a woman is less attractive to you personally (and let's remember attraction is highly subjective) she should somehow abandon her standards and accept someone she doesn't find attractive. Everyone, men included, has the freedom to specify who they want to meet.

Plenty of people come on here to chat or to keep in touch with friends without meeting and that's entirely up to them. Maybe they have a health or family issue that precludes meets at the current time? Likewise if she doesn't want cock pics, but the men she contacts appreciate her pussy pics again that's up to her. If you don't like that profile then move to the next.

It's all about choices, you have yours and women on here have theirs too.

It's not offensive and shallow. It might be if women didn't specify the same on their profile, which many, many do.

If I was offensive and shallow I wouldn't have married my wife, when she was a size 24/26. It was merely an observation of the differing status quo between men and women. If, as someone that was a few stone overweight myself, specified that I wished to be very selective towards a certain body type/look, my chances as a single male would reduce from very low to non existent.

I would say that given the amount of positive feedback I had from my original post, both from men and women, that you _iews are in the minority...

Well I agree with the post, personally. I'm sure plenty of others do too.

Obviously, a lot of men will agree with you because "it's not fair" and there are more men on the site than women, so your feedback might well not be very balanced.

I'm surprised someone so able to put together an articulate post can't see the problem with saying only supermodels have a right to have preferences and make choices.

I'm not saying that. You've completely misinterpreted my comments. I'm merely stating that most men unless extremely fit/are rich don't have the same luxury on here...

Well you did actually make that comment about supermodels.

But no, men find it more difficult to meet on here. There are fewer women. I suspect there are a few reasons for that. Has it occurred to you though that this is a difficult environment for single women quite often and many get driven away or just can't be bothered with it?

Some men do themselves no favours on here and actually drive away that which they join the site for.

It takes a certain type of woman to survive on here. Meeting in the real world is often easier.

A lot of men think women have it really easy on here. We would if we just wanted a shag with anyone and were willing to meet (and usually accommodate) at a moment's notice. The reality is that it's not nearly as easy or great as some men think."

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By *imon07Man
over a year ago

Ealing

Spot on!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"....Yes, the women have the power here by reason of supply and demand

I don't agree that women have the power. It comes down to your perception. There isn't a woman alive who can have a man who doesn't want her.

Yes supply and demand may suggest that on here a woman can be choosy, but she cannot be choosy over any man who hasn't in some way chosen her.

There is no advantage in recieving lots of messages from people you don't find attractive. That's not real power.

The 'Fab dynamic' works both ways. This is not some mythical nirvana for single women. Many struggle to consistently find what they're looking for. Some don't, but the same can be said for single guys.

"

Absolutely correct!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"....Yes, the women have the power here by reason of supply and demand

I don't agree that women have the power. It comes down to your perception. There isn't a woman alive who can have a man who doesn't want her.

Yes supply and demand may suggest that on here a woman can be choosy, but she cannot be choosy over any man who hasn't in some way chosen her.

There is no advantage in recieving lots of messages from people you don't find attractive. That's not real power.

The 'Fab dynamic' works both ways. This is not some mythical nirvana for single women. Many struggle to consistently find what they're looking for. Some don't, but the same can be said for single guys.

"

that is one of the most sensible posts I have read on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"....Yes, the women have the power here by reason of supply and demand

I don't agree that women have the power. It comes down to your perception. There isn't a woman alive who can have a man who doesn't want her.

Yes supply and demand may suggest that on here a woman can be choosy, but she cannot be choosy over any man who hasn't in some way chosen her.

There is no advantage in recieving lots of messages from people you don't find attractive. That's not real power.

The 'Fab dynamic' works both ways. This is not some mythical nirvana for single women. Many struggle to consistently find what they're looking for. Some don't, but the same can be said for single guys.

that is one of the most sensible posts I have read on here.

"

said the woman with her fanny hanging out

sorry couldnt resist its all in jest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"....Yes, the women have the power here by reason of supply and demand

I don't agree that women have the power. It comes down to your perception. There isn't a woman alive who can have a man who doesn't want her.

Yes supply and demand may suggest that on here a woman can be choosy, but she cannot be choosy over any man who hasn't in some way chosen her.

There is no advantage in recieving lots of messages from people you don't find attractive. That's not real power.

The 'Fab dynamic' works both ways. This is not some mythical nirvana for single women. Many struggle to consistently find what they're looking for. Some don't, but the same can be said for single guys.

that is one of the most sensible posts I have read on here.

"
Yes I agree but I also find It Quite sad that sex can do this to people 24/7.. how ever pleasureable it Can be If people consistently struggle To find what their looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'm not saying that. You've completely misinterpreted my comments. I'm merely stating that most men unless extremely fit/are rich don't have the same luxury on here..."

But they do, but they choose not to in order to cast their nets wide and get some 'action'. Any meet is better than no meet?!

A woman will often accept she may not get ANY meets because she doesn't feel anyone is what she's looking for and is totally fine with that, I know I am.

Maybe men should try looking at it in the same way?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I'm not saying that. You've completely misinterpreted my comments. I'm merely stating that most men unless extremely fit/are rich don't have the same luxury on here...

But they do, but they choose not to in order to cast their nets wide and get some 'action'. Any meet is better than no meet?!

A woman will often accept she may not get ANY meets because she doesn't feel anyone is what she's looking for and is totally fine with that, I know I am.

Maybe men should try looking at it in the same way?

"

Definitely an element of truth in that, and an interesting perspective on things.

However it's quite easy to be more selective when you're in demand than when you're not, so it's quite natural many men have the 'cast net wide' perspective.

Would be pretty interesting to hear experiences of men taking the selective approach or cast net wide approach, and why they take the approach they do...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all about having what people want, men want to shag women.

It's a bit like the fox and his dinner, it's not going to run into his mouth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's all about having what people want, men want to shag women.

It's a bit like the fox and his dinner, it's not going to run into his mouth.

"

No it isn't. Women want to have sex too you know. They're not helpless prey waiting to be hunted. Some are very good at spinning a web.

Just because the fly came to the spider, doesn't mean the fly is in control!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women are overwhelmed with guys on here. I've hidden my profile because I don't want to meet anyone at the moment but when I could receive messages this place was like my own personal hall of gratuitous praise. Easily getting 100 or more messages a day off guys. But alas, my heart belongs to another and at the moment all I can hear in my head is Yvonne Ellimans ~ if I can't have you I don't want nobody baby! I'll know in January if my love will be returned, if it is I'll pack up my bag of tricks and be gone, if he doesn't want to know then my profile will be active again and I'll be on the hunt for love and girth.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"

I'm not saying that. You've completely misinterpreted my comments. I'm merely stating that most men unless extremely fit/are rich don't have the same luxury on here...

But they do, but they choose not to in order to cast their nets wide and get some 'action'. Any meet is better than no meet?!

A woman will often accept she may not get ANY meets because she doesn't feel anyone is what she's looking for and is totally fine with that, I know I am.

Maybe men should try looking at it in the same way?

"

Absolutely!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"

I'm not saying that. You've completely misinterpreted my comments. I'm merely stating that most men unless extremely fit/are rich don't have the same luxury on here...

But they do, but they choose not to in order to cast their nets wide and get some 'action'. Any meet is better than no meet?!

A woman will often accept she may not get ANY meets because she doesn't feel anyone is what she's looking for and is totally fine with that, I know I am.

Maybe men should try looking at it in the same way?

Definitely an element of truth in that, and an interesting perspective on things.

However it's quite easy to be more selective when you're in demand than when you're not, so it's quite natural many men have the 'cast net wide' perspective.

Would be pretty interesting to hear experiences of men taking the selective approach or cast net wide approach, and why they take the approach they do..."

Being in demand by people you aren't interested in is no better than not being in demand.

All it means is a lot of "hi" and "fancy a fuck?" messages and cock pics, and a lot of men complaining when they don't get replies to them.

It's really nothing to be envious of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On a site like Fab, men will always chase, and women will always choose. And who can blame women for making the best choice they can. Men would do exactly the same if they could. Sure, there are some women who let it go to their heads and have an elevated _iew of their appeal, but I'm sure most know exactly what's going on and have their feet firmly on the ground."

I'd probably agree with this, within reason - though some women's lack of awareness is amusing and I'm sure men, couples, etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im using the 'let the mountain come to mohammad' approach and wait until the women message me first..my facking mail box it complete empty mind you and I am still waiting..but never mind..im on my hands and knees every night praying that I will have a message in the morning..its not happening yet but were there is life there is hope..one day my friend one day...

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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago

A seaside town near you!


"Hi Op

I concur that you're right on every point - but please don't think it's utopia for single fems on here!

I get hundreds of messages a day - so many that I frequently have to hide my profile whilst I sort them.

The majority of messages with fall into 3 categories:

1 Here's my cock want a fuck?

2 How's your day?

3 How are you finding fab?

Only some will have the face and torso pic that I clearly ask for.

However - of the small number who get through the filtering process - at least 50% will be here for an ego boost and have no intention of actually meeting anyone because they frankly don't have the balls!! I've had my time wasted as often as any single man on here I can assure you!

Overall i'd say I actually meet about 1% of the people who message me - which is why I often leave the messages and head to the forums for some entertainment, friendship and sanity!! xxx"

Well said hun...I agree wholeheartedly!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No ones going to settle for burgers when you can have steak

Unless its kicking out time on a Friday, the fridge has no steak in it and the burger van is so sexily flipping its burgers saying 'Eat me, eat me' and then any hole is a goal "

Great analogy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No ones going to settle for burgers when you can have steak

Unless its kicking out time on a Friday, the fridge has no steak in it and the burger van is so sexily flipping its burgers saying 'Eat me, eat me' and then any hole is a goal

Great analogy "

Indeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's all about having what people want, men want to shag women.

It's a bit like the fox and his dinner, it's not going to run into his mouth.

No it isn't. Women want to have sex too you know. They're not helpless prey waiting to be hunted. Some are very good at spinning a web.

Just because the fly came to the spider, doesn't mean the fly is in control!"

I'm sorry but in the vast majority it does mean just that. I think the ops point, or part of it is the direct incongruity of peoples experiences and directly how men can't sit back and be selective. There are a few very fit, well endowed and articulate men who can and will dictate terms, Mr average has to be in the right place at the right time with the right message and even then may well not get noticed.

I tend to think that people who are so very selective and scrupulous with whom they reply to are not necessarily people that I'd want to be around in general, I prefer more gregarious people who are willing to talk to a person rather than conduct a long drawn out tick box exercise that reduces me to a list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's all about having what people want, men want to shag women.

It's a bit like the fox and his dinner, it's not going to run into his mouth.

No it isn't. Women want to have sex too you know. They're not helpless prey waiting to be hunted. Some are very good at spinning a web.

Just because the fly came to the spider, doesn't mean the fly is in control!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The opening post in this thread is the most dignified teddy throwing exercise I have seen in some time.

Kudos

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"....Yes, the women have the power here by reason of supply and demand

I don't agree that women have the power. It comes down to your perception. There isn't a woman alive who can have a man who doesn't want her.

Yes supply and demand may suggest that on here a woman can be choosy, but she cannot be choosy over any man who hasn't in some way chosen her.

There is no advantage in recieving lots of messages from people you don't find attractive. That's not real power.

The 'Fab dynamic' works both ways. This is not some mythical nirvana for single women. Many struggle to consistently find what they're looking for. Some don't, but the same can be said for single guys.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a woman just wants to be fucked by anyone she will be having a whale of a time on here

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 20/11/14 20:32:05]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Welcome and my advice is

Take it all with a pinch of salt...

It's fun, it's maddening, it's sexually exciting, it is challenging, it's hypocrital at times, it's an add on to an already sexually fulfilling life......

Good luck

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