FabSwingers.com forum: Favourite Blackadder quotes.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As guilty as a puppy sat next to a pile of poo.

Whats yours?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Wooof!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The End

Gimpy

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

Baldrick you're fired

But my Lord Ive been in your family since 1542

So has syphilis. Now get out

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Baldrick, take a short holiday.

Thank you my lord.

Did you enjoy it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good luck everybody

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By *umasutraCouple
over a year ago

Guildford

"Baldrick you're fired

But my Lord Ive been in your family since 1542

So has syphilis. Now get out"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you OP . . Epic thread idea. I'll be all other this like a rash . . Right . . Lets start with ' she drags me all the way across town to play about the weakest practical joke since Cardinal Wolsey got his knob out at Hampton Court, and stood at the end of the aisle pretending to be a door'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have never been so insulted in our lives

Well you've been damn lucky!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But that was rather funny my lord. . Oh shut up Baldrick, you'd laugh at a shakespear comedy

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Anything said by Brian Blessed in series 1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the devil's own satanic herd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't be too encouraged your highness . . Baldrick's last cunning plan was to solve his mother's low ceiling problem, by cutting off her head

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

A plan so cunning you can hang a tail on it and call it a weasel.

My life is strewn with cowpats from the devils own Satanic herds!

Blackadder: I thought it was common maritime practise to have a crew.

Rum: Well, opinion on the matter is divided m'Lord. All the other captains say it is. I say it isn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Percy . . It's up to you. . Either you can shut up . . Or you can have your head cut off

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

The Baby Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells: You fiend! Never have I encountered such corrupt and foul-minded perversity! Have you ever considered a career in the church?!

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

She's got a tongue like an electric eel, and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils.

Woof!

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By *each_PittWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

Wibble

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey Nursey . . Like the beard . .gives me something to HANG ON TO ! (RIP Rik)

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Wellington: The men had a whip-round and got you this. Well, what I mean is I had the men roundly whipped until they got you this. It's a cigarillo case engraved with the regimental crest of two crossed dead Frenchmen, emblazoned on a mound of dead Frenchmen motif.

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By *on101bristolMan
over a year ago

Bristol

We're in the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sausage time!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've been sitting here since Christmas 1914, during which time millions of men have died, and we've advanced no further than an asthmatic ant with some heavy shopping.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

[Removed by poster at 15/11/14 13:08:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't want to be pedantic Percy, but the colour of gold is gold, that's why it's called gold . What you have discovered, if indeed it has a name, is some . . . Green !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got an idea and its as hot as my pants!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words 'I have a cunning plan' marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm as happy as a frenchman who's just invented a pair of self removing trousers !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the phrase rhymes with clucking bell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm afraid he was a 3rd rate sailor . . But we was a 1st rate second course

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

BOB

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wetter than a haddocks bathing costume"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like you 'bob', you've got balls !

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

cracking quotes..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love queeny, she's hot. Not a quote just my opinion

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Baaaa

Oh Edmund

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man may fight for many things. His country, his principles, his friends. The glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally,I'd mud wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock send a stack of french porn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A plan so cunning you can hang a tail on it and call it a weasel.

My life is strewn with cowpats from the devils own Satanic herds!

Blackadder: I thought it was common maritime practise to have a crew.

Rum: Well, opinion on the matter is divided m'Lord. All the other captains say it is. I say it isn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sausage? Sausage?!!

A plan as cunning as a fox who has just been made professor of cunning at oxford?

The flanders pigeon murderer

Baaaaaaaaa.

Ah cappuccino.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much do you charge for a good hard shag? A thousand pounds.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Hello Darling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello Darling"

The last person I called darling was pregnant 15 seconds later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Treat your kite like your women.

You mean take them home to meet your mother?

No. I mean climb inside her 5 times a day and take her to heaven and back.

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By *ibbyhunterCouple
over a year ago

keighley

when talking about baldricks hidden savings,,,, seen it, knicked it,, spent it ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you looking forward to the big push?

No sir, I'm absolutely terrified.

The healthy humor of the honest tommy. Don't worry my boy, if you should falter, remember that Captain Darling and I are behind you.

About thirty-five miles behind you.

How true!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Captain Blackadder: What amazes me, Baldrick, is how you managed to get so much custard out of such a small cat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would it be possible for you to pause in between the words 'aim' and 'fire' ? For about 30 years ? Ah now that's the trouble sir . . I tend to let it all out at once. . READYAIMFIRE ! You see sir ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I shall wreap my rewengy !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you looking forward to the big push?

No sir, I'm absolutely terrified.

The healthy humor of the honest tommy. Don't worry my boy, if you should falter, remember that Captain Darling and I are behind you.

About thirty-five miles behind you.

How true!

My favourite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blackadder i challenged you to a drinking contest and i haven't seen you touch a drop. You twist and turn like a . . Twisty turny thing !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wicked child ! Don't call me aunty ! Aunt is a relative and relatives are evidence of sex. Hardly a subject fit for the dinner table. . Or indeed any table. Except for the table in a brothel !

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Blackadder: You mean he’s dead?

Amy: Yes, dead as that squirrel!

Blackadder: Which squirrel?

(Bang, eep, thud)

Oh that squirrel!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And you ! Has anyone ever told you you're a giggling imbecile ? Oh yes ! Good !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Father. . I'm in love with a frightful whoopsie and I'm an opium addict. . And mother didn't die I killed her . . Never mind dear !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They may go round saying, look there's thick George, he's got the brain the size of a weasel's wedding tackle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Father. . You didn't nothing to defend my honour. Oh shut your trap you pregnant junkie fag hag !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

C. . Big blue wobbly thing that fish live in . Dog. . Not a cat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a mans tonsils

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fancy a licqourice alsort?

Don't mind if I do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't believe I've been so stupid.

Yeah, that is strange cause normally, I'm the stupid one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Given my ordeal sir I wonder if I might be allowed a week's leave ? Well your commanding officer would have to be stark raving mad to refuse you. But you are my commanding officer sir. Exactly ! In that case may i have week's leave sir ? CERTAINLY NOT ! Thank you sir . BHAAAA !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The western fronts been as likely to move as a Frenchman who lives next door to a brothel !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now look, I might be as thick as a whale omelette , but isn't it going to be a bit tricky for me to patronise Doctor Johnson's book if you've burnt it ?

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By *uriousNPCouple
over a year ago

newport

BlackAdder : "Get A Move On.. He's A Prositute Not An Agony Aunt!"

We Are Both Big Fans Of BlackAdder And Are Actually On A B.A Stint Right Now So Had To Comment xD

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know you. . You're Merlin . . The happy pig !

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"BOB"

We like Bob also

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See the little goblin, see his little feet, and his little nosey-wose, isn't the goblin sweet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would these be the secret battle plans that include the complete slaughter of the entire british army apart from Lord Haig, Lady Haig and their tortoise Alan ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're about as similar as two completely dissimilar things in a pod.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey Melchy. . Still worshipping God ? Last I heard he'd started worshipping ME ! AHAAHAAHAHA

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I particularly liked your turnip. . Exactly the same shape. . As a thingy !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Queeny: How could you be sure it was not Nursie?

Edmund: Because, My Lady, Ludwig was a master of disguise, whereas Nursie is a sad, insane old woman with a udder fixation.

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

Don't think these have been quoted earlier in the thread,?

Baldricks 1st world war poem. Boom, boom boom boom, boom boom boom boom..........

Same series, 'wibble'

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

"There's only one problem with your plan Baldrick ....its bollocks."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cold is Gods way of telling us to burn more catholics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll have my money by sunrise Blackadder or . . .YOUR BOTTOM WILL WISH IT HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man may fight for many things. His country, his principles, his friends. The glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally, I'd mud-wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock and a sack of French porn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maam. . Life without you was like a broken pencil . Explain ? . . Pointless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flash: Always treat your kite like you treat your woman.

George: How do you mean, sir, take her at home on weekends to meet your mother?

Flash: No. I mean get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back!!

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By *rettyLittleThingWoman
over a year ago

Swansea

"Flash: Always treat your kite like you treat your woman.

George: How do you mean, sir, take her at home on weekends to meet your mother?

Flash: No. I mean get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back!!"

Loved Flash and Rik Mayall

"We're in the stickiest situation since sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many great quotes.. I miss there being new episodes every season...

Now all have to look forward to is great sex.

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By *rSteve6Man
over a year ago

Bolton and Pattaya,Thailand

'PERMISSION TO SAY SOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH CLUCKING BELLS'

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