FabSwingers.com forum: THE HORNY LION PUBLIC HOUSE

By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

It's back by popular demand, currently under temporary management and staff, until hopefully we see the Lion back behind the bar for good.

Pull up a seat, it's nearly the weekend, what you drinking?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's back by popular demand, currently under temporary management and staff, until hopefully we see the Lion back behind the bar for good.

Pull up a seat, it's nearly the weekend, what you drinking? "

Large Gin & Tonic please, ice and slice of lime and a wink from the barmaid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oo bit early really but a mid afternoon g & t never did anybody much harm - ice and a slice please xxx

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Fucking heck what a barmaid she is aswell.

I'll just have a for now.

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Oooo...

First customer

Need to make a good first impression!

An easy one to start

and a cheeky little wink coming right up

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"Fucking heck what a barmaid she is aswell.

I'll just have a for now."

and a with ice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Afternoon barkeep, shocking weather out there... Large Bloody Mary to kick things off i think!

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Fucking heck what a barmaid she is aswell.

I'll just have a for now.

and a with ice? "

I seriously dont mind, if this was a real pub Id be there in my tracksuit trying to hide my angry boner.

Dont be put off, its a compliment

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"Fucking heck what a barmaid she is aswell.

I'll just have a for now.

and a with ice?

I seriously dont mind, if this was a real pub Id be there in my tracksuit trying to hide my angry boner.

Dont be put off, its a compliment"

Lol... Thick skinned bar staff you know

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"oo bit early really but a mid afternoon g & t never did anybody much harm - ice and a slice please xxx"

Sorry, here's your drink...run tagged here... Fancy helping out?

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Pugligny Montrachet se il vous plait

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Fucking heck what a barmaid she is aswell.

I'll just have a for now.

and a with ice?

I seriously dont mind, if this was a real pub Id be there in my tracksuit trying to hide my angry boner.

Dont be put off, its a compliment

Lol... Thick skinned bar staff you know

A bit like a bouncers head.

Well dont tell them about the pervert in the corner please.

I would expect you to bring my over aswell, you'd have to to be fair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dirty Martini please. Where is the usual landlord ? Rehab again ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oooo...

First customer

Need to make a good first impression!

An easy one to start

and a cheeky little wink coming right up

why thank you

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"Pugligny Montrachet se il vous plait

Consulting the "new temporary landlords handbook" for that one!

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Pugligny Montrachet se il vous plait

Consulting the "new temporary landlords handbook" for that one!

If you have some I'll have it with lemonade

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I'll have a pint of the usual and a pack of dry roast please

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Large scotch please x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Double southern comfort ,lemonade and lime please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vodka and please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flagon o' Grog please,it's been a helluva day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pint of large and a whisky chaser please... well it is Friday. And have one yourself.

Do you have a plasma TV showing the football? No? Thank fuck for that

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

You really can't get the same standard of staff in pubs these days! No bar staff for hours....Poor!

Trying to run a pub as well as your day jobs a nightmare! A good one though.

Sorry to leave you all hanging dry!

As an apology to all those who ordered above this rounds on us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"oo bit early really but a mid afternoon g & t never did anybody much harm - ice and a slice please xxx

Sorry, here's your drink...run tagged here... Fancy helping out? "

sorry got called away - yes sleeves rolled up and happy to assist - collect the empties shall i and wipe down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now I've finished running errands, I'll take a nice cold pint something refreshing please. Staff choice

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

Could I get a wine and lemonade please white or rose whichever comes to hand first

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Could I get a wine and lemonade please white or rose whichever comes to hand first

And where's mine....

The wine as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

here you go - no idea where the boss has gone - im collecting- chatting - washing up - now serving - sheesh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"here you go - no idea where the boss has gone - im collecting- chatting - washing up - now serving - sheesh "

The anarchy rules now that the landlord is UNLOS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I poured myself a vodka and fizzy fruit water. Bloody service in here has gone right downhill. Nothing like it was in my day. I'm blaming them young hooligans,no respect any more. During the war...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"here you go - no idea where the boss has gone - im collecting- chatting - washing up - now serving - sheesh

The anarchy rules now that the landlord is UNLOS

when i was asked if i wasnted to help didnt know id be doing the lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I poured myself a vodka and fizzy fruit water. Bloody service in here has gone right downhill. Nothing like it was in my day. I'm blaming them young hooligans,no respect any more. During the war..."

here have a bag of scratchings - on the house

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By *atinaBabeCouple
over a year ago

casa caliente

Calvados pour moi please lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Calvados pour moi please lol"

oo that smells yum

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln

a double vodka and please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I poured myself a vodka and fizzy fruit water. Bloody service in here has gone right downhill. Nothing like it was in my day. I'm blaming them young hooligans,no respect any more. During the war...

here have a bag of scratchings - on the house"

Thanks. I'll sit over here in the corner minding me own business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could I have a nice glass of Rioja please...? Just like I had last night.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

double voddie and a rioja coming up - and save me a spot in that corner im going to come and hide there in a moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some nice warm creamy liquid please x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 large vodka and diet please. On girls night out.

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Blimey ... It's busy in here!

Some "swingers" would you believe it accosted us in the cellar looking for their car keys, and we've both had a hard time trying to get away from them with our dignity in tact! Phew!

Back to business, has everybody got there drinks now?

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"double voddie and a rioja coming up - and save me a spot in that corner im going to come and hide there in a moment"

You can't hide now!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"double voddie and a rioja coming up - and save me a spot in that corner im going to come and hide there in a moment"

You can come sit right next to me darling. I'll tell you some of me old war stories

*pat pat*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"double voddie and a rioja coming up - and save me a spot in that corner im going to come and hide there in a moment

You can't hide now!!!!

im due a break = gonna listen to some stories and have a little nibble whilst im there

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"double voddie and a rioja coming up - and save me a spot in that corner im going to come and hide there in a moment

You can't hide now!!!!

im due a break = gonna listen to some stories and have a little nibble whilst im there "

You've definitely earnt one...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

grabs a sneaky jd n - ice n slice and scoots

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"grabs a sneaky jd n - ice n slice and scoots"

Sounds nice... We've not had a drink all day, despite our absence... Think we might have a quick G&T while it's quiet.

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln

Can I have another double vodka and please?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the house policy on feeling up the staff?

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"Can I have another double vodka and please? "

On it's way

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"What's the house policy on feeling up the staff?

Lol... Quite a relaxed one

As long as we can have a feel back ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the house policy on feeling up the staff?

Lol... Quite a relaxed one

As long as we can have a feel back .... "

ooooooo might request some overtime then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Better warm me hands up then

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"What's the house policy on feeling up the staff?

Lol... Quite a relaxed one

As long as we can have a feel back ....

ooooooo might request some overtime then

Overtime request accepted.

We've warmed our hands up too....and as it only seems to be us in here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the house policy on feeling up the staff?

Lol... Quite a relaxed one

As long as we can have a feel back ....

ooooooo might request some overtime then

Overtime request accepted.

We've warmed our hands up too....and as it only seems to be us in here

Nobody'll notice if we ermmmmm, slip away for a moment or two then

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"What's the house policy on feeling up the staff?

Lol... Quite a relaxed one

As long as we can have a feel back ....

ooooooo might request some overtime then

Overtime request accepted.

We've warmed our hands up too....and as it only seems to be us in here

Nobody'll notice if we ermmmmm, slip away for a moment or two then

Our thoughts exactly... The bars empty for this time on a Friday... Let's just sneak over in the corner... There's a rather attractive blonde barmaid over there too...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perfect, the more the merrier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the house policy on feeling up the staff?

Lol... Quite a relaxed one

As long as we can have a feel back ....

ooooooo might request some overtime then

Overtime request accepted.

We've warmed our hands up too....and as it only seems to be us in here

Nobody'll notice if we ermmmmm, slip away for a moment or two then

Our thoughts exactly... The bars empty for this time on a Friday... Let's just sneak over in the corner... There's a rather attractive blonde barmaid over there too...

starts rubbing hands together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the house policy on feeling up the staff?

Hold on in waiting to be served

I need a glass, actually make that a pint of wine!!!

Oh and some salty snacks....thanks

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Shall we crack open a bottle of bubbly to celebrate the sneaky little moresome in the corner?

How many glasses?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the house policy on feeling up the staff?

Lol... Quite a relaxed one

As long as we can have a feel back ....

ooooooo might request some overtime then

Overtime request accepted.

We've warmed our hands up too....and as it only seems to be us in here

Nobody'll notice if we ermmmmm, slip away for a moment or two then

Our thoughts exactly... The bars empty for this time on a Friday... Let's just sneak over in the corner... There's a rather attractive blonde barmaid over there too...

starts rubbing hands together

Now we've all got warm hands, who's first?

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"What's the house policy on feeling up the staff?

Hold on in waiting to be served

I need a glass, actually make that a pint of wine!!!

Oh and some salty snacks....thanks

Sorry... Got distracted!

A pint! That sounds like a splendid idea...

Oh and some salty snacks..

Now where were we

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the house policy on feeling up the staff?

Hold on in waiting to be served

I need a glass, actually make that a pint of wine!!!

Oh and some salty snacks....thanks

Sorry... Got distracted!

A pint! That sounds like a splendid idea...

Oh and some salty snacks..

Now where were we

Warm n lecherous hands...................;)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the house policy on feeling up the staff?

Hold on in waiting to be served

I need a glass, actually make that a pint of wine!!!

Oh and some salty snacks....thanks

Sorry... Got distracted!

A pint! That sounds like a splendid idea...

Oh and some salty snacks..

Now where were we

Thank you my lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the house policy on feeling up the staff?

Hold on in waiting to be served

I need a glass, actually make that a pint of wine!!!

Oh and some salty snacks....thanks

Sorry... Got distracted!

A pint! That sounds like a splendid idea...

Oh and some salty snacks..

Now where were we

Thank you my lovely

Come n join the corner party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im actually in the mood for one of those bucket cocktails - and i found a box of those enormously long straws when i was tidying up in the back room - anybody want to make one up- anything for me so long as its not coconutty or aniseedy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My signature cocktail is a hollowed out pineapple with the juice squeezed back into it, rum, pear brandy and lots of berries n crushed ice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My signature cocktail is a hollowed out pineapple with the juice squeezed back into it, rum, pear brandy and lots of berries n crushed ice."

that will do

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Patron Silver Tequila please....lime wedge and a pinch of salt.

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"My signature cocktail is a hollowed out pineapple with the juice squeezed back into it, rum, pear brandy and lots of berries n crushed ice.

that will do "

That sounds lovely... We should name it as the house special!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the house policy on feeling up the staff?

Hold on in waiting to be served

I need a glass, actually make that a pint of wine!!!

Oh and some salty snacks....thanks

Sorry... Got distracted!

A pint! That sounds like a splendid idea...

Oh and some salty snacks..

Now where were we

Thank you my lovely

Come n join the corner party

Thought you'd never ask....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My signature cocktail is a hollowed out pineapple with the juice squeezed back into it, rum, pear brandy and lots of berries n crushed ice.

that will do

That sounds lovely... We should name it as the house special!

the hornylion it is then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The horny lions love potion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The horny lions love potion

love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

liking the pineapple effect too

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Anybody need a top up....?

These are lovely, going down far too well!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"liking the pineapple effect too

That's a bonus side effect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bloody lovely isnt it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its never too early for a drink, but if you feel guilty, float a Cornflake in it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whose making the next one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whose making the next one?"

here you go - made two - only one pineapple left now - hope its up to scratch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whose making the next one?

here you go - made two - only one pineapple left now - hope its up to scratch "

That's a hell of a shot of rum in it, you trying to get me squiffy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whose making the next one?

here you go - made two - only one pineapple left now - hope its up to scratch

That's a hell of a shot of rum in it, you trying to get me squiffy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whose making the next one?

here you go - made two - only one pineapple left now - hope its up to scratch

That's a hell of a shot of rum in it, you trying to get me squiffy?

Like your thinking, wanna double?

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Anybody fancy a slippery nipple on the house as we are running out of pineapples?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anybody fancy a slippery nipple on the house as we are running out of pineapples? "

Are we still talking drinks or literally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whose making the next one?

here you go - made two - only one pineapple left now - hope its up to scratch

That's a hell of a shot of rum in it, you trying to get me squiffy?

Like your thinking, wanna double?

does that involve using two straws

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Whose making the next one?

here you go - made two - only one pineapple left now - hope its up to scratch

That's a hell of a shot of rum in it, you trying to get me squiffy?

Like your thinking, wanna double?

does that involve using two straws "
Thats feltching innit?

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"Anybody fancy a slippery nipple on the house as we are running out of pineapples?

Are we still talking drinks or literally

Lol...

We could always try a literal one first and then move on to the drinks?

Straws are optional

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whose making the next one?

here you go - made two - only one pineapple left now - hope its up to scratch

That's a hell of a shot of rum in it, you trying to get me squiffy?

Like your thinking, wanna double?

does that involve using two straws "

We'd have to get very close though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whose making the next one?

here you go - made two - only one pineapple left now - hope its up to scratch

That's a hell of a shot of rum in it, you trying to get me squiffy?

Like your thinking, wanna double?

does that involve using two straws

We'd have to get very close though

i can do close

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perfect

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Any last orders at the bar because we are knackered after our first (half) day on the job and were going to call time for tonight?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any last orders at the bar because we are knackered after our first (half) day on the job and were going to call time for tonight?"

Yes, one giant, super king size bed for us all to retire to

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"Any last orders at the bar because we are knackered after our first (half) day on the job and were going to call time for tonight?

Yes, one giant, super king size bed for us all to retire to

Now that's the best request we've had all night!

T I M E at the bar!!!!!

Just so happens we have one... Come on, what you waiting for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just loaded the last of the glasses into the washy thing - got a bit of the love potion left here still so no more for me thanks - i may just love everybody if i have more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any last orders at the bar because we are knackered after our first (half) day on the job and were going to call time for tonight?

Yes, one giant, super king size bed for us all to retire to

Now that's the best request we've had all night!

T I M E at the bar!!!!!

Just so happens we have one... Come on, what you waiting for

Room for a little one and a big un?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just loaded the last of the glasses into the washy thing - got a bit of the love potion left here still so no more for me thanks - i may just love everybody if i have more

Get it in ya

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just loaded the last of the glasses into the washy thing - got a bit of the love potion left here still so no more for me thanks - i may just love everybody if i have more

Get it in ya

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

We will head upstairs and warm the covers up....

See you lot when your ready

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just loaded the last of the glasses into the washy thing - got a bit of the love potion left here still so no more for me thanks - i may just love everybody if i have more

Get it in ya

"
then you can finish the drink

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

Can I have a quick Jaggerbomb please before you close for business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I have a quick Jaggerbomb please before you close for business

You've gotta come n find us on the giant bed

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"Can I have a quick Jaggerbomb please before you close for business

You've gotta come n find us on the giant bed"

Wow... That was an unexpected end to the evening

Knew this pub lark would have it's benefits!

Will get chef to do a full English when your ready......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the words of a famous song 'oh what a night'

I'll have to skip the brekky though, gotta get my fat ass to they gym, I'll never be as slim as Mrs N but I'll give it a damn good go

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By *W69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"In the words of a famous song 'oh what a night'

I'll have to skip the brekky though, gotta get my fat ass to they gym, I'll never be as slim as Mrs N but I'll give it a damn good go

Lol.... Your gyming after all that!

We would be also but have another naughty evening planned so going to have to skip the gym and save our energy for tonight.

Talking of tonight, you guys and the sexy blonde couple that were drinking The Lion special cocktail don't fancy holding the fort do you?

We are off to a club and won't be around....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

who needs a gym with what we got up to on that bed - those low beams are handy though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the words of a famous song 'oh what a night'

I'll have to skip the brekky though, gotta get my fat ass to they gym, I'll never be as slim as Mrs N but I'll give it a damn good go

Lol.... Your gyming after all that!

We would be also but have another naughty evening planned so going to have to skip the gym and save our energy for tonight.

Talking of tonight, you guys and the sexy blonde couple that were drinking The Lion special cocktail don't fancy holding the fort do you?

We are off to a club and won't be around...."

i might be tempted

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