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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Once a female has exposed her potential for being crazy/hard work/too full on or however you want to dress it up, can it ever be undone and forgot or once it's put you off is that it for good?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone deserves a second chance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Once a female has exposed her potential for being crazy/hard work/too full on or however you want to dress it up, can it ever be undone and forgot or once it's put you off is that it for good?"

Im gone like a shot and dont look back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would depend what had gone on before.

As for hard work....that's par for the course. Crazy? That covers most.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah, I typically end up in LTRs with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It would depend what had gone on before.

As for hard work....that's par for the course. Crazy? That covers most."

Of us! I meant to say!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

time can be a healer, and I always believe in giving someone a second chance x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she had a body like yours I might stick around for a while!

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley


"Once a female has exposed her potential for being crazy/hard work/too full on or however you want to dress it up, can it ever be undone and forgot or once it's put you off is that it for good?

Im gone like a shot and dont look back "

You forgot the duck and dive bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if it's an in person situation and you do like them but you have gone a bit crazy then you have to get there pants off as quick as you can because if someone really annoys me it's hard to reverse so pants off make them smile and as long as you make sure they leave satisfied there probably just going to remember it as the best sex ever but with a but of a crazy bitch xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think if it's an in person situation and you do like them but you have gone a bit crazy then you have to get there pants off as quick as you can because if someone really annoys me it's hard to reverse so pants off make them smile and as long as you make sure they leave satisfied there probably just going to remember it as the best sex ever but with a but of a crazy bitch xx "

(BIT not BUT)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"time can be a healer, and I always believe in giving someone a second chance x "

Hope so by the time this dude is back we would have had 3 months no contact. If I play it cool again like I did in the beginning I might be ok. I can't fake it though, in the beginning I didn't have feelings for him so was easy to be nonchalant, was always him messaging me, asking if I wanted to see him again, but then as soon as I get feelings I'm like a fucking banshee, demanding, where's my texts, are you coming down, you were online on whatsapp read my message but did to message back! Aww it's cringeworthy but I can't help it!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"time can be a healer, and I always believe in giving someone a second chance x

Hope so by the time this dude is back we would have had 3 months no contact. If I play it cool again like I did in the beginning I might be ok. I can't fake it though, in the beginning I didn't have feelings for him so was easy to be nonchalant, was always him messaging me, asking if I wanted to see him again, but then as soon as I get feelings I'm like a fucking banshee, demanding, where's my texts, are you coming down, you were online on whatsapp read my message but did to message back! Aww it's cringeworthy but I can't help it! "

This would be a big warning sign/flashing red light!

A little eccentric is always good.

Batshit mental though?..........DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!!!!!

A

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I don't want the drama or hassle so it's a no from me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some men thrive on it, it keeps them on their toes. I know I've never had a problem keeping men when my loopy side came out lol.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

If I was a guy I'd run like hell and not look back. Who needs drama

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nah, I typically end up in LTRs with them.

"

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By *uppy ConquerorMan
over a year ago

dundee


"If she had a body like yours I might stick around for a while! "
same here

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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago

a land up north..... of leicester


"Once a female has exposed her potential for being crazy/hard work/too full on or however you want to dress it up, can it ever be undone and forgot or once it's put you off is that it for good?"

it depends on whether it puts you off or not as the case may be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have enough complications in my life without having a bat shit crazy woman making problems

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By *uicylucy76Woman
over a year ago

thornton cleveleys

I'd personally never smother a man no matter what my feelings... I think it will just make them run further... Play it cool and wait till he txts/ calls.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)


"time can be a healer, and I always believe in giving someone a second chance x

Hope so by the time this dude is back we would have had 3 months no contact. If I play it cool again like I did in the beginning I might be ok. I can't fake it though, in the beginning I didn't have feelings for him so was easy to be nonchalant, was always him messaging me, asking if I wanted to see him again, but then as soon as I get feelings I'm like a fucking banshee, demanding, where's my texts, are you coming down, you were online on whatsapp read my message but did to message back! Aww it's cringeworthy but I can't help it! "

If it's all the time not a chance ... If it's once maybe , no one needs the grief.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Stupid guy shouldn't have given mixed signals. His actions didn't reflect his words. First day I met him he said he didn't want a relationship cos he's away 60% of the year sometimes more and at the time of meeting him he knew the date he was going away again. Said it would only be a one off but then met again the next day, then the following weekend, shopping trips, cinemas, going out for food, taking me half 300 miles away to his best friends wedding.

That's way beyond my definition of a fuck buddy so even though my head was saying to keep it real I couldn't help having feelings for him. Then leading up to him going away he's like I told you I didn't want a relationship I can't be thinking of things when I'm away I need to keep a clear head blah blah blah. I know he'll message me when he's back to let me know he's safe and sound but I dunno if me being so full on has permanently put him off.

I wish I could keep a lid on my feelings like.

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By *y2funMan
over a year ago

DUDLEY


"Everyone deserves a second chance"

depends on how bunny she is....... but I put up with Ang so enough said

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By *uppy ConquerorMan
over a year ago

dundee


"time can be a healer, and I always believe in giving someone a second chance x

Hope so by the time this dude is back we would have had 3 months no contact. If I play it cool again like I did in the beginning I might be ok. I can't fake it though, in the beginning I didn't have feelings for him so was easy to be nonchalant, was always him messaging me, asking if I wanted to see him again, but then as soon as I get feelings I'm like a fucking banshee, demanding, where's my texts, are you coming down, you were online on whatsapp read my message but did to message back! Aww it's cringeworthy but I can't help it! "
It's nice to feel wanted sometimes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"time can be a healer, and I always believe in giving someone a second chance x

Hope so by the time this dude is back we would have had 3 months no contact. If I play it cool again like I did in the beginning I might be ok. I can't fake it though, in the beginning I didn't have feelings for him so was easy to be nonchalant, was always him messaging me, asking if I wanted to see him again, but then as soon as I get feelings I'm like a fucking banshee, demanding, where's my texts, are you coming down, you were online on whatsapp read my message but did to message back! Aww it's cringeworthy but I can't help it! It's nice to feel wanted sometimes! "

There are more sane ways to make a man feel wanted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was a guy I'd run like hell and not look back. Who needs drama"

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By *uicylucy76Woman
over a year ago

thornton cleveleys

It's hard to not have feelings when your doing all the boyfriend / girlfriend things.. But I think u have to think, if he's not after a relationship and you are, maybe it's better to put an end to it now or it may get harder in the future? Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's hard to not have feelings when your doing all the boyfriend / girlfriend things.. But I think u have to think, if he's not after a relationship and you are, maybe it's better to put an end to it now or it may get harder in the future? Xx"

hmmmm....even in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship that sort of behaviour is unhealthy........

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's nice to feel wanted sometimes! "

That's what I think but I know too much is off putting! I can't help it though, especially with this guy who was hurt badly in the past and has said that he has no faith or trust in women. Said he'd never let himself have feelings for anyone again and doesn't need anyone.

I said he's gonna end up that old man that all the kids harrass and post dog shit through his letterbox!

You know when someone is so scorned and hurt it just radiates from them It makes me want to make him feel secure and loved and that I'd never let anyone or thing hurt him. He's said before that he thinks that he wouldn't be enough for me cos I'd briefly told him things I liked sexually and it shocked him (he's a little vanilla by fab standards) but how do you assure someone without freaking them out that once you have feelings for someone it's them that makes the sex not what you do.

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By *iverscuMan
over a year ago

Berkshire

Sounds a bit difficult, i can see why you would have developed feelings affter doing all the relationship type things together. Sounds like he wants it all his way. Although when women get all clingy its pretty annoying, sounds like he saw that and wanted off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP. . I'd say there are two factors . If he's messing you about in terms of what he does vs what he says. . You two need to have a proper talk about whats going on . He may have someone else. . And just pays you attention when his other interest is not free. Also. . If you're emotions are being wrenched. . Don't you think you deserve better ? Someone who gives off vibes of needy or clingy traits leaves themselves wide open to fickle or controlling partners

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I like a challenger to be honest and tend to pick the crazy ones so it wouldnt bother me

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By *uppy ConquerorMan
over a year ago

dundee


"It's nice to feel wanted sometimes!

That's what I think but I know too much is off putting! I can't help it though, especially with this guy who was hurt badly in the past and has said that he has no faith or trust in women. Said he'd never let himself have feelings for anyone again and doesn't need anyone.

I said he's gonna end up that old man that all the kids harrass and post dog shit through his letterbox!

You know when someone is so scorned and hurt it just radiates from them It makes me want to make him feel secure and loved and that I'd never let anyone or thing hurt him. He's said before that he thinks that he wouldn't be enough for me cos I'd briefly told him things I liked sexually and it shocked him (he's a little vanilla by fab standards) but how do you assure someone without freaking them out that once you have feelings for someone it's them that makes the sex not what you do. "
Slowly slowy catchee monkey! Sounds like he just needs to take things his own pace.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

It depends on where she registers on the Vicky Mendoza Line. Otherwise known as the Crazy/Hot scale.

You see hotness is directly linked to how much crazy a bro will put up with. If you lie below the Vicky Mendoza line there is no forgiveness.

Google it for further details.

Hope this helps.

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)


"time can be a healer, and I always believe in giving someone a second chance x

Hope so by the time this dude is back we would have had 3 months no contact. If I play it cool again like I did in the beginning I might be ok. I can't fake it though, in the beginning I didn't have feelings for him so was easy to be nonchalant, was always him messaging me, asking if I wanted to see him again, but then as soon as I get feelings I'm like a fucking banshee, demanding, where's my texts, are you coming down, you were online on whatsapp read my message but did to message back! Aww it's cringeworthy but I can't help it! "

A guy has been like that with me before and I ended it. Went a few months no contact then he set up a new profile to message me. I replied out of niceness but I had no intention of going back so ended uo blocking againg as soon as I noticed he was no different.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"Once a female has exposed her potential for being crazy/hard work/too full on or however you want to dress it up, can it ever be undone and forgot or once it's put you off is that it for good?"

in swinging - no, in real life, probably not but us blokes will give it a go. The guy will always think that a leopard won't change it's spots. Usually they dont, as with everyone.

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London


"Once a female has exposed her potential for being crazy/hard work/too full on or however you want to dress it up, can it ever be undone and forgot or once it's put you off is that it for good?"

You never forget. But you can move on.;-)

The most important thing is the learning from the situation and both of you must do that. There's no innocent parties when it comes to this sort of thing.

For me, It really depends on what's happened before and what I'm willing to turn a blind eye to. I'm quite patient so it would have to be extreme!

Whatever the outcome, take baby steps in the future. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Athena, I've been in that situation, you need to distract yourself, you know deep down what your doing, he probably sees it very differently, wait for him to contact you, but don't sit and dwell, when he comes back, tell him, or maybe write him a letter/bluey, so he can understand you better, it's all very easy to say, but I know it's hard x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've made the mistake of trying to help or even fix people with historical baggage. If they are truly ready to move on at work at being happy. . Great. . But if someone is entrenched in the thought processes that cause them unhappiness . . You can both end up wanting to kill each other !

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London


"I've made the mistake of trying to help or even fix people with historical baggage. If they are truly ready to move on at work at being happy. . Great. . But if someone is entrenched in the thought processes that cause them unhappiness . . You can both end up wanting to kill each other ! "

Yeah, that's a possibility. Not all the time though.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"It depends on where she registers on the Vicky Mendoza Line. Otherwise known as the Crazy/Hot scale.

You see hotness is directly linked to how much crazy a bro will put up with. If you lie below the Vicky Mendoza line there is no forgiveness.

Google it for further details.

Hope this helps. "

Heaven help a guy that finds someone who falls in the Shelly Gallebsy zone!

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Athena, I've been in that situation, you need to distract yourself, you know deep down what your doing, he probably sees it very differently, wait for him to contact you, but don't sit and dwell, when he comes back, tell him, or maybe write him a letter/bluey, so he can understand you better, it's all very easy to say, but I know it's hard x"

I agree with this.

I am notorious for being crazy. I know what I'm like. When I met my husband I deliberately took a part-time bar job (on top of full-time work) so some nights I would have to say I was busy and I wasn't constantly waiting around for him.

Plus he knew the nights I wasn't around I would be chatting to other guys as part of my job. Worked like a charm.

He will no doubt deny it but 10 years later and a couple of kids says it did.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the replies so far, I am reading all the comments. Instead of individually quoting I'll incorporate all points raised in one response.

I know during the 4 months I was meeting him he wasn't meeting anyone else, he was home for 2 weeks when I first met him (not from fab but a dating site, which two weeks into meeting him I asked him to delete his profile which he did, so did I) He was back at his base and would send stupid pictures of his room and would be constantly messaging me mon-thur, fri to sun he could come back home (Wales) that's when he'd be with me. Then he was on a training course for 6 weeks and would get various pictures of shooting on ranges etc etc, again he could come home Friday night to sun so he'd be with me. So I don't think he was meeting anyone else during the 4 months because when he wasn't with me we'd message or ring through the week days. It was the wedding that I noticed him change. He messed up by saying a comment which made him think ahh fuck! The wedding was in England in a Sunday so we travelled up Saturday to stay in a hotel close to the venue so we didn't have far to travel on the day, now I hadn't had a poo all Saturday and Sunday we were in the wedding and staying in the hotel in the venue, after the ceremony he got our room keys and I said right I'm gonna sneak to our room for the toilet, what are you gonna say if someone's asks where I am and he laughs and says I'll tell them my missus has gone for a shit and it was that penny dropping moment, I could see it on his face that he was thinking ahh fuck I shouldn't have said that. So after the wedding if was like he had to constantly reaffirm that he wasn't looking for a relationship and I think that's when he realised that our time together was heading somewhere, now instead of just going with it cos I still hadn't done anything wrong at that point, he started being more distant and messaging wasn't as much and that's when my crazy comes out, when I can feel the guy pulling away it's like I step it up a gear and get frightened that he's gonna fuck off so that's the point where all my logic goes out the window. That's when I need to learn to keep a cool head.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"It depends on where she registers on the Vicky Mendoza Line. Otherwise known as the Crazy/Hot scale.

You see hotness is directly linked to how much crazy a bro will put up with. If you lie below the Vicky Mendoza line there is no forgiveness.

Google it for further details.

Hope this helps.

Heaven help a guy that finds someone who falls in the Shelly Gallebsy zone!

A"

Yeah bro. When they try to kill you with a brick it's pretty much over.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"Once a female has exposed her potential for being crazy/hard work/too full on or however you want to dress it up, can it ever be undone and forgot or once it's put you off is that it for good?"

There've been times in the past where I've stuck around because I thought good sex made up for it, in fact I thought that the two went together. Then I learnt the truth and was off at the first sign of bunny-boiling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Once a female has exposed her potential for being crazy/hard work/too full on or however you want to dress it up, can it ever be undone and forgot or once it's put you off is that it for good?"

as long as she hasn't try to stab me with a pair of scissors for no good reason or boil my rabbit in hot water because I left a few hairs in her sink while shaving..then yeah..id give the woman a second go.we all make silly mistakes that can be put right

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By *organ and rob zombieCouple
over a year ago

bradford

I feel for you hun, but i agree with what a lot have said!!

If he really doesn't want a relationship, don't hang around feeling anxious and imagining all sorts, you'll get mad and paranoid!!

He either wants his cake etc....

He is maybe in a casual relationship with someone else

very hurt from previous experiences....

Who knows, however it's not the basis of a good carry on really!!!

Ease off, keep your options open, but stay in control, don't lose it

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London


"I feel for you hun, but i agree with what a lot have said!!

If he really doesn't want a relationship, don't hang around feeling anxious and imagining all sorts, you'll get mad and paranoid!!

He either wants his cake etc....

He is maybe in a casual relationship with someone else

very hurt from previous experiences....

Who knows, however it's not the basis of a good carry on really!!!

Ease off, keep your options open, but stay in control, don't lose it

"

This!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Listen to ' i can't make you love me' either version. . Very fitting . You can't push a rope . If he's not willing to get serious . Accept it and enjoy it . .or spend your energy looking for someone that is

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I feel for you hun, but i agree with what a lot have said!!

If he really doesn't want a relationship, don't hang around feeling anxious and imagining all sorts, you'll get mad and paranoid!!

He either wants his cake etc....

He is maybe in a casual relationship with someone else

very hurt from previous experiences....

Who knows, however it's not the basis of a good carry on really!!!

Ease off, keep your options open, but stay in control, don't lose it

"

He is hurt from his previous relationship. Two years ago his ex wife said she didn't love him anymore and couldn't handle him being away all the time anymore. For this reason he thinks no woman could handle the length of time he has to be away. He said he'd only consider having a relationship in 7 years when he's left the army. When he's away he's very close to the guys in his regiment so he lives their lives as well so for every female that has done them wrong he feels it too, has said he has no trust in women and that they all say they can handle it but they can't. It's quite insulting really. He also said that when his wife told him that she didn't love him and that the marraige was over just before he was being deployed he said it fucked his head up and he can't risk that happening again cos he needs a clear head when he's away.

So yeah I suppose he does want to have his cake and eat it, wants someone to hang round with when he's on leave but doesn't want to give that commitment or let himself get too close to someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If she had a body like yours I might stick around for a while! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It depends on where she registers on the Vicky Mendoza Line. Otherwise known as the Crazy/Hot scale.

You see hotness is directly linked to how much crazy a bro will put up with. If you lie below the Vicky Mendoza line there is no forgiveness.

Google it for further details.

Hope this helps. "

Love it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"time can be a healer, and I always believe in giving someone a second chance x

Hope so by the time this dude is back we would have had 3 months no contact. If I play it cool again like I did in the beginning I might be ok. I can't fake it though, in the beginning I didn't have feelings for him so was easy to be nonchalant, was always him messaging me, asking if I wanted to see him again, but then as soon as I get feelings I'm like a fucking banshee, demanding, where's my texts, are you coming down, you were online on whatsapp read my message but did to message back! Aww it's cringeworthy but I can't help it! "

What happened with your internet man pal you've know for years but never met? Did you fuck him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I feel for you hun, but i agree with what a lot have said!!

If he really doesn't want a relationship, don't hang around feeling anxious and imagining all sorts, you'll get mad and paranoid!!

He either wants his cake etc....

He is maybe in a casual relationship with someone else

very hurt from previous experiences....

Who knows, however it's not the basis of a good carry on really!!!

Ease off, keep your options open, but stay in control, don't lose it

He is hurt from his previous relationship. Two years ago his ex wife said she didn't love him anymore and couldn't handle him being away all the time anymore. For this reason he thinks no woman could handle the length of time he has to be away. He said he'd only consider having a relationship in 7 years when he's left the army. When he's away he's very close to the guys in his regiment so he lives their lives as well so for every female that has done them wrong he feels it too, has said he has no trust in women and that they all say they can handle it but they can't. It's quite insulting really. He also said that when his wife told him that she didn't love him and that the marraige was over just before he was being deployed he said it fucked his head up and he can't risk that happening again cos he needs a clear head when he's away.

So yeah I suppose he does want to have his cake and eat it, wants someone to hang round with when he's on leave but doesn't want to give that commitment or let himself get too close to someone. "

His ex-wife hurt him and now every other woman is punished for it? Or maybe he does just want to concentrate on his career his brothers-in-arms and have no distractions. If he says his wife couldn't take him being away all the time and he pushes other women away because of it then is it a self fulfilling prophecy? Either way I'd tamp down my emotions, not sit waiting for his call and live MY life in my own way ..... maybe absence will make his heart grow fonder but only he can control that outcome, you should play it cool.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

What happened with your internet man pal you've know for years but never met? Did you fuck him?"

His work hasn't brought him down yet, I won't have sex with him but will meet him for a coffee, just a coffee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Testicles.....the I've been hurt in the past card is painful but it's an excuse, driven I will admit by fear but an excuse none the less sorry

There isn't I'm sure a single person, or at least very few on here, or indeed in vanilla life over the age of 30 who has not been hurt in some way by a past relationship, it's fact it's how you CHOOSE to deal with, it that matters.

It's all part of life's big learning curve I'm afraid, it's not a valid excuse for being a knob, self centered, selfish or anything else.

Tell him straight that if he can't see you for the individual that you are then he's not worth wasting your breath on.

But I suspect that even if he did commit to you then it would burn out as sexual compatibility is a massive part of what makes a relationship work, just look at all the people on here but playing away in unhappy and unfulfilled relationships of different types.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Testicles.....the I've been hurt in the past card is painful but it's an excuse, driven I will admit by fear but an excuse none the less sorry

There isn't I'm sure a single person, or at least very few on here, or indeed in vanilla life over the age of 30 who has not been hurt in some way by a past relationship, it's fact it's how you CHOOSE to deal with, it that matters.

It's all part of life's big learning curve I'm afraid, it's not a valid excuse for being a knob, self centered, selfish or anything else.

Tell him straight that if he can't see you for the individual that you are then he's not worth wasting your breath on.

But I suspect that even if he did commit to you then it would burn out as sexual compatibility is a massive part of what makes a relationship work, just look at all the people on here but playing away in unhappy and unfulfilled relationships of different types."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

His ex-wife hurt him and now every other woman is punished for it? Or maybe he does just want to concentrate on his career his brothers-in-arms and have no distractions. If he says his wife couldn't take him being away all the time and he pushes other women away because of it then is it a self fulfilling prophecy? Either way I'd tamp down my emotions, not sit waiting for his call and live MY life in my own way ..... maybe absence will make his heart grow fonder but only he can control that outcome, you should play it cool.

"

That's what is so frustrating about him because one woman couldn't handle it he thinks all women are the same. Yeah I've got no choice at the moment he doesn't have his phone it's switched off and you can see he was last online at 5am 4th Oct, although before I got all clingy he took my email and said he's never been to this particular place before or done what it is he's meant to be doing so doesn't know if he'll have internet access but he hasn't emailed. I'll only know in January when he's back, he said he will message when he's back to let me know he's safe, that's when I'll have to play it cool. Hate playing games though but over the years something hasn't been working for me so it's time I changed my ways and not show my feelings. Ice queen from now on.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

No, I wouldn't if they were on here

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Testicles.....the I've been hurt in the past card is painful but it's an excuse, driven I will admit by fear but an excuse none the less sorry

There isn't I'm sure a single person, or at least very few on here, or indeed in vanilla life over the age of 30 who has not been hurt in some way by a past relationship, it's fact it's how you CHOOSE to deal with, it that matters.

It's all part of life's big learning curve I'm afraid, it's not a valid excuse for being a knob, self centered, selfish or anything else.

Tell him straight that if he can't see you for the individual that you are then he's not worth wasting your breath on.

But I suspect that even if he did commit to you then it would burn out as sexual compatibility is a massive part of what makes a relationship work, just look at all the people on here but playing away in unhappy and unfulfilled relationships of different types."

Bang on!!

I've read a lot about the scorned man, they really do get butt hurt over it especially if the guy is particularly arrogant and thinks he's "the elite"

As for the sexual compatibility stuff I can do all the things that he likes it's just him that wasn't into the things that I like doing but I got around that by sticking my tongue and fingers up his arse hole when he was sleeping, he'd deny that he wasn't into it but his dripping willy would suggest otherwise, he'd always wake up with a raging hard on and start fucking so I was happy with that. I wouldn't feel the need to stray, when I have feelings for a guy it's like I have blinkers on I don't notice other guys I'd never be unfaithful to someone.

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By *r jblMan
over a year ago

from parts unknown


"Everyone deserves a second chance"
.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love Fab. (Insert multiple incredulous swear words here.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in a similar situation, it completely confused me and made me feel insecure at times so admit to having been a bit hormonal at times and causing arguments to push him away which didn't work as he wouldn't let me go which added to he confusion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep. I don't do chasing. If i've shown my interest, i've shown my interest. I don't do over and beyond attention seeking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be hiding my bunny and the stew pot.

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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago

North Yorkshire by the Sea


"I feel for you hun, but i agree with what a lot have said!!

If he really doesn't want a relationship, don't hang around feeling anxious and imagining all sorts, you'll get mad and paranoid!!

He either wants his cake etc....

He is maybe in a casual relationship with someone else

very hurt from previous experiences....

Who knows, however it's not the basis of a good carry on really!!!

Ease off, keep your options open, but stay in control, don't lose it

He is hurt from his previous relationship. Two years ago his ex wife said she didn't love him anymore and couldn't handle him being away all the time anymore. For this reason he thinks no woman could handle the length of time he has to be away. He said he'd only consider having a relationship in 7 years when he's left the army. When he's away he's very close to the guys in his regiment so he lives their lives as well so for every female that has done them wrong he feels it too, has said he has no trust in women and that they all say they can handle it but they can't. It's quite insulting really. He also said that when his wife told him that she didn't love him and that the marraige was over just before he was being deployed he said it fucked his head up and he can't risk that happening again cos he needs a clear head when he's away.

So yeah I suppose he does want to have his cake and eat it, wants someone to hang round with when he's on leave but doesn't want to give that commitment or let himself get too close to someone.

His ex-wife hurt him and now every other woman is punished for it? Or maybe he does just want to concentrate on his career his brothers-in-arms and have no distractions. If he says his wife couldn't take him being away all the time and he pushes other women away because of it then is it a self fulfilling prophecy? Either way I'd tamp down my emotions, not sit waiting for his call and live MY life in my own way ..... maybe absence will make his heart grow fonder but only he can control that outcome, you should play it cool.

"

Im with there too. Everyones been hurt before but it doesn't excuse treating someone else bad, because you haven't dealt with your past and are ready to move on.

Ultimately, he knows your into him, if he wants you, he will make the effort to approach you on his return.

You can't make him care, or do anything so concentrate on Loving yourself and being open to what you want to find.

In my opinion, it doesnt sound like he cares for you from what you've said. Plenty of people will let a NSA evolve to include the of a relationship without a jot of Actual feelings or care, its the perfect convenience, especially for guys who can behave as if in a relationship but mentally box things and have the emotion/care box closed for what ever reasons. women tend to be the ones who find the out of bed stuff harder to accept without caring more. Not all though x

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By *cottybhoyMan
over a year ago

falkirk


"I'd be hiding my bunny and the stew pot."

Absolutely agree with this!! Dearie me ......

Serious stuff - I'm out

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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago

North Yorkshire by the Sea


"Testicles.....the I've been hurt in the past card is painful but it's an excuse, driven I will admit by fear but an excuse none the less sorry

There isn't I'm sure a single person, or at least very few on here, or indeed in vanilla life over the age of 30 who has not been hurt in some way by a past relationship, it's fact it's how you CHOOSE to deal with, it that matters.

It's all part of life's big learning curve I'm afraid, it's not a valid excuse for being a knob, self centered, selfish or anything else.

Tell him straight that if he can't see you for the individual that you are then he's not worth wasting your breath on.

But I suspect that even if he did commit to you then it would burn out as sexual compatibility is a massive part of what makes a relationship work, just look at all the people on here but playing away in unhappy and unfulfilled relationships of different types.

Bang on!!

I've read a lot about the scorned man, they really do get butt hurt over it especially if the guy is particularly arrogant and thinks he's "the elite"

As for the sexual compatibility stuff I can do all the things that he likes it's just him that wasn't into the things that I like doing but I got around that by sticking my tongue and fingers up his arse hole when he was sleeping, he'd deny that he wasn't into it but his dripping willy would suggest otherwise, he'd always wake up with a raging hard on and start fucking so I was happy with that. I wouldn't feel the need to stray, when I have feelings for a guy it's like I have blinkers on I don't notice other guys I'd never be unfaithful to someone. "

I'd be more worried about doing something unconsented to someone in their sleep though....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Testicles.....the I've been hurt in the past card is painful but it's an excuse, driven I will admit by fear but an excuse none the less sorry

There isn't I'm sure a single person, or at least very few on here, or indeed in vanilla life over the age of 30 who has not been hurt in some way by a past relationship, it's fact it's how you CHOOSE to deal with, it that matters.

It's all part of life's big learning curve I'm afraid, it's not a valid excuse for being a knob, self centered, selfish or anything else.

Tell him straight that if he can't see you for the individual that you are then he's not worth wasting your breath on.

But I suspect that even if he did commit to you then it would burn out as sexual compatibility is a massive part of what makes a relationship work, just look at all the people on here but playing away in unhappy and unfulfilled relationships of different types.

Bang on!!

I've read a lot about the scorned man, they really do get butt hurt over it especially if the guy is particularly arrogant and thinks he's "the elite"

As for the sexual compatibility stuff I can do all the things that he likes it's just him that wasn't into the things that I like doing but I got around that by sticking my tongue and fingers up his arse hole when he was sleeping, he'd deny that he wasn't into it but his dripping willy would suggest otherwise, he'd always wake up with a raging hard on and start fucking so I was happy with that. I wouldn't feel the need to stray, when I have feelings for a guy it's like I have blinkers on I don't notice other guys I'd never be unfaithful to someone.

I'd be more worried about doing something unconsented to someone in their sleep though...."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yep. I don't do chasing. If i've shown my interest, i've shown my interest. I don't do over and beyond attention seeking.

"

Thanks for your input but what part of everything that I've written does that apply to? Are you telling me not to chase him because I've already shown my interest and that he is the attention seeker?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I'd be more worried about doing something unconsented to someone in their sleep though...."

I told him I'd do things when he was sleeping. He'd laugh about it so wasn't overtly bothered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yep. I don't do chasing. If i've shown my interest, i've shown my interest. I don't do over and beyond attention seeking.

Thanks for your input but what part of everything that I've written does that apply to? Are you telling me not to chase him because I've already shown my interest and that he is the attention seeker? "

I didn't know i was meant to be advising you. Seemed like a generic post.

At the end of the day. Only you know what to do. Just have to go with your gut feeling. We can give you all the advice in the world but if you don't feel it's right or correct, something you agree with then it wouldn't matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Once a female has exposed her potential for being crazy/hard work/too full on or however you want to dress it up, can it ever be undone and forgot or once it's put you off is that it for good?"

That's it for good

Regardless of what sex the diva is too

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By *lfie80Man
over a year ago

salisbury

The one time I stuck with a crazy I was seeing, just as a mate as we were always going to be seeing each other around..

Went out for drinks in a group and was getting on well.. Next minute, she told me to fuck off, so I did to the other side of the pub..

Next thing I knew she had lobbed a glass at my face.. (She was a nurse)

So, from now on.. Any bonkers tendencies and I walk..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I don't think I was particularly bonkers to this guy, just was a bit too keen! By the time he's back it would have been 3 months without contact. I'm hoping he would have forgot that I went a bit stage 5 before he left!

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