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Bereavement

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I lost my Dad today, and somehow I feel a guilty for being here reading the posts and keeping in touch with friends.....Not sure if I'm right or wrong? but the friends have been there for me when my dad wasn't.....and they will still be there for me now he's gone. x

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Im really sorry to here of your bereavment. What your doing isnt wrong, you have friends on here, the first few days are usually a shock and blur and if you take comfort from being with your friends then good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do whatever feels best for you right now, people here have a wealth of experience to share, and not just regarding sex.

There is always someone to talk to you day or night and comfort and reassure.

This month is the anniversary of losing my partner, hence the hidden profile and no playing, it's my own little mark of respect. It doesn't stop me still posting in the forums and chatting with friends.

You are still living and feeling and if a few words are comfort to you then feel no guilt.

I wish you well. Xxxxxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My condolences on your loss, but life has to go on and you will grieve for your dad when it is right for you. At times like this there is no right and wrong, and only you know how you feel and what you need.

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish


"I lost my Dad today, and somehow I feel a guilty for being here reading the posts and keeping in touch with friends.....Not sure if I'm right or wrong? but the friends have been there for me when my dad wasn't.....and they will still be there for me now he's gone. x

"

I am sorry for your loss...do not feel guilty, you say you have become friends with people on here and it is friends we need to help us get through the hard times.When I lost my dad 3 years ago(mind you it was way before my swinging days) chatting with my friends back home on facebook helped me take my mind off things a bit and keep me sane...big hugs from me xxx

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

I agree, do what feels right for you, there is no right or wrong way of dealing with a loss, just your way.

x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guilt is destructive and best only felt when you have done something wrong.

When my dad died I wrote and read the Eulogy as did my eldest daughter.

In them we spoke of all the good things he gave us.

Remember the laughs.... x x x x

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By *uton_coupleCouple
over a year ago

luton

theres very little we can say apart from sending our sympathy and best wishes

it is a very difficult balancing act between grief , and the fact life must go on xxx

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By *aughty_kittyWoman
over a year ago

finger licking good

dont feel guity i was on here after my son died, i remeber doing a post saying how bad i felt my baby had just died and i was on here talking to people, but it got explained to me and i also see it as.... i dont see this as just a 'sex site' this is a place where i have made many friends, and we can talk about other things then sex and stuff and everyone knew about my son and to be honest with out the support of this site i dont know how i got through the first few weeks, xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mother died last year, nearly a year ago and I got the news in the middle of a meet... Bit of a passion killer, really.

Funny thing is, I could probably have carried on, it was the others who stopped.

It affects everyone differently, no right or wrong.

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By *ickedWWoman
over a year ago

Chester

I am so sorry to hear about your loss..

As other posters have said, who is to say what you are doin is right or wrong..

You need your friends and family around you at this sad time, for comfort and support, if you are finding that on this site or on any other site, thats got to be a good thing..

I hope these few lines have helped..

Take Care x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are very sorry to hear about your loss and our thoughts are with you.As others have said we all deal with things like this differently,and why should you feel guilty.

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By *ookworm258Man
over a year ago

Wythenshawe

I lost my mother last year, wasn't unexpected but found just talking with friends and family helped me through it. I ended up going back to work the day after just so I could take my mind off it but each to their own way of getting through it all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

people find comfort in different places.

what matters is what works for you and if you feel you are amongst friends, then it's not a bad place to be.

my sincerest condolences to you and yours xx

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By *hattyman80Man
over a year ago

stockport

Sorry to hear about your loss. I'm sure the people who know you here will help you through it. My thoughts are with you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

our thoughts are with you you need to talk to people those people are us so no it is not wrong posting on fab x

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

like all of the people above me i think that at times like this you need t do what you need to do.

bust bodies and those who have no connection to your situation may say you have to behave in a certain way because 'that is whats done' but stuff them!! your friends both on here and n the real world will be here to help you through and you will grieve in your own time

my thoughts are with you and your family xxx

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish


"like all of the people above me i think that at times like this you need t do what you need to do.

bust bodies and those who have no connection to your situation may say you have to behave in a certain way because 'that is whats done' but stuff them!! your friends both on here and n the real world will be here to help you through and you will grieve in your own time

my thoughts are with you and your family xxx"

I so agree...when my father passed away i was six months pregnant with my twins sao could not fly back home to canada, but as my dad was quite ill and knew the time was near, he said he did not want any services until I could be over, even though it was only at christmas 9 months later..my mum had so many disapproving comments but she just said what does it have to do with them when or how we celebrated his life.

you do what feels right to YOU xxx

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

Sorry to hear of your loss, not sure if I'm allowed to post the following link, it's posted with good intentions.

Try the following organisation, we found them extremely supportive:

http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i am sorry to hear of the loss of your dad, and dont feel guilty reading the posts, everyone needs someone or something at a time like this hun. take care xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry for your loss, but has been said before- whatever makes you feel any better can only be a good thing. Being on here certainly doesn't diminish your feelings any- it's just a little distraction from reality for a while- always a good thing

x

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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

I am sorry to read about the sad loss of your Dad and my thoughts are with you at this sad time.

Don't feel guilty about been on here he would want you to carry on with your normal life.

Hugs & Kisses

Carol xx

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

If you want to cry you howl and am sure a friend will howl with you.

Shout scream, stamp or swear, whatever you feel you need to do you do it hunny.

We all grieve in different ways so whatever works for you in the early days especially you do. No one should critisise you at all.

Sending virtual hugs and silent kisses xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

soz 2 hear that hun xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like others am sorry for your loss, and extend my utmost sympathies.

Your grieving will occur later not today and possibly not tomorrow or the next.

Never feel guilty by being on here, by opening up in the forums believe it or not will help the grieving process become less painless in the days to come.

I've no doubt you have friends on here that you can confide with.

Take care.

Paddy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we are very sorry to hear about your loss.our best wishes we send to you.

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By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

you need to do what's right for you ...if this is a place you get support then this is part of the support you need to access.

with strength x

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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!

Another one who believes you should do what you suits you! A lady from A N Other site I use had her husband die on New Years Eve. She tried to "bury" her bad news in a certain thread but it was quickly spotted and spread around, particularly because the husband was so well liked and respeceted on the scene.

I`m led to understand this helped the lady no end.

I`ll finish by saying I`m sorry to hear of your loss. The pain of missing him will not go away, it will get easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hugs!

Just because someone is "family" does not mean he/she has to be close to you.

I was not close to my dad, and had expected him to die 10y before his eventual death because he had a lot of health issues due to self-inflicted abuse, like drinking and smoking a lot!

When he died, it was 2 days after the London bombings, and I was having shingles at the time, and lived 200y down the road from the bus bomb.

With all the chaos and ill health, I do not believe I had time to think much about his death, and certainly was not able to help my mum much, as they lived in Canada.

I do not feel guilty about not being close to him, or be there when he died.

I made to the funeral as soon as I was able to travel.

Better than my horrid sister who did not attend, and she was his favourite, and had not seen her since 1989!

My mum was very upset about her not turning up, being the eldest child. However, she now realised she is unlikely to see her ever again, after my sister wrote her a multi-page letter slagging her off left right and centre, citing all the issues since she was a child!

I have ex-commuicated her in 2002. Just giving her a taste of her own medicine back, as she was horrid to me and my bro, and I decided enough was enough.

It just to show that one really cannot choose his/her family. And I do not believe I have to like any of mine just because they are family!

If this makes me heartless and lacking in compassion, then that's just tough!

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By *aintmikeMan
over a year ago

glasgow

sorry to hear about your loss,, i lost my father 5 month ago,, but stay on here it may help,, talking always helps,

good luck,,and kind wishes,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh bless, sending hugs to you on this sad day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry to hear about your loss.

not for anyone to judge if you are on or not. we all deal with things differently.

wish you well xx

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

So very sad to hear that you have lost your Dad today. If it is any consolation at all to you, it made me call my 87 year old Dad and tell him I love him. Something he knows but I don't say nearly as often as I should.

As to being in here? You said it yourself, you are here to talk to friends! That is what we do in times of trouble and sadness. And believe me, you will find that you have more friends in the broadest terms than you realised.

Fabsters are wonderful people and you will not find a better support network anywhere.

Love & Hugs to you and yours xxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Know exactly where your comming from.

In the last two mths ive lost my dear sister from cancer(recently)

My childhood mate and my uncle whose funeral was today.

I didnt write much on here but still popped on to have a read.

Trying to instill some normality in my life ...

We all deal with loss in so many different ways and there is no "right way" .

I was extremely grateful for those considerate forum mates who contacted me in my "hour of need"

Its nice to know someone cares a little.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry to hear that Pandora. I know what you're going thro'

There's absolutely nothing wrong with what feels right for you.

It may sound like some "tree-hugging hippy shit" but whatever you feel inside is much more relevant than anything you else.

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By *ixson-BallsMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

please accept my condolences....i know no words of comfort that may ease your loss, but i am sincere in my posting

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'd like to say a BIG thank you to everyone for your replies and kind words. The brilliant people on here have helped me get through a very difficult day.

Thank you all so much

Di x x x

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