FabSwingers.com forum: Extend this Idea

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

INSTRUCTIONS FOR SUCCESSFULL MASTURBATION.

1. Take jar of vaseline and warm microwave until almost tooooooo warm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you need to warm the microwave?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do you need to warm the microwave?"

Jesus some people!

ONE!: Take a jar of vaseline and warm it IN the microwave until almost tooooooo warm !

Okay picky??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2. Take a generous amount from jar and apply liberally to both palms ( one if you are still typing in chat room)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 get out the old yellow gloves from under the sink mmmmmmmmm (saw it on band of gold honest pmsl)

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

Mix vaseline with polystyrene granules and soak in petrol. Voila, you have made napalm, ignite and endure many years of skin grafts (should you survive)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ladies ! No Wanking with Wolf !

and dont try that at home !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

3. Wearing the marigolds remove two of your favourite vibrators from where you left them after your last session ..........

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

get some mince meat in a cup, make a 'well' crack an egg in it and there you go your very own blue peter fanny (not to be confused with a blue waffle fanny

)

for the boys obviousy!!!

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

4. Apologise to single bi fem from last meet for leaving her bound and gagged with two vibrators running inside her when the doorbell rang. 3 days ago...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For God's SAKE Evesham !!!

What are we supposed to do with the vaseline and vibrators while YOUR bloke is sloshin in egg n mince !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"4. Apologise to single bi fem from last meet for leaving her bound and gagged with two vibrators running inside her when the doorbell rang. 3 days ago..."

5. Replace her false teeth and phone her a taxi - meanwhile smother vaseline all over the ..........

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"For God's SAKE Evesham !!!

What are we supposed to do with the vaseline and vibrators while YOUR bloke is sloshin in egg n mince !"

i'm sorry - i take it back, dont do that as you'll get salmonella on your knob - leave it to Granny with her vibrators and vaseline!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For God's SAKE Evesham !!!

What are we supposed to do with the vaseline and vibrators while YOUR bloke is sloshin in egg n mince !

i'm sorry - i take it back, dont do that as you'll get salmonella on your knob - leave it to Granny with her vibrators and vaseline!!"

Too late - I've gone for a pound of mince and six eggs now !

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"For God's SAKE Evesham !!!

What are we supposed to do with the vaseline and vibrators while YOUR bloke is sloshin in egg n mince !

i'm sorry - i take it back, dont do that as you'll get salmonella on your knob - leave it to Granny with her vibrators and vaseline!!

Too late - I've gone for a pound of mince and six eggs now !"

its ok, you can still make some nice burgers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"get some mince meat in a cup, make a 'well' crack an egg in it and there you go your very own blue peter fanny (not to be confused with a blue waffle fanny

)

for the boys obviousy!!!"

wtf is a blue waffle fanny?! the other one sounds gross though.

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By *icelymarkedMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Wash hands in warm soapy water to remove vasaline ..... then remove the new silk shirt ..... reapply vasaline .... oh bugger it's gone cold again .....

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"get some mince meat in a cup, make a 'well' crack an egg in it and there you go your very own blue peter fanny (not to be confused with a blue waffle fanny

)

for the boys obviousy!!!

wtf is a blue waffle fanny?! the other one sounds gross though.

google blue waffle and you will find out

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By *icelymarkedMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

While you are out buying the eggs and mince can you get us some AA batteries please. The vibrators gone flat and me hands are too greasy. Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Howdo you know if its nearly to warm ????

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

[Removed by poster at 03/08/10 11:19:07]

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Howdo you know if its nearly to warm ????

dip an appendage it it - if it burns you've done it too long

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"While you are out buying the eggs and mince can you get us some AA batteries please. The vibrators gone flat and me hands are too greasy. Thank you.

I'll bring the rechargeables... Uhmmm stick the vaseline back in the microwave.. or get some axle grease.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Howdo you know if its nearly to warm ????

Stick it on the dogs bollocks - measure the whine level .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How to make an artificial fanny, well I learned it at Scouts

1, go to B&Q and buy a length of waste pipe, about £2 for 3mtr length, enough for "one or two prototypes"

2, buy some sponges...get the big ones you was the car with.

3, buy some freezer bags, the next size up from sandwich bags.

4, buy some vaselene.

5, make an insision, longways into the sponge.

6, insert freezer bag into the sponge.

7, cut pipe to required length, and insert sponge into a bit of pipe. You will need to trim the sponge to get a good fit

Make sure sponge extrudes from front end of pipe, 'cos the plastic pipe can be a bit sharp on ya bits.

8, apply liberal amount of vaselene to cock and insert into newly constructed artificial fanny.

9, if it's too tight, remove a bit of sponge, and if it's too slack, add another sponge.

10, dismantle after use, store parts seperately and your new "friend" will be unsectable...rather like a hit mans gun

When I left the scouts, I couldn't light a fire with a stick, and I couldn't tie a knot, but by fuck....I new how to wank.

Disclaimer: I cannot accept any responibility for any actions, legal or otherwise that might arise from tossers using this info

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"get some mince meat in a cup, make a 'well' crack an egg in it and there you go your very own blue peter fanny (not to be confused with a blue waffle fanny

)

for the boys obviousy!!!

wtf is a blue waffle fanny?! the other one sounds gross though.

google blue waffle and you will find out

good lord you nasty bugger. i wont sleep for weeks now and i can still taste the bile.

...and they have a site dedicated to it!!! stayed open for as long as it took me to close it down

seriously though...i feel sick

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"get some mince meat in a cup, make a 'well' crack an egg in it and there you go your very own blue peter fanny (not to be confused with a blue waffle fanny

)

for the boys obviousy!!!

wtf is a blue waffle fanny?! the other one sounds gross though.

google blue waffle and you will find out

good lord you nasty bugger. i wont sleep for weeks now and i can still taste the bile.

...and they have a site dedicated to it!!! stayed open for as long as it took me to close it down

seriously though...i feel sick

muwahahahahahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"google blue waffle and you will find out

good lord you nasty bugger. i wont sleep for weeks now and i can still taste the bile.

...and they have a site dedicated to it!!! stayed open for as long as it took me to close it down

seriously though...i feel sick

muwahahahahahahaha

you're not nice. sometimes ignorance is bliss

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"google blue waffle and you will find out

good lord you nasty bugger. i wont sleep for weeks now and i can still taste the bile.

...and they have a site dedicated to it!!! stayed open for as long as it took me to close it down

seriously though...i feel sick

muwahahahahahahaha

you're not nice. sometimes ignorance is bliss"

i so am nice!!!!!

this way you can have the pleasure of making others look

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By *ixson-BallsMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

think i ate something resembling a "blue waffle" from a late night kebab shop once... covered in plenty of chilli sauce it tasted great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"google blue waffle and you will find out

good lord you nasty bugger. i wont sleep for weeks now and i can still taste the bile.

...and they have a site dedicated to it!!! stayed open for as long as it took me to close it down

seriously though...i feel sick

muwahahahahahahaha

you're not nice. sometimes ignorance is bliss

i so am nice!!!!!

this way you can have the pleasure of making others look

yes, my first thought was "hmm, i should email this link to my mother"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"think i ate something resembling a "blue waffle" from a late night kebab shop once... covered in plenty of chilli sauce it tasted great

You have put me of my lunch now!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"think i ate something resembling a "blue waffle" from a late night kebab shop once... covered in plenty of chilli sauce it tasted great

You have put me of my lunch now!

you is all bad peeps

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Did anyone else make the mistake of clicking through to 'special fried rice'??

I am now SERIOUSLY re-considering some lifestyle choices!

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Did anyone else make the mistake of clicking through to 'special fried rice'??

I am now SERIOUSLY re-considering some lifestyle choices!

"
NO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did anyone else make the mistake of clicking through to 'special fried rice'??

I am now SERIOUSLY re-considering some lifestyle choices!

i dont want to know!!!!!!!!

[fingers in ears] lalala i'm not listening lalala lalala

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Did anyone else make the mistake of clicking through to 'special fried rice'??

I am now SERIOUSLY re-considering some lifestyle choices!

My cock is NEVER leaving my Calvins again. I will use it to pee, and that's it.

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By *ixson-BallsMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

"Did anyone else make the mistake of clicking through to 'special fried rice'??

I am now SERIOUSLY re-considering some lifestyle choices!

i dont want to know!!!!!!!!

[fingers in ears] lalala i'm not listening lalala lalala"

shut your eyes also so you carnt see what i type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did anyone else make the mistake of clicking through to 'special fried rice'??

I am now SERIOUSLY re-considering some lifestyle choices!

My cock is NEVER leaving my Calvins again. I will use it to pee, and that's it.

i totally support you on that! my chi chi will be doing likewise and have one use only...

...at the very least for today

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Did anyone else make the mistake of clicking through to 'special fried rice'??

I am now SERIOUSLY re-considering some lifestyle choices!

My cock is NEVER leaving my Calvins again. I will use it to pee, and that's it.

never say never

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

[Removed by poster at 03/08/10 12:45:49]

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By *ixson-BallsMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

"Did anyone else make the mistake of clicking through to 'special fried rice'??

I am now SERIOUSLY re-considering some lifestyle choices!

HOT DOG...anyone???

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Did anyone else make the mistake of clicking through to 'special fried rice'??

I am now SERIOUSLY re-considering some lifestyle choices!

HOT DOG...anyone???

whay about the Giant Cheese Taco one????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant believe this ?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I cant believe this ?"

believe what???

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I cant believe this ?

believe what???"

Excuse me ! This IS the masturbation thread!

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