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is it a sad reflection

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

On the way that we think in scociety today?

Short story...

I was walking back home last night, maybe eleven o clock, quite dark and rainy and out of a sidestreet fifty yards or so ahead of me walks a middle aged ish lady, collar up against the rain, head down, and she starts walking in the same direction as I am. Now the thing that went through my head at this point was 'should I slow down, so as not to frighten her?' As I walk pretty fast and what with my hoodie up and my quick footsteps and it being night, nobody else about and such ya know?...the fact that I have to consider that is food for thought on its own, but the story continues.

I decided, we're right on the main road, there are streetlights, houses over the way, she'll be fine, its wet and I want to get home so I carry on walking at a good pace and as I almost catch her up, say five yards behind her or thereabouts, she must have had her carkeys in her hand as she unlocks a car a couple of yards ahead, with the remote fob I assume, and makes a small dive almost for the motor, gets in and immidiately locks it staring at me as I pass...it made me wonder, did something once happen to that poor lady? Or is it just a general fear in today's society? Or am I just scary looking?

I'll probably never know the answer, and I'm not really searching for one on here, the question is more rhetorical than anythibg else....I just thought it was something interesting to mull over is all...the end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/11/14 02:10:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say it's a general fear in todays society. I'm scared if the dark and hate walking alone late at night. The scariest experience I've had was walking to my car after work one night. I was walking through the Castle grounds in Aberystwyth as my car was parked on the prom. It was only just after 5.30 but in the middle of winter and dark.

The Castle grounds are well lit but what I didn't appreciate till that night was the lights are those big floodlight type things that they place on the ground with the light shining up.....into your eyes. I heard footsteps behind me but of course couldn't see a thing due to the lighting.

I really panicked for some reason and didn't know whether to carry on or turn round and go back towards town and towards the footsteps. I quickened my pace and carried on but felt very vulnerable. Got to my car and breathed a sigh if relief although I was shaking like a leaf!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It saddens me just a little to think of people fearing others....unfortunately you hear of things happenning I suppose and it sinks in...like a child learning some fears.....adults I guess learn new fears...

It's also a bit odd to me as I like the night, I'm a fan, empty streets...no traffic...king of the place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is sad but that's the society we live in I'm afraid. I'm scared if the dark too which doesn't help but I'll walk in my own village late at night and not worry a bit.

Actually that sounds bad but you know what I mean

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah I guess it is a reflection....maybe not just of todays scociety though....thinking about it, people have been doing mischief to each other for years I suppose...history is littered with examples (don't ask me like what, it's two thirty a.m, your lucky to be able to get a modicum of sense out of me)

So maybe its human nature...the way that people are wired?

I understand in your own village though, it's home turf after all so we're perhaps all prone to feel a little safer amongst the known enities and surroundings of our lives and like many annimals?

Or maybe I'm tired and just overthinking....who knows?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If possible I'll always cross the road and walk on the opposite side ....

Years ago, when I was a lad, I was actually pepper sprayed, when crossing between platforms on the Tube, late at night

Didn't realise that I had to give more room and was bustling past this lady at the time. She must have been living in some fear

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Personally I think you projected your issues in to the actions of that lady.

You immediately jumped to the 'will i scare her' theory. Did her walking speed up as you got closer?

If it was raining I'd have my keys in my hand to enable speedy entry to my car, I'd also unlock it as soon as possible and dive for cover inside the dry car. Looking at people as they pass is normal human behaviour.

Would your thought process have gone down this route if you were following a guy? They get attacked to you know.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I wonder if it had been a man would it have been a different story?

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I usually find a quick "good evening" usually does the trick, oh and I'd have probably put my hood down too (I never wear them personally)

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By *andixxxMan
over a year ago

Gloucester


"On the way that we think in scociety today?

Short story...

I was walking back home last night, maybe eleven o clock, quite dark and rainy and out of a sidestreet fifty yards or so ahead of me walks a middle aged ish lady, collar up against the rain, head down, and she starts walking in the same direction as I am. Now the thing that went through my head at this point was 'should I slow down, so as not to frighten her?' As I walk pretty fast and what with my hoodie up and my quick footsteps and it being night, nobody else about and such ya know?...the fact that I have to consider that is food for thought on its own, but the story continues.

I decided, we're right on the main road, there are streetlights, houses over the way, she'll be fine, its wet and I want to get home so I carry on walking at a good pace and as I almost catch her up, say five yards behind her or thereabouts, she must have had her carkeys in her hand as she unlocks a car a couple of yards ahead, with the remote fob I assume, and makes a small dive almost for the motor, gets in and immidiately locks it staring at me as I pass...it made me wonder, did something once happen to that poor lady? Or is it just a general fear in today's society? Or am I just scary looking?

I'll probably never know the answer, and I'm not really searching for one on here, the question is more rhetorical than anythibg else....I just thought it was something interesting to mull over is all...the end. "

I think it's a typical example of symbolic constructionism here....our experiences and perseptions would appear to make us what we are....

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By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago

Germany / Manchester

I understand the OP's point, as I used to feel the same. If I would walk behind or towards a woman, I'd purposely not make eye contact, walk further away and even cross the road. One particular incident got me so angry, it changed my perspective on this situation, where now, my previous actions don't cross my mind.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

[Removed by poster at 07/11/14 09:32:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is hard wired to be afraid if the unknown, this helps stop us dying or harming ourselves, but common sense should tell you that it's not ok to be afraid of everything.

If someone is out on their own at night then they probably aren't that worried about being attacked either. I used to walk home 4am on my own all the time, worst that would happen is cars would pull up asking if I wanted a lift or a fuck, if I said no they would drive off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Personally I think you projected your issues in to the actions of that lady.

You immediately jumped to the 'will i scare her' theory. Did her walking speed up as you got closer?

If it was raining I'd have my keys in my hand to enable speedy entry to my car, tI'd also unlock it as soon as possible and dive for cover inside the dry car. Looking at people as they pass is normal human behaviour.

Would your thought process have gone down this route if you were following a guy? They get attacked to you know. "

Errr....if you say so.

Not quite sure what issues I have I'm projecting, its fairly normal for people to thinkas I I did....I've mentioned it to several friends now and every one has said the same thought crosses their mind as have folk on this thread so please don't make out i somehow have issues...

Your response to my post is fairly accusatory in tone...I was only musing on something is all.

And yeah, I think it with blokes too....marching up on anyone in the dark I wonder if it worrys them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live in fear of breaking a finger nail

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"On the way that we think in scociety today?

Short story...

I was walking back home last night, maybe eleven o clock, quite dark and rainy and out of a sidestreet fifty yards or so ahead of me walks a middle aged ish lady, collar up against the rain, head down, and she starts walking in the same direction as I am. Now the thing that went through my head at this point was 'should I slow down, so as not to frighten her?' As I walk pretty fast and what with my hoodie up and my quick footsteps and it being night, nobody else about and such ya know?...the fact that I have to consider that is food for thought on its own, but the story continues.

I decided, we're right on the main road, there are streetlights, houses over the way, she'll be fine, its wet and I want to get home so I carry on walking at a good pace and as I almost catch her up, say five yards behind her or thereabouts, she must have had her carkeys in her hand as she unlocks a car a couple of yards ahead, with the remote fob I assume, and makes a small dive almost for the motor, gets in and immidiately locks it staring at me as I pass...it made me wonder, did something once happen to that poor lady? Or is it just a general fear in today's society? Or am I just scary looking?

I'll probably never know the answer, and I'm not really searching for one on here, the question is more rhetorical than anythibg else....I just thought it was something interesting to mull over is all...the end.

I think it's a typical example of symbolic constructionism here....our experiences and perseptions would appear to make us what we are.... "

Symbolic what now? Ikkle words please is it another answer saying I have issues wrapped up in fancy words?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/11/14 13:34:20]

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By *hrissie1961Woman
over a year ago

dumfries and galloway

If it had been me, I would have made a comment about what a crap night it was.....people don't talk to strangers anymore...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I wonder if it had been a man would it have been a different story?"

No, the thought has occured when a similar thing has happened with blokes too...I'm marching up on someone at night...it makes me wonder how they feel sometimes...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I understand the OP's point, as I used to feel the same. If I would walk behind or towards a woman, I'd purposely not make eye contact, walk further away and even cross the road. One particular incident got me so angry, it changed my perspective on this situation, where now, my previous actions don't cross my mind. "

Eye, cheers, you know what I'm sayin'

I think its fairly normal a thought myself....I know its not just me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As an earlier post suggested, you could have crossed over and walked in the opposite pavement.

I can't remember where I was taught this but I've always been aware of making people nervous by walking behind them at night.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If it had been me, I would have made a comment about what a crap night it was.....people don't talk to strangers anymore..."

I normally nod and smile or aknowledge folk with the raising of a hand or something as I pass...I just didn't make eye contact till she locked herself in the car as I never quite caught up in this case....

I would agree though, folk don't aknowledge each other or say hi a lot

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As an earlier post suggested, you could have crossed over and walked in the opposite pavement.

I can't remember where I was taught this but I've always been aware of making people nervous by walking behind them at night. "

I normally do either slow down or something, just I didn't this time....I thought 'meh, your being silly, she's no reason to be scared' that plus the fact I just wanted to get in so I ploughed on....

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


"On the way that we think in scociety today?

Short story...

I was walking back home last night, maybe eleven o clock, quite dark and rainy and out of a sidestreet fifty yards or so ahead of me walks a middle aged ish lady, collar up against the rain, head down, and she starts walking in the same direction as I am. Now the thing that went through my head at this point was 'should I slow down, so as not to frighten her?' As I walk pretty fast and what with my hoodie up and my quick footsteps and it being night, nobody else about and such ya know?...the fact that I have to consider that is food for thought on its own, but the story continues.

I decided, we're right on the main road, there are streetlights, houses over the way, she'll be fine, its wet and I want to get home so I carry on walking at a good pace and as I almost catch her up, say five yards behind her or thereabouts, she must have had her carkeys in her hand as she unlocks a car a couple of yards ahead, with the remote fob I assume, and makes a small dive almost for the motor, gets in and immidiately locks it staring at me as I pass...it made me wonder, did something once happen to that poor lady? Or is it just a general fear in today's society? Or am I just scary looking?

I'll probably never know the answer, and I'm not really searching for one on here, the question is more rhetorical than anythibg else....I just thought it was something interesting to mull over is all...the end. "

No you're not scary looking!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"On the way that we think in scociety today?

Short story...

I was walking back home last night, maybe eleven o clock, quite dark and rainy and out of a sidestreet fifty yards or so ahead of me walks a middle aged ish lady, collar up against the rain, head down, and she starts walking in the same direction as I am. Now the thing that went through my head at this point was 'should I slow down, so as not to frighten her?' As I walk pretty fast and what with my hoodie up and my quick footsteps and it being night, nobody else about and such ya know?...the fact that I have to consider that is food for thought on its own, but the story continues.

I decided, we're right on the main road, there are streetlights, houses over the way, she'll be fine, its wet and I want to get home so I carry on walking at a good pace and as I almost catch her up, say five yards behind her or thereabouts, she must have had her carkeys in her hand as she unlocks a car a couple of yards ahead, with the remote fob I assume, and makes a small dive almost for the motor, gets in and immidiately locks it staring at me as I pass...it made me wonder, did something once happen to that poor lady? Or is it just a general fear in today's society? Or am I just scary looking?

I'll probably never know the answer, and I'm not really searching for one on here, the question is more rhetorical than anythibg else....I just thought it was something interesting to mull over is all...the end.

No you're not scary looking! "

That's subjective.....I'm sure many would disagree

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


"On the way that we think in scociety today?

Short story...

I was walking back home last night, maybe eleven o clock, quite dark and rainy and out of a sidestreet fifty yards or so ahead of me walks a middle aged ish lady, collar up against the rain, head down, and she starts walking in the same direction as I am. Now the thing that went through my head at this point was 'should I slow down, so as not to frighten her?' As I walk pretty fast and what with my hoodie up and my quick footsteps and it being night, nobody else about and such ya know?...the fact that I have to consider that is food for thought on its own, but the story continues.

I decided, we're right on the main road, there are streetlights, houses over the way, she'll be fine, its wet and I want to get home so I carry on walking at a good pace and as I almost catch her up, say five yards behind her or thereabouts, she must have had her carkeys in her hand as she unlocks a car a couple of yards ahead, with the remote fob I assume, and makes a small dive almost for the motor, gets in and immidiately locks it staring at me as I pass...it made me wonder, did something once happen to that poor lady? Or is it just a general fear in today's society? Or am I just scary looking?

I'll probably never know the answer, and I'm not really searching for one on here, the question is more rhetorical than anythibg else....I just thought it was something interesting to mull over is all...the end.

No you're not scary looking!

That's subjective.....I'm sure many would disagree "

Fuck 'em. You know I'd do you in a heartbeat!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"On the way that we think in scociety today?

Short story...

I was walking back home last night, maybe eleven o clock, quite dark and rainy and out of a sidestreet fifty yards or so ahead of me walks a middle aged ish lady, collar up against the rain, head down, and she starts walking in the same direction as I am. Now the thing that went through my head at this point was 'should I slow down, so as not to frighten her?' As I walk pretty fast and what with my hoodie up and my quick footsteps and it being night, nobody else about and such ya know?...the fact that I have to consider that is food for thought on its own, but the story continues.

I decided, we're right on the main road, there are streetlights, houses over the way, she'll be fine, its wet and I want to get home so I carry on walking at a good pace and as I almost catch her up, say five yards behind her or thereabouts, she must have had her carkeys in her hand as she unlocks a car a couple of yards ahead, with the remote fob I assume, and makes a small dive almost for the motor, gets in and immidiately locks it staring at me as I pass...it made me wonder, did something once happen to that poor lady? Or is it just a general fear in today's society? Or am I just scary looking?

I'll probably never know the answer, and I'm not really searching for one on here, the question is more rhetorical than anythibg else....I just thought it was something interesting to mull over is all...the end.

No you're not scary looking!

That's subjective.....I'm sure many would disagree

Fuck 'em. You know I'd do you in a heartbeat!"

I don't think they'd let me fuck 'em if I they thought I was scary!

Really though, thank you....the same goes....your a good looking woman and you've a very sexy mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate walking anywhere in the dark, always have. If I hear someone my heart races and I really panic!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a time we didn't scare so easy, where panic only came from a lack of tea.

I think being properly informed is an absolute necessity for a 21st century.

But remember you don't have to read all the scary stories, I've never locked my car (admittedly it's no Lamborghini) or locked my back door in 16 years and I've never had a break in or my car stolen ,but do you think that story will make the news!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There was a time we didn't scare so easy, where panic only came from a lack of tea.

I think being properly informed is an absolute necessity for a 21st century.

But remember you don't have to read all the scary stories, I've never locked my car (admittedly it's no Lamborghini) or locked my back door in 16 years and I've never had a break in or my car stolen ,but do you think that story will make the news!"

I agree that it tends only to be bad the bad that makes it onto or into the news and I reckon that slowly drips into the psyche and makes everyone a lot more.....scared might not be the word......aware maybe?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I hate walking anywhere in the dark, always have. If I hear someone my heart races and I really panic! "

That can't be too nice hope its not through personal experience (i'm not asking....just saying)

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By *ittykate84Woman
over a year ago

CHESTER

Honestly I dont get scared.. Other people are walking home or out to clear their head like I am, they have every right to be out.. I go out quite a lot at night to think and have never been approached by anyone.. I dont want to live in fear and I wont!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Honestly I dont get scared.. Other people are walking home or out to clear their head like I am, they have every right to be out.. I go out quite a lot at night to think and have never been approached by anyone.. I dont want to live in fear and I wont! "

Love walking late at night.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Honestly I dont get scared.. Other people are walking home or out to clear their head like I am, they have every right to be out.. I go out quite a lot at night to think and have never been approached by anyone.. I dont want to live in fear and I wont! "

That's a happier thing to hear

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Honestly I dont get scared.. Other people are walking home or out to clear their head like I am, they have every right to be out.. I go out quite a lot at night to think and have never been approached by anyone.. I dont want to live in fear and I wont!

Love walking late at night."

It's nice eh, much more peaceful and free at night I find. Far from the madding crowd and all that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to make a point to say a cheery hello to old folks as I pass them, because you can see the thoughts running through their heads as you approach, and it's a shit feeling to think someone has already drawn that assumption of your character..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP have you ever had the feeling you are being watched then turned around and seen someone is actually watching you?

Something tingles in the senses signalling a potential threat when another person or animal takes too much interest in a person.

All of your scrutiny of the woman possibly increased her adrenaline and fear levels maybe next time just go home without paying so much attention and you will avoid triggering the fear response.

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By *onkers66Man
over a year ago

London

I tend to cough so that they are aware i am there . Then just carry on about my buisness . Never had sny issues .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"OP have you ever had the feeling you are being watched then turned around and seen someone is actually watching you?

Something tingles in the senses signalling a potential threat when another person or animal takes too much interest in a person.

All of your scrutiny of the woman possibly increased her adrenaline and fear levels maybe next time just go home without paying so much attention and you will avoid triggering the fear response.

"

I hear what your saying and yeah, I'd agree to a degree.

I'm not sure at the time though I was 'scrutinizing' the lady, the thought process I described was pretty quick, and i did shake off the idea i might worry her and decide just to carry on as I was pretty fast. and I didn't remain concentrating on her...I was aware of her, the same as I am any other time I'm

walking behind someone, the scrutiny of the situation came after the fact as I was just expecing to pass her, nod and smile and carry on, the only thing that was different was her reaction, I wasn't expecting her to make a little dash for a car

Still, its and interesting idea and food for thought......

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I tend to make a point to say a cheery hello to old folks as I pass them, because you can see the thoughts running through their heads as you approach, and it's a shit feeling to think someone has already drawn that assumption of your character.. "
I know what you mean,

I normally give folk a smile and a nod or whatever, some aknowledement anyhow, but she and I never made eye contact till she was in the motor...

And saying hi from a couple of meters behind someone...not something I normally do

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

A lady at the bottom of our street used to hand out sweets to us schoolchildren. Can't imagine that happening now, whether it's an old lady or a kindly gent

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A lady at the bottom of our street used to hand out sweets to us schoolchildren. Can't imagine that happening now, whether it's an old lady or a kindly gent "

ts rare to come across stuff like that these days....there's a chap who lives on the street I lived on when I was in Glasgow (well, kilsyth, but few people have heard of it so I say glasgow)...he'd turn his house into a grotto pretty much at Christmas, mental amounts of lights, Christmas music etc, the kids on the street would go around and they'd get sweets or treats off him....similar thing at haloween except he'd leave his door open and they'd go in and he'd be waiting in there someplace to leap out at them and give them a fright....he still does as far as I know, great guy

Was a great little community though...very close knit.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I usually find a quick "good evening" usually does the trick, oh and I'd have probably put my hood down too (I never wear them personally) "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to avoid going out at night but when I do I get nervous and when in my car alone I always lock the doors.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I tend to cough so that they are aware i am there . Then just carry on about my buisness . Never had sny issues . "

I do that if I'm walking behind someone at night. Another woman won't know I'm female till I pass her. Madness. Know what you mean OP.

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