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Can being nice be bad for you???

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I would describe myself as kind and caring and would do anything for anyone, as im sure alot of us would.

My question is though do you feel that by being as available to help that you infact start to neglect your own needs and sometimes suffer emotionally and physically????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you have to strike a balance. I find it deeply fulfilling and heartwarming to do things for others.

I enjoy doing it and seeing the benefits it gives the recipients. By the same token though I know how important it is to have me/us time too. Lest we forget to enjoy our own lives.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh yes! I spend so much time looking out for everyone else, being too kind and trusting and have suffered for it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh yes! I spend so much time looking out for everyone else, being too kind and trusting and have suffered for it x"

Ditto this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are a couple of people close to me who are very much like that. I worry that they will get taken advantage of, but it is in their nature to be that way and they seem much liked and admired by all their friends.

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I find the good stuff you do seems to work it's way back round to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a word yes, it's great helping others, and even if you dedicate your life to helping others you have to have that one thing for yourself, it's maintainence of the soul and you can't help others if you are drained, it's better to help others to help themselves than to do everything for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really would,nt know

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have always been the kind of person who always looks out for others but lately I've got myself in a right rutt and feel like ive lost me!

My spare time consists of running about after everyone else but me. I just can't seem to step back and say no I feel like im letting people down!

For those that have found themselves in a rutt like me how did you get back onto a even level?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have always been the kind of person who always looks out for others but lately I've got myself in a right rutt and feel like ive lost me!

My spare time consists of running about after everyone else but me. I just can't seem to step back and say no I feel like im letting people down!

For those that have found themselves in a rutt like me how did you get back onto a even level?

"

Personally I had a nervous breakdown...after that enough people laid off me for it to be manageable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have always been the kind of person who always looks out for others but lately I've got myself in a right rutt and feel like ive lost me!

My spare time consists of running about after everyone else but me. I just can't seem to step back and say no I feel like im letting people down!

For those that have found themselves in a rutt like me how did you get back onto a even level?

"

You simply have to say one day 'sorry I can't help this time' 'I'd love to but have something else planned'

You have to forcibly make time for yourself to do things you like or you'll just become a shadow that drifts through life or someone who's taken advantage of constantly.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Yes. You need to know when being nice crosses over into martyrdom. You're no good to anyone if you're run in to the ground.

The only person who can make you take a step back is you and you need to realise that you aren't responsible for everyone else, you simply don't have the power to make other people better all the time. Once you realise that you will be able to step back and take some time for yourself.

Do you suffer from anxiety? Do you worry about what will happen if you don't do these things?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would suggest a holiday or a weekend break if a holiday is not manageable.

You get out of the environment that is draining you and surprisingly those who depend on you will find they can fend for themselves.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks everyone x some food for thought!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks everyone x some food for thought! "

how nice of you,x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have always been the kind of person who always looks out for others but lately I've got myself in a right rutt and feel like ive lost me!

My spare time consists of running about after everyone else but me. I just can't seem to step back and say no I feel like im letting people down!

For those that have found themselves in a rutt like me how did you get back onto a even level?

"

I'll let you know when and if I do

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