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Nobby's Agony Advice Column

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Post your problems here.

I will reply to as many as I can.

My advice will be harsh, stupid and probably inappropriate.

Up to you if you want to ask for it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Despite my legendary elephantine penis, and my love of fruity buns, I cannot find a woman brave enough to meet me.

What am I doing wrong?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ladies have lovely buns so use your trunk, sorry ridiculously long penis, to get a grip of the buns. Alternatively I'm sure you could practice enough to play a tune on it and like the pied piper they will all follow you!

Simples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Nobby

In the interests of "developing" a larger penis, i have spent the last week with 5kg hanging off of my penis.

To date, the only improvement i've seen is that my tackle has turned black.

Should i make this a feature of my profile, maybe with a name change, or see a Doctor?

yrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oi, Nobby, i'm in agony here.

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Keep hanging in there, he'll be back after his holiday.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Dear Nobby

In the interests of "developing" a larger penis, i have spent the last week with 5kg hanging off of my penis.

To date, the only improvement i've seen is that my tackle has turned black.

Should i make this a feature of my profile, maybe with a name change, or see a Doctor?

yrs

"

Clearly you have found an excellent new trick. You now have a black cock which many women here are seeking. You should patent this technique and become a sex millionaire.

If you want a "big" black cock then I find that hitting your little man with a rubber mallet works wonders. The swelling will approximately double your size. The effect is however temporary as the swelling will go down after one week so the treatment needs to be repeated.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Oi, Nobby, i'm in agony here. "

This is the problem with having a dogs bollocks. Sooner or later the dog wishes to retrieve them. If you look down you may find the agony results from having a Rottweiler attached to said bollocks as he seeks to regain possession.

You will need to tempt him away with a large helping of pedigree chum. Spread this liberally over a mates tackle and the dog will then attach himself to your mate instead.

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