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The stories we tell ourselves

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

When you look back at your life and relationships, the good and the bad, can you see the stories you have created about your relationships and your part in them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My past is legendary.

The people in the present have trouble believing I am such a boring twat now

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"My past is legendary.

The people in the present have trouble believing I am such a boring twat now"

That might be the stories you tell them. Are they the same stories you tell yourself?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They don't believe me, never have. It's when old friends talk about the scrapes we got into.

Nobody believes me about the scars on my head or any of the transplant. Tbh I wouldn't either.

All true though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you look back at your life and relationships, the good and the bad, can you see the stories you have created about your relationships and your part in them?

"

Yes. All of them brought me here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some colourful things have occurrd in my life.

I chose now to remember the good stuff.

No stories... Just lessons learned.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

I made huge mistakes but worked out ok in the end ... have been told im making it up.... I wish I had

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By *andWCouple
over a year ago

Pontypridd

In the past I have been guilty of painting an ex very badly, as I get older I can now see I was not innocent in the relationship by a long stretch, yet this is the first time I've voiced it to anyone apart from myself. We aren't in contact now and haven't been for years, I can't see that changing at all but if we ever were to meet he deserves a big apology

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In the past I have been guilty of painting an ex very badly, as I get older I can now see I was not innocent in the relationship by a long stretch, yet this is the first time I've voiced it to anyone apart from myself. We aren't in contact now and haven't been for years, I can't see that changing at all but if we ever were to meet he deserves a big apology "

I've got this in reverse with an ex. I thought it was all my fault but now realise she had some 'quirks' too.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"In the past I have been guilty of painting an ex very badly, as I get older I can now see I was not innocent in the relationship by a long stretch, yet this is the first time I've voiced it to anyone apart from myself. We aren't in contact now and haven't been for years, I can't see that changing at all but if we ever were to meet he deserves a big apology "

That's exactly what I mean. Thank you for sharing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never painted exes in a bad light, always separated amicably

What wasn't to be, wasn't to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if anything I've painted them in a better light and taken the full brunt of the blame. I am generally pretty hard on myself but I wouldn't have it any other way, it's quite the burden to carry sometimes.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that the men I've had relationships with probably think I am a heinous bitch, but I don't care. The only ex that matters is the one that knows me best and so knows that, although I am a heinous bitch, I'm not to the people I really care about.

My mother has completely re-made her past life to the extent that she remembers awful things me and my sisters have done that we have never done. I hope I don't end up like that.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I think if anything I've painted them in a better light and taken the full brunt of the blame. I am generally pretty hard on myself but I wouldn't have it any other way, it's quite the burden to carry sometimes. "

That's part of the story creation isn't it?

Stop carrying the burden.

It's not just about the break-ups but the start of the relationships. It's about the things we tell ourselves to justify an action.

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By *andWCouple
over a year ago

Pontypridd


"In the past I have been guilty of painting an ex very badly, as I get older I can now see I was not innocent in the relationship by a long stretch, yet this is the first time I've voiced it to anyone apart from myself. We aren't in contact now and haven't been for years, I can't see that changing at all but if we ever were to meet he deserves a big apology

That's exactly what I mean. Thank you for sharing.

"

Sometimes it's easier to re-write it than face up to the fact you aren't as nice a person as you would like to be. Easier but not the best way x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also difficult to face up to the face you were too nice and allowed yourself to be guided....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on the ex, some I speak only good of and ignore their failings. And know that they do the same of me. But there is one I have nothing good to say about, she used me and played me for a fool and while I don't slag her off I can't think or say anything positive. I'm still in contact with 2 exes and value their friendship.

I tend to dwell on positive memories rather than negative as I think it's healthier. Failed relationships tend to still have good times far outweighing the bad - so remember them. It takes 2 people to make a relationship work and often 2 to make it fail. If you blame the other person then how will you grow as a person? I'm personally self-aware enough to know I'm quite a difficult person to be in a relationship with and openly admit that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you look back at your life and relationships, the good and the bad, can you see the stories you have created about your relationships and your part in them?

Yes. All of them brought me here. "

me too...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not me as I have chosen to be single all my life.. great choice it was to

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I tend to live for now and as long as I stick with the decisions I've taken, based in part on what's gone on, I'm happy. I don't have any stories, life right now is too gripping - not in any other way than it's engrossing.

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