FabSwingers.com forum: Not looking single guys

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why is this site so bias towards couples and females to the point where it's almost derogatory? When you block single guys it specifically says "not looking…" on your profile. Doesn't do that when you block females, couples and trannies though!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Derogatory ?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I don't think it matters.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

It may be (right or wrongly) that swinging is traditionally a couples sport.... it was formally called "wife swapping".

Where as what happens between singles used to be just called "shagging"....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/10/14 17:59:53]

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

"It may be (right or wrongly) that swinging is traditionally a couples sport.... it was formally called "wife swapping".

Where as what happens between singles used to be just called "shagging"...."

Who told you that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what about all the couples looking for single bi females? Are they swingers?

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"So what about all the couples looking for single bi females? Are they swingers? "

In most cases just dreamers......

But to be honest, I believe that the world of swinging isn't so black and white.... Just shades of grey ( although not 50)

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

it saves wasting a minute of your time on them, not even a nano second..

you see 'not looking for single guys' and move on.

it really is that easy, some people take that rejection like the person has refused you their kidney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's kind of annoying when you find the profile of someone who's really nice and you really wanna talk to them and then you see that they're not interested in single guys. It's like falling at the last hurdle haha.

Although the worst is when it says 'not interested in single guys', but a fair few of their verifications are from single men and recent too.

I know why it's done, to stop having an inbox filled with hundreds of messages everyday. But it is like 'gah! If only I could message you!' lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It may be (right or wrongly) that swinging is traditionally a couples sport.... it was formally called "wife swapping".

Where as what happens between singles used to be just called "shagging"...."

What's that got to do with the OP? It doesn't say no single females or TVs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here we go again it's personal choice. Alot on here don't like fat people, upto them we don't like anorexic....our choice. it's what life's all about

Move on stop moaning

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

" Doesn't do that when you block females, couples and trannies though!!"

I've a letter from my mum that lets me go where I want

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"It may be (right or wrongly) that swinging is traditionally a couples sport.... it was formally called "wife swapping".

Where as what happens between singles used to be just called "shagging"....

What's that got to do with the OP? It doesn't say no single females or TVs "

It was an answer to the question, not a criticism of anyone. Just highlighting the simplistic definition of swinging.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"It's kind of annoying when you find the profile of someone who's really nice and you really wanna talk to them and then you see that they're not interested in single guys. It's like falling at the last hurdle haha.

Although the worst is when it says 'not interested in single guys', but a fair few of their verifications are from single men and recent too.

I know why it's done, to stop having an inbox filled with hundreds of messages everyday. But it is like 'gah! If only I could message you!' lol."

But just because you're interested in them doesn't men the feeling is mutual!

I agree that it seems odd that there's no similar statement saying "not looking for couples/single females/TV/TS" - if there is one for single men equally there should be the others.

But it's not worth worrying about something you can't change.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

To clarify, I think that the site designers think (or thought) that the default requirements for swinging were couples looking for other couples.

The "Not Looking for Single Men" tag was probably a response to the main complaint that couples (not all but most) have from visiting clubs and parties.

I actually agree with the sentiment of the original post that it's unbalanced and it should either not say "not looking for..." or say it for all categories.

Cal xx

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By *ugarNspicecplCouple
over a year ago

SCUNTHORPE

"it saves wasting a minute of your time on them, not even a nano second..

you see 'not looking for single guys' and move on.

it really is that easy, some people take that rejection like the person has refused you their kidney"

LMAO

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Although the worst is when it says 'not interested in single guys', but a fair few of their verifications are from single men and recent too.

I know why it's done, to stop having an inbox filled with hundreds of messages everyday. But it is like 'gah! If only I could message you!' lol."

If only you could message them just to get ignored/deleted/blocked or told to feck off?

Just because someone ticks all your boxes does not mean it's going to be reciprocated, no matter how witty or funny or well crafted the message you wish you could send.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Although the worst is when it says 'not interested in single guys', but a fair few of their verifications are from single men and recent too.

I know why it's done, to stop having an inbox filled with hundreds of messages everyday. But it is like 'gah! If only I could message you!' lol."

So basically it should be all about what you want and sod what they want?

You may think they are perfect for you but they don't want to chat to you. If they did they'd find you and message you.

What would be the point of being able to message and annoy someone not interested? That's a recipe for driving people away from the site.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

As for the people that complain others aren't looking for single men but have veris from single men, maybe they are men they met at clubs or parties and clicked with, maybe they used to meet single men but don't now, maybe they only very occasionally meet single men.

It suits a lot of women and couples to not allow messages from single men and to find those that interest them when they are looking.

See it as a way of limiting the number of rejections/no replys you get.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although the worst is when it says 'not interested in single guys', but a fair few of their verifications are from single men and recent too.

I know why it's done, to stop having an inbox filled with hundreds of messages everyday. But it is like 'gah! If only I could message you!' lol."

I'm here to meet single men but I've set my age range to 98 - 99 so as NOT to receive a box full of messages from men who can't be bothered to read my profile. I wink / message the men I'm interested in now and life is SO much easier.

Just because you're interested in them doesn't mean they're interested in you I'm afraid. This is sometimes difficult for some to understand and leads to a lot of unnecessary 'Why not' ping pong messages and more often than not, a block because they were becoming a pain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Welcome back legs

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By *exine xCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

"Why is this site so bias towards couples and females to the point where it's almost derogatory? When you block single guys it specifically says "not looking…" on your profile. Doesn't do that when you block females, couples and trannies though!!"

"Trannies" ?

That's

Derogatory

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

"it saves wasting a minute of your time on them, not even a nano second..

you see 'not looking for single guys' and move on.

it really is that easy, some people take that rejection like the person has refused you their kidney"

*casually sharpens axe*

That is largely irrelevant to me...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Trannies" ?

That's

Derogatory

It's a shortened non-offensive reference to transsexuals and transvestites. No hurt intended.

It's like saying I'm going for lunch instead of the correct term "luncheon". When I say this I don't mean to offend lunch

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As usual a lot of people missing my point and picking up on irrelevant things.

Thank you for all the positive comments though.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Trannies" ?

That's

Derogatory

It's a shortened non-offensive reference to transsexuals and transvestites. No hurt intended.

It's like saying I'm going for lunch instead of the correct term "luncheon". When I say this I don't mean to offend lunch

Oh. So today I am spending time with a friend of mine who's family originates in the Indian sub-continent. By your reckoning I can save myself a couple of syllables instead of having to get my tongue around that tricky word Pakistani.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it saves wasting a minute of your time on them, not even a nano second..

you see 'not looking for single guys' and move on.

it really is that easy, some people take that rejection like the person has refused you their kidney"

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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago

so near and yet so far....

Ha ha awesome idea legs xx

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Trannies" ?

That's

Derogatory

It's a shortened non-offensive reference to transsexuals and transvestites. No hurt intended.

It's like saying I'm going for lunch instead of the correct term "luncheon". When I say this I don't mean to offend lunch

If no hurt is intended, I would suggest a few modifications to the way you use words.

Tranny is indeed considered a derogatory term by many people. Most transsexuals consider it extremely offensive.

Many TVs don't mind it. Some refer to themselves that way. That's not to say there aren't those that find it derogatory.

However, it's absolutely not inoffensive when used to refer to transsexual people.

A better response, rather than insisting it's not offensive because you meant no offence would be to say thank you for letting you know, that you hadn't realised and that you meant no offence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Advanced search - 'looking for a man'? Hey presto - list of profiles looking for men?

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Advanced search - 'looking for a man'? Hey presto - list of profiles looking for men? "

This "advanced" technique is only to be used by intelligent gents, not just anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Welcome back legs

Thanks

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Advanced search - 'looking for a man'? Hey presto - list of profiles looking for men?

This "advanced" technique is only to be used by intelligent gents, not just anyone.

Wasn't the original point of the thread questioning why there is a message saying "not looking for single men" but not for any other gender/classification?

Or am I not 'advanced' enough to have understood the question correctly?

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Advanced search - 'looking for a man'? Hey presto - list of profiles looking for men?

This "advanced" technique is only to be used by intelligent gents, not just anyone.

Wasn't the original point of the thread questioning why there is a message saying "not looking for single men" but not for any other gender/classification?

Or am I not 'advanced' enough to have understood the question correctly?

That is how I interpreted it too. Perhaps we are both not advanced enough.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Advanced search - 'looking for a man'? Hey presto - list of profiles looking for men?

This "advanced" technique is only to be used by intelligent gents, not just anyone.

Wasn't the original point of the thread questioning why there is a message saying "not looking for single men" but not for any other gender/classification?

Or am I not 'advanced' enough to have understood the question correctly?

Thanks for reiterating this point obi. I think it's another case of so called advanced people not being too advanced at all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Trannies" ?

That's

Derogatory

It's a shortened non-offensive reference to transsexuals and transvestites. No hurt intended.

It's like saying I'm going for lunch instead of the correct term "luncheon". When I say this I don't mean to offend lunch

If no hurt is intended, I would suggest a few modifications to the way you use words.

Tranny is indeed considered a derogatory term by many people. Most transsexuals consider it extremely offensive.

Many TVs don't mind it. Some refer to themselves that way. That's not to say there aren't those that find it derogatory.

However, it's absolutely not inoffensive when used to refer to transsexual people.

A better response, rather than insisting it's not offensive because you meant no offence would be to say thank you for letting you know, that you hadn't realised and that you meant no offence."

Okay I take your point voluptuous. It's maybe similar to "acceptable" abbreviations to refer to different races 20-30 years ago. If someone has taken offence; that wasn't my intention, I didn't know, I apologise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although the worst is when it says 'not interested in single guys', but a fair few of their verifications are from single men and recent too.

I know why it's done, to stop having an inbox filled with hundreds of messages everyday. But it is like 'gah! If only I could message you!' lol."

Due to the large amount of single males o here, couples and in fact single ladies ca n pick and choose who they meet. The no single male filter is there to stop the all too common 'I am horny' or 'hi fancy a fuck' messages. Which might work brilliantly at a pub or club are not too successful on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/10/14 09:30:45]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have "not looking for single men" on my profile and they seem to leave me alone lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It saves time having the not looking message on there. The one issue I have is when people have a filter in place, but then add a meet for the group they have blocked.

So in case, the girl who blocked couples but then posted a meet request specifically for couples, but no one could contact her.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I agree with you OP in that it should include everyone that is filtered out not just single guys x

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"It saves time having the not looking message on there. The one issue I have is when people have a filter in place, but then add a meet for the group they have blocked.

So in case, the girl who blocked couples but then posted a meet request specifically for couples, but no one could contact her. "

That's simply down to people forgetting to remove filters at a given time.

As the OP stated (and a few of us seem to have grasped the initial question!) - it simply seems odd that there are options to filter messages (quite rightly and nobody is questioning this!!!) from all groups - single males, single females, MF couples, MM couples, FF couples, TV/TS - and yet the only group where a specific 'not looking to meet.....' statement appears on profiles is single men!

Is it any wonder that many seem to think there is a certain pecking order both in swinging and on site?

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